Okay so I've done research and cocaine can be smoked though it doesn't have the same type of effect if it was snorted, thanks for those that gave me information. So here is chapter 2 of My Sorry Life.

Sorry for any mistakes but, I was rushing through this and when I read it over it looked fine and still don't have a beta so, yea hope you enjoy.

Started: December 10, 2011

Bella's Pov.

Electric blue eyes stared back at me in the water reflection. My fury head was white with black spots and I didn't need to looked back through my seventh grade since class memory to figure out I was a mixer of a wolf and snow leopard or some sort. But really I just look liked one big wolf with white fur and black spots. I was much bigger than an average one though, much bigger about the same height as Leah. It was then that I took in that everything was crystal clear in new eyes. And I could grasp hold of every feeling I had since I woke up, and my memory was amazing. Sitting down my eyes followed the tail that was swishing back and forth behind me.

Being in this form was awesome and everything but I would love to be back in my human body, that's unless I was in this form permanently. Giving a huff I walked back to were my body had changed into the form I was in now. Finding my coat I smiled, this was one tough coat. Digging my nose around into the pockets my mouth was able to latch onto the plastic bag of Cocaine. Thank god for plastic bags! Setting the bag down I then went in search of my metal Altoids box. I found it near by a tree that looked like it had been hit by lightning. Grabbing the box in my mouth I sat it down next to the bag.

Suddenly I realized that it was no doubt Tuesday morning now, and determining by the slightly pink sky I would say that it was around three or four. Giving a huff again I tried to remember what Jacob had told me on how he always got back into his human body. Soon after multiple tries I was able to get back into my old body. Grabbing my coat I was pleased that it still fit, despite how much more muscular my body had gotten after the change. Grabbing the plastic bag, Altoids, and my iPod that now had a cracked screen, I made my way back to the car. Pleased with finding my keys not far from where I had found the Altoids.

I had expected to be the only one still at La Push but it seemed that I wasn't. Leah and Jake still sat by the fire that was only burning because there was no wind to blow it out. They sat quietly talking and I could tell I would only be interrupting them if I was to even walk by them. Turning to go on the back trail that would take me into a circle and back to my car, I was stopped by call, on my cell.

Flipping my phone open I took note of the caller ID, by now though I had caught the two love birds attention. So I walked their way to me car.

"Hello?" I asked my tone was dark, and cold. I saw Jacob, and Leah look at me with worry. Probably because they had never sent his side of me. This worried them, than they hadn't met me yet. A lot about me had changed over the years

"Meet us on Jackson street, by the CVS. You know what time." the voice on the other end said.

I sighed, "Okay, you just be there on time I know how you get." I murmured into the phone.

"Don't you worry baby cakes I'll be there." the voice on the other end said before the call ended.

Sighing I put my hands into my pockets and and tried not to let my rage and sorrow get to me at seeing Leah give Jacob a kiss. I was half way to the car when Leah caught up to me, I couldn't help but tense up. What could she possible want with me?

"Bella you think I could ride back with you, Jake's car is out of gas." she asked, and she hadn't seemed to notice that I now stood on pair with her.

I gave a small nod though I wasn't so sure I wanted to go through the heart ache of being so close to the girl I would never get. We walked the rest of the way to my car in silence, I opened the door for her before walking to my side of the car and getting in. Just before I stuck the key in the ignition Jacob walked up to the car. Him and Leah had a small chat and I gripped the wheel tightly to keep from strangling someone. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I looked out my window until finally they gave each other a kiss and an awkward hug.

I let a sigh out before I pulled the car into reverse and pulled got as fast as I could out of the reservation. Once we had hit public road I slowed down to a reasonable speed. Letting one hand keep control of the steering wheel I let the other tap nervously on the stick-shift gear knob. The ride was silent half way until finally Leah broke it.

"Where did you go off to." she sounded angry, and she looked angry too. But I don't understand why, she had never cared where I went before this, so why now.

"I just went on a long walk." I murmured, I didn't want to start a fight, not now and not with her. It wouldn't help my situation at all.

"Must have been some dam long walk cause you were gone the whole party." she hissed looking my in the eye, but I didn't meet hers. What is the cause of all this hatred towards me now.

"Would you get off my dam back, I'm not a little kid. If anything why where you with Jacob until morning?" I shot back, if she wanted to play with fire we would, but there's no doubt that she was only going to get burned.

