Chapter Seventeen: The Birds and the Honey Bees

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to fucking with Reid because it makes me happy when he gets upset.

-Blue Bells

Spencer strode confidently into the break room, meeting Hotch, Rossi and Prentiss. He flashed a smile and nodded, "Good morning, everyone. Good, good, good morning."

Prentiss smirked, "Someone's in a sunny mood today."

"I wonder who that is," Spencer sighed with a grin, placing his satchel on the floor beside his chair and sliding the file in front of him. He sat with ease even though it hurt like a motherfucker, because he remembers how it came to hurt this way. Damn, Derek fucked him good last night. Over his night stand, over his dresser drawer, on the floor, on the wall, halfway down the stairs, on the kitchen table, on the counter, beside the fridge, inside the fridge (God only know how they'd managed that one, but they made it work…). To make a long story short, they'd officially christened the entirety of Derek's apartment and boy, did it take strength, ingenuity, and good ol' dedication. That, my friends, is years of sexual tension at its finest. So, he let out another smile. The second Spencer gets one moment alone with Derek he's going to drag him into the nearest open room and remind him just how appreciative he was of their little rendezvous last night. He's made that decision as he drove to work this morning after getting dressed in Derek's bathroom.

Hotch asked, "Is there a reason for your unprecedented enthusiasm?"

Spencer gave a casual shrug and opened the file, reviewing it with a dismissed smile, "Maybe there is, maybe there isn't…"

Prentiss began to smile, "And here comes the cryptic Reid we all know and love. 'He's an onion, he's got layers'..."

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek, "I'm not being cryptic. I'm just insinuating that my personal life is my personal life and I can choose the amount in which I allow you to perceive."

Rossi let out a grin, "Well, I'll be damned."

Spencer glanced up, "What?"

He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief, "You got laid last night, didn't you?"

"Who said that?" Spencer asked, suppressing the urge to smile and brag as loudly as he could about the kick ass night he had.

"Your body language did. Your posture is held more upright in confidence, you can barely hold back a smile," Rossi replied simply, "And the gleam afterglow has cast on your complexion is, need I say, very classy."

Spencer narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Rossi, "Are you profiling me?"

Rossi nodded, "Shamelessly."

At that moment, the door opened once more revealing a tall, muscle bound Derek. Was it just Spencer, or was Derek more attractive now that he's personally licked every inch of that gorgeous fucking body? Derek raised the file and stated simply, "JJ's coming in a moment, she just got a call from the Atlanta PD, and apparently they have some new information about the kidnapper."

Prentiss pointed at Spencer, "Morgan, did you hear—"

Spencer raised his hands in urgency, "No, Prentiss, no! I'll never live it down!"

"—Reid got laid."

Spencer facepalmed, "I never even said I got laid!"

Derek raised his eyebrows in surprise, closing the door and glancing his way, "Jesus Christ, kid, finally. One would think you were waiting for an engraved invitation."

Rossi looked up with pride clear on his face, "I take full responsibility for profiling it out of him!"

"Thanks for the ammo, Rossi, because I have a feeling this one will never get old," Derek replied with a wink

Spencer worried his bottom lip. Awesome.

Sliding into the seat beside him with a vicious grin that only spells trouble, Derek remarked loudly, "I had a feeling sooner or later it would fall off, but, no. Reid nipped it in the bud. Literally."

Spencer sighed, "Yeah, well, thank you very much for your kind words and blessing, but I didn't ask for it."

Derek grinned, "You know me. I'm just nice like that."

Spencer folded his arms and grumbled, "And this is where the teasing starts."

"Damn right it is," Derek chuckled, walking behind Spencer and ruffling his hair out of place fondly, "Because now, I'm going to have to mess with you all day. You won't hear the end of this until you're fifty."

Prentiss laughed, "Mind if I join in."

"Please do! The more the merrier!" Derek said, sliding into his seat.

Prentiss grinned, "I call the afternoon shift!"

Spencer groaned, "Or, everybody could leave me alone and we could get on with the case as if this isn't any of your business in the first place."

Rossi smirked, "Or, we could make you even more uncomfortable and not change the subject."

Spencer murmured into his hands, "Or, you could do the opposite."

Prentiss began to laugh, "Now, Reid, why would we do a thing like that?"

Hotch raised a silent hand, "Settle down, children."

