Ch. 14

Yesterday had been draining. Seeing that picture of Zuko had been unnerving and brought up a lot of feelings and memories, both good and bad, made more painful by his recent betrayal. What she needed was a nice hot bath to clear her head. She was tired of thinking and feeling. The best way to be at peace was in her element. She discarded her clothes and put some clean ones on the small table outside the bathroom door adjacent to her room and carefully placed her mother's necklace next to it on the table top. She ran the water and she could hear the pipes rattle as the boiler clunked to life to heat her bath. When it was full, slowly she sunk into the water, letting it lap at her shoulders and she slid down the tub, fully immersing herself.

It took a long hour and the water to go cold before Katara felt relaxed again. She stood dripping, reaching for a towel to cover herself before bending away the water. She left the bathroom, standing behind the dressing screen she put on some clean clothes and when she shifted some of the dirty clothes, an elephant rat jumped out from where it had been rooting around. She withdrew her hand startled and they had a brief stare down, beady black eyes peering out of white patches of fur meeting blue eyes set in tan skin. Slowly she reached for her necklace again and the elephant rat lunged, taking the pendant in its mouth and bolting off the table, the ribbon flowing out either side of its mouth.

"Stop!" She shouted, pouncing. She dove for it, knocking the table clattering to the ground. She knocked the table a few more times and moved the dresser screeching across the floor in pursuit of her necklace. In the chaos she heard a knock on the door and Haru's voice.

"Katara? Are you alright in there?"

"Not really!" She panted, and the door opened. She looked at the elephant rat and watch it looking at the open door.

"Katara?"

"Shut the door!" She yelled, making another dive for the pest but it streaked past her and over Haru's foot and he jumped back startled. "It has my necklace!" She yelled as she went crashing out the door and chased it down the dim hallway headed for the stairs. It ran down them, Katara pounding after it with no other thoughts than retrieving her necklace.

"Wait for me!" Haru called as he ran back to his room and lit a lantern from the candle on his bedside table. Before chasing them down the stairs.

The rat had reached the very bottom of the stairs and ran down the hall until it found a door barely cracked halfway down and darted in. Katara ran after it, cornering it. It was real dark in the room, but she could make out the white circles around its beady eyes and the glint off the carved stone. She started to reach for it and startled, the elephant rat dropped the necklace and darted back out the door. Her breath escaped her and she closed her hand around the ribbon and pendant, feeling better until the ship rocked to the side and the door that had been ajar slammed shut, sealing her in utter darkness.

Suddenly it was all too familiar. She could imagine the bed springs squeak as an enormous weight lifted from them and a gruff voice calling out in satisfaction. The memory was so stark and real she screamed.

"Katara!" Haru yelled, bolting down the rest of the stairs and too the door he had heard the scream from. He hadn't known where she was until he had heard her shriek and truly worried, he whipped the door open. The lantern swung wildly from his grip, casting dancing shadows all over the room and he scanned it urgently until he found her huddled against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest and her arms over her head protectively.

He approached cautiously. "Katara?" It was soft, but she cringed into herself. He set the lantern down a few feet from them and carefully kneeled before her, hesitantly reaching a hand out. It had just barely brushed her arm and she let out a terrible broken sound, pulling away from him until she had scrambled into the corner. Her chest heaving as she pulled in short, desperate breaths, her eyes wide and swinging around the room.

"Katara…" Haru whispered, in the same exact place he had been when she had panicked, hand still raised and everything. He held his hand out, palm out, as if he were coaxing a skittish animal, trying to lure them into a sense of calm and safety.

"Katara…" He said again. "It's okay… It's just me, Haru." They were said gently, his eyes crinkled in concern. He scooted closer, and she sat, breathing slower, but eyes still wide in what seemed to be terror, but she didn't move from him. "I won't hurt you." He soothed as he moved closer again. He was close enough to touch one of her splayed hands, and he reached for it very slowly, keeping eye contact.

When he lightly touched her frigid fingers she seemed to return to herself. The tension in her flowed out and she slumped into herself. "Haru?" She asked in a daze and the next thing he knew she had flung herself at him, arms wrapped around her neck as she sobbed into his shoulder.

The earth bender froze at a total loss. A more primal part of his brain kicked in and he ran a calloused hand up and down on her back and the other hand went to cup the back of her head gently. He had never been good in situations like this, but after a few uncomfortable moments, he noticed the awkward splay of their bodies so he pulled her into his lap, hoping that wasn't too forward and shifted to lean against the cool wall in the dancing light of the flickering lantern. Unaware of how long this could take, he made himself comfortable, or at least as comfortable as he could with a crying woman in his lap. After a long time of rubbing her back and the shoulder of his shirt being fully soaked, the crying had seemed to stop, but she was shaking from the spent adrenaline. He gave it a bit longer and even the shaking stopped.

