Ch. 19

Back in Katara's room, her royal robes were waiting for her on her bed courtesy of Kima. The blue was rich and soft to the touch, stitched in deep blues and silvers. She left her hair down in its exquisite waves and beads. She checked her image in the mirror. Her lips were a bit swollen and she wiped at the wet tracks on her cheeks. But none of that compared to the inner turmoil her mind was cast into. Zuko had kissed her, and she had responded, but did she want to? She loved him and she wasn't sure if that was present of past tense; he had betrayed her after all. Or had he? He had said it was just a measure of comfort for an old friend and it had been one sided. But did it matter?

Not only was there Zuko to factor in, there was also Haru and all the other men out there ready to fight for her. She had shared many moments with Haru and he seemed to always be there for her. He was so different than Zuko. Where Zuko was fair skinned, Haru was lightly tanned, reserved and calm where Zuko was quick to anger. An artistic man, gentle soul, but so willing to fight when he had thought she was in trouble earlier. She couldn't deny there was something there. She tried to analyze those feelings, but every time she did, thoughts of Zuko intruded yet again. She wanted to get away, but there was no way to. Even if she could (like take Appa, for example), she had responsibilities here. Checking her reflection one last time she took a deep breath and prepared to trek to the banquet in the meeting hall.

She pushed the door open and peered into the bright full moon. It gave her an inner strength she knew she'd need for the upcoming meal ahead. When she entered, everyone was milling about, talking amongst themselves until they spotted her. Immediately she was surrounded by men praising her performance all talking over one another. It was all overwhelming but she smiled, nodded and thanked those around her. There was a parting of suitors moving towards her and she was relieved to see Toph shoving her way through the crowd.

"Come on you. Sokka won't shut up about how hungry he is and we can't get started without you." She gripped her hand and started shoving her way back through the crowd with Katara in tow.

"Thanks Toph." Katara leaned over and thanked her.

"Yeah yeah yeah…" She muttered dropping her hand when they had reached the front table where all the dignitaries would sit.

"Over here Katara!" Aang said waving from his seat at the table. She sat between Suki and Aang, Toph and Haru across from her and Sokka on the other side of Suki. Her stomach untwisted surrounded by friends until she looked up and saw the bruises starting to form on Haru's face.

She gave him a pained look. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He assured her with a tight smile.

She glanced down the table real quick and saw Zuko, his lip swollen and a dark spot forming on his chin and her stomach knotted instantly.

Hakoda mounted the stage and everyone started to settle into their seats. When everyone quieted down Hakoda greeted the audience once more. "I'm glad to see everyone again. I do hope you enjoyed my daughter's performance earlier." He was met with applause and a few cheers. "As you all know, tonight we celebrate the unification of my tribe and perhaps one of the other kingdoms. Tonight I invite you to indulge yourselves and enjoy, for tomorrow will be the tournament that decides it all. So tonight, take pleasure in this feast specially crafted for all of you."

Many of the village's women who had spent the entire day cooking set the steaming plates of food on the tables before all the guests. There was an assortment of dishes from all the nations, but quite a few southern water tribe foods. Katara put a few items from here and
there on her plate and poked at them without interest. Aang observed her odd behavior.

"Aren't you hungry Katara?"

"Oh, not really." She said and took a bite to avoid further suspicion.

"Really? You think you would have worked up an appetite after your performance." Suki added watching her with concern; glancing between the siblings on either side of her while Sokka stuffed his face.

"Guess I just lost my appetite is all." She said dismissively and drinking deeply from her cup.

"I imagine I'd lose my appetite if I had been pinned to a wall by Zuko too." Haru commented darkly.

"What?!" Sokka yelled and started choking on his food, Suki rubbing his back soothingly until the choking stopped.

"That explains why he's been staring at you all night." Toph stated. It was eerie how perceptive the blind girl was.

"It's nothing." Katara said blushing and trying desperately to side track the conversation.

"Haru, is that what happened to your face?" Aang asked.

"Yes. I walked in on him shoving her against the wall… forcing
himself on her." He spat venomously.

"It wasn't that bad." Katara said defensively. "He was trying to talk to me."

"Seems pretty hard to hold a conversation with his tongue down your throat."

