Okay, guys, thanks for being so patient! Here is Chapter Four! How exciting! This is now officially the longest fiction I've ever written, including my original works! Just one thing you should know with this chapter: there's a recess. I'm fairly confident in saying that high school around the world get them (even Courts do), but just in case you don't know, Recess is like a short lunch break before halfway between lunch and the beginning of the school day. Okay, end paranoia. Now.
I'm having a little trouble finding some songs for this fiction, so anything you feel that could somehow relate or be cohesive with the plot, please suggest in the reviews or via Private Message. I'm planning to incorporate Sam and Puck's past, hopefully giving some insight into why they act how they do (some may even relate to a little cannon, unless I've been lenient in my research). But that will probably be in later chapters.
Okay, I know I said I was struggling to find songs but bloody hell I just found three... so yeah...
JasonDragon64
Heheh, something like that ;D Thanks for the review!
Urkart, kaszz-chan, thefabwitch
Aw, you're all too kind! Thank you for reviewing!
Corey Foreside
I'm not quite sure what you mean by "spit game," but thanks for the review!
Now, onto the story! PS, you should all review, alert, and fav! Thanks to all those who already have, I love you !
Sam carefully balanced his pen between his fingers. He was in Biology, but had completely zoned out. He had been fighting the hunger pangs as best he could in the first half of the lesson, but he soon abandoned his learning attempts and sunk into the blissful rumbling his stomach was omitting. It felt as it was gnawing at his other organs, trying to leech some nutrients out of their vitality, but it felt synonymous with weight loss, and that was all that Sam cared about. He only hoped the noises weren't so loud his neighbours could hear him.
Usually he tried to eat healthy, but a new motivation had caused him to block off food completely.
"Not even Puck would want you now."
Just one dream, paired with the relentless jabs from his self-esteem, was enough to make him feel as though he should live with the circus under the alias of Obese Blonde Man. It was terrible, agonizing, and definitely not healthy. But Sam didn't care. He hadn't touched food since his dream, and that was eight hours and an early morning jog ago. His eyes were unfocused, and his head was resting heavily on his shoulder. Sam had even stopped appearing as though he was listening, choosing instead to concentrate on maintaining his breathing and keeping his thoughts off food.
Thankfully, Sam's unyielding torture was diminished with the reverberating sound of the Recess bell. Pulling all his books into his lacklustre hand, Sam walked out of the classroom. He began to slowly walk to his locker when he felt an arm slink around his bicep.
"Heyyyyyy," Puck drawled, his voice light and carefree. He steered Sam in a direction completely opposite of where he intended to go. "Come on, I need to show you something." He beckoned, looking up as the Choir Room came into view. With a grin, he pulled Sam inside and gently pushed him to a chair.
Sam fell with a small oomph, gripping his books uncomfortably. This was supposed to be his gym time. "I have to- I've gotta-" Sam began, standing from his seat.
Puck, who now had his guitar strapped gracefully over his shoulder, pointed it at Sam as a warning. "Sit. I wasn't asking." Sam gulped, and felt the muscles in his legs tense as he sat back down. Sam couldn't quite guess what Puck was doing, considering they were all alone in a locked Choir Room. Puck's dialogue towards Sam didn't seem friendly, but it was highly unlikely Sam would cop a bashing when Puck has his precious instrument in his arms. Sam listened to his heartbeat slow down, unaware that Puck was waiting for eye contact to start his plan. One large, audible throat clearing later and Sam was at Puck's full attention, nervously twisting his the pages of The Study of Biology with his hand.
"Okay," Puck exhaled, "the reason you're here is because I have to show you something. Well, I'll tell it as well, so it's a show-tell thing and-" Puck closed his eyes, realizing his redundant blabbering. He took a deep breath and tried decided to just get to the point. "I like you, Sam," he confessed bluntly. "And I know you like me. Whether it's because of my badassness or my sexy good looks, who knows? But you do like me, no matter how much you try to deny it." Sam shifted nervously in his seat, pointedly staring at the door. His knuckles were turning white and his recently calmed heartbeat was now rapidly increasing.
"But fear not!" Puck continued, "For the Puckster is here to tell you it's okay to like me, because the feeling's mutual. And if you're not comfortable with telling anyone, I don't care, and if you don't want to have sex, I'll convince you... again." Sam couldn't repress the smirk that usurped the control he had on his mouth. Puck was also simper over his last, implied to be teasing, few words.
