Chapter 2
The moon shone, silently whispering in her head, taunting her, telling her over and over again, wish whatever you want, but the truth will never be altered. She was sighing, tossing, turning, all in succession, slowly driving herself mad in a way that was utterly impossible to defend against. The tears in her eyes made the walls shimmer with a pearly sheen, obscuring clear vision and giving everything a watery feel, similar to the course of her life.
Every since Jace had told her he would just be her brother she had retreated inside of herself, hoping to be able to block those feelings that were pushed deep down inside of her in an attempt to keep her from revealing her true feelings not just to Jace but to everyone around them. Life had seemed to turn grey, colour draining out of it as if Jace was the vital supply of it and without whom she found no meaning to everyday actions, but despaired for something that would put everything back to normal, where she lived with her mother, Luke was over all the time and she had minimal contact with the shadow hunter world. She sighed, knowing this was impossible. Impossible because it was who she was, she was a shadow hunter; it was in her blood, the one thing she couldn't change no matter how desperately she wanted to. It was impossible because even if her mother never found out that she knew who she was and what she was, Clary could never forget, and didn't think that she could lie to her mom in such a way. It was also impossible because Clary knew that ever since the day that they met, there was no way that Jace would never be in her life, and she never wanted him to leave it.
When he had told her that he was going to refrain from any feelings that might not be brotherly Clary felt like she had been spat at, mocked by the gods, if there were any. If this is your idea of a joke this isn't funny, she said in her mind, unprepared for the answer that soon resounded in her head, making it feel as if she was a giant bell, her insides banging around inside of her so violently that she was surprised that she didn't throw up. Dear Clarissa, if only your mother had not taken you away from me, you wouldn't be in this situation, loving your brother in a way that isn't very angelic? The violent movement of fear in her stomach made her feel queasy, and the voice chuckled as it said, physically sick at the sound of me, tut tut, what are we going to do with you Clarissa? At least your brother has the decency to pretend I am just a figment of the imagination, rather than throw up like some disgusting Downworlder.
Rage boiled up inside of Clary, My best friend is a Downworlder! Had she had time to think about what she was doing Clary would have probably realised that she was having an argument with her father, inside her head, and the sheer ridiculousness of the situation would have astounded her. However in less than a second Valentine's reply rang in her head, To be fair, you didn't know what he would become when you met him, but you really should lose this one particular disgusting habit of yours, hanging around Downworlders that is.
This angered Clary further, igniting a flame of fury deep inside of her, and she was just about to let loose her thoughts on her father's suggestion/command, when she heard a tap on her window. She froze, the anger in her body being replaced by fear and adrenaline, and as she stepped over to the window, the source of the noise, she couldn't help but feel her breathing increase, it coming in short puffs of fear as she approached the window. It couldn't be Valentine, his approach is much more violent, she thought, trying to reassure herself.
She leaned over the window, expecting to see some type of demon, waiting to pounce on her, but was surprised to find someone entirely different standing outside her window.
"Jace?!" she exclaimed, astonished by the sight of him, having previously thought that he wanted almost nothing to do with her. His obvious avoidance of her did nothing to help the cause.
The subject of Jace's thoughts stood right in front of him, looking down on him as if she hadn't expected to see him, which, he realised, was a reasonable reaction.
They stood there, staring at each other, taking it all in, neither of them able to move, an invisible spell having been placed over them, which neither wanted to break. Finally, upon noticing Clary shivering because of the cold air blowing in through the open window Jace asked,
"Do you mind if I come in?"
To which Clary shook her head and indicated for him to go around to the front door, leaving him sweating outside, despite the cool air, as she slowly and thoughtfully unlocked the door. The door creaked open and she let Jace in, wondering what he could possibly be doing here in the middle of the night, all the while ignoring the sound of malicious chuckling that could be heard, deep inside her mind.