A/N

Holy 'effing crap guys...I love you all so much. You guys have fabulous ideas! no joke! I think my favorite one was from alicecullenlovegood - see if you can figure out which one it is! I'll put all my thanks at the bottom :)

Disclaimer: I totally shouldn't even claim this chapter! this was all you guys :)

Chapter 26

Deadly Questions

EMPOV

Once we were back into the stupid truck I was ready for round two. Jasper took over driving and Mike, Jacob, and I squeezed into the back seat.

"Well Emmett," Mike sneered my name. "I believe it is your turn..."

"Thank you for noticing," I said back in the same tone.

"Anytime,"

"Alright children," Jasper laughed from the front.

"Ok Mikey, Eva kissed a boi?" I said trying to hide a smile.

"Well you see, it depends on how you look at it..." Mike started to say blushing.

"Ok OK! I don't want to know," I shuddered.

"Fine moving onto your question," Mike huffed. "Let's say favorite food?"

"Pshh that's easy! Bear all the way," I said grinning.

I saw Edward warning me with his eyes, but I knew what I was doing.

"Excuse me? Bear?" Mike repeated me.

"Hell yes!"

"How do you eat it?" Mike asked raising his eyes.

"Well I prefer mine raw," I said, and then added at vampire speed, "And sometimes a nice lion on the side makes a full course meal!"

Everybody tried to cover their laughs, but failed and Mike just looked at us like we were crazy.

"Anyways..." Mike said still staring at us oddly.

"Ok ok," I said chuckling, "Does your mom lay out your clothes for you?"

"What?! Why would you think that?" Mike said avoiding eye contact.

"Oh so does she?" Jacob said bursting out in laughter again.

"Well-n-n-not really, I mean sometimes, but..." Mike stuttered.

I held up my hand, "Enough said bro we get the point,"

"So..." Jasper said grinning at Mike's embarrassment.

"Ok Emmett, so what is up with you being like so buff? Do you have an unhealthy obsession over looks?" Mike said glancing at my well-muscled arms.

"Hey now, don't be a hater be a lover," I said grinning and flexing my arms.

"W-what?!" Mike said looking at me crazily.

"Exactly," I responded nodding my head.

"Ok then..." Mike said shaking his head.

"You know you want some..." I added at vampire speed. Edward even let out a small laugh at that one.

"Emmett I believe-" Mike started to say, but I finished it for him.

"IT'S MY TURN!" I yelled jumping up in my seat, which resulted in shaking the car - not good.

"Emmett Paul!" Edward and Jasper both yelled at me.

"Sorry mom and dad," I said sarcastically.

"Ok back to you Mike...hmmm this one is intense do you think you can handle it?" I said raising my eyes at him.

"Psh bring it Cullen," He laughed in my face. Oh he asked for it.

"Do you believe that someday we'll be attacked by fairy leprechauns from Venus and our only hope will be the flying bicolered llama named Fred?" I said with a straight poker face.

Jasper stopped the car in the middle of the road.

"Edward where is the nearest therepy center?" He asked glancing towards me in the backseat.

"Edward your brother is a nut case..." Jacob said his jaw wide open.

"Hey I warned you it was intense!" I defended myself putting my hands in the air.

"Emmett..." Edward started, and finished at vampire speed "What the hell did you drink?"

"Just a few rabits, and a really ugly grizzly that might have had like rabies or something," I replied at the same speed.

"Anyways, I'm still waiting for your answer Mikey!" I said at human speed grinning.

"Umm sure?" He said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Awesome!" I yelled pumping my fist in the air.

"Just drive Jasper," Jacob said shaking his head.

"Ok so Emmett, back at you Do you believe in mythical creatures, vampires like dracula, werewolves like Harry Potter, and faires like Tinker Bell?" Mike said his eyes huge.

This brought so much laughter I thought I was going to pass out - which kinda was impossible.

"Duh! I mean who doesn't?" I stiffiled my laugh.

"Haha, well I mean they're not real or anything," Mike said rolling his eyes.

We all exchanged glances before continuing on.

"You keep believin' that buddy," Jacob said mockfully punching his shoulder.

"So Mike, boxers or briefs?" I said staring him down.

"Uhh..." He said glancing away from my stare.

"He's going commando!" Edward whispered vampire style.

"Smart guy, the girls dig it like that," I grinned back my mind flooding with images of Rosalie.

"EMMETT!" Edward yelled.

"Oh sorry bro," I said smiling.

"Well Mike?" Jasper said grinning.

"I prefer briefs," He said looking away again.

"Emmett, where's the craziest place you and Rosalie 'did it'?" Mike asked suddenly.

"Oh god," Edward whispered.

"The list is endless," Jasper added.

"Hmm, well," I said thinking. "I'd probably have to say that one place at Mcdonalds... do you remember that Eddie?"

"I try not to Emmett, but thanks for reminding me," He shuddered.

"Oh are you talking about the play area with the little balls that kids played in?" Jasper asked.

"Yes! that's the one!" I said happily.

"Oh my god you didn't not!" Mike sounded like a girl.

"Oh my god I did!" I said back in the same girlish tone.

"Wow..." Was all Jacob had to say.

"Hey now don't be a hater be a lover!" I said smiling.

"Guys are we there yet?" Mike started whining.

"I swear on all that is holy if you say that one more time I will deck you," Jacob threatened.

Just then the most deadly song came on the radio.

"Holy hell no!" Jasper yelled reaching for the controls.

"No! Keep it on!" Mike fought back.

The annoying voice came on then...

"Everybody makes mistakes... Everybody has those days... 1 2 3 4!
Everybody makes mistakes... Everybody has those days... Everybody knows what what I'm talkin' 'bout... Everybody gets that way..."

"We are not listening to this!" Jacob yelled covering his ears.

"Sometimes I'm in a jam
I've gotta make a plan
It might be crazy
I do it anyway
No way to know for sure
I'll figure out a cure
I'm patchin' up the holes
But then it overflows
If I'm not doin' to well
Why be so hard on my self?"

Mike was singing along. Oh my god.

"Somebody knock him out!" Edward yelled.

"Nobody's Perfect!
I gotta work it!
Again and again 'til I-"

Mike never got to finish it because I punched him and he was totally knocked out.

"Thank the lord almighty!" Jacob yelled uncovering his ears.

A/N

That's it for today folks! More ideas are welcomed please!

Thank you lovies!

alexbobalex

emmettsmyfave

emmy-and-jazz-rule

GBSM

symphonicbandrulz

Llamalicious Twi-Hards

alicecullenlovegood

EmilyMCullen

TwilightLover4Eva

Edward XD

Katie B 17

and everybody else who gave me ideas even if I didn't use them! I love ya'll!