After the affectionate gag, he continued again. "Okay, now shut up and listen. Me and Laura here are going to sing a song. It's for you." Sam's smirk remained on his lips as Pucks eyes twinkled in fondness. This intervention was turning out to be okay. Placing his books on the chair next to him, Sam let his hands lay comfortably in his lap as Puck began to strum unaccompanied chords on his guitar. Soon the deep instrumental was accompanied by Puck's dreamy vocals, his raspy voice adding a newfound quality to the coherent lyrics.
"This is the first day of my life, I swear I was born right in the doorway. I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed, they're spreading blankets on the beach.
"Yours is the first face that I saw, I think I was blind before I met you. Now I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been, but I know where I want to go."
Looking earnestly into Sam's big eyes, Puck was reminded of why chose this song. For two reasons: One, he made it sound absolutely smoky and tear jerking. And two, it was freakishly consistent with his interactions with Sam. Puck doesn't know who he is; he couldn't just simply stick a label and stick to it (Badass couldn't only explain so much). And he sure as hell doesn't know where he has been, or why he has been there, frolicking around with every willing girl under the sun. The only thing Puck knew, one hundred percent, was that he knew where he wanted to go. Well, he wanted to go anywhere really, as long as it was with Sam.
"...And so I thought I'd let you know, that these things take forever. I especially am slow, but I realize that I need you, and I wondered if I could come home."
It finally clicked to Sam what Puck's intentions were when he called him here. It wasn't to bash him with his guitar; it was to ask him out. He probably should have gathered that from Puck's speech earlier, but those lines of the song cleared his mind and helped him see. Puck knew these things took time, and he knows that he's slow. But he also sees that he needs Sam, and that he wants to be with him. It was nice, really. Everything Puck was doing screamed adoration: the stare, his stance, his voice. They all portrayed his feelings to a tee.
With a reminiscent smile, Puck continued.
"Remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the morning. And I thought it was strange you said everything changed, you felt as if you'd just woke up. And you said 'this is the first day of my life, I'm glad I didn't die before I met you. But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you, and I'd probably be happy'."
Sam was unable to repress the feeling as his insides became tingly at the memory. Their first romantic encounter; driving at midnight to find Puck, and the following events after that. The song recalled them perfectly. Sam drew in breath from his mouth, allowing his cheeks to puff under the pressure. He exhaled slowly, calming his nerves as he did so.
"So if you want to be with me, with these things there's no telling. We just have to wait and see, but I'd rather be working for a pay check, than waiting to win the lottery. Besides maybe this time is different, I mean I really think you like me."
Puck let his fingers recite the last chords of the song, echoing into silence before slinging his guitar over his shoulder. He looked pleased with his proposal, a smug expression on his face.
"So, what'd'ya think?" He asked, opening his arms to emphasise the question. "Wanna try being a couple?"
"Uhhhh..." Sam paused, trying to think of an answer. He knew what he wanted to say. ('Yes, duh, it's been my fantasy for months now!') But he couldn't say that. Not just yet. Puck did a convincing job saying that he would be loyal, trustworthy, and overall a great partner - but then again, so had someone else.
Are you stupid? Do you remember what happened last time? Are you seriously just going to walk into another relationship? That worked well, what with the resulting relocation and all...
"I..." Sam started, but he wasn't able to speak anymore after that: his conflicting desires were affecting his ability to speak. One half of him wanted desperately to say yes, while the other wanted to stay protected from McKinley's most reputable heartbreaker. They fought for control over his mouth, leaving him utterly speechless in the process. A slight tinge formed on Sam's cheeks as he realized his unmanageable muteness, and Puck formed a misguided concept.
"I get it, you need more time," Puck acknowledged, his voice an eerily depressing tone. It was very different to the smoothness of his singing. "Find me when your mind is made." Puck walked out of the Choir Room, his face shielded from Sam. It was lucky it was, because Puck's expression was wrung with worry and doubt.
If you happened to pass him in the halls, you would have thought Puck was his normal, badass self. Sly grin intact, the occasional dagger, and overall emanating confidence. Puck applauded his ability to appear collected in front of strangers. It is a lot harder to control in front of people causing the offending feelings, and it probably always will be, but as long as Puck could flee from them from time to time, all was well.
He dawdled into his Maths class, arriving late and with only a pencil, calculator, and graph pad (as usual). His teacher gave him the standard glare, but he shrugged it off and found his seat at the back of the room. The class was well into their lesson, and the only sounds were scribbles on paper and the clicking of calculators, but Puck was concentrated on other matters. Sam in particular.