"Katara?" He breathed. It felt strange to break the silence. He watched her carefully and determined she was asleep. Ever so gently he shifted his position and stood. His legs were cramped from having sat in the same place for so long, but they quickly worked themselves out and he was glad for the constant training with heavy boulders because it made it easy to un-kink his muscles and carrying the water bender seemed easy in comparison.

When he made it to the main floor with the rooms he debated on which bed to put her in. It would be easier to keep an eye on her in his room, but she'd probably be more comfortable waking up in her own room. After a moment of debate, he shifted her weight to make his hand available to open the door to Katara's room. He laid her on the bed, pulled the blanket up and left the room. He was back shortly with a chair in one hand and his sketch journal in the other. He made himself comfortable in the corner, rocking the chair onto its back legs and propping his feet on the dresser so when he looked up from drawing, he could easily see how Katara was doing.

After a while, when the sun was starting to get lower in the sky through the little window, she began to stir. Haru watched out of the corner of his eye, still sketching as she rolled over and slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. She looked and saw him leaning back and he slowly tucked his pencil into the journal before closing it and setting it on the floor and lowered the chair to the ground.

"Hey."

"Hey." She said quietly, pushing the blanket off and leaning against the wall.

"Feel better?"

"Ya, I guess so."

"So… what was all that about?" He hadn't wanted to ask, but it was eating at him. What could have caused such an extreme reaction?

"Ugh…" She let out a long, tired sigh. "That's a long story." She said peering at him around her hair loopies.

He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head, getting comfortable again. He watched her quietly, waiting for her to continue.

She looked around the small room with its metal walls; she needed some open air where she could see and feel the ocean beat at the sides of the ship to soothe her nerves. "Can we go top side for this?"

He set his chair down again and nodded, stowing the journal in his shirt before standing and following her as she led the way up the stairs and onto the deck. She breathed deeply, letting the salty air fill her lungs and leaned against the railing. She stared at the briny water as it parted below the ship as it glided forward and Haru leaned next to her, waiting for her to stop stalling and enlighten him. She took a deep breath.

"This was back when I was lost and… Zuko," She stumbled around his name, "was holding me, at the time, prisoner. This is also the time I had lost my memory, so I didn't know who he was or that he was a fire bender. All that was left of my memory was my mother, my bending, and a deeply instilled hatred and fear of the fire nation."

Haru knew all this, but also knew it was important to the rest of her story and waited patiently.

"It all happened the day I caught him fire bending… it scared me and I ran. I ended up in the bottom of the ship and he was chasing me. I tried to hide and I finally found a door that was unlocked. I hid inside."

She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and the waves in front of the boat became a bit choppy, stirred by her strong emotions she was trying to confront. He wanted to give her some encouragement, a hand on her shoulder perhaps, but she seemed to find the courage on her own. She always did.

"I… I wasn't alone." It came in a choked whisper. "His name was Ichiru and he was huge." She shuddered at his exaggerated size in her nightmares. "I was locked in there with him. There was no water and I didn't know how to fight then. He… he…. Attacked me." She shivered in the warm air and wrapped her arms about herself, seeming to shrink in stature. The last was a distant whisper as she stared across the water. "I don't know what would have happened to me if Zuko hadn't shown up…" Tears welled in her eyes at the remembered horror.

Haru's stomach had knotted itself in rage and he clenched his hands into a fist, fingernails cutting into his palms. "Katara…" He tried to stifle the anger in his voice and she turned to him, remembering where she was and wiped tears hastily from her face with the backs of her hands. He started to reach out, but stopped and she noticed his hesitancy. She gave him a weak smile and gave him a hug, enjoying strong arms around her, even if the scent was pine and moss rather than wood smoke and rain. It felt good to feel safe and warm again, especially after recounting that particular memory.

He clasped her tightly, letting the feel of their embrace reassure him and let his anger flow away. It was nice to have her in his arms again, especially since the last time she hadn't exactly been conscious and she now returned the embrace willingly.

She parted from him and as soon as he felt her pull away, he quickly dropped his hands. She smiled at him tiredly. She had looked tired since he had first seen her again.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. I feel better now. Ichiru has been gone for a long time now."

He hesitated. "That's not what I meant…"

She quirked her head to the side. "What do you mean then?"

"Well…" He rubbed his hand against his shoulder self consciously. "You've been… quiet." She raised an eyebrow. "You seem tired and sad. I can see it in your eyes." She quickly looked away, turning to look at the waves again. "And you haven't been smiling like you used to." He said gently and pulled the journal from between the folds of his shirt. "You don't look like this anymore…" And he held the sketch before her. It was one with her eyes shining and she was laughing. She looked it over and turned, rubbing her arms as if suddenly chilled.

She stood quiet for a long time and Haru tucked the journal away again. "Are you alright?" He repeated. Still she stood silent. "I don't mean to pry, I'm just concerned."