The team began to quiet as they all looked toward their leader's unsmiling form at the front of the room. He straightened his tie and replied, "So… was she attractive?"

"Hotch... are you serious?" Spencer paused.

Hotch looked back on him, his deadpan face not moving an inch. That answers Reid's question.

Spencer replied slowly, "Uh… I… well, really nice… personality."

Prentiss exclaimed, "Damn."

Rossi chuckled, "That's 'no' for 500, Alex."

Derek shook his head and tutted, "Could have done better, Reid. You deserve a nice, good-looking woman. Don't sell yourself short."

"I wasn't selling myself short," Spencer said defensively, "Attractive is a word that pales in comparison to the beauty I spent the night with by sexualizing and dehumanizing the noun. Hack fun at me all you want, but let the jokes stop at my expense. Between the two of us, I fall more behind in the aesthetic department."

"Using your intellect as a defense mechanism, I see." Hotch let out a small smile, "You must really love her."

Spencer nodded quietly, "Yeah, I do."

Hotch replied, "Love has nothing to defend, Reid."

Prentiss sighed, "Aww, that's so cute! Do we at least get a name?"

Spencer glanced at her, "Not if I can help it."

JJ opened the door next, followed by a bright haired, laptop carrying Garcia. They were gossiping girlishly and giggling, their heads close together as they entered, taking a seat by each other as they continued to whisper. The team stared back at them. As they sat, their voices stilled and Garcia sang as she opened her computer, "Hello, my lovelies."

Derek nodded, "Hi, baby girl."

Garcia giggled and waved a bangle adorned hand at him, "Oh, you already bid me a good morning, my handsome god of chocolate thunder, but I will gladly take the second salutation."

JJ set down her file and stood before the room, "Six students at a high school in Atlanta were playing Man Hunt in a graveyard, and actually became hunted—"

Garcia interrupted, "Wait! Where's Reid?"

Spencer blinked and raised his hand so she could see him.

Garcia winked and gave thumbs up, "I heard you got laid last night."

"Well, at this rate, it's public knowledge, now, isn't it?" Spencer sighed dejectedly.

"I told you you'd get ass this year, didn't I?" Garcia giggled, reaching over the table as her bangles made a joyful noise, "Didn't I?"

Spencer felt the floodgates in is face burst and he leaned his head into folded arms on the table, "Yes, now can we please get to the case and let it go. People are in danger and everyone in the room can't stop talking about my sex life."

Garcia winked, "Oh, so you have a sex life now?"

Spencer mumbled, "Who says I never did before?"

Prentiss chuckled, "Come on, Reid, our combined IQ may not be 187, but damn if it's not high."

"Can we get to the task at hand?!" Spencer hissed into is arms.

Hotch spoke out, "Yes, we're getting off topic and unproductive..."

Spencer sighed, "Well, isn't that the statement of the century."

Hotch replied, "Because we haven't yet asked... blonde or brunette?"

Spencer glared across the table at him as the room broke out in laughter.

"So, as I was saying," JJ chuckled at the front of the board, "The case."

While on the plane, Spencer sat reviewing a recent file form from the Atlanta PD which will help him create a formal geographical profile for where the kidnapper might strike next. If they can assume his next move, there's a large chance they can stop the kidnappings, or better, catch the guy responsible. He glanced over the pages, reading quickly and flipping them every two minutes. Suddenly his cell phone began to wail loudly beside him, "I just had sex! And it felt so good! A woman let me put my penis inside of her! I just had sex! And I'll never go back—"

Spencer put his phone on vibrate, looked up deadpan at Derek from across the plane and glared viciously, "I don't know who told you were funny, but not only were they lying, they were doing the world a grave disservice."

Derek, caught in a fit of laughter, replied between gasps, "I'm sorry, my man, but I was not responsible for that one."

Garcia's face lit up on the computer at Hotch's table, "Guilty!"

Spencer grimaced, "Can everybody just get it over with now, so that I'm not embarrassed in front of the entire Atlanta Staff of Police?"

Derek looked up at Spencer with a knowing smile, "What was that about 'getting it over with'?"

Spencer sent a glare his way, "Morgan, don't start because it'll take years for it to end."

"Oh, Dr. Reid," he grinned, "How can one start what's already begun?"

Spencer muttered under his breath, "Please. For five fucking seconds…"

Derek beamed, "What did you say about fucking?"

