A/N
Eiik! omg! THE FRICKIN' MOVIE! AHH! For those of you who haven't seen it yet...sweet Jesus your missing out! Also if you want to see sweet clips/pics from the movie go to my (link is on my profile) and check out the movie page! Lot's of amazing stuff on it!
Disclaimer: Just emmett :)
Chapter 29
Help Me!
APOV
Poor Jasper. Edward was planning something really evil, I could see it in his eyes.
"Let just get this over with..." Jasper mumbled. I really did feel bad for him...kinda.
I was bouncing up and down waiting for Edward to say the first dare.
"Ok Jasper see that union army outfit over there?" Edward said pointing at a rack of Halloween costumes.
"Unfortunately..." He said rolling his eyes.
"Go buy it and put it on," Edward said #1 on his list of 16.
This was going to be a long day.
A few minutes later Jasper came out of the bathroom totally dressed up like a soldier. Emmett and I both lost it.
"Oh my god bro, you look hot!" Emmett teased him.
"Shut up Emmett!" Jasper growled.
Emmett suddenly became depressed like. Haha that's my husband for you.
"Moving on," I said becoming impatient.
"Just think Jasper 1 down 15 more to go!" Bella said supporting him in a sarcastic way.
"Jee thanks Bella," He said glaring at her.
"Ok now see that old guy over there?" Edward pointed at a guy at the service desk.
"Edward..." Jasper warned.
"Go flirt with him," Edward finished grinning.
"No." Jasper said his eyes black.
"Ok well then I guess Jasper loses this game..." Emmett said sadly sarcastically.
"UGH! Alright!" Jasper groaned slowly dragging his feet towards the creepy old guy.
Everybody started silently laughing as Jasper started talking to the guy. We were just close enough that Bella could still hear them.
"Well hello there," Jasper said. And then added vampire speed, "Edward I'm going to kill you later..."
"Oh uh hello," the man said nervously. Wait. Was he gay?
"Edward?" I asked raising my eyes. He nodded.
Oh my gosh...
"Soo do you have plans for this fine evening?" Jasper asked trying to sound seductive.
"Edward he's gay I'm really going to kill you now..." He added at vampire speed.
"Well now I do..." The man said blushing.
"Ok that's it," Jasper was beyond mad now as he ditched the old guy and stormed over to us.
"Next!" He seethed as we were laughing so hard we were gasping for air we didn't need.
"Emmett?" Edward asked point towards the carts lined up along the wall.
"With pleasure," Emmett responded walking over and picking out the biggest cart he could find.
"Hop in Jasper," Edward said as Jasper looked like he was going to throw up.
"Emmett make a full lap around and meet us back here...and don't get kicked out!" Edward finished giving the third task.
"Alright here we go!" Emmett said loudly causing heads to turn and Jasper to hide his head.
We all laughed as Emmett started singing as he was pushing Jasper down the isles.
"Hi-ho Hi-ho it's off to work we go!" He sang off pitch and loudly.
"Wow," Was all Bella had to say before she broke up into a fit of giggles.
About 5 minutes past before Emmett and Jasper came around the corner - Emmett grinning and Jasper looking horrified.
"Edward please," He begged as he quickly got out of the cart and threw persuasion waves at Edward.
"Nope!" Edward said fighting off Jasper's power.
"Oo what's next?!" I said jumping up and down.
"Your favorite one Alice..." He said grinning.
"PINK!" I screamed scaring a lot of people.
"Yes,"
"NO!" Jasper yelled covering his face with his hands.
"Oh it's just a few hair ribbons Jasper, you'll survive!" Emmett said making Jasper even more angry.
"Ughh I hate you all...really I hate you all with a passion!" He yelled before quickly jogging over to the pink hair ribbons and tying one up in his hair. He tried to hide it with his long hair, but it didn't work to well.
"Ok perfect timing Jasper," Edward chuckled as Jasper was trembling in fear.
"See that intercom? Go sing twinkle twinkle little star over it before the workers come back," Edward said smiling.
"Edward!" He whined.
"You have five seconds before you forfeit!" Edward threatened back.
"I hate you," He muttered again and walked off.
Then he started singing. Before long we were all gasping for air and holding onto our knees for support. All to soon it was over.
"Happy now?" He growled glaring at Edward.
"Not quite, you still 11 more tasks to go!" Edward said happily.
"Noo," Jasper groaned.
"Edward?" I said showing him my plan through my mind.
"Perfect Alice," He agreed grinning like an idiot.
"Um guys?" Rosalie looked annoyed that we were leaving her out of the conversation.
I whispered my plan to Rosalie to quiet for Jasper to hear and she quickly broke out into a smile.
"Guys!" Bella whined mad that she was the only one who didn't know what was going on.
"Follow us Jasper," I said skipping down the isle towards the jackpot.
"Alice," He warned knowing how crazy I could be at times.
"You'll like this one Jasper I promise!" I reassured him.
