Author's Note: Rated M for a reason. This smutty chapter is dedicated to aging-mom avid reader, Untraceable and Isabella Flanagan's sister Kati.
Fucking Edward Cullen. Fucking Bella Swan.
Both of those sad-ass bitches would pay for fucking with me.
-({})-
I was facing the window in the common room wishing I could remember how to smoke when I first sensed him.
"Hey Jacob, thanks for coming." Oh God and fuck! I promised myself I wouldn't mention the word "come" in any context to him and it was the first goddamn thing out of my mouth. Jake's dark skin flushed red.
I reached out my hand to him and he accepted it tentatively, lowering himself into the chair opposite me.
"I don't know how to properly explain myself, Jake. The way I treated you was unfair...and I'm not going to use my illness as an excuse. Suffice it to say that I'm not myself right now."
"I understand, Bells. I should have been able to control myself. Will you please forgive me for taking advantage of you like that? You know I would never hurt you, right?" Jake's eyes were glistening and haunted with bruised shadows. He's so innocent and vulnerable I could castrate myself for what I did. I pounded my head against the unbreakable glass window, safe in the knowledge that there surely was a special place in Hell for she-demons like me.
"Jake, you listen to me! You will not shoulder any blame for what I did to you.I did it to you. I took advantage of you, not the other way around. I'm a sick old girl and you're a young beautiful boy...this situation is so fucked up."
"Bella, I'm three times your size." He stood to emphasize his point and a gentle smile played upon his lips. "How could you have taken advantage of me?"
"Because you're too eager to please. Jake, it's very important that you grow a backbone with me or I'm apt to destroy you...I really don't want to, but it could happen. I could crush you without even thinking about it. Do you understand?"
He nodded but I could tell he wasn't taking my words to heart.
"So you'll be careful? I can't live with myself if I hurt you again. You must promise me or I'll have to insist that you leave."
His eyes became panicked. "Of course, Bella. I'll be very careful."
"Good. Kiss me, Jake?"
He practically leaped out of his chair and crouched down on his knees in front of me. his hands became fists in my hair as he pulled my face towards his roughly.
"Stop!"
He stopped, but did not let go of my hair and his face was so close to mine I could feel his breath expelling in pants against my mouth.
"That was a test, Jake," I explained and wrenched my head out of his hands. "You failed. I told you to grow some fucking cahoonas!"
He practically growled at me then. "Grow some fucking balls? What do you want from me Bella? One minute you're practically gagging to have me in your mouth and the next you're all contrite offering nothing but cryptic advice. You know what? I'm a big boy and I can take whatever you dish."
His impassioned speech filled me with want and suddenly, I was grabbing his hair in my eager fists.
"Do you still want me?" I asked, feeling very much out of character...vulnerable. His eyes softened and he expelled a soft sigh, pressing his forehead to mine.
"Always, Bella. I always want you."
-({})-
I couldn't face the shackles of my bedroom so I took him for a walk outside. The Powers that Be had granted me a one hour pass. We slipped outside through a utility exit and I was lulled into peaceful silence as we walked side-by-side through an empty field beyond a far parking lot. I took three steps for each of Jake's long strides, but I could tell he was moving as slowly as possible to accommodate my shorter legs and languid speed. Eventually, I found a secluded area behind an old portable that appealed to my purpose. I imagined it must have been a make-shift parking office before the new lot was built.
Before I could gather my nerve, Jake pushed my back against the wall of the office and hunched down to kiss me. Momentarily, I faltered, completely overcome by his passion, his eager mouth almost violent against mine. Very quickly, I caught up to his mood and pulled his hair into my hands to drag him closer even though there already wasn't an inch of light between us. But he knew what I wanted. He grabbed my legs and lifted me. My arms wrapped around his neck and I caught his hips between my thighs.
I felt him harden between my legs and the lustful bitch in my head started screaming for the cock. I tried to quiet her down by concentrating on Jake's beautiful eyes. I traced his cheekbones with my fingers and sighed...I felt, I don't know, strangely like I didn't have to try to be her. Like he'd accept me for who I was. I tested my theory out.
"So you know I'm fucked up right? I'm not the Bella Swan you love."
"Bullshit," he whispered tenderly into my earlobe and licked a trail down my neck. "You pull that multiple personality shit with me too, you know. Bella Swan appeared on the walk over here, don't you remember?"
I didn't so I shook my head with wide eyes.
"You're just two sides of the same coin. When you think you're Bella Swan, you act too vulnerable and timid. Bella Flanagan is the opposite, unbreakable and pushy. It's like you've polarized and separated. you're still you though."