"Morgan, come on, really?!" Spencer cried out, "Do you have to twist everything that comes out of my mouth?"

Derek countered quickly, "What about twisting things that come out of your mouth?"

Spencer growled, "Okay, ha ha ha. Funny, alright? Now, stop."

Derek shrugged, "That's obviously not what you were saying last night, or we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we?"

Spencer narrowed his eyes at Derek, "Seriously, how long are you going to tease me? When are you going to finish?"

Derek winked, "Aaaaaaaaaand, that's what she said."

By then, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss were in stitches. Hotch was shaking his head critically; eyebrows set to give the "Patented Hotch Look of Grave Disappointment".

Garcia chuckled from the screen, "I didn't have anything important to say, so I'll just leave you all to pick on Reid. See you later, my lovers!"

The plane was eerily quiet for a moment and Prentiss whispered something barely inaudible to JJ whom burst out laughing. She chuckled and waved Rossi over and whispered it into is ear. Then Rossi began to laugh, striding over to Derek to whisper it to him. Derek's face flushed for a second as it took him an extra moment to laugh and even then, it didn't reach his eyes. Others may have perceived it to be him taking a moment to understand, but Spencer could tell what it was. They were cracking fun at him now, even though they didn't know it.

It was a good thing that Derek was getting just a tad bit of the teasing. Spencer had been dealt the ass end of it lately and it made him smile to see Derek get shagged up a bit. But, then again, what were they saying about Spencer's mysterious lover? Were they joking about it being a man? Because it was. It was Derek. And now, Derek had to walk around with that, knowing it were true and not being able to tell. Spencer bets he didn't foresee that happening, the tables turning. Now, Derek had to spend the entire day hearing everyone chiding Spencer about the poor girl he screwed, knowing all the while that the "poor girl" they joked about was actually him.

The whole plane was still laughing and Spencer folded his arms in front of him, waiting for it to stop. He'll let them get their kicks now, because if and when Spencer and Derek's relationship gets out, the teasing will be worse but at least it would be five on two instead of six on one. Less man power.

In the midst of all of the laughing, Spencer received a text message as his phone buzzed beside him.

Derek: They just said the girl u slept with last night must've fallen asleep on u when u started rambling off the numbers of pi on top of her. Oh, contraire. We stayed up all night

Spencer smiled and sent back.

Spencer: Damn right. Hey, speaking of, remember that thing I did on the table last night that you liked so much?

Moments later, Derek looked into his lap and blinked, subtly licking his lips to keep from outright grinning at the message.

His phone vibrated against his leg.

Derek: As if I could 4get. That was the sexiest thing ive ever seen.

Spencer: Supply closet. Six o'clock. Bring rope.

Derek's eyes widened at that one and Spencer suppressed a laugh.

Derek: Wat r we going 2 need that 4

Spencer: Use your imagination. ;)

Derek gulped.

Derek: Holy fuck

Spencer felt himself give a smile.

Spencer: Is that 'holy fuck you're awesome', or 'holy fuck you're weird'?

Derek: Its an awesum holy fuck! But... isnt it crazy soon 2 b rolling out the extra stuff

Spencer: I don't think you understand, Derek. There is no crazy like real, repressed crazy. I've had too much time to think out all of the things I want to do to you. Way too much time.

Derek: Thnx, bro, I have a boner now

Spencer: Don't worry. I'll lick it off. ;)

As Spencer glanced up at Derek checking his phone, he noticed Derek's hand shoot up to his mouth and his dark eyes shoot over to Spencer's. He was not at all expecting Spencer to say that. Spencer stared back with no intention of letting up. Derek raised his eyebrows and Spencer nodded seriously.

Derek: Ur 20 times dirtier than I thought u were and I think I like it.

Spencer: Good, because the second I get you alone I'm going to get downright grimy. ;)

Derek: Fuck, Spencer, u r aware that ur sexting me on a plane full of profilers, rite? Were gonna get caught

Spencer: What's 'sexting'?

Derek: this

Spencer: Do you mean me text messaging you about how much I want your dick in my mouth? ;)

Derek: Jesus Christ, Spencer.

Spencer: He can't save you from the mind-blowing shit I'm going to do to you, so I suggest not using his name in vain. )

Derek: If u send me one more winky face I swear 2 god...

