Author's Note: The duo-perspective lemon had to be incorporated into this chapter! There's something vaguely "Being John Malchovich" about it.
Alice left me alone in the woods since I no longer existed.
I was trembling in terror as I stared at my arms, trying to figure out if I was fading. I looked a little fuzzy around the edges but it could have been all of the medication Bella Flanagan made me take.
I curled up on my side and lay against a tree, waiting for the unknown to claim me, for whatever dreams that may come. Instead, I was assaulted with a memory.
I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?
This was when I ceased to exist, I was sure. Edward's voice was in my head, imploring me to fight for my life, to convince the French nomad that the Cullens would return. Half-heartedly I listened to the ghost in my heart, threatening Laurent of Edward's return. I didn't really care, though. I couldn't summon the fear to spike adrenaline through my veins. Sweet relief swam through me because so soon my suffering would be over. Laurent would bring me peace.
This is nothing personal, let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst.
"Fuck you, Laurent. Just kill me already and get it over with, asshole!"
I was no longer me.
-({})-
Edward pulled me into an embrace but I could barely feel his cold arms around my chilled frame. "I don't exist," I muttered, drawing in shallow gasps of air. "Laurent killed me. I died."
"No, Bella," he insisted. "I can feel your heart beating beneath your skin and hear the rush of blood in your veins." He drew his hand down my neck and I shuddered at the touch. There was something vaguely erotic about the desperation in his caress.
"Alice..."
"Alice lied."
"No. I died. I remember."
He carried me as gracefully as he could. I was in shock. A complete dead weight. We were silent for some time and eventually I drifted into sleep. I tried to fight against it, fearful that I would never resurface.
-({})-
From ice into fire, the scene transformed behind my eyelids. Was it memory or perception?
"Alright...lemme just get some water." Jacob was speaking to me but his eyes were focused about a half inch off kilter. Vaguely, I was aware of being in a shower.
"No, dissolve them under your tongue." Somewhere behind my eyes, I watched Jacob obey her...the bitch inside my brain. Sometimes her words shocked me into complete submission and I would retreat into the darkest corners of my subconscious. Other times I was certain she was confessing my most private, terrible desires and ugliest of thoughts.
Look at me, Jake? I'm in here. Don't take those pills!
"Now what?"
"Get naked. Make me forget that I'm a crazy bitch. Fuck the crazy out of me."
Oh, crap! Edward, I'm so sorry.
I couldn't bring myself to hate Jacob even though I knew I probably should. His love and desire for me was so intensely passionate and pure, I knew he was the victim in this messed-up scenario more than I was. And, also, despite everything I loved him. More than I ever should have allowed myself to.
Electricity flowed between us. His kiss found me and when his tongue entered my mouth, the moans that were drawn from me were mine as well as her's. His hands on my breasts nearly set me on fire. I wanted to push him away and hold him closer all at once.
Jacob. I love you, Jacob. Please stop kissing me.
We dropped to our knees and a thrill ran through me as we pulled the denim down his legs. The sigh that my lips expelled was all me. A lifetime ago, before I lost my mind, I told Jacob that I thought he was sort of beautiful. In truth, I should have told him what I was really thinking. He was the most beautiful human boy in the world.
Jacob gazed at my naked body and I would have folded over in embarrassment if not for the raw want in his eyes. I tried to look away from his- from the evidence of his desire for me but she wouldn't let me. "You're perfection. The most fucking beautiful girl I've ever seen. I can't believe you want me. Do you have any idea how fucking sexy and gorgeous you are?"
He took his pe- um, erection in his fist and offered it to her...to me. Thank goodness she closed her eyes when it entered my mouth. He groaned and thrust deeper into my throat, gagging me. Instantly he pulled away while she rambled on about his size. It did seem very big to me but I didn't have much basis for comparison. Like the rest of him, it was beautiful.
He nodded and turned away from me. "Yeah, I know I'm a freak."
What? No! You're warm and sweet and wonderful. Oh, god, I love you so much. This has to stop now!
I'm not sure which one of us reached for him next but our lips found his easily. His full mouth against mine was heaven and hell, all at once. My undoing was the elation in his kiss, the pure joy in his eyes. Between kisses there were smiles, caresses and words of love. She was feeling tender towards him now too. Flanagan and I were at war with each other, of that I was certain. She wanted Jacob and I wanted Edward. But it wasn't that simple either because we loved both of them in different ways. She was so full of hatred towards Edward that she wouldn't let herself love him. I was able to forgive him since I understood his motives, however misguided he was in leaving me.
I loved Edward so much. I needed Jake.
If I wanted to, I could have retreated into the darkness and let her take over. But I was so overcome with need; too much. It was too much. The ache deep within me could no longer be ignored. I wanted him inside of me, every which way.
He held my thighs, spreading them apart slowly. His eyes widened in awe at my parted lips. Again, I would have been mortified at the exposure if I didn't know beyond a shadow of doubt that Jacob loved me and would never hurt me.
He pushed himself deep within me and I cried out in astonished pleasure. Flanagan was moving our body, but I was the one Jacob was making love to. Each thrust of his hips extended beyond her and inside of me.
The desperation was apparent in his movement. He was trying to find me and draw me back to the surface.
"I love you."
I love you too, Jake.
-({})-
I was lying on a white chaise lounge near a cream piano on a bone coloured rug that was draped over bleached hardwood floors. Everything was fucking white!
"The decor is kind of ironic," I mused and stretched. Edward shot a look of annoyance at me and played a half-assed rendition of Quando Men Vo. "La Bohème. Really?"
"Not your taste?" he said coolly.
I snorted. "Ha! I'm about to fuck with your universe." I looked casually at the music and thought briefly back to Alice and Bella Swan's little confrontation. "If this was a Greek play, Alice would be the Chorus. She's the only one with any fucking insight at all." I hummed a couple of notes. "Does your Bella ever sing in Italian, Edward?"
He ignored me and started play louder. I took a deep breath and sang, "Quando men vo soletta per la via, la gente sosta e mira e la bellezza mia tutta ricerca in me."
Edward stopped playing.
"Bella isn't very musical, is she?"
He cleared his throat. "She has a lovely singing voice...she always did."
"Ah-huh. Can she sing opera?"
"If she wanted to," he said defiantly.
I sat at the piano. "Could she play?" Edward quickly covered the keys.
"That's enough, Bella."
I smirked. "Stop me if you've heard this one. A girl gets attacked by a vampire and winds up in a mental institution. She asks her doctor 'will I be able to play piano?' and the doctor replies, 'Of course.' Do you know the punch line of this sad little joke, Edward?"
He swallowed thickly but did not respond.
"Well that's fucking cool because I couldn't play it before." Instantly he pulled me away from the piano.
"What's your point, Isabella?" he growled.
"Alice told Bella she does not exist. Personally, I believe you should never bet against Alice, however I think you need proof. If I can play the piano, then I'm real. If I can't, she is."
He released me and we both looked at the keys with unease.
"Let's do this," he agreed.
Author's Note: Theories? Are there any Team Flanagan fuckers out there or do we hope for Edward's whiny little slut to emerge? Ah, I do love Bella Swan. She just needs some balls! Review me and I'll be your best friend! Oh, and I'll send a preview.
Also, here are two lemons I recommend:
Edward Lemon - The Courtyard » by la-tessitore
Jacob Lemon - Onside Kick by wordslinger