Chapter Twenty: I Did

A/N: Hey, you sweet, beautiful, little sons of bitches. I've missed you, so I'm going to do the whole two chapters/two days thing again since you seemed to like that so much.

This is why I'm such a good lover. I'm filled with surprises.

I mean, um

-Blue, Blue Nike Swoop.

"A loophole, are you serious?!" Derek cried out in the handicapped stall of the third floor bathroom that they'd rather liked using as a meeting place since they'd officially christened it several times. You know, to make sure they did it right.

Spencer gave a grin as Derek pulled him close in an overjoyed hug, "Yeah, I know, right. It's perfect."

Derek pushed back a little and stared Spencer in the eyes, "But you won't be BAU anymore. You'll be demoted. You'll get a pay cut."

"It won't be much of a financial difference. I'm paid more than you anyway, so when they slash my paycheck, I'll be pretty much receiving yours," Spencer replied casually.

Derek paused, "Wait…you get paid more than me?"

Spencer nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm a highly scouted specialist, so I'm given more for my help. Truth be told, they don't want me to leave and take my brain elsewhere. Same with Garcia, actually. Ask her how much she gets paid and it'll shock the shit out of you. Really."

Derek folded his arms, "They didn't tell me this."

Spencer chuckled, "Of course not. It's not something you publicize, paying members of the same team uneven amounts."

Derek pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Okay, whatever. We have to figure out how we're doing this."

Spencer cocked his head to the side, "Doing what?"

"Outing ourselves to the team, of course," Derek replied.

Spencer took a deep breath, "Oh. Yes. Of course. Well… we can't do it until I transfer, or else we can still be fired. Even then, we have to wait a little bit so that the transfer doesn't seem obviously planned."

Derek started, "But why—"

Spencer finished, "If anyone up above in the chain of command suspects we cheated the system for our own personal gain, we could be taken to court."

Derek closed his mouth, "Well, fuck."

Spencer shrugged, "Yeah."

Derek sighed, "Fine. We'll wait a few weeks. Then what?"

Spencer replied, "I don't know. Do you want to just…gather everyone and tell them?"

Derek shook his head, "No fucking way. We've got to go out with a bang. If you know what I mean."

Spencer narrowed his eyes at Derek, "That's just tacky… and kind of unsanitary now that I'm thinking about it."

"Please! We have to! I've even got a location: Prentiss's desk." Derek said with a large grin.

Spencer grimaced, "I am not having sex with you on Prentiss's desk!"

Derek clasped his hands together, "Well, I was just going to suggest mild making out, but sex is good. I can work with sex."

Spencer hissed , "Derek!"

Derek sighed, "Fine. What's your big idea, genius boy?"

Spencer pursed his lips, "It's going to be classy, work appropriate, and respectable."

Derek yawned as if he were bored already, "Alright. We'll talk."

Spencer lay on Derek's couch, his head resting on Derek's shoulder and his hand buried in the fur on top of Clooney's head. They had a very productive day. The two lovers had walked into Hotch's office earlier that afternoon with a proposition.

Spencer knocked lightly on the door and moments later, the two were let into the office. Hotch stood beside the door, holding it open for them as they walked in. He said gently, "Speak quickly if you don't mind. We're on a very tight schedule. There's a case planned for us to get to by late morning tomorrow."

As the door shut behind Hotch, Derek grabbed Spencer's hand and their fingers interlaced gently. Hotch had already noticed that there was something on their minds, and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. If his profiling skills have served him right, they've been in a sexual relationship for at least a month and a half now. As Hotch turned, he saw their clasped hands and raised an eyebrow, "Is there something you two need to tell me?"

Derek nodded, "I'm in love with Reid."

Spencer added, "And I'm in love with Morgan."

Derek continued, "We're going to enter a romantic relationship. We've talked about it at length and decided that it's what we want to do."

Spencer sustained, "We want to take advantage of my right to transfer, if that's alright with our section leader."

Hotch stared at them for one long moment before his face broke out in the first grin either agent had ever seen. Hotch began to laugh gently and he clasped his hands together, "Of course, it's alright with me. There's just some minor paperwork we need to attend to, and Reid will belong to the Bureau's Reflexive Help Unit in three days' time after we finish the case. We might… need our doctor back very soon as a permanent fixture in the office though, if that is alright with you."

Derek grinned, "That's awesome with me. Spencer?"

Spencer nodded, "I wouldn't want anything more."