The silence stretched uncomfortably. "I'll just leave you alone." He said after a bit and turned to walk away but she stopped him, a soft hand on his wrist.

He turned to find her staring at her narrow hand encircling his wrist. "You're right."

He looked at her feeling awkward. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Maybe it'll hurt less if I tell someone else." She murmured quietly, still looking at his hand.

"What is it?" He asked, using his free hand to rest upon her shoulder and she met his eyes for the first time. His practice at reading emotion in others allowed him to see the layers of hurt, betrayal and pain thick in her deep blue eyes.

She dropped his wrist and Haru dropped his other hand from her. Suddenly very weary, she leaned against the wall to the railing and slid down it and Haru silently joined her. "Zuko…" She paused, closing her eyes and willing no more tears to fall. "We were engaged."

Haru nodded solemnly despite her not paying attention to catch the motion. Word had traveled fast that the fire nation prince and southern water tribe princess were engaged and he had been surprised by the news. Sure, they liked each other, but to make such a leap, he had been sure the distance had put a strain on things. Secretly he had been displeased since he had found out. There was no soft spot in him for the banished prince, but he had kept quiet out of respect for his friend.

"He gave me a betrothal bracelet that was his mothers. He went to the South Pole and asked my father's permission." Her eyes were trained on her fidgeting hands now. "My father approved and Zuko went back to the fire nation again. Sokka had a meeting with the world's leaders and Zuko wasn't expecting me this time. We arrived, like usual and before these meetings, Zuko likes to relax in the gardens and whenever I'm there, I fetch him. I went into the gardens like usual when I saw it." She clasped her hands together tightly and they turned white from the exertion she forced on them to keep from tearing up again.

Haru brushed against her gently as he put his warm hand over hers and gave them a gentle squeeze of reassurance. She sighed gustily. "I usually sneak up on him because he's so lost in thought, so I was sticking to the tree line and I saw him standing with Mei. He was holding her so tenderly." Her voice broke on the word. He watched her carefully and saw her shift from telling a story to rationalizing and puzzling for what couldn't have been the first time. "He doesn't like to touch people. The only people he ever hugs is his Uncle and me… and he's ever only held me like that before. I couldn't understand it, and then they kissed…" She became dazed. "He kissed her." Her words hollow. The calloused hand covering hers flexed, squeezing hers subconsciously.

Haru's face was tight and his lips drawn into a hard line. He knew he had never liked Zuko. He wasn't trust worthy. Greedy fire nation, just like the rest of them. He had had everything and still wanted more. A small part of him was glad he had screwed up and proven Haru right, but he quickly squashed that with the anger he felt. Katara had saved his father and him, he owed her. She was a good person, no, an amazing woman and the last person who deserved to have her heart broken. He felt a new intensity to his hatred then. His loathing had become personal rather than speculative.

"I had to get out of there." She broke into his line of thought. "I couldn't stand to be there, so I left. I took Appa and went as far as I could. By the time I had calmed down, I recognized your village." She looked at him with beseeching eyes, begging for understanding and forgiveness. "I was just so tired and needed to forget. I also needed a reason. I had told the stable men that I had an important errand and needed Appa. I came up with the idea that you could be my excuse." Her eyes swam with emotion, trying to brim with tears again.

He was confused by the sudden pleading her tone had taken. "Please don't be angry. I didn't mean to use you like that. My village really could use your bending." She tried to explain and Haru let out a long breath he had just realized he had been holding. She was afraid he would be mad that she had used him to run away.

She looked so upset and the last thing she should have been doing was apologizing, so he slung and arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him for a side hug. "Hey, it's alright. I don't blame you; I'm glad I could help. He didn't deserve you."

She shrunk into him, lightly clinging to his shirt and his words, wanting to believe them. Wanting to believe it hadn't been something she had done to drive him to another woman. She didn't feel like she was enough.

"He didn't deserve you and I'm glad you came to me."

He was sincere and she could hear it in his words.

"You did nothing wrong." He soothed, picking exactly what she needed to hear. He had to choose carefully, for his own anger and prejudice probably wouldn't help. "You don't have to see him again. I won't let him hurt you anymore." Something between a hiccup and a sob left her and she clung tighter, burying her face into his shoulder as he tightened his grip. "You're an incredible woman Katara. Beautiful, strong and caring. He was crazy to forsake you like that."

She looked up at him. "Thank you."

He nodded and they slowly separated themselves as she regained control of her emotions.

"I still need your help." She said with a weak smile.

"I'll bend and build as much as you want and stay as long as you need."

She could find the subtle support in his words and nodded, feeling better.

Sarahplainntall here! Hope you liked it. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. They keep me motivated. =)

PS-My internet is on the fritz so it may take me a bit to update again.