Puck was absolutely certain that Sam liked him. After all, Kurt had clarified this. But then why did he say no to a date? Wasn't the traditional answer 'yes', if someone you liked asked you out? Then why, why did he say no? Unless... did Sam even like him in the first place?
They had slept together, and Puck thought that meant something, but he was reminded of all the meaningless sex he participated in over his life. Did Sam just think they were friends with benefits?
But Sam had told Kurt his feelings... did Sam lie about those too? Did he just humour Kurt, just so he didn't seem like a man whore? Puck anxiously plucked lashes from his eyes. It was always something he did when he was anxious. The numb twitch that followed proved to be soothing. Sam just needs more time to think. Calm yourself, Puckerman, he thought to himself. Take a nap, and then you'll feel more relaxed.
Walking into Glee Club, Sam did his best not to lose his footing as he plunked himself down onto a chair. His breathing was erratic and his eyesight was foggy from famine. Sam had considered eating, but every time he thought of the cafeteria food his unintentional mantra repeated inside his head, the mental image of him stuffing calories into his mouth making him gag. Instead, Sam endured a double lesson of Practical Fitness with water as his only sustenance. It was unbearable, but so was the thought of gaining unnecessary weight by giving into stupid cravings. He wasn't hungry.
Sam looked around the Choir Room: he hadn't noticed Tina and Rachel enter. That explained the slightly affronted looks on their faces, both pointedly ignoring Sam. They probably said hello and he was too famished to even hear it. What he did hear though, was a familiar greeting as Puck entered the room, optimism etched on his face. Suddenly, Sam felt his breathing become deeper, and though he needed to fill his lungs to the brim with air. His head began to throb painfully, and it hurt to blink. His vision became clouded as Puck walked in his direction, not noticing the girls' polite greetings.
"Hey man," he said, taking a seat next to Sam. Tina and Rachel seemed to get more offended as they realized they were being ignored again. "Have I given you enough time?"
Sam opened his mouth to reply, but he only let out a choked breath. He felt his stomach wring itself, as though trying to drain it of any residue to feed his organs. The pain caused the colours on the walls to drip, and the recognizable room soon turned in a hall of mirrors. Sam felt himself lose control of his body, and he sensed numbness as he slid down his chair. Puck's concerned face appeared above him, covering his line of sight. But Puck's hair soon grew, and his face changed back into the one of his tormenting ex boyfriend.
"Am I... skinny enough... now?" Sam managed to breath out the words before his vision faded to black.
"Sam? ...Sam!" Blind, Sam heard a shaky voice before he drifted into unconsciousness, falling off his chair and into someone's embrace.
Sam woke up, groggily propping himself up on an elbow. He's surrounded by trees, and he doesn't know why or how he came to be there. Waiting a few minutes for the dazed feeling to leave his bones, Sam stood up. He didn't feel hungry, which he thought was weird. He looked down. His clothes were clean. His hands had not one speck of dirt or green, even though he'd been lying in mud and grass.
At the sound of ruffling leaves, Sam turned around to see a particularly thin tree uproot itself. It soon formed, unsurprisingly, into Sebastian.
"How nice of you to come see me again," he grinned evilly.
"Fuck you," Sam said through gritted teeth.
"You tried, remember? That was hilarious..."
Sam lunged forward, trying to catch Sebastian's neck in his grip. He clasped his hands tightly, lifting Sebastian up off the ground.
"This is YOUR fault," Sam yelled to a rather composed Sebastian. Even though he was caught by the collar, Sebastian's expression remained smug and knowing, as though he still had the upper hand. "You're the reason this happens! It's all YOU!"
Sebastian cockily cleared his throat, before sliding out of Sam's hold with impossible ease. "Wrong." He stated, picking a piece of imaginary lint of his shoulder. "The reason this happens is because you're fat, ugly, and no-one could ever like y-"
"Sam? Can you hear me?"
A voice echoed throughout the forest. It was gentle and calming, yet magnified. As though someone was speaking through a microphone.
"-what was that?" Sebastian asked shrilly. It was the first time he looked uncertain ever since... ever.
"Well, I don't know if you can... but... you're skinny enough. You've always been skinny enough. It didn't even matter about how skinny you were."