She seemed at a lost of words for a moment, and her mouth hung open. I turned back to the road so we didn't crash. My jaw locked, and swore at myself for being so hard on Leah, she was probably just worried about me and I just went and made everything worse. "Who was it that called you."

Turning back to Leah my face twisted into a hot mess of confusion. Why would she want to know who was calling me. I added it back up to her just being worried. "It was nobody important."

Running up to my room I pulled on another pair of clothing before running back down to my car and hoping in and pulled out backing out again, and taking the short drive to the CVS. I sighed as I slammed the car do shut. Pulling out a cig I lit it and walked to the corner of the store. And then I began my wait.

Leah's Pov.

I watched shocked as Bella pulled out of the drive way, she had never been this cold. When had she changed, when had she grown up, and grown a pair. Shaking my head I pushed the thought out of my head, walking into our room I flopped down on my bed, though my eyes instantly wondered to her empty bed. Why did I suddenly care so much about what happened to her; after the battle her life had always been something none of us were allowed to intruded into. But I had never figured out why.

A yawn escaped my lips and I got under the covers, I would have to worry about her in the morning. I spent the whole day talking to Jake and my body could use the much needed rest.

Waking up I was surprised to find Bella in her bed sleeping, she usually wasn't at home or she was just coming home by now. Getting out my bed as quiet as I could I walked silently to the other girls bed. Staring down at her I couldn't help but notice that she looked so peaceful, and a small smile was on her face. Usually she had a scowl on her face, or her face was knitted into rage, but not once had I seen her smile the past few summers. I sat on the edge of her bed and let my fingers run through her hair, even in her sleep she flinched from my touch like it burned her.

She smelled of smoke as usually, but her skin was heated to the point it burned even my hands. And that's a lot coming from me a werewolf, we had over heated body temperatures. So if there was one thing I knew about was body heat. Pressing the back of my hand to her forehead I checked to see if she had a fever, but it seemed the exact opposite. Finally I took in her bulky body, it was muscular much more than mine. She was slightly less built then the guys, but she had that of a something between track athlete, and a basketball player.

Suddenly her arm was wrapped around my waist and I was pulled into her heated body, I gave a yelp but it didn't arise the woman from her sleep. My back was pulled into her chest and I knew my eyes had widen. I struggled to get out of the girls grip which only seemed to tighten as I fought, I wonder what she's dreaming about. Finally she flinched away from me, and I quickly took my chance and got out of the bed. Staring down at her I became much aware of my fast beating heart, and my flushed cheeks.

Why was I blushing, she was just acting out of reaction from her dreams. Beside I was attracted to Jake not Bella. I stared back down at her once I had gain control of my rising blood pressure. She was murmuring something and I had to strain my ears to hear what she was saying.

"Lea Mi dispiace, per favore, non farmi questo nuovo" she murmured. Her voice was small and seemed like that of a scared child's. I couldn't tell what language she was speaking but if I had to guess I would say French, she had been working on her degree in foreign languages.

"Yo puedo hacerlo mejor por favor, dame otra oportunidad." I silently wondered if she was talking to some girl or man in her dream because she sounded desperate, like she was trying to win something over.

I rushed out of the room not being able to handled Bella's desperate and pitiful voice. Walking into the kitchen I saw mom cleaning up a bit, and Charlie sat at in the living room drinking some beer. Seth was probably over at one of the guys house hanging out.

"Leah could you go wake Bella up, she'll be late for work." mom asked me. I was confused for a second before I remembered that Bella had gotten a job at some casino down in Seattle as a poker dealer.

"Why don't we just let her sleep in today, she's had a rough week." I said. Mom shook her head and gave me a look before dropping her rag in the sink and going to wake Bella up.

I was just being childish I told myself, but I couldn't risk going back in there. What if she grabbed me again but this time never let me go. I guess it would feel nice, being in her strong arms, and warm body. Maybe we could even- snap out of it Leah your in love with Jake. I mentally slapped myself and tried to distract myself by getting some breakfast. Jake wouldn't be coming over today so I couldn't rely on him to help me forget about her.

Bella's Pov.

Walking out of the employers locker room I walked to my assigned table, number 23, the casino I worked at was pretty fancy and well popular so I was well paid and tipped by people if I was lucky. My white dress shirt was nicely ironed and my butler like suit seemed to fit my well now after the phase, before it had hanged off my body a little. I waited for at least a few candlemarks before I lit one of my normal cigs and started to do some tricks with the cards.