Spencer: Oh, I'm so scared. ;) ;) ;) ;)

Derek: …I'll take you out of your seat, drag u in 2 the bathroom, and make sure u can't sit bak down

Spencer: swfnureiunieuuwrekjf'

Derek: Ooh, I like the sound of that

Spencer: The sound of what? I accidentally sat on my phone.

Derek: Dear Lord, man, texting u is like watchin the Hunger Games movie w/out reading the book: hard 2 fucking understand.

Spencer: What are the Hunger Games?

Derek: Pleez don't b serious

Spencer: What? Now I'm curious. Is it some sort of starvation tactic?

Derek: Just forget it

Spencer: I have an eidetic memory, jackass, I can't.

Derek: Don't get smart w/ me. I'll turn this plane around.

Spencer: Do you mean smart as in clever, witty, or readily effective? Or do you mean smart as in something that will hurt, or inflict pain? Usually, I would infer that you meant the former instead of the latter though…

Derek: Why did that mini English lesson turn me on?

Spencer: Are you being facetious, or do you generally not know?

Derek: Lol, wat I meant to say was, I think u may be right. I could be sapiosexual…

Spencer: Well, thank goodness I'm certifiably a genius, or this relationship would get really awkward really fast.

Derek: True dat

Spencer: ;)

Derek: Goddammit.

Spencer: lol

The Atlanta PD was very nicely organized and well kempt, but the FBI ran a ship tighter than a corn kernel in a bendy straw. To make a long story short, they were missing case reports, recent maps of road changes, and their coffee machine was shit. At least as he muddled through case-work after case-work, he had something tall, dark and handsome to look at across the room. Hotch had stuck him with Derek all day in the office mainly to fuck with him (Spencer is pretty sure that while it may be far off the reservation, Hotch does have a very cruel sense of humor since he most likely did that to place him at the mercy of Derek's teasing) while the rest of the team was split up. Prentiss went with him, and JJ and Rossi went to investigate the kidnapping sites.

He felt a balled up piece of paper hit him on the head as he worked. Spencer growled and bent to retrieve it, opening it up to read: Five fifty four.

Spencer blinked. Fuck, he'd totally lost track of his plans to… oh, yeah. Now he remembers. He can't wait. Now that it's on his mind, half of him is saying "pay attention to your work, Spencer" and the other part is saying "fuck those missing kids! You go on and waste ten minutes sucking on Derek's chest". Jeez, he's so torn. Every second he spends not trying to find those children, the longer they're in captivity. He sure would be upset if Rossi had paused their search for him when Tobias Hankel had him strapped to a chair to go screw around with Strauss… then again, Strauss isn't the sexy, handsome, intoxicating Derek Morgan. She doesn't have chocolate brown skin and strong biceps. She doesn't have soft, sensitive eyes and a quick wit. She doesn't have a tall body, big hands, and abs for days. She doesn't have any of that. And under quick inventory, Spencer's pretty sure she's not packing what Derek is in her granny panties. He almost shuddered at the table thinking about what Derek can do with that thing. What Derek has done with that thing. Spencer paused. Maybe he will write sonnets about Derek's dick.

He checked his watch and strode off to 'use the bathroom' walking out of the busy offices and down a quieter hall to be dragged into a supply closet by a large, smiling Derek, "Hey, sweet stuff."

Spencer breathed, "Hey, Derek."

"Mmm, Pretty Boy, I've been thinking about you all day long," Derek leaned forward to press licking kisses down Spencer's neck.

Spencer's breath caught in his throat and he ran his fingertips down Derek's back, "Yeah, Derek."

Derek grabbed the knot of his tie in his teeth and pulled gently, loosening it as he laced his fingers through Spencer's hair, "Fuck, you're so sexy, baby."

"Aww, thanks, Derek," Spencer smiled contently.

Derek frowned, "I think it's time I got a cute nickname, don't you think?"

"A cute nickname… like what?" Spencer asked.

Derek shrugged and continued, "You know how I call you Pretty Boy, and baby, and sweetie, and all that?"

"Oh, you want me to give you a term of endearment…" Spencer nodded, "Do you mean like when you called me a 'Goddamn Acrobat' yesterday—"

Derek replied, "No."

"How about something like..." Reid wiggled his eyebrows, "Sex kitten?"

Derek sighed, "No."

"Tight ass."

Derek gave him a look, "No."

"Agent Handsome."