Sam's gasped in realization at who was speaking. It was Puck. Sam narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, who gasped and seemed to shrink a little.
"I'll always think you look perfect. I'll always tell you. Even when you had messy hair and morning breath, you were still beautiful to me."
Puck's last words reverberated around Sam and Sebastian for a few seconds before it reduced to silence. Sebastian's eyes were full of panic as he tried to flee, but Sam put up a foreboding hand.
"STOP!" He yelled, and Sebastian was pulled back by an unknown force, kicking and screaming, until he was face to face with Sam. "It. Was. You." Sam barely breathed the words, but Sebastian nodded fervently with every word. "You're the cause of my problems." Sebastian shook his head, as if trying to convince Sam otherwise.
"No," he wheezed, "I'm not. I'm trying to help."
"Trying to help?" Sam scoffed, grabbing some of Sebastian's shirt with his fist. "Don't give me that shit."
"Seriously," Sebastian pleaded, trying to control the huffing in his breath. Once his breathing slowed to silent, Sam flexed his hand back, released Sebastian. He fell ass-first onto the ground, covering himself in dirt. Sam turned around, covering his small, haughty laugh with his hand.
"Ha!" Sebastian proclaimed, scurrying from his position on the floor to a sprint. He was distancing himself from Sam quickly, while Sam began to sing determinedly, a triumphant tone underlying his pitch.
"I smile, you say I take your breath away... You say you love me and you make, all the right promises to break ..."
Sam reached in the direction of Sebastian with an outstretched hand, causing an invisible wall to prevent him from escaping.
"And when I turn around you're always there, like that's the proof you really care... But I see right through you and I think to myself...
"You're just so predictable... In every way I, want you to know I know your game... It's so unbelievable, how you never change, you won't get away With loving me... You're just so predictable. "
Sam grinned as he watched Sebastian navigate backwards from the wall, only to find another placed parallel to the first. A conniving glint appeared in his eyes, and Sebastian seductively placed his hands on the undetectable screen. He waggled his finger invitingly, trying to coax Sam to come closer. Sam slowly trudged through the muddy floor, his shoes appearing clean each time they resurfaced from the grime. He made to the wall, and Sebastian greeted him with a wink. Inclining his head towards Sam, Sebastian puckered his lips and closed his eyes, attempting to lure a kiss from his captor. Instead, a large gust of wind blew, knocking a surprised Sebastian backwards several feet.
"You know just what to do, and how to use the best of you to try and change my mind... But my eyes are opening this time, and I read you...
"You're just so predictable in every way, I want you to know I know your game, how you never change, you won't get away."
Sam walked like a cat stalking a mouse caught in a trap. His stepped over each of his feet, hands behind his back until he reached his recovering enemy. Sebastian looked up in grief, and tried to run to his left, but found another wall. Bouncing off, he ran to the right, only to impact yet another barrier. Exhausted, he fell back into the bubbling mud, and he slowly began to sink.
"Now that I know your every move, How you gonna hide, baby, what you gonna do...
Now that somebody knows the truth about you and how you're just so..."
Sam walked through the unperceivable blockade to kneel beside Sebastian. He was half sunk into the mud, accepting defeat. He didn't even attempt to rise. He just laid still, eyes shaking in defeat. Smiling in victory, Sam finished his song, allowing his ex to fade from his subconscious.
"You're just so predictable in every way I, want you to know I know your game... It's so unbelievable, how you never change, you won't get away with loving me. You're just so predictable..."
Jumping into the air, Sam whooped in celebration and threw up fist. His landing caused the ground beneath him to shake, and it split apart, sucking Sam down into the white vacuum that was below.
Puck rose from the side of Sam's hospital bed, walking back to his chair seated next to the sterilized bedside table. He was rather shaken, having confessed his feelings in such an effeminate way. Saying how he felt was much easier when whoever was listening was unconscious. This method allowed Puck to still seem badass; only having feelings when no one was around to scrutinize them was really working for him. And considering Sam fainted when he was asked about his, Puck had deduced Sam probably didn't want a relationship.
It wasn't the first time Puck had been rejected. Countless times, countless women had denied him warmth he had so easily given them. But this was different. This was the first guy, and a guy Puck liked more than anyone else in the world. What made it worse is that Puck felt so confident that Sam would say yes. All the hints, and then he suddenly does a one-eighty and tries everything to make sure a relationship doesn't stem from the two. Puck shows compassion, he drives to the hospital even though he's advised to stay in school, sits by Sam's side, and he just hopes Sam won't faint again when he sees him.