"Haru!" She was shocked at his animosity. "It wasn't like that…"

"Sure looked like it to me." He glowered.

She stared down at her plate absolutely mortified. Sokka was muttering idle threats again; something about severing parts and putting them in orifices. Suki was trying to calm him down, Aang looked around their small group with concern, unsure of what to say or do and Toph observed silently, but not letting it interrupt her meal.

Haru heaved a heavy sigh and rubbed his bruised cheek tentatively. "I'm sorry Katara if I interrupted something. I thought you were in trouble and needed help."
She smiled weakly at him. "I kind of was." She admitted. "I'm just so confused right now… Thank you for the help Haru. I'm sorry you got hurt."

"It's not so bad. I imagine tomorrow will be worse."

Katara flinched at the realization. "Try not to get hurt okay?" Her eyes were so round and filled with worry he reached across the table and patted her hand.

"I'll be okay." He reassured her.

She nodded and resumed poking at her food.

"You should really eat something. You'll need your strength for tomorrow." Suki coaxed gently. Katara pouted but shoveled a few bites into her mouth.

The meal passed uncomfortably slow for Katara. She kept looking up and catching Haru's eye where they would share an awkward smile before looking down at her plate and prodding her food some more. Zuko was watching them angrily stabbing at his food as they shared quiet looks and smiles. He was simmering in his seat almost willing Haru to burst into flame.

"Zuko."

"What Uncle?" He snapped, not removing his glare from the earth bender.

"Did something happen after the performance?" He feigned ignorance.

"No." He snapped again, turning to glare at his plate instead.

Iroh nodded and sipped his tea, choosing to go along with his stubborn nephew. "Then maybe you should control your breathing. Your spoon is beginning to melt."

Stunned, Zuko looked at the glowing red metal in his hand that was starting to curl in on itself. He dropped it and let out a long breath, letting his eyes close. Feeling calmer he looked to Katara and caught her eye. He flashed her a knowing smirk thinking back at how she had responded to him. She blushed and quickly looked at her plate again. That made him feel a bit better and he continued eating, guiltily avoiding his spoon.

"Katara?" Suki said again.

"What?" She asked coming out of her daze.

"I said everyone's starting to leave. Ready to go back?"

"Yes." She was glad to be excused from pretending to eat and her thoughts. Nothing was any clearer. If anything, she felt more confused than before. She followed everyone back to the house and it was late so everyone was headed to bed. Katara, Suki and Toph settled in her room, eagerly welcoming the quiet darkness where they could all rest after a long day. Suki and Toph fell asleep as soon as they lay down, but Katara couldn't sleep. Her mind refused to let her rest as she wrestled with the possibility of Zuko or Haru.

"Sweetness, go to bed. Your pulse and fidgeting are driving me crazy." Toph snarled in the dark.

"Sorry." Deciding she wasn't going to be able to sleep, she climbed out of bed and was going to sit by the fire when she noticed flickering light filtering out from under Haru's door. She knocked on the door and poked her head in.

"Hey." He said softly, a warm smile coming over him. "Come in." He was sideways across his bed, his back against the wall, his shirt untied and hanging open revealing solid muscle.

She cast a look down at her own midnight blue nightgown, but she was so comfortable with him she went in and sat next to him on the bed.

"Couldn't sleep?" She shook her head and leaned over to see the sketch pad in his lap. "Me neither." He said with a sigh and tilted the journal until she could look at it.

"Let me see?" She said quietly reaching for it. As reluctant as ever, he handed it over. The sketch he had just been working on was of her. She was in her silks, performing on stage, the moonlight caught in her hair and glinting off the beads. She looked serene with the water swirling around her. She also looked stunning. She hadn't really gotten a good look at herself before stepping onto the stage, but she had heard the way Kima and Meena had been gushing. Haru had a way of capturing her at her best and it helped her nurse her wounded emotions. Curious to see what else he had been up to she started slowly turning the pages. There were sketches of the village with its brand new architecture and the villagers going on about their day. She smiled as she recognized several friendly faces. There was one where Katara was working on healing a young child, focusing all her attention on her efforts. She hadn't been aware Haru had been watching her.

