Angel couldn't believe it. He was no longer in pain and his precious sister; Kathy was standing in front of him. But it couldn't be. She was dead. He killed her.
"Kathy is that you?" He whispered
"Hello, sweet Liam." Angel shook his head furiously.
"No, I'm not Liam. Liam is dead. I'm Angel."
"I know dear brother, you are my angel."
"Kathy, I'm not an angel. I'm evil." She nodded in agreement.
"I know that Liam but what I don't know is why? I trusted you. I adored my older brother. I did nothing but love you. Why did you kill me?" Angel had tears in his eyes.
"The only answer that I can give you is that I could kill you so I did. You never did anything wrong. You were the perfect sister. It was all about me. I'm so sorry Kathy. I know that isn't enough, but I am truly sorry. I won't ever be able to forgive myself, but I want you know that I am sorry."
"You can forgive yourself Liam, because I forgive you."
"Why? How can you?"
"Because dear brother, I know that it wasn't you. I know that a monster had infected you and you had no soul, and you had no control over your actions. You said as much to me when you said that you killed me just because you could. My brother Liam would never have done that. He would have been killed trying to save me. You have your soul now like Liam did. I know that you wouldn't kill me now so I forgive you."
"Thank you dear sweet Kathy." Angel said sobbing. He didn't deserve her love or forgiveness but she had given it to him.
"You have done wonderful things with your soul. I am so very proud of you. You have saved so many lives and you will save so many more, as will your children"
"You know about them?" She nodded her head.
"Connor and Catherine. You are a wonderful father. You should be very proud of yourself."
"We named her after you. She looks like you and her mother."
"I am glad you found love and children. Be safe my sweet brother." And with that Kathy disappeared.
"Kathy…come back." He yelled and instead of Kathy returning, his mother replaced her.
"Liam."
"What the hell is going on?" He yelled
"You shouldn't swear."
"Why are you here?"
"The Powers have sent me along with some of your other victims to help ease your guilt. Do you feel guilty son?"
"Yes mother I do."
"Why me?"
"Probably because you married him and never defended me to him."
"It was the way things were at that time Liam. Woman never questioned their husband's decisions or choices. We were responsible for keeping a clean home; clean clothes, and we were primarily responsible for raising girls. Men handled all of the discipline and the raising of boys. As much as I disagreed with how you treated you Liam, I couldn't do anything about it." Angel wondered why he never realized that before.
"My daughter's mother would not stand idly by and let me handle all of the discipline. It's fifty-fifty when it comes to raising her."
"Cordelia is a wonderful mother. Better than I was to you."
"Mother, you were the best that you could have been at the time. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have killed you. I was so angry with Father that I took your life because of it. Please forgive me Mother."
"I forgive you son." His mother disappeared.
Angel was so confused. He was back in his room for a minute, in excruciating pain. He saw a very concerned Cordelia through the slits of his barely opened eyes. Suddenly Cordy and the pain disappeared and his father replaced them.
"Father.'
"Liam."
"I have become a good man. I have saved many lives."
"More than you have taken?"
"No." Angel whispered softly.
"You were never the son that I wanted. You were such a disappointment Liam."
"Maybe I wouldn't have been if you tried to see who I really was. I'm a father now and I have never nor will I ever treat my children the way that you treated me. Whatever decision that they choose to make in their lives I will support them because I am their father and I love them unconditionally."
"That is such poppycock Liam. A true father makes decisions for his children to ensure they stay on the path of righteousness."
"That worked really well for you didn't it Father?"
"I didn't have much to work with." Angel sighed. Being dead for two hundred fifty years hadn't changed him a bit.
"I'm sorry for killing you. All I ever wanted from you is your approval and by killing you I never got that. I was just an angry guy with an incredible amount of power and strength so I killed you. I think I actually enjoyed the fact that I finally had the power of you, that you were afraid of me instead of the other way around. I'm sorry Father."
"I refuse to forgive you Liam. I know that your sister and mother gave you their forgiveness but they are weak souls."
"You made them that way with your domineering ways.'
"I did what had to be done. You still make me sick Liam." Even though it had been two hundred and fifty years, his father's words still stung.
"I'm sorry to hear that Father. I am sorry for my past sins and I am still repenting for them, but I know even if God himself invited me into heaven, it still won't be good enough for you. One thing that I have learned from you is how not to treat my children."
"Goodbye Liam." Hot tears stung Angel's eyes. He understood why his mother and sister had been sent to him but why his father? No one had ever made him feel bad about himself like his father did. He was a disappointment to him in life and in death. Some things will never change.
For the rest of the night Angel was visited by the many people he had killed and tortured, including the virgin gypsy whose family blessed him with his soul and Drusilla. Once he had received his soul he hated that he damned her to an eternity of mental torment. Of course she didn't forgive me because in her disturbed mind, he gave her a gift. By the time the sun rose, he had been granted forgiveness by nearly all of his victims.
--
Cordy sat curled up on the chair next to Angel. She had not gotten much sleep because of the hallucinations Angel had been having all night. She just dozed off when the moaning began again. She was immediately on her feet next to him.
"Angel, shhh it's OK." She whispered soothingly in his ear. Overnight he seemed to be doing better. He didn't appear to be in much pain, but she could tell he was really hurting again and she could feel the heat radiating from his burnt body. She ran to the bathroom for a cold rag and grabbed another bottle of whiskey on her way back to him. "Here you need to drink this."