Finally after two more candlemarks a group of people came, three girls, and four guys. They looked wealthy and I knew I could get probably get a pretty good tip out of them if I was on my best behavior. The men pulled up a stool for some of the women and themselves too.

"So Bella.. you have some very interesting eyes. I've never seen that shade of blue before." the woman I now knew as Carmon. She was probably the smartest person I would every meet. She had long blond hair with nice emerald green eyes, and a curvy body. From what I could tell she was married to David. A handsome man with bronze hair styled to looked much like with his slightly spiky hair, and grey eyes were like oceans.

"Yea, I get that a lot." I murmured. I saw Carmon cress out some wrinkles in her short red dress. They suddenly looked nervous. Beside them Lucy and Peter were talking in hushed whispers.

I shuffles the cards before I passed them out again. From the corner of my eyes though I never stopped looking at Lucy and Peter. Lucy was a short female almost like a pixie and had red hair like fire, her eyes though unique like mine were a electric blue. And then Peter was fairly tall, with auburn hair that was kind of long for a guy but was held back in a ponytail. His eyes were gold unlike his wife's.

Then on the far left side of the table was a lean man; I had quickly learned that his name was Demetrio. He had olive skin and from the accent I heard earlier he was no doubt Hispanic. His hair was dark brown, and he had hazel eyes. He wore a simple white suit with a purple tie. But then on the far right we had another couple, Julia and Mark. Julia was the second tallest female standing around 5'10 but not as tall as I was now, she had blond hair with a hot pink highlights in it, and grey eyes. She wore a simple black dress with black heels that went with the white dress shirt, and black slacks that Mark wore. Mark had brown hair and brown eyes.

They all went back to the game almost as if order to, and I suddenly felt nervous. Twisting the cigarette bud between my fingers a few I sighed and then but it down on the ash tray beside me. I tapped my hands on the polished wood of the poker table, I swore under my breath and wondered why I had applied for a job like this. Then I remembered that it was because it paid well, and it wouldn't take long before I had enough money for the parts I needed for the motorcycle I was working on. What was I doing, Leah was never going to accept me, she was far to in love with Jacob. Suddenly I felt anger course through my veins, this was his fault. If he wasn't so dam nice and a man of course I might have been able to be with the girl I loved.

I knew I was just being angry with myself, for falling so hard for someone I couldn't get. But I couldn't help it, it felt like I was slowly burning away the longer I was away from her touch. "You seem to be a little stressed out.. I would love to help if I can?" Lucy said. He voice held genuine concern for me.

I sighed was it really that noticeable. "Just some problems in paradise."

"Hm your man giving you a hard time." Carmon through laughs.

"It's a female and no actually, we're not even dating." I said, my eyes narrowed out of instinct and I couldn't help the small growl that slipped from my lips. Either they hadn't heard it or their just really good actors.

"I see, she's with another man." Mark said, hitting home. I turned my head and passed out the cards. My hand slipped into my pockets to keep from fidgeting to much.

"Get her time she'll come around sooner or later." Peter said a goofy smile on his face like he knew some kind of inside joke, beside him Lucy had let her hand rest on his bicep. They looked kind of familiar.

They all stood and I was surprised when they each handed me a twenty. Peter handed me a sheet of paper and upon looking at it; I saw a number on it as well as a house address. "Give us a call or drop by anytime for any reason." Peter said before walking away with his arms wrapped tightly around Lucy's waist.

It wasn't until on the drive back did I pull out one of my Cocaine filled cigs. Lighting it up I slammed the car door shut and went for a short walk in the woods. I went to my normal spot in the woods, and took a seat to do finish off a few smokes. My life was only getting worse by the day and this drug wasn't doing anything at all to help me forget. I knew that I was once again on the verge of death when I pulled out a needle, yea that's right it was Heroin. I've only done it a few times but it worked. I would only use it for today and then after that I would stop and find something less death risky not that it would matter now.

Injecting myself with the drug it had no real effects at first, before suddenly my world went dark. I knew for a fact though if I died today I wouldn't care and neither would anyone else. Life was to much and if this could lead me to peace then so be it, it was the drug talking. Before long I was passed out on the cold ground.

"Lea I'm sorry, please don't do this to me again' = Lea Mi dispiace, per favore, non farmi questo nuovo

'I can do better please give me another chance." = Yo puedo hacerlo mejor por favor, dame otra oportunidad.

If these are off it's because I got them from Google Translate. But review and tell me what you think of it