Author's Note: Isabella Flanagan's hallucinations always were and always will be the property of Stephenie Meyer. Isabella Flanagan is the property of Bella Swan's hallucinations...therefore also the property of Stephenie Meyer.

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home

--Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel

I'd been standing naked in front of the mirror for about forty minutes now. That in itself wouldn't have been a problem; however, I was parading around shamelessly in a communal bathroom, talking about how hot my nubile little body was.

"Holy shit, look at my tits!" I freaking chirped at Lola the lesbian. Lola wasn't really a lesbian, she was just afraid of men and I liked alliteration. I cupped my little tits in my hands and marveled at how gravity hadn't yet ravaged the perky things. My normal body was a natural Double-D cup, but age and children were a bitch on the old rack.

"Bella, will you put some clothes on, already? You're creeping me out," Jessica complained, teasing her flat hair with a pick and some Aqua Net.

"Hey Jess, 1985 called-she wants her hairspray back."

"Fuck you, psycho! You weren't even born in 1985."

I was about to argue, but that was true; Bella Swan would have been born in 1991. It was also unwise to argue with a woman holding a bottle of Aqua Net. That shit was toxic!

"Who are you tarting yourself up for, anyway? Wanna look good for the electro-shock technician?"

"I'm not undergoing electro-convulsive therapy anymore. It screwed up my sense of smell," Jessica explained indignantly, and I couldn't help but howl in laughter.

"Fucking singed your nose hairs, did it? You're a crazy bitch!"

"Oh, I'm a crazy bitch? What about you, Mrs. Flanagan?"

"Shut up! I know who I am, it's not my fault that everyone else thinks I'm a fictional fucking character."

Now we were both laughing like the criminally insane, marching barefooted, breasted, and assed back to my room to raid Ms. Swan's pathetic closet.

"Jesus Christ, no wonder I'm being hospitalized. Look at all the fucking brown. This wardrobe is a cry for help!"

"I'm sorry Bella's clothes aren't to your liking, Mrs. Flanagan."

"Fuck, Jess. Stop calling me that! You're making me sound like that song from The Graduate. And here's to you, Mrs. Flanagan Jesus loves you more than you will know, woah woah woah." I was singing and grinding my hips in a sad little dance.

"I didn't know you could sing, Bell. You have a really pretty voice."

My jaw dropped and I stopped wiggling about.

"That's right..."

"Well, a little humility might be nice but-"

"No, Jess, don't you see? Bella Swan cannot sing. I, however, sing and play piano."

"Weird. You should mention it to Dr. Banner."

Yeah, maybe...but I wasn't going to.

"Is there a piano in the crazy house?" I spoke the thought aloud. Jessica shrugged, her eyes widening at something she saw outside my window.

"I thought we weren't allowed pets." Her eyes were glass, all reflection. I wasn't sure how to address the non-sequitur.

-({})-

I had a visitor! Well, Bella had a visitor. I was practically giddy when the White Coat came to tell me; it was trite, I knew, but I felt like I was about to meet someone famous like Alice or Jacob or Rosalie or...Charlie. Charlie?

"Hey, Dad."

He wrapped his arms around me and my heart broke for him. The raw panic in his eyes...it made me think of when my daughter's appendix burst, how helpless I felt when I surrendered her life over to the doctors. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. If she had died, if anything had happened...there just were no words.

"I'm going to be fine, Charlie. Please don't worry about me."

"Ah, Bells, I should have sent you back to your mom in Florida after he left."

"Nah, you were perfect. Mom wouldn't have been emotionally equipped to have handled me. You did the right thing sending me for treatment."

I transformed into the role of Bella Swan, dutiful daughter, easily enough out of compassion, from one parent to another. I comforted Charlie Swan, telling him everything he needed to hear so that he could sleep at night.

"Has Dr. Cullen come to see you?"

"Yeah, I think he was here a day or two ago."

"Has...Edward been by?" Charlie cringed, saying his name like he thought it might break me.

"Carlisle told him not to come," I said, truthfully enough.

He seemed pleased by this but then his face fell again. "I'm sorry, Bells. You must be really lonely in here. Billy wanted to come see you but I wasn't sure if you were ready for visitors."

"Billy...Black?"

The little gerbil in my brain started running, turning the wheel.

"Dad, I'd love to have some visitors. Please tell Billy to bring Jacob...if he doesn't mind."

"Actually, Jacob insisted on coming. He's in the car, but I told him I would have to clear his visit with you. Poor kid. He's really anxious to see you."

"Sweet!"

Author's Note: Please review me or I'll go fucking crazy!

Additional Note: Electro Convulsive Therapy can be an effective treatment for acute depression. Isabella Flanagan is one fucked-up bitch however she does not mean to offend.