After a restless night, I stayed in bed longer than I should have because by the time I was ready to spend the day with my mom, Lizzie, Edwin and Marti had already left for school.
"Morning mom," I plastered a forced smile on my face. I didn't want to worry her with any of my problems but still I was in a terrible predicament and I still didn't know what to do.
"Morning sleepyhead. It's a bit late for you isn't it?"
I nodded my head as I poured myself a glass of orange juice. "Bad night."
"Oh?" Mom raised her eyebrows. "You're not sick are you? Or is it work related?"
"No." I slumped down and put my head in my hands.
"Does it have to do with Dylan?"
I snapped my head back up. "How did you know that?"
She laughed. "It's a bit obvious. He was supposed to come with you and he's nowhere to be found." She motioned her hands around to prove her point.
"Oh. Yeah, he called and said he'll be here in a day or two. Got held up with the case."
"Yes, you told us that", mom said. She leaned over. "It's a bit early for pre-wedding jitters isn't it?"
"No it's not that. I mean, not all of it", I looked at her. For my whole life, I told my mom everything. I just didn't think she'd understand this but maybe she can help, if I leave out a few minor details. "I'm scared mom. I don't think I love him." I couldn't help it, I started to cry.
"Oh honey. It's okay. Sometimes, women, and men for that matter, get scared of lifelong commitments. Both times I got married, I was scared." She tried to shush me by hugging me and stroking my arms.
"No, that's not it." I stopped crying for a bit. "There's someone else." I couldn't look my mom in the eye, I didn't want to see the disgust that I knew would be there.
"Oh my." I heard my mom say, clearly shocked. She let go of me. The following minute of silence was too much to bear.
"I'm sorry mom. I know it's disgusting and wrong for me."
"No Casey. Don't think like that. I admit I am a little shocked, but I can't say I'm disappointed. Sometimes, you do things to make you happy and in the process, you forget about others. It's a bit selfish yes, but it is okay," mom paused yet again. "Do you love him? This other man?"
Oh god, if only she knew who it was, but I answered truthfully. "I don't know. When I'm with him, I feel as if everything is perfect, that everything is right, but in reality, being with him is completely wrong", I looked up into her eyes. "Mom, I don't know what to do."
She hugged me again. "Just do what feels right Case. Come on, let's go for a walk to clear your head."
After the walk, mom and I returned home feeling somewhat refreshed. We continued catching up, without the mention of touchy subjects. Again, we were seated in the kitchen when the front door blew open, with a storming Lizzie yelling.
"I can't believe you Edwin. You were being a complete jerk to Isaac. The least you could do was offer him a ride home, instead you grab me and race off." She flopped onto the couch.
"I told you the whole ride home Liz, I had to go and pick up Marti. You would rather take Isaac home than pick up your little sis?"
"You idiot, we could have picked up Marti then drop him off." Lizzie countered.
Edwin faltered. "Oh, well that didn't register with me at the moment."
Lizzie snorted. "Clearly."
Marti, who had quietly snuck in during their row, scampered into the kitchen. "Honestly, those two are worse than you and Derek sometimes." Mom and I laughed, but quickly stopped when we heard more shouting.
"Why don't you like him?" I mean he's a great…" Lizzie was cut off.
"Enough! I don't want to hear another hundred reasons why Isaac is a god." Edwin shouted, and then stormed upstairs.
"Edwin, come back here. I wasn't finished with you." Lizzie yelled, running after him.
The three of us in the kitchen just shook our heads. While grabbing the juice carton from the fridge, Marti asked mom if she could go over to Dimi's. That reminded me of something.
"Mom, do you know where Emily lives now? Or how I can reach her?" I asked, rather randomly. She stared at me blankly.
"I do," said Marti after chugging down some juice. "I have her number, sometimes Dimi goes over there to hide from Billie and Monica." She explained, seeing my questioning look and read out the number.
"Great," I said after tapping in Emily's number into my address book. "I'll go see her tonight if she's not busy."
