A/N: Here's the next chappie. There's a song in this one and I do not own it. I just borrowed it because it fit perfectly. Anyway, happy reading. Please read and review! I love reading them and I'm loving your support!
He laughs and comes over to peck me on the lips. "Hi sweetie. Are you surprised to see me?"
I was still in shock. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to come tomorrow."
"Well I basically scrambled to get everything organized to you sooner. I missed you."
A chorus of awws" interrupted our conversation.
I cleared my throat. 'So I guess you met my family?" I said weakly as I glanced at Derek who had by now say down in his chair and was now channel surfing, avoiding eye contact with me.
"Yes. Nora, George, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti and Derek." Dylan spewed out slowly as he worked to remember whose name was whose.
I gave a forced laugh. "Yeah that's right."
"Okay, okay". George said suddenly but smiling, his arm draped across mom. "I think that's enough for one night. Why don't we all get some sleep? Umm, Edwin, you can bunk with Derek for the night and Dylan can take your room."
"That's not necessary George. I can always stay with Casey. We shared a bed in New York."
An awkward pause filled the room before I butted in. "Uhh…actually Dylan, why don't you take the couch?' I again looked at Derek who was now attacking the remote with his fingers. "That way, everyone has their own space."
I knew everyone was giving me a weird look. Who could blame them? I just told my fiancé to sleep on the couch. Dylan just shrugged. "If that's what you want."
"It is." I said stiffly.
"Okay, so bed for everyone." Mom said, getting up and dragging George with her.
"I can't believe this. It's only 10: 30 and you're making us go to bed?" Marti pouted. "That is so unfair."
"Marti", George sighed. "Just got your room and…read a book."
Marti made a face. "You're kidding me right? Can I surf the net?"
"Fine, just go." George said waving his hand.
"Alright, alright, I'm going." Marti said as she raced up the stairs.
"I'm going to check out some university pamphlets. I still can't believe that I'm this close to being a uni student." Lizzie said as she clapped her hands and got up from the couch.
"You mean we are going to be in university." Edwin jumped in as he too got up.
"Whatever, and stay out of my room, I'm still angry." Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Night Casey, Derek and Dylan."
Edwin waved to us, following her. "Lizzie, I said I was sorry…"
We all said our good nights to them. It was just the three of us now as Mom and George left the same time Marti did. I looked at Derek who was avoiding eye contact with anyone. I looked over at Dylan who in turn was looking at me expectedly.
"Uhh, Derek, aren't you tired?" I asked slowly.
"He smirked. "Actually, no Case, I was planning on catching the end of the game, wanna watch Dylan?"
Dylan smiled good-naturedly. "I would but I'm really knackered, I think I'll sleep early tonight."
"Okay, I'll keep the volume low." Derek said as he sat there staring at the TV.
"Derek!" I screamed. I couldn't believe he was acting like a jerk. No, that's a lie. I cold believe it. I grabbed his arm and pulled him up. I glared at him. "Upstairs. Now."
"Lovely girl, isn't she?" I guess that's why you're marrying her." Derek smirked and turned to leave.
All I felt was guilt inside; I wasn't only dragging Dylan along behind me, but Derek as well.
"Casey, are you alright? You spaced out for a moment."
"Uh yeah, sorry, just aggravated at Derek. Um, I'll get you the spare blanket and pillow." I bustled around gathering the things that Dylan would need. Soon as everything was settled, an awkward pause took over.
"Okay", I said. "Good night Dylan."
"Good night Casey." We stared at each other.
"Good night." I said again as I turned for the stairs.
"Casey." I turned back to look at him. "I love you." He said and the guilt came back full force.
I smiled forcefully. "Good night", and silently walked up the stairs. As I got to my room and I grabbed the doorknob, I turned to look at Derek's room. There was no light seeping through the crack. He was probably angry with me and honestly, what could I say? I sighed and pushed open the door. I would have screamed had a hand not covered my mouth.
"Shh Casey. Shut up." Derek greeted me.
"Derek! What are you doing in my room? And in the dark?" I furiously questioned as soon as Derek let go of me.
"I was waiting for, it's not fun sitting in the dark along but I couldn't let Liz, Ed or Mart know I was in your room now could I?" he crossed his arms and stood there looking smug.
Oh, well that made sense. "Okay fine. But what are you doing here?" I said as I sat down on my bed and pulled off my sweater, leaving me in a form-fitting tee. Derek stood across from me, enjoying the show a little too much. I looked at him pointedly. "Derek."
"What?" He said looking unfazed. "I appreciate the view." When he saw that I wouldn't answer he sighed. "Don't you think we need to talk? You know, about the situation on our couch?"
I shifted my eyes. I couldn't look at him. Derek studied my silence. He sat down next to me but didn't move to touch me. Instead, we both sat there at the edge of my bed staring at opposite walls. We didn't speak for a long time and when he did, his next question startled me.
"Do you love him?"
That was the second time I was asked this question, only about a different person, but this time I knew what to say. I turned to look at him, but he still didn't face my way.
"Derek, I like you, but I also like Dylan. I've been with him for two years, we have a history." He finally turned.
"You didn't answer the question Casey. Do you love him?"
