Waiting an Eternity, Fate of an Emperor
He lied when he said he could wait until eternity for her love. Actually, he could, if it were for her, but now the court was growing restless and demanding for a child of royal blood to rule the country in the event of his demise.
He couldn't wait any more. As emperor, he was forced to marry and provide heirs much like his father did.
But he only wanted her.
Sometimes, he felt so blissful with her. At other times, he felt that even if he were so near to her, his heart would break at their proximity to each other, because he was so close - and yet so far.
He tried to ask his brother Seien - no, it was Seiran, now - about Shuurei. But Seiran declined. It was none of his business and he was no longer a cold, calculating child, much like he was before he met his younger brother and Shuurei.
It was at times like this he wish he wasn't the emperor. If he wasn't the emperor, Seien/Seiran would be the one being pressured to provide male heirs for the throne, and he could wait for Shuurei as long as she needed.
She felt herself too young. He knew she cared about him, but whether her feelings were as strong as his was a mystery. She'd never been taught to think about love secretly, but she was adept at hiding her feelings so that others would not be worried. Still he worried about her.
He loved her so much -
Hyo Ruka had said he would share the same fate as his father. He did not understand it then, but gradually did. Like his father, he fell in love with only one woman (in his father's case this love lasted for the whole of his life; he instinctively knew that was how he felt for Shuurei). However, his father had been forced to have many consorts for political reasons, and he could see what had happened. civil war, the most horrible war, that had tortured Shuurei's mind as a child, banished his brother Seien from the court and destroyed the country, crippling the economy, and it had still not yet recovered. He did not want that to happen to him. For one, he loved Shuurei too much, and he also didn't want the country to be ruined. Jyuusan was beautiful, to be sure, and she bore a striking resemblance to Shuurei. He supposed they could get along together, but his heart had only room for Shuurei. Never could he have a happy family with Jyuusan. He did not mean to insult her, but that was the truth.
He could not see himself loving anyone but Shuurei. He could not see anyone but Shuurei delivering his children, the would-be heirs to the throne. He could not see himself waking up in the morning to anyone's face but Shuurei - he loved her too much.
He did not want to meet his father's fate, but it seemed that his father's fate would be his.
He had to be strong and unselfish for the good of Saiunkoku.
But how could he, without her by his side?
Fin
Author's Note: First fanfic in this fandom. In case you couldn't tell, Ryuuki/Shuurei angst-romance. Tell me how you liked it!