Derek grimaced, "No, listen. Think of something that reminds you of me. Preferably something that isn't ladled with sex, because if we play our cards right... one day we might be saying these in public."

Spencer gave a simple smile as a reply.

Derek elaborated, "I chose Pretty Boy because you're adorable, 'baby' because you're younger than me, and 'sweetie' because you drown your coffee in sugar. Get me now?"

"Well, you take your coffee black, so I can't really think of anything cute that goes with a bitter morning drink. Oh! You drink your tea with honey. And I guess you remind me of honey as well. You know, because you're warm, and sweet, and tacky." Spencer narrowed his eyes as he thought, "But then honey is collected by bees, and bees are very aggressive creatures. I guess you can be aggressive as well, but now I can't choose between the honey and the bee."

Derek paused, "Did you just call me tacky?"

"Yeah, it needed to be said," Spencer waved off the statement and clapped his hands together, "Honey bee. Would you like to be called honey bee?"

"Yes! That's freakishly cute, actually," Derek grinned, "Just like you."

Spencer blushed and touched a hand to his own cheek, "Oh, Derek…"

Derek raised a pointer finger, "Ah, ah, ah."

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Honey bee."

Derek leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to Spencer's lips. Spencer returned it eagerly, enjoying the slow, sweet slide of lips brushing against each other. After a long moment, Derek grabbed the rope off of the shelf and brought it around to hit Spencer lightly on the rear. Spencer glanced up and grabbed the rope from him, sliding it around Derek's wrists and pulling as he was bound. Derek raised an eyebrow, "What are you going to do?"

Spencer smiled devilishly, "You'll see."

"Be glad I trust you with my life, because if I didn't you'd be wearing the tarp bracelet," Derek sighed against Spencer's neck.

Spencer knelt to the ground and stood up so that Derek's arms were fixed around him, "Now, you can't let me go," he said with an earnest look on his face. Derek looked back at him with large eyes. He seemed as if he wanted to say something to Spencer, but refrained, drawing him in closer to kiss the doctor's lips lightly and lovingly. Spencer's hands fell to Derek's stable chest as he reveled in the familiar warmth of Derek's arms around him. Moving his head lightly to the side, Derek accommodated for a more intimate kissing experience. The two were okay with keeping it simple for now. Later in the hotel, they'd planned ahead with chocolate syrup, fresh strawberries, and (since Derek wouldn't shut up about it) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Other than the watching ten year olds run around with flying sticks, the night was set to be amazing. Spencer was so excited that he could feel his every muscle sing. And this is why inter-team relationships are banned. Shit like this goes down, and they get nothing done.

Spencer slid his tongue into Derek's open mouth and wrapped his arms around his neck. Derek let out a quiet moan and let his hands fall lower and lower, slipping past Spencer's belt, cords, and boxers to knead lightly on his bare rear. Spencer gasped and Derek pushed their crotches together, smiling to himself as he found Spencer was getting harder by the second. Before they knew it, they were in a full scale, partially clothed make out session, which made it quite awkward for the secretary who had walked in for a ream of paper in the middle of it.

The small, redheaded woman blushed and pushed past the now shirtless, wrist bound Derek and the panting, gasping mess that was Spencer. She smiled with a chipper tone, "Good evening, Agents."

Derek and Spencer tried heavily to catch their breaths and pull apart, but couldn't because Spencer was kind of tied to Derek's chest. They struggled as she rifled through the packets behind them and Spencer eventually pulled himself off of Derek's clothless chest and out of his embrace, leaning against the opposite wall so he could grab his navy sweater vest from where it was dangling on the shelf above him. Derek wiped the saliva off of his chin and panted, "Uh… hey, Mrs. Leah Jamison, Atlanta State Chief of Police's secretary."

Spencer breathed out as his face gathered with blood in embarrassment, "Shit."

"Carry on. I'm not even here," she replied calmly, choosing three packets and stuffing them into her arms.

Derek raised his bound palms and pleaded, "It would be really awesome if you didn't tell your boss, or anyone for that matter, about this… it's kind of—"

"Illegal?" Mrs. Jamison chuckled, "I've seen worse happen in here. Just… clean up."

Spencer was now a deep, blotchy crimson, "We weren't even going to… I mean, we were just… we were in here to… uh…"

Mrs. Jamison made a face and asked, "Agent Morgan, could you hand me the grey box up there. We're missing markers in the break room."