"Then it's settled," Hotch remarked, reaching onto the top of his desk to retrieve a small manila folder and handing it to Spencer, "Welcome to the team, Dr. Reid. I'm sure it will be great to have you."

Clooney let out a contented keen and Spencer picked a peperoni off of his pizza, leaning his hand down to the dog's snout. The canine yipped and licked at Spencer's hand until the slice of meat was safely into his mouth. Spencer chuckled as the dog's tongue lapped at his hand and Derek looked down at the two with pure happiness. Spencer glanced up at Derek, "You know what? I think I can get used to this."

Derek asked, "What?"

Spencer smiled calmly, "You, me, the dog, pizza, a Thursday night. It's just so unbelievably domestic, and… I really like it."

Derek replied simply, "Me too."

The phone rang quietly and Spencer glanced back down at Clooney as Derek answered the phone. Checking to make sure Derek couldn't see, Spencer fed the dog his crust. Clooney gleefully swallowed it down and jumped up onto the couch to pin Spencer down and lick his face as a show of thanks. Spencer began to laugh loudly as the dog showed his sloppy affection and it was only then, he heard Derek say, "Oh, that? It's nothing, it's just a friend."

Spencer shrugged it off and continued playing with the dog as Derek spoke, "Yeah… I mean, I'm allowed to have friends over, right, Ma? I'm not twelve."

Spencer froze underneath the dog's friendly assault while Derek paused for her to speak and continued calmly, looking down at Spencer with a grin, "Aww, Ma, don't. The point is, I'm happy."

Clooney got impatient at lack of enthusiasm from Spencer and nipped at Spencer's collarbone as if asking for attention. Spencer patted noncommittally under his chin and listened as Derek replied to whatever she had said, "I really am, Ma. I'm so happy it's starting to weird people out. Please don't worry about me."

Derek paused to let her talk and then made a worried face, locking eyes with Spencer, "What's her name? Uh… what do you mean?"

She began to talk again and Derek laughed unconvincingly, "There's no girl, Ma."

Spencer sat up, Clooney setting his large rear down onto Spencer's lap as Derek began to speak again except with a little less finesse, "Seriously. No girl."

Derek sighed impatiently, "Ma, there is no girl! There was no girl! Hell, if things go well, there will never be a girl!"

The other end of the phone got loud with a woman's voice and Derek replied with a quiet, "Don't ask me what that means, Ma."

The other end didn't let up. Derek sighed, "Come on, now. I don't want to talk about it. Please let it go."

Derek paused for her again and he rubbed his temples, "Ma, fine. Since you know so much, tell me. Tell me what you think is so obvious."

She must have told him.

Derek's face lost color.

He didn't speak.

Her voice must have brought something back to him after a moment, because Derek covered the receiver, stood and turned to Spencer, "I'm gonna take this to another room, alright?"

Spencer replied quietly, "…alright."

Derek left the room quickly. With unease, Spencer looked after him. Shit. His mother knows he's gay. Holy hell, this night isn't going to end in smiles and sex. Spencer looked around Clooney's large, hairy back and the dog turned, sensing the unease in the room and whining softly. Spencer nodded, "I know, right. I'm dying to find out."

He stood and raced across the room into the kitchen, grabbing the spare phone off of the hook and listening into the conversation. Derek's mother hissed angrily, "Your father wouldn't have wanted this for you. He would have been very disappointed."

Derek replied, "I don't care. It's my life to live, not his. I don't know if you've noticed, Ma, but he's been dead for over thirty years."

She responded, "You've been my son for over thirty years as well. You don't think I've raised you better than to turn into some sort of… disgusting sexual deviant like Paul."

Derek growled, "Ma, forget Paul! He has nothing to do with this, okay? Just because he's sick, doesn't mean I am."

She whipped back, "And how do you think he got sick, huh? Frolicking around with men like the little fairy he was! That's how!"

Derek remarked, "No, he got it having unprotected sex with someone else who wasn't honest with him. Being gay doesn't give you AIDS. Being unsafe does."

She answered, "What makes you think you don't have it, huh?!"

Derek replied, "I've been tested, Ma. And I've only been with two men and I was safe with both."

His mom grimaced, "Well, how far and in between were those two? A day apart? Three?"

Derek hissed, "Try twenty five years."

She scoffed, "Oh, okay. Let's pretend I believe that. And who's your Prince Charming, huh? Some disease ridden, muscle-bound air head?"

