The first week that Cordy returned to work, was to say the least awkward, between her and Angel. Cordy hid out in her office as much as she possibly could, avoiding Angel at all costs. Within the past year the hotel had been remolded so each employee of Angel Investigations had their own offices with the exception of Gunn and Justine who shared an office. If Cordy received a vision she told Wesley, not Angel about it. They had also come to an unspoken agreement that Catherine spent every other night with one of her parents. Thankfully, she seemed to adjust to this new arrangement with no problems.

--

"Ok, Connor, you need to go out and scope out the nest on High St." Angel instructed and Connor sighed loudly. "Problem son?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm tired of doing all of the staking." He snapped

"Connor you don't do all of the staking. Everyone does his or her own fair share. I hate to play this card but I'm going to do it anyway. I am your boss and employer. I expect you to show me respect."

"Like you respected Cordy when Buffy was here."

Before Angel could respond Cordy, who had been standing listening to this conversation unfold, grabbed Connor by the ear and drug him into her office, slamming the door behind her.

"Owww, Owww, Owww Cordy. What the hell?" Connor said as he rubbed his ear.

"Listen to me young man. You need to lay off of your father." She said angrily.

"Why should I, after what he did to you?"

"Because of what you just said. It happened to me not you. This doesn't concern you Connor. Now, back off and let your father and I handle this on our own. We don't need you interfering. "

"Cordy, you have been like a sister, maybe even like a mother to me. I love you and I hate him for hurting you like he did."

"What about if the roles were switched and I cheated on Angel? Would you treat me like you are treating him?"

"I don't know. Probably not." He mumbled.

"Double standard. That is why you should be minding your own business." Connor nodded. "Another reason that you need to fix this is because of Ciara."

"Ciara?"

"You know how sensitive she is. All of this tension between you and Angel is really bothering her. Your wedding is just a few weeks away. She doesn't need this added stress so you need to fix this, if not for you then fix it for Ciara."

"I'm sorry Cordy." He said as he walked slowly out of her office.

Cordy sat down in her chair and sighed. She looked up when Angel walked into her office.

"What did you say to him?"

"None of your damn business." She shot at him.

"Jesus, Cor how long are you going to be mad at me?"

"As long as I want to be. Now, please, exit my office."

"I'm so sorry." He whispered as he walked out of her office.

--

"Catherine, come on sweetie time to go to the park. Say bye to daddy and give him love." Catherine responded to her mother and ran over to Angel who picked her up.

"Where are you and mommy going?"

"Park. Swings." She answered happily

"Well you have fun and be a good girl for mommy."

"Good girl." She repeated

"I love you chipmunk." He said as he kissed her

"Wuv you daddy." Angel set her on the ground and she ran over to her mother and grabbed her hand. "Mon mommy. Go."

Angel was becoming increasingly frustrated with his life at this moment in time. He wished that he could walk out into the sun and see his daughter swinging or sliding down the slide. His friends were doing their best to be civil towards him, but he knew that they all were pissed at him and sympathized with Cordy, not that he could blame them. As Fred stated once, Cordy was the heart of Angel Investigations and now it was as if he tore the heart out of the company. She was trying to act like her old self, but she wasn't doing a good job. Her smile wasn't the same. He missed her big beautiful smile so much. Ciara had been avoiding him lately. She looked up to him and he let her down. And then there was Connor. his son. He could see the hatred in his face whenever he looked at him. He tried multiple times to talk to him, but Connor refused to listen. He had the responsibility to show him how to treat and respect the woman that you loved and with everything else right now in his life he screwed that up too. He would give anything in the world to turn back the time. If he could he would of never of lost her. He pulled out his sketchbook and looked sadly at his most recent sketch of Cordy. He heart ached.

"Dad?" Angel looked up and saw Connor standing in his doorway.

"What did you find at the nest?" Angel asked as he quickly closed his sketchbook.

"Small nest, nothing that we can't handle."

"Good job."

"Look…dad…I…" Connor began

"What is it son?"

"I…owe you an apology. I am sorry for the way that I have been treating you."

"You don't need to apologize. I deserved it."

"No, you didn't. Cordy made a valid point while talking with me today. What happened with you guys is just that. It happened between you two, not me. You didn't do anything to me. I just love Cordy so much that I wanted to punish you for hurting her."

"You can't punish me anymore than I have already punished myself. Every time that I see Cordy and Catherine walk out the front door, I hate myself even more."

"Dad…can you fix this?"

"I'm trying, but I don't think so. I screwed everything up so bad. She will never forgive me."

"You can't give up."

"Believe me I'm not." Connor strode over to his father and they both shared a manly hug.

"Oh one more thing dad." Connor said when they broke apart

"What's up?" Connor walked over and motioned out into the hall and Ciara walked in looking at the floor.

"Ciara, sweetie are you ok?" Angel asked. She looked up at Angel with tears streaming down her face.

"Angel, I'm so sorry. I have been treating you horribly."

"Hey, it's ok."

"No, it's not. I was torn. I love Cordy like a sister and she was angry and Connor was angry with you. I was afraid to take sides because I didn't want Connor to be angry or leave me if I was nice to you and I couldn't lose him."

"Ce, it's ok. I understand. I'm not angry with you. I could never be angry with you." Ciara threw herself into Angel's arms and he hugged her tightly.

"Thank you for not hating me." She mumbled into his shirt. Angel gently pulled her away so he could look her in the eye.