Derek reached up with both hands as he had no other choice and handed her the tiny box. She thanked him and placed it on top of the reams of paper. Then, she left. Spencer paused and leaned over quietly to lock the door. Which was one, swift motion that could have saved them from the embarrassment that they'd just underwent. Derek smiled weakly, "I'm guessing we're done here, huh?"

Spencer placed his hand at his own chest to calm his heartbeat, "Oh, my God, we were so close to being caught. What if that were the chief, or a grounds cop, or Hotch?! That. Was. So. Exhilarating! That was the coolest thing ever! And fuck… I am so turned on right now."

Derek raised his eyebrows in shock, "You are?"

Spencer rushed up to him, yanking the rope off of his boyfriend's wrists and pinning his arms to either side of his head, "Yes. Now, listen to me, honey bee. You are going to fuck me in this closet. And you're going to like it."

Derek breathed, "You are so hot when you get psychotic."

Spencer folded up his presentation on the chalkboard and placed it beside the BAU's given desk so that it could be revisited tomorrow. For now, they were headed to the hotels to turn in for the night. Making sure everything else was in it's rightful place one more time, Spencer left the office room alone as everyone was already in the vans waiting for him. Well... everyone but Prentiss.

She followed him down the hall as he'd closed the door and smirked, "You two think you're so clever, don't you?"

Spencer raised an eyebrow as they strode calmly, "Who two?"

"You and Morgan," she winked, "I totally cracked it. It was him you spent the night with, wasn't it?"

Spencer made a face and asked harshly, "Gross, Prentiss! You think I slept with Morgan?"

Prentiss scoffed, "Oh, don't act all innocent now. I saw the longing looks from across the plane..."

Spencer nodded, "Yeah, longing for him to shut his trap."

She continued, "The playful nudges..."

Spencer rubbed gently underneath his ribs, "I assure you that wasn't playful, and it was hardly a nudge. More like an outright assault."

Prentiss gave him a knowing smirk, "And your hair was sticking up when we came back to the office. You know, like you've been doing a little 'huh-huh' if you know what I mean."

"When isn't my hair sticking up? And what the heck is a 'huh-huh'?" he said, making a nauseated face, "I'd rather eat my own shoes than even think about touching him in anyway that wasn't... eww, Prentiss, just eww."

Her eyebrows pulled in, offering a confused expression, "So... you mean to tell me you and Morgan aren't..."

Spencer shuddered, saying on the spot, "No way! I would never! I can't believe you would say that. That's such an insult to Amy."

Prentiss paused, "A... Amy?"

Spencer lied, "Yeah, my girlfriend."

She sighed, "Oh, man, Reid. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine! It's fine! Just... try not to mention this strange theory to anyone who could repeat it," Spencer replied.

Prentiss nodded quickly, "I won't! God, I feel like such an idiot. I'm sorry for insulting you and your girlfriend."

Spencer nodded, "Yeah, it's cool. I'm over it. I'll never get that mental picture out of my head, but I'm over it."

"Well, I'd like to apologize personally if I could," she shrugged, "Can I meet her-"

"No!" Spencer said quickly.

Prentiss took a step back, "And why not?"

Spencer lied some more, "She left town today, that's why we kind of... you know. I didn't want her to go, but she had to and then she got this funny look in her eyes and she was touching me and we were all over that poor, poor cashmere couch-"

Prentiss stopped his flow of words, "I don't want to know."

Spencer glared, "Are you sure you don't want an extensive recalling of my sexual escapades with someone I'm in a private, committed relationship with? I mean, if I can help it, I don't want you thinking I've been sleeping with my coworker behind your back, because that's just nutty."

Prentiss raised her palms in surrender, "I'll never bring it up again, okay?"

"Okay."

Spencer lay beside Derek, the room dark except for the small glow of an unwatched television at the foot of the bed. The room had that heavy, muggy feeling to it as if it were filtered with breath and sweat. There were little remnants of chocolate streaks up Spencer's neck and Derek's right arm, but the two didn't feel they needed to attend to it just now. It was four minutes past two o'clock in the morning, and they'd just finished having a very wild, very naughty romp in the sheets. Spencer was getting used to this covert relationship, and if you asked him, he'd say he loved it. He loved Derek.

Derek sighed out, his chest heaving slightly, "Well, that was fun."

Spencer let out a breathy laugh, "Yeah, it was... quite the work out, I'll tell you that."