Derek growled into the phone, "Don't you dare talk about him that way. You don't even know him."

His mom yelled, "I know he's a faggot!"

There was a faint sound like Derek punching his fist into something, "Don't you call him that! He makes me happy, and I swear to God, Ma, you are going to respect him if you respect no one else."

She replied, "I don't have to do anything. And you better watch your tone, boy, do you know who you're talking to?"

Derek took in a large breath before saying quietly, "As far as I'm concerned, I'm talking to a closed-minded homophobe."

She said noncommittally, "And as far as I'm concerned, if I hadn't made sure you had your father's last name instead of mine, I'd be asking for it back."

Derek whispered, "You don't mean that."

His mother sighed, "What makes you think I do, Derek, you've disappointed me so much. I still love you, we both know that, but I… I don't want anyone to know about this, do you understand? This is a new type of low for you, Derek, just… call me when it blows over."

Derek replied, "It won't."

She retorted, "Well, then, I guess you won't be calling me then."

Derek sighed, "I guess I won't."

His mother responded, "Good bye, Derek."

Derek paused and replied, "Good bye, Mom."

Spencer carefully put the phone back and raced back to the couch, deciding the most casual position would be to lay on his back with a slice of uneaten pizza in his hand. Derek slowly walked down the stairs, his jaw clenched and his forehead creased. Spencer forgot the pretense and jumped up from the seat, racing over to his shaken companion and pulling him in for a tight hug. Derek didn't ask. He didn't have to. He knew. Spencer whispered quietly to Derek that he was going to be okay, but he just stood there still and immovable like a wall made of concrete.

The day before the paperwork was complete, the team decided to throw Spencer a going away party at Rossi's place. It was quiet and simple. The music was classical. The girls were dressed up a tad more, the guys in ties. They were all buzzing around him, throwing light conversation around. It was common knowledge that Spencer would be permanently housed with the team, so there wouldn't be much of a change. He was pretty sure that they wanted an excuse to get drunk and party. Which they did. Even Hotch finished a glass of champagne! Once everyone was decently tipsy, they'd taken turns trying to cook the perfect pot of spaghetti since they'd failed horribly last time they tried. Prentiss joked that they must have been too sober the first time.

Derek, whom was very quiet lately, silently sat and sipped out of his glass of champagne. Worried about Derek's mental stability, Spencer has assigned himself what he calls "Derek-watch". He sleeps over, makes popcorn, puts on M*A*S*H, and makes sure Derek doesn't mope too much. Spencer's pretty sure that if he was in Derek's shoes, he would be a mess. And when Spencer says "mess", he means a rolling, drooling, crying mess. Spencer's mom was his life. For years. The hardest thing he ever had to do was commit her, and somehow she understood and never loved him less. He's always had her respect, and love, and support. But, if he lost it all because he'd confided in her that he was happy with Derek, that would ruin him just like it's ruining Derek.

The guy wasn't really acting all that different on the outside, so Spencer commends him for that automatically. But, after two months now of sharing a close, intimate space, Spencer could read the anguish in his eyes. And it was a struggle, really. He never said he wanted to take back his words. He never said he wanted his mom to change. He never said that he wanted to change himself. What Derek really wanted, above everything, was for it to be over. He didn't want to think about it, and Spencer accepted that. Sure, it would be hard and trying, but dammit if Derek didn't remind Spencer every day that he loved him more than he wanted to be angry with his mother. If Derek can do that for him, Spencer can do something in return: be there. He's read 56 journals, 132 articles, and 68 books since they'd gotten together and that was the biggest lesson he's learned after all of that biochemistry/physical studies crap. Being there was more important than anything.

So, Spencer watched as Derek sipped from his glass of white wine. He didn't say a word. His eyes were cast downward as Garcia walked toward him to engage in conversation.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Garcia began, "How's my BroTP?!"

Spencer raised an eyebrow, "What's a BroTP?"

Garcia sighed dismissively, "Don't worry your pretty little head. I just wanted to ask, you know, while I was here…" she dropped her voice to a whisper, "Did you leave the team because you want to tell the office about your little arrangement with Derry Bear-y?"

Derek paused, "Derry Bear-y?"

Spencer replied for the both of them, "Yes, that's why I left."

Garcia brightened, "That's so cute!"

Spencer chuckled, "We narrowly avoided getting fired, and put on trial for defying strongly enforced codes of conduct set by the Feds. Your definition of 'cute' worries me."

