Author's Note: I've Posted a complete playlist on my profile for this story. The music expresses the emotional climate of each chapter.

It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,

Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

-Kate Bush, Running up that Hill

-({})-

Blood. So much blood everywhere. It was getting really hard to breathe but I had to keep breathing because there was something I was suppose to remember.

"This isn't real," I gurgled.

"I'm gonna cut that pretty little tummy of yours to ribbons. Fucking slut!"

-({})-

Just a dream, I told myself and extracted myself from Jacob's arms. I really didn't want to. Jake groaned and tried to draw me back against him.

"We fell asleep, Jake." I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag and exhaled downwind. He was starting to rouse, rubbing his eyes with his fists. I hugged a tree to take my morning piss, cigarette still dangling from my lips. I was such a fucking lady!

"Bells?"

"Pissing! Just a sec."

"Shit," Jacob said, still digging the sleep out of his eyes. "Billy's gonna freak. Charlie too."

"Yeah, I didn't exactly formulate a plan. Crazy people aren't very organized...unless they are OCD, which I am not."

"We need a plan," Jake agreed and pissed on a tree of his own. It was sweet that we were publicly urinating together.

"We can't go to your house, Jake. Billy won't like it." I pulled twigs out of my hair as I said this. We needed money!

"Jake, I have an idea. Do you have a credit card?

"Yeah, Amex loves giving credit cards to eighteen year-old natives with no jobs."

"Fascist assholes!" I sneered. "No worries. All I need is twenty bucks. Can you swing that?"

"Yeah..."

I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Alice.

Tacoma Downs, sixth race, Trifecta.

"Watcha doin'?"

"Playing the ponies. We need to get to Tacoma, like now." I kicked Jake's butt to emphasize my point but suddenly found myself distracted.

"I could spend the rest of my life worshipping your ass. It's the most beautiful fucking thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Sure, sure. You say the same thing about Edward."

"Nah, Edward's face has got nothing on your ass. It makes me wish I had a cock so that I could fuck it."

Jacob laughed at this and bent over for me, giggling like a schoolgirl. "You really are one crazy bitch, Bells."

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my tits against his butt. Suddenly my phone was ringing.

"Ahoy-hoy?"

"Bella, where are you?" Alice demanded.

"On the lamb."

"On the lamb," she repeated in disbelief. "Well the lion is about to have a cow. Edward is mad with worry. Bella, how can you do this to my brother?"

"He's making me crazy, Alice. I needed some space."

"I can't see you."

"That's because we're on the phone." Alice was crazier than me.

"No, silly Bella. Your future is all fuzzy and unclear. I can't get a picture of where you are." She paused for a moment and asked, "Did you get a pet?"

I looked sideways at Jacob. "Um...sort of."

"I smell dog."

"He's very well trained." Jacob took his shirt off and flexed his muscles for no reason that I could think of other than to tease me. I flashed my tits at him in response.

"You must get back to Edward, Bella. This is not the right path that you're on. It's like you're a train that jumped a track and now you're heading in the wrong direction."

"Oh, let's play the metaphor game! It's like I'm Bizarro to Superman. I'm the Anti-Bella!"

Alice huffed with impatience. "That's a simile and an allusion, not a metaphor."

"Takes one to know one!" I retorted. Oh, Jake was now mooning me. So fucking sexy!

"Here's your winning trifecta...I hope I'm doing the right thing here; TwilightsNewMoon, MidnightEclipse and BreakingDawn"

"You're fucking shitting me, right?"

-({})-

We were like Bonnie and Clyde! We ran away from the pay window towards Jake's illegally parked bike a full $820.00 richer!

"Well, babe. What do you wanna do now?" Jacob's smile was so gorgeous it was a sin not to lick him.

"I want to go to fucking Disney Land!" I proclaimed and stuck my tongue in his ear.

"Really?" His face was suddenly full of childlike hope.

"Ah, sweetie. Sadly no. We don't have that kind of money. How about some pizza and a hotel room?"

Jake strapped the helmet under my chin and placed a kiss on my nose. "I want you so much Bells. I'm so fucking in love with you I can't even think straight."

I lifted the visor off of my face and said, "Kiss me, Jake? Make me forget that I'm a nut-job and this is all going to end badly?"

He pressed his sexy, puffy mouth to mine and groaned, kissing me sweetly. I brought my hand up his thigh to remind him he had a cock and the kiss took on a life of its own. We battled each other with our tongues and mine proved to be the submissive female to his Alpha.

"I need to be inside you." He lifted me on the bike and pressed his erection into my stomach.

"Let's go, Jake." I swung my leg over and he mounted in front of me.

I wrapped my arms Jacob's sublimely muscled chest and counted his protruding abdominal muscles as we flew down the chilly Washington freeway. Pressed up to the heat of his body, I wasn't cold at all. In fact, I think I was happy. The contrast of cold air on my face and his delicious heat was not unlike sitting in a hot tub outside in the dead of winter.

Nothing made sense anymore. I craved Jacob with a voracity that was unlike anything I ever knew. Also...I suspected that I might actually love him a little. More than I should.

Whoever I used to be, it didn't matter. I wanted to be Jake's version of Bella now. I'd give anything to be that girl.

You're going to die, Bitch.

I wasn't listening.

I'm gonna cut you to ribbons.

Nah-ah. I was safe. Jacob made me safe.

We pulled into the nearest Motel Six and I started sobbing.

"Keep me safe, Jake. Don't let them get me?"

He looked puzzled but smiled with a reassurance I couldn't help but trust. "I'll keep you safe, Bells. Nothing will ever hurt you when you're with me. Just promise me you'll stay with me?"

If I only could.

Author's Note: Are you more confused than ever? There is a method to my madness, I swear. I appreciate all you crazy fuckers who have stuck with this story so far. If you're a crazy fucker like me, let me know in the form of a review.