"Look, just for the record, in the future when you have an opinion on anything don't be afraid to share it. Everyone may not agree with it but none of us, especially Connor will ever push you away. You are stuck with us forever ok?" Connor nodded as his father spoke.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked shyly

"Anything."

"I know that Connor asked you to be his best man but I was wondering if you would be willing to have two jobs at the wedding?"

"Two jobs?"

"Would you walk me down the aisle? Since my brother isn't here to do it, I think that he would want it to be you." She asked softly

Tears filled Angel's eyes. "I would be honored Ciara."

After they left Angel thought how terrible that it must be for Ciara to be getting married with none of her family here with her. An idea slowly began to form in his brain.

--

By weeks end Cordy was conflicted. She wanted to be at work because she loved her job, she loved helping the helpless, but it was becoming very uncomfortable to be in the same working environment as her ex lover and ex best friend. She missed her lover but more importantly she missed her best friend. She knew that she couldn't forgive him for his failure as her boyfriend but he was always a great friend. She knew that something had to be done.

"Angel, we need to talk. I can't do this anymore." Cordy said as she walked into Angel's office, shut the door and sat down in front of his desk. He felt a surge of hope rise within his chest

"What can't you do anymore?" He asked softly.

"This, us. Avoiding talking about what happened between us. Being miserable."

"What?'

"I will never be able to forgive you for kissing Buffy and your lies. I gave you my trust and most importantly I gave you my heart. I fell in love with you. I gave you everything I had." She said with tears streaming down her face.

"You can't forgive me. Hell, I don't blame you. I can't forgive myself. I know that I have said this before and I know that it doesn't matter now, but baby I am so sorry that I hurt you." He also had tears running down his face. He hated seeing what he did to her.

"Do you know what hurts me the most?" Angel shook his head. "What hurts is knowing that you never loved me like you loved her. We could have made love without that damn potion because being with me would not have led to your moment of perfect happiness. That belongs only to Buffy."

"Cor, no that's not true."

"I don't know why it never occurred to me before that I would always come in second place in the game of loving you. Buffy is the undefeated champion that will always come in first place. I was just her replacement. And Angel, you know me, second place is unacceptable for me." She said softly

"You are right about one thing Cor, I love Buffy. She was my first true love. Most people assume that because I was with Darla for a hundred and fifty years that I loved her, but I was a vampire without a soul. I couldn't love anything but evil. After I got my soul, I stayed away from people for years. When I finally reconnected again with the human race I met Buffy and I fell in love, I turned evil and got sent to hell, returned from hell, left Sunnydale and came to LA to get over and forget Buffy."

"And how did that work out for you?"

"I will never forget her. Most people never forget their first love."

"I've heard that."

"Cor, we started off being friends, then best friends and it blossomed into love. When you fell in love with me you changed my life. You, not Buffy are my one true love. You and I have so much more than Buffy and I ever had. We were friends first and foremost and I think that's why our love was or is so strong. Cordelia, you are my soul. You are inside of me. You own my heart, my whole heart, the way no one ever has before. Believe me, we definitely needed that potion because you and only you are my perfect happiness." Cordy was silent for a moment, tears still flowing. Angel had really poured his heart out to her.

"Why did you keep your visits and phone calls to her from me?"

"The calls started after Catherine was born. You wanted me to call Willow and tell her the news and I did and Buffy happened to be there when I called and I talked to her. It felt good to talk to a friend so I kept calling her. I have no idea why I did, I just did and usually we just talked about Catherine. The visits started after one of our calls. She said that she had recently run into a rough group of vamps so I lied to you and said I was going to investigate something, I don't remember what exactly, and I drove to Sunnydale to make sure she was safe. She never knew that I was there and for some unknown reason, once a month I drove down to make sure things were ok." Talking about his screwups was harder then Angel ever imagined. He hated what this was doing to her but he knew that she needed to know. "I think that I didn't tell you because I didn't want to piss you off and ruin what we had or maybe I didn't want to see you doubt what we had, because I know that you would have. Baby, I have no good reason for not telling you."

"I know that Buffy kissed you first, but why did you kiss her back?" Cordy asked in a broken voice

Angel closed his eyes before answering. "When she kissed me I was shocked, I couldn't respond. When she broke the kiss, my hands were on her face and everything I used to feel for her came rushing back and without thinking I kissed her back, that's what you saw. But what you didn't see was within seconds; I realized that I was kissing the wrong woman. I pulled away and told her that it was a mistake and that you were the only woman that I ever want to kiss."

Cordy stood up and began to pace around the room still crying. She thought that her heart couldn't have hurt anymore but she was wrong. After hearing Angel's side of the story her heart broke all over again.

"Thank you for telling me everything and being honest with me." She said softly

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"I know you are. Angel, I hate what we have become and I worry that eventually my anger towards you may eventually affect Catherine."

"She's strong, like her mom."

"I don't want to fight with you anymore. I miss our friendship."

"So do I Cor, so do I."

"I want us to be friends again."

"I want that too." He whispered

"It may take awhile before things can get close to where we were because of this whole I don't trust you issue, but I'm willing to try."

"Do you think that we will ever get back to…us?"

"Friendship is all I'm willing to offer right now Angel."

"I'll take it." He said as he stood up, came around the desk and stood in front of her. "Can I hug you, just as a friend?'

Cordy nodded and allowed herself to be pulled into his arms. He hugged her tightly and she hugged him back. For both of them it felt so right to be back in each other's embrace.