Garcia waved her hand in the air, "It always has and it always will. Now, which one of you fine bachelors would like to twirl me around the dance floor?"

Spencer offered, "I will."

"But…" she asked, "You always say no, and Derek always says, 'sure, sugar, would you like to twirl something else for me'? Is something wrong?"

Spencer set down his glass and grabbed her hand, pulling her gently toward the center of the living room floor and away from Derek before his boyfriend could say any more on the subject. She followed him hesitantly, but looked back at Derek with a worried expression on her face, whispering, "What's wrong with Black Beauty?"

Spencer began to sway gently, "It's not my place to say."

Garcia hissed, "If you don't say, I'm going to ask him. Do you really want that?"

Spencer shrugged, "You're his best friend; you can make those decisions for yourself."

Garcia huffed, "Why do I even talk to you?"

Spencer smiled pleasantly, "Because you hate me."

Garcia sighed, resting her head on Spencer's shoulder, "I wish I did, but I don't. I'm just worried about Morgan, you know? Usually, he's all spunky and flirty and sassy. He still is, but something is missing."

Spencer replied, "He said something he shouldn't have, and he needs time to be alright with the consequences."

Garcia gasped and stopped dancing, "He told his mom."

Spencer glanced back at Derek whose eyes were locked onto his before whispering back to Garcia, "I didn't tell you. You figured it out. He wants me to go over there, alright? Give us a second and then you can come back over if you like."

Striding across the agent infested floor, Spencer approached a worried faced Derek, "She knows."

Derek clutched his glass tightly before setting it down and walking quietly out of the room. Spencer followed him as he left. Through winding halls and open doors, Derek went, completely aware that Spencer was close behind. They'd been walking for a few minutes before Derek stopped and closed the door to a cramped pantry which ended up being the coat room. Derek whispered into the room, "I wish I stayed in here."

Spencer asked, "But you were never in here. This is the coat room."

Derek scoffed, "What else is it?"

Spencer replied, "A closet—oh, my God, Derek. No. Once you've left, you can't come back into the closet. The doors lock on the outside."

"I wish I never left," Derek sighed, "It's so safe, and quiet in here. Nobody bothers me. Nobody asks questions. Spencer… I don't think I want to tell the group just yet."

Spencer threw up his hands, "Half the team knows already! We might as well tell Prentiss and Rossi, since they're the only ignorant ones in the room."

Derek growled, "It's not just them, it's everyone! It's the whole damned FBI, Spencer! I don't think you understand how big a deal this is! We're going to be picked on, ridiculed, and ostracized from every agent in the Bureau! Man, this isn't high school, this is the big leagues! I don't think we're ready for this. Maybe you should rejoin the team and we can just… we can just… Spencer, don't make me say it."

Spencer yelled back, "Are you fucking kidding me?! You're considering throwing all we worked for away because you're scared of what your friends will say?! Last time I checked, we loved each other, and that doesn't just end because you don't want to get made fun of in the break room!"

"This isn't just the break room, this is going on a federal report! Maybe it's not worth all the shit we're going to go through! You ever thought of that?!"

Spencer raised his voice louder, trying to somehow get Derek's point out of his handsome, but thick skull, "Oh, so, you're saying I'm not worth it to you?!"

Derek raised his voice right back, "I'm not saying you're not worth it, I'm saying this thing we're doing isn't worth it! Dude, you just took a pay cut for me. You just got demoted. Do you really want to see how low we can go?!"

"We're not going anywhere, Derek! We're just telling the truth! We're just being happy!"

"Do we look happy to you?!"

"Yes!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"No, I'm not kidding you! I said we were, so we are and that's final!"

"Well, we're not! We're yelling! Do you hear this?!" Derek thundered, pounding on the wall beside him, "We're not happy!"

"I am!"

"Well, I'm not!"

"Since when?!"

"Since my Momma ripped me a new one and made me see the goddamn light, that's when!"

"Last I checked, you can't stop being happy because someone told you to!"

"Well, fuck all you know, Spencer, because I don't want to be 'happy' with you anymore!"

"But, I thought you loved me!"

"I did!"

The two got eerily quiet as Derek replied softly, "I did."

The door opened to a slightly tipsy JJ who was clearly looking for her coat. Derek took his chance to leave. Spencer outstretched his hand to Derek, "Wait, no, don't!"

By then, he was gone.

A/N: O_o I know. I suck. See you tomorrow.

- Shiny Blue Pikachu