I was so grateful. He'd made me feel so fucking awesome that I rubbed his cock over his jeans in gratitude and said "I love you, Jake." I even meant it in that moment. For the first time in as long as I could remember, someone has accepted me as I was. He wasn't waiting for me to wake up as Bella Swan, he'd accepted both of us.
"You don't have to say that, Bells. Everything I am is yours anyway."
We lay down on the grass and he allowed me to explore his massive torso with my fingers, lifting his shirt over his head. I kissed and licked his muscled chest and listened to his sweet moan. My kisses became more heated and he shuddered and grunted under my tongue. He was so hot...I mean, his temperature. Too hot. I wondered...
"Jake, you can tell me anything. You know that right?" I looked into his bruised eyes tenderly, at least, as tenderly as I was capable of.
"You know, even if it's not really your secret to tell. I'm crazy so if you want to confess something like, I don't know, maybe you morph into a giant dog at times...I won't judge you. I won't tell anyone your secret and even if I did no one would be believe me."
"How do you know about that!" he snapped darkly and pushed me away from him. The denial was heart wrenching. "Did your bloodsucker tell you? How does he even know?"
What the fuck? I was just trying to be sweet. And why did I feel like crying just because he pushed me away?
I tried to summon the hard ass bitch inside of me but she seemed to have gone for a latte. What remained was a hybrid of the Bellas and if he rejected me now I didn't think I could take it. I'd allowed myself to become too vulnerable.
"J-Jake," I stuttered, digging my fingers into my head to distract myself with pain. "Listen to me Jake, this sounds crazy and probably is...somehow I have the omniscient point of view all of the sudden. For example, I know that you are the rightful Alpha of the pack, not Sam."
"That's not true," he grumbled, still stunned.
"Leah's going to be a wolf too. Everyone will be shocked when it happens."
"No, women cannot phase."
"Don't be a sexist asshole! We can be doctors, lawyers and werewolves so don't make me get all Gloria Steinem on your ass."
He wasn't looking at me so I took off all of my clothes off as a gesture of goodwill.
"I love you, Jake. Look at me?"
Now I got his attention. He pushed me gently into the grass and wrapped his arms around me, warming my chilled skin.
"Make me feel something. Please?"
"Anything, Bella. I'll give you anything."
"Fuck me, Jake. I need to feel you inside of me. I need to feel something real."
"I don't have a condom, Bella."
"Then just don't come in me. I need to feel something so badly. Please Jake? If you don't fuck me I'll die."
He lowered his pants and boxers to his ankles and then kicked them off. Shit, I wish I had the foresight to have brought a blanket. I wrapped my legs around him and he pushed his hard-on into my pelvis, thrusting unconsciously while kissing me. My hips bucked upwards into him.
"I love you," he moaned into my mouth.
"I love you, Jake," I agreed. I was feeling very agreeable.
"Are you a virgin, Bells?"
How the fuck do I answer that question? I certainly was not, but if I was following canon, then surely the body I currently inhabited had an unbroken hymen.
"Yes...are you, Jake?"
"Yes, Bella. I'm going to go slow, okay? Please let me know if I'm hurting you."
He grabbed his cock in his fist and lined it up with my pussy, teasing my clit gently with his head. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I didn't even ask him for pussy words I was so far gone.
"Please?" I begged pathetically.
"Sshhh, Bells. I'm not being cruel, I'm just trying to get you wet so it won't hurt so much. Be patient, okay?"
"No," I growled and tried to force him into me but he was too strong and employing some sort of superhuman restraint.
"Sshhh," he repeated and kissed my breasts, gently sucking on my erect nipples. He allowed me to bare down slightly and the head of his cock gained entrance. I gasped and he groaned.
Oh fuck it feels incredible. I want more. Give me more. "Fuck me, Jake? Please...I can't take it."
His hands and lips were everywhere, touching and tasting every inch of me. I grunted and tried to push him into me further by digging my heels into his ass.
He looked into my eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Bella. This is going to hurt."
I cried out, my eyes widening in shock as he thrusts fully into me. It hurt...so much. I felt so alive. I wanted it to hurt more.
"Fuck me, Jake!"
"Hold on, Bella. You're bleeding. Does it hurt?"
"Yes. I want more."
He groaned and pushed himself back into me. It was fucking bliss. I smiled, gratified in the knowledge that I'd all but fucked up Bella and Edward's fairy tale ending. This was my story now.
Author's Note: Reviews are sweeter than a psychotic cherry pop. That kind of sounds like a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream flavour.