"Ahh yes!" I said as we arrived at the correct isle.
"No, no way in hell am I buying those Alice!" He yelled.
Emmett and Bella were just staring in shock at the isle we were in.
Then Emmett snapped out of it, "Yeah buy it Jaz! I've always wanted to know what one of those things looked like!"
"Emmett why?" Rosalie asked looking scared at her mental husband.
"I'm a curious guy," He said brushing it off. "Come on Jasper just buy the stupid things!"
"I'M NOT BUYING TAMPONS!" He yelled so loudly that the manager came over to see what the commotion was about.
"Um sir is there a uh problem here?" He said sounding worried that we were fighting over buying tampons.
"Yes actually there is," Rosalie said taking control over the conversation.
"Rosalie!" Jasper hissed to quietly for the worker to hear.
"He is debating which brand to buy... what to you suggest?" She continued totally ignoring Jasper.
"Well, uh maybe the super? or um Playtex?" He stumbled over his words...poor guy.
"Why thank you!" Rosalie said picking up a box of Playtex super sport brand tampons and shoving them into Jasper's arms.
"I'm in hell," He whispered as we pushed him to the front of the store to buy the tampons.
After he bought them then he threw the box at Emmett. Emmett tore the box open and pulled one out.
"I don't get it!" He said trying to figure it out.
"That's a good thing now let's throw these away ok?" Rosalie said grimacing.
"But-"
He cut off when Rosalie glared at him.
"Fine." He glared.
"Ok Jasper, go up to that little couple and say I'm a little girl!" Edward said pointing at a young couple looking at Milk.
Jasper just glared and walked over to the unsuspecting couple.
"Excuse m'am," He said polietly.
"Yes?" She looked at him like he was crazy.
"I just wanted to tell you...that I'm a little girl," He said in a high pitch voice and then stomped off and back over to us.
The couple just stared at where Jasper was in shock.
"Now to top the whole girly thing off go put on that Hannah Montana wig to go along with your army costume," Edward said laughing.
"You guys are so dead..." Jasper whipsered as he snatched the wig and put it on.
"Oo! Eddie can I give one?!" Emmett said loudly.
"What is it?" Edward said thoughtfully.
"It's perfect!" I yelled seeing it in the future.
"Sounds great Emmett," Edward agreed grinning.
"Yes! Score for me! Haha losers," Emmett said grinning along.
"Just say it Emmett," Jasper growled. Oh yeah he was pissed. This is great.
"Go hide in that clothing rack and throw these bouncy balls at people and yell 'The British are comming!'" Emmett said handing Jasper a handful of bouncyballs.
"There's no point to this at all," He mumbled sneaking into the clothes.
Just then an old lady with walker slowly walked by and Jasper chucked all the bouncy balls at her screaming, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
But that wasn't the funniest part..the best part was when the lady stopped and threw her hands up in the air screaming, "THE BLOODY BRITISH ARE COMING!"
We all lost it and were rolling on the ground laughing.
"Ok I have to admit that was good," Jasper said grinning as we watched the lady run around some more.
"Now go put these condoms in that old man's cart," Bella said handing Jasper a box of extra large trojan condoms.
We all stared in shock at Bella. Nobody saw that coming...not even me. Then Emmett started cracking up again.
"Hahaha, good one Bella!" He laughed.
"Come on Jasper go do it!" Edward edged him on.
When the old man's back was turned he quickly ran over and threw the box into his cart and ran back.
"He's gonna be in for a shocker tonight!" I giggled seeing the man in the future.
"Let's just finish and leave ok?" Jasper said trying to get us out of there as quickly as possible.
"Ok I want you to get that squirt gun and fill it up with water and meet us over in the kids toys ok?" Edward said pointing at an isle of water toys.
"Got it," Jasper said glaring at Edward.
We all went over to the kid's toys and Edward pointed at a bright pink and purple barbie jeep for kids.
"Now get in ride around and squirt people!" Edward said grinning.
"Oh my god why?" Jasper said as Emmett forced him into the jeep.
"Just think the sooner you do it the sooner we can leave!" Rosalie said trying to get him to do it.
That got him moving. Pretty soon there was tire marks on the floor and one angry wet manager.
"That's it! You guys out of my store!" He yelled at us.
"With pleasure!" Jasper yelled running out of the store.
"But, but we never got to finish all 16!" I pouted.
"It's ok Alice, really it is," Jasper said relieved that we were finally out of the store.
"Now that wasn't that bad was it?" Edward chuckled.
"Oh just wait till you see what I have planned for your girlfriend Edward, you just wait..." He threatened.
A/N
Whoa long chapter! lol over 2,000 words people! Also in regards to reviews, as many of you know I like to respond to my reviews, however I don't have the time to do that any more, so I'm just going to give a BIG THANKS to all of my reviewers! I heart you all!
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Only a few more chapters guys...then it's over :(