Derek chuckled, "Looks like I don't have to do my morning run."

Spencer looked over at him with disbelief, "You actually do that?"

"Yeah, it wakes me up," Derek replied.

Spencer blinked, "That's what coffee is for, honey bee."

Derek shrugged, "I personally like a little bit of both, but hey, to each his own."

Spencer gave a distracted stare across the room, "Speaking of 'to each his own', Emily thinks I have a girlfriend... named Amy."

Derek began to laugh, "You would fuck a girl named Amy."

Spencer asked, "Is that a compliment or..."

Derek waved off his question, "How did she come to that thesis, by the way? She tell you?"

"Well, no," Spencer sighed, "She'd figured us out and thought she could rub it in my face, so I pushed and pushed the fact that I was seeing a girl so that she would feel bad about presuming I'm the cheating type and back down."

Derek raised his eyebrows with curiosity, "Did she?"

Spencer nodded, "Oh, yeah."

Derek let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God. Prentiss is a stubborn person to contend to when she's sure of something, isn't she?"

Spencer replied, "Heck yeah, she is."

"Did you tell her what Amy looked like?"

Spencer shook his head, "Nope."

Derek leaned up on his arm and looked down at Spencer, "Why not?"

"I didn't want Garcia checking it out."

Derek nodded, "Clever."

Spencer's face broke out in a smile, "You think?"

Derek chuckled, "Yeah. I do think. You saved us, Spence. You're my hero. Get over here."

"Okay," Spencer replied, feeling Derek's large, warm hand lay gently on his chest before a soft kiss was pressed to his lips. He closed his eyes and let the feeling linger as he stated, "I don't think I'll ever get tired of this."

"Of what?" Derek asked.

Spencer glanced into Derek's eyes, "Kissing you."

Derek poked Spencer in the stomach teasingly, "I sure hope not. I don't want you walking out on me."

Spencer said back seriously, "I would never. What I'm most worried about these days is you walking out on me."

Derek gave Spencer a look, "... you don't actually think I would do that, do you?"

Spencer looked down at himself, "Well, yeah. I mean, come on. I talk too much, I'm too skinny, manners escape me sometimes, and I really don't know how to deal with people. Just to name a few reasons why it's plausible."

There was a pleasant crinkle to Derek's eye as he replied, "You're voice turns me on, your body is perfect, it's hilarious when you're rude, and I love dealing with you. Just to name a few reasons why it's not."

Spencer turned onto his belly and hugged a pillow, pushing his face into it as he mumbled, "You're obliged to say that, you're my boyfriend."

Derek said slyly, "You really shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?" Spencer muttered.

Derek whispered into his ear, "Turned around."

"What are you trying to do..." Spencer asked, growing worried as he felt a cold trickle down his spine and the closing of a cap, "Oh, God. What is that?"

There was a warm, wet feeling along his back as he felt Derek's tongue glide up his back, catching what he'd left there. Spencer let out a soundless breath as Derek's large hands grasped his hips and his tongue ran back down his back. But he didn't stop at the base of his spine. He kept going, and going, and going. Spencer's knees turned in and he felt his toes curl against the bed sheets. He's never been touched there before. Not by Derek's wet, probing tongue, anyway. Derek's hands pulled back and pushed apart his thighs as he buried his face into Spencer. The doctor was reduced to quivers in seconds, moans in minutes, until- "Augh! Ah! Oh, shit! Ah!" Derek's hands trailed up Spencer's thighs as he let out a dark chuckle. Spencer's hips fell back to the bed, colliding with the freshly soiled sheet as he eased into the pillow he had recently stopped clutching at.

"I've heard I'm good at that," Derek chuckled.

Spencer panted, running through aftershocks against the frail pillow, "Yeah, you're alright. It's not like you induced an orgasm or anything."

Derek laid down beside him, "Still coming down from that, huh?"

Spencer gasped, "Y-yeah."

"Then, I have done my job," Derek said with a broad smile on his face, leaning over the side of the bed to pull on a pair of pants and grab his shirt from the floor and press a kiss to Spencer's shoulder, "See you tomorrow."

Spencer waved a hand weakly, "Yeah... I'll... I'll see you tomorrow."

A/N: So... that happened. I guess I'll see all y'all next week!

-Bleep Blap Blue

Song Used (not mine): I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island