"Blood?"
"No, whiskey. It will help with the pain." She pulled his head up.
"Don't… want… it." He gasped
"I don't care. You need it." She held the bottle up to his lips and he pushed it away.
"Need…to…suffer"
"That's ridiculous Angel. There is no need to be in pain. Now drink it." With all of the strength that he had in him, which wasn't a lot, he pushed the whiskey bottle to the floor. "God Dammit Angel." She snapped as she tried to salvage some of the whiskey.
"Don't…want…it" He was acting like their two-year-old child, clamping his lips shut, refusing to drink.
"Stop being such a stubborn ass and drink this." She yelled at him but he continued to refuse.
"Need…to …suffer…like…I…made…others…suffer."
"Angel, please. I don't want to see you like this."
"Need…too." He tried to sit up a little but it didn't work. He had his teeth clenched and was sweating profusely. He screamed in pain and fell into unconsciousness.
"You son of a bitch. Why must you be so damned stubborn?" She yelled at his unconscious form. She gently wiped his sweaty face as her tears flowed. She hated to see him in so much pain. She wished that she could take it all away from him. She was still wiping his face when Wes came into the room.
"How is he?" Wes asked softly
"He is a stubborn jackass."
"Excuse me?" Cordy looked at Wes with tears streaming down her face.
"He is refusing the whiskey for pain. He says that he wants to suffer like he made other people suffer."
"How did the night go?"
"He spent most of it hallucinating. He kept carrying on conversations with his parents and sister."
"Maybe that's why he feels the need to suffer through the pain. He feels guilty."
"Well it's stupid."
"Cordy, did you get any sleep last night?"
"Not really. Maybe a few minutes here or there between his hallucinations."
"You need to get some sleep."
"I can't. I need to stay with him."
"We can stay. You aren't alone. There is no need care for him by yourself. We can all take shifts."
"No, really, I'm fine. I can sleep now since he is unconscious."
"Where at? The chair. You won't be able to get a decent rest, then you will get sick and you won't be able to take of him. Now please Cordelia, go get some sleep." Wes said sternly.
"OK, but first I need to hug my girl. Is she here?"
"Fred is with her downstairs giving her breakfast."
"Was she good for you?"
"She was perfect."
"Good. Will you please come and get me if anything happens?"
"I will."
Cordy walked into the kitchen and stood there observing her daughter eating some fruit. She was thankful that Catherine was still too young to understand what was going on with Angel. Fred noticed her standing there and gave a wave. Catherine turned to see who her Aunt Fred was waving at. Her face lit up when she saw that is was her mom.
"Mommy!" Catherine came down from her chair and threw herself into Cordy's arms.
"Hey baby. Mommy missed you." Cordy was covering her face in kisses and holding her tightly.
"Miss mommy." Catherine said as she tried to break out of Cordy's tight grip. She then noticed the tears on her mother's cheeks. "Mommy cry?"
"It's Okay baby girl. Were you a good girl for Aunt Fred and Uncle Wes?" She asked her as she set her back down at the table.
"I good girl." And Fred nodded in agreement.
"What are you eating?"
"Nannas, apples, watmelon. Here. Share." Catherine said as she shoved an apple piece into Cordy's mouth. "Good mommy?"
"Good Catherine." At that moment Ciara and Connor walked in.
"Ner. Ara." Catherine squealed as she climbed out of her chair again and this time ran to her siblings who happily hugged her.
"How are your hands?" Cordy asked Connor who had managed to untangle himself from his sister.
"Hurts like hell." He replied
"Come on, let me re bandage them."
"How is…" Cordy cut him off by holding her finger to her lips. She didn't want Catherine to be reminded of Angel or the fact that she hasn't seen him because she would throw another fit. Once out of the kitchen and in Angel's office Connor broached the subject of Angel.
"How come you didn't want me asking about dad?"
"Catherine. She threw a royal fit yesterday when she couldn't see him and I didn't want that again today."
"So how is he then?" Connor asked as Cordy gently reapplied the burn cream to his hands.
"Same as yesterday."
"Can I see him?"
"Of course you can. I think he would like that. I just don't want Catherine to see him all burnt up. I'm afraid that it will scare her."
"Thanks Cor."
"For what?" She said as she finished wrapping his hands in clean gauze.
"For taking care of me and him. We are lucky to have you." Connor said as he hugged her.
"I'm the lucky one." Before the tears could fall again Catherine ran into the office with Gunn and Justine following behind her.
"I go park wif Uncle Gunn." Cordy mouthed a silent thank you.
"We thought that you could rest for awhile." Justine said
"Have fun baby and be a good girl." Catherine nodded happily.
"I good girl."
"Watch her. Make sure she doesn't eat the sand out of the sand box. She loves doing that and make sure she sits while coming down the slide. She loves to try and stand and-" Gunn cut her off.
"We have taken her to the park before. We have it under control."
"I know. After yesterday I'm just worried."
"We won't let anything happen to her."
"I love you Catherine."
"Love you mommy."
As Cordy collapsed, fully clothed on her bed and the exhaustion set in she couldn't help thinking what wonderful friends that she and Angel had. The way they all were pitching in to help with Angel and Catherine made her heart swell with happiness. Now the only thing that would make everything perfect would be Angel recovering. She knew he would but she also knew that it was going to be a long, painful journey.