After dinner and calling Emily, I found myself heading over to her place. I stopped at a cute little house, not overly done but not run down either. I rang the doorbell and less than a minute later, I was face to face with Trevor, my once upon a time crush. Apparently he got over his punk phase, still with black hair but no make up or heavy metal jewelry.
"Hi Trevor. It's so good to see you." I sad leaning over for a hug.
"Hi Casey. You look good. Come in, Em'll be down in a minute. She's freshening up," he replied.
"Casey!" Emily screamed from the top of the stairs. She was partially obscured by the ceiling, but when she came down I got the shock of my life. Emily was gorgeous, she straightened her hair and was glowing. But the biggest surprise was her slight bump where her flat stomach used to be.
"Oh my God Emily." I practically screamed. We hugged as soon as she came down the stairs. "When?" I asked still clearly shocked.
She went and stood beside Trevor to hug him. "The doctor says in about 3 months time." She was smiling happily, cuddled up at Trevor's side
"Wow", I was smiling too, grinning actually. "So", I gestured between the two, "are you hitched?"
The both laughed. Trevor answered as we moved toward the living room. "Not yet, we're waiting until the baby comes."
"It'll be nothing big. Just a small gathering of family and close friends. No bridesmaids or groomsmen." Emily cut in, clearly exited for the big day.
I smiled. 'Am I invited?" I asked jokingly.
"Of course you are. As if I would have it any other way. In fact, I knew you were coming back for this visit, so I decided to now will be the perfect time to plan what dress I'm going to wear!" Emily practically squealed.
Trevor laughed again. "Okay, I'm getting out of here before it gets too…'preppy' for me. I'll see you later, 'kay Em? See you around Casey."
Trevor's sudden leaving baffled me.
"He has band rehearsal to get to. In fact, he was suppose to be there 15 minutes ago, but he wanted to see you again." Emily said, explaining her fiancé's exit.
"Oh, so he's still an artist?" I asked after clarification.
"Um hm, as a side job. During the day he's an apprentice to becoming a solicitor. And when we have the time, we volunteer at the rehab centre, we help kids who have been in accidents such as car crashes. As for myself, I'm a school teacher. Third grade." Emily finished explaining their occupations.
"Wow Em, you sound and look so happy." I stated.
"I am. Trevor's a good find. Better than Sheldon anyhow." She shook her head. "Don't ask. So what about you?" I heard you're an accountant and getting married? Way to keep me out of the loop."
"I'm sorry. It's just…you know, I really don't have an excuse. It's my fault I kept everyone out of the loop. I guess leaving town has changed me. I mean while I was living in Toronto, I was always on the go and I came here and life slowed down. I didn't have many friends as you know and when I moved to New York, everything was fast pace again. More friends, more events. I was living my life like I was in Toronto again. I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch. I'm a horrible friend." I smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah you are," Emily said making me feel worse. "But", she continued, "to make it up to me, I want you to be godmother to my child." She said, cracking a grin.
"Oh my god Em! Are you serious?" I said completely shocked. "Are you sure? I mean, isn't there anybody else?"
"You mean do I have anymore friends besides you?" she laughed. "Of course I do, but you were my best friend in high school and besides, Trevor refuses to have any of my girlfriends now to be the godmother. He says that they 'way past preppy' and he couldn't have any of that."
I laughed along with her. I still couldn't believe that I was going to be a godmother. I was definitely going to spoil him/her with tons of presents.
After my exciting visit with Emily, I drove home in a completely good mood. I absolutely forgot about my dilemma with Derek and Dylan. As I drove into the driveway, I recognized Derek's car, I smiled, he was staying the night.
I ran towards the door as soon as I stepped out of the car and before I even got there, the door opened.
"Derek." I smiled happily, but my smile dropped when I saw that he wasn't. "What's wrong?"
"Hey Case." He nodded his head to beckon me into the house.
Variations of greetings came my way from my family. All happily.
"Hello Casey." A voice so foreign yet recognizable greeted me as well.
I stared at the person. "Dylan?"