She came across one in particular that made her pause, stomach twisting violently. Haru watched her reaction carefully as she examined the image of Zuko overbearing, angry and determined looming over her. It was when he had been asking for some time to talk to her alone. There were dark shadows across his face making him look more severe than usual. To her and Haru's credit, this time she didn't look meek or afraid. No, she looked mad; he wasn't going to intimidate her that time. But she was still glad for Haru's interference. She shut the journal with a sigh and handed it back.

He took it and placed it on his other side, still watching her face. She didn't want to talk about Zuko and something had just dawned on her.

"Why don't you ever draw yourself?" She asked looking at him shyly.

"There's no point." He shrugged and turned his attention to putting the sketch book on the floor.

"What do you mean?"

"Why would I want to draw myself? It'd be a waste. I like to draw interesting things. I'm not worthy of being captured in charcoal." The light that was usually present in his eyes was dimmed. Did he really think so little of himself?

"Haru, what are you talking about? Of course you're worthy. What would make you think otherwise?"

He shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "My best moments in life were always with you. I'm nothing without you, that's why I draw you so often. Everyone here… I'd rather see them and remember. If I draw myself, I'll just remember that nothing can get any better than those moments; the ones I spent with you."

"Haru…" She didn't know what to say to that.

He looked her straight in the eye, trying to make her understand. "I hate Zuko, but I draw him too, because at least he was able to do something I can't. Capture your heart." His expression turned pained. She put a comforting hand on his leg and he wrapped his large hand around it, pulling it to him. "I know you still care about him."

"Haru-"

"I know. I can see it in your eyes. You still love him and I just want you to be happy."

She could see him shutting down, telling himself he wasn't worthy of her and it killed her to watch. He let her hand go and was starting to turn from her.

"Haru!" She gripped his chin and pulled him back around, plastering a kiss on his mouth. He blinked in shock, sitting frozen beneath her lips. She angled her body towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in his hair. He wasn't Zuko, but that was good. She wanted to be happy too and Haru had accepted her the way she was, in pieces. He never questioned her motives, he just wanted to help. He was there for her; her confidant, her rock in rough times. She hadn't given him a fair chance; she was sure if she could finally let go of Zuko, Haru was the one that could make her happy. She poured all her hopes and feelings into that kiss, yearning for that carefree acceptance again. She hadn't been fair to him and she didn't expect him to return her feelings after all she had put him through, but she could hope.

It felt like forever, but it was mere seconds before strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her into his lap. One arm was around her waist, holding her close while the other ran through her hair until he cupped the base of her neck. She moaned lightly into his mouth, getting lost in the sensation and so happy any conflicting thought had been ripped away.

He pulled back panting slightly, his voice hoarse. "What was that?"

"I want to be happy with you." She said in a husky whisper.

"Really?" The eager hope alive in his eyes and tone.

"I can't be with him." She didn't need to say it, he already know who she was talking about.

"Are you sure?"

"You've always been there for me. I want to be there for you too." The earnest look in her deep blue eyes was all he needed.

"I love you." Was his throaty reply before reaching up to meet her again, pulling her onto his chest as he leaned back against the wall, her soft hands brushing his bare torso. They spent a long time in their embrace and when their lips were raw and they were out of breath they parted, Katara felt thoroughly spent and nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder, breathing in the scent of pine and moss; the earthy tones soothing her into sleep.

Haru was slowly stroking her hair, examining her sleeping form, finally feeling content for the first time in ages. Haru wanted to stay like this forever, but he knew the right thing to do would be to return her to her own bed. Careful to not jostle her too much, he scooped her up, her head lulling into his chest, a sleepy sigh escaping as he navigated the dark hall to her room. Conscious of the other sleeping girls, he paid special mind to keep his steps light and quiet. He laid her down, pulling the furs up around her and pressing a tender kiss on her temple before retreating to his room. He pulled out his sketchbook and started a new drawing; her snuggled into him so perfectly. He was determined. He would win that tournament tomorrow.

Sarahplainntall here. I know I know! Don't be mad! This still IS a Zutara, so don't worry. I think I'll wrap everything up in the next chapter. We'll see. Might even need an epilogue. Who knows? Review, comment, rant, etc. I enjoy all the feedback.