Taking a deep, consoling breath, Puck began to sing softly. It was his way of soothing himself.
"You're not alone, together we stand, I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand. When it gets cold and it feels like the end, there's no place to go, you know I won't give in. No, I won't give in..."
Puck sang the words delicately, as if he might break them if he sang to loud. Sam was in need of help, and boyfriend or not, Puck had firmly decided he was going to help.
"Keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong, 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
"There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do, There's no other way when it comes to the truth. So keep holding on, 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through...
"So far away, I wish you were here, Before it's too late this could all disappear Before the door's closed and it comes to an end With you by my side I will fight and defend I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah..."
Puck dreamt Sam would just accept the feelings he had and get with him, but apparently Sam wasn't able to. So Puck wanted to stay with him until Sam took drastic actions of restraint in order to keep his emotions under control. Who knows, from the second he wakes up, Sam might not even want to see Puck, and everything they once had would be no more.
"Keep holding on, 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong, 'cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you. There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do, there's no other way when it comes to the truth. So keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through...
"Hear me when I say when I say, I believe, nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny. Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..."
But Puck secretly hoped something would arise out of whatever happens in the future. Even though at the current moment, things looked bad for the prospect of a Spuck relationship, Puck couldn't give up all hope. After all, it wouldn't be the first time people have changed their opinions of him.
"Keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong 'cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you..."
Puck was singing passionately, his eyes closed. If they were open, they would have noticed the fingers on one of Sam's hands twitch slightly.
"There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do, there's no other way when it comes to the truth..."
The twitch moved up to his arm, and Sam opened a droopy eye. His vision was immediately dazed, and he tried to blink the drowsiness away.
"...So keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through..."
Sam propped himself up on the headboard and shut his eyes, reminiscing at the sound of Puck's voice.
"Keep holding on, Keep holding on..."
Puck finished the song, opening his eyes once again. His relaxed appearance quickly converted to one of shock as soon as he realized Sam was staring back at him.
"Oh crap," he breathed, alarmed.
"That was... nice..." Sam said, playing with a drip that was injected into his arm. "...Am I in hospital?"
"Uh... yeah," Puck answered with a blush. He could feel the tension regarding his song, but he didn't address it. "You fainted in Glee Club. Mr. Schue called an ambulance and told us all to get back to work, but I didn't feel like it."
"So, do you know they've done to me?"
"Well, they said you're malnourished." Sam blinked at the word, as though he already knew it was coming. "And they fed you through a tube or something, I'm not sure."
"Oh," Sam replied airily. He would have been freaking out more if it wasn't for his epiphany (and the hospital's supply of whatever they were giving him).
"I just have to ask," Puck blurted, making Sam jump slightly. "I need to hear an answer. I know you fainted when I last asked you, and that probably means no, but... I still want to hear it. Please."
Sam looked at Puck's earnest look and sucked on his lips. He didn't even have to ask the question in which he had to answer. Puck looked vulnerable and weak, something he had never seen before. It was... weird. Not better or worse. Just weird.
"...Yes," Sam declared with a smile. Puck looked down at the floor, before looking up again in surprise.
"O- Wait, you said yes?" Puck asked in ecstatic awe. Sam shrugged, rubbing his shoulder.
"Sure... I mean, if you want to..."
"No, no- uh, I mean, yes! Duh..." Puck trailed off, staring into Sam's eyes. He returned the action, his irises gleaming with newfound hope and wonder.
First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes
Predictable by Delta Goodrem
Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne
It'd be best if you look up all these songs, because frankly I hate listening to the first one so I didn't do a good job of interpreting the lyrics. In fact, I hated it so much I didn't actually listen to the whole thing, but I imagine Puck's awesome voice would make it sound better (like it does with everything he sings).
Okay, that's done. Phew, took a while, I'm sorry, but a lot happened this chapter, and I really had to try and make it all sound construct and good... yeah, that didn't really work.
Any who, I hope everyone can understand the dream sequence. It sounded really cool in my head, it's just the transferral onto the computer that screws me over. And I kinda stopped it off there, but it's just like a commercial break in television... okay that made no sense.
And the next chapter might be even more late, because school starts again and I want to try do something with "Sam and Puck", which was my first fiction ever on !
Please review, comment, ask questions, whatever! You can even ask on my tumblr (find the link on my profile!)