I looked into his brown depths before answering truthfully. "No." The slight rift that was between us felt like it was evaporating. He smiled a relieved smile and kissed me lightly.
"Okay, that's good enough." He said when we broke apart. He got up and opened the door. "For now."
I couldn't sleep that night. There was Derek, the one person that drove me nuts beyond words but at the same time, he was the person whom I've harboured secret feelings about. On the other hand, there was Dylan who fit me, complemented my personality with his own. I twiddled with the ring around my finger. I remembered when he proposed to me. Over a romantic candle lit dinner, he reached across the table for my hand. Told me he loved me and got down on one knee to ask me if I would marry him. And I agreed. Of course I agreed, I did love him, at that time, but now, many months later, I've found that we've become more distant. I sighed. Both these guys were incredibly important to me. Derek was a part of my past, someone I shouldn't like the way I do. There I thought about the situation, the more I realized that Derek and I couldn't, shouldn't be together. I am engaged to Dylan, a man who has been there for me for these past couple of years. But I don't feel the same way about him as I used to, not like the way I know I feel about Derek. So the real question is do I follow my heart or my head?
The next morning, I found George and Dylan talking about law firms together at the kitchen island. Mom was doing some grocery shopping and I knew the kids had other things to do on a Saturday morning. I asked George where everybody was when in actuality I just wanted to know where Derek was. George answered what I already knew. Marti was over at Dimi's, and Lizzie and Edwin, well actually no one knew where they were, they just went out.
"As for Derek…huh…I don't know where he is, I thought he was asleep. This is surprising, oh well. I'm going to head out to the shed, I broke your mom's hair dryer," George said explaining. "I think I'll try to fix it…if not I'll buy a new one." He finished, smiling. "What are your plans today you two?"
"We didn't have anything planned out." Dylan replied. "We'll probably hand around or something. Casey could always show me around town."
"That'd be nice. Okay, I'm going to leave now, see you two lovebirds around." George laughed and went out of the kitchen into the laundry room and left out the backdoor.
"So, what shall we do today honey? Dylan whispered into my ear as he snuggled in from behind, slipping his arms around my waist and continued whispering to me. Though I should have felt comfortable with all his actions, I wasn't. I was still feeling guilt ridden. I cheated on Dylan, with my stepbrother nonetheless.
"You okay Case? You space out yet again." Dylan said smiling, his arms no longer around me.
"Sorry. Um, what were you saying?" I asked relieved at the newfound distance between us.
"I was saying maybe we could take a drive, you could show me all the highlights of your hometown. Casey, are you sure you're all right? You look a little pale."
"Yeah, um. I do have a bit of a headache; I think I'll go lie down for a bit. I'll take you out later."
"Yeah sure. Feel better okay?" he said sincerely.
"What are you going to do?" I asked apologetically, making my way up the stairs.
"I'll find something. You don't worry about a thing."
"Alright. Stay out of trouble." I said jokingly. And for a split second everything went back to the way it was before I came back, before I was reacquainted with Derek, before I fell out of love. I smiled sadly at him before continuing my incline.
I was in the same situation as I was in the night before. I stood in front of my door and looked over at Derek's room, the door was closed which meant that he was in there. I went over to knock at his door when I heard Derek playing his guitar in his room. The song was familiar in a way. As soon as Derek started singing, I realized what it was that Derek was playing.
I shouldn't love you, but I want to,
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move,
I can't look away.
I shouldn't love you, but I want to,
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move,
I can't look away.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not.
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
Just so you know,
This feeling's taking control of me,
And I can't help it,
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I've tried my best to let go of you,
But I don't want to,
I just got to say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
It's getting so hard to be around you,
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to have the feelings,
And look the other way?
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not,
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
Just so you know,
This feeling's taking control of me,
And I can't help it,
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I've tried my best to let go of you,
But I don't want to,
I just got to say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
This emptiness is killing me,
And I'm wond'ring why I waited so long.
Looking back I realize,
It was always there, just never spoken.
I'm waitin' here,
Been waitin' here.
Just so you know,
This feeling's taking control of me,
And I can't help it,
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I've tried my best to let go of you,
But I don't want to,
I just got to say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
Ooh wo oh oh.
Just so you know.
Oh wo oh oh.
Thought you show know,
I've tried my best to let go of you,
But I don't want to.
Just go to say it all before I go,
Just so you know.
Just so you know.
By the end of the song, I was silently crying. No matter how much of a jerk Derek was to me when we were younger, I knew that Derek felt deeply for me.
The door suddenly opened. "Casey." Derek said, leaning against the doorframe. I knew he knew I was there the whole time. I wiped the tearstains from my face.
"Since when did you listen to Jesse McCartney?" I asked.
He smiled. "I don't Marti left her CD in my car."
A silence took over as we stared at each other. "Did you mean it?" I asked meekly.
"Every word." He whispered.
And the tears started again.
"I'm not letting you go Casey." He said fiercely. He pulled into a hug.
I wrapped my arms around him, still crying. "But Dylan…"
"No. You told me you didn't love him anymore. It's time you ended it. We'll end it together." He pulled back to look into my eyes and kissed me swiftly.
I saw the determination in his eyes. He was right. It was time to end it. "Okay, but let me do it. I don't want to hurt him anymore than I have to." I smiled up at him through my tears.