Teen Girl Squad Halloween Special!!
Cheerleader: Afraid of Quarterman!
So-And-So: Afraid of blueberry-scented hairspray!
What's Her Face: Afraid of Charles Schwab!
The Ugly One: Afraid of nail salons?
Cheerleader: (Emerges from pumpkin, lightning cracks around her) Goooooooood-morning, gals! Today we gonna get ready to be…
All the girls: Sooooo spooky!
So-And-So: I'm gonna be toilet paper, this Halloween!
The Ugly One: I'm gonna be Moby Dick!
What's Her Face: I'm gonna be Andrew Ryan this Decemberween! (Everyone looks at What's Her Face)
Cheerleader: Oooooohkay… listens, gals! We gonna get ready for tomorrow which is Halloweeeeeeeeeen! (Back-crack'd! Lightning strikes Cheerleader, Cheerleader goes into shock. All the girls stare at the corpse)
The Ugly One: Won't be seeing her for a while.
(The next night…)
So-And-So: Ugh! This is ridiculous! I don't know whether to wear Bounty or Charmin Ultra-Strong!
So-And-So Mommersson: (Echoing voice sounding like it's coming from a cave) Will, hurry up! I'm not gonna look at you all day! Make your choice and get out!!
So-And-So: Oh, you have no taste in pop culture, So-And-So Mommersson! (Da Boot!)
(Meanwhile…)
The Ugly One: (Pirate voice) Avast, ye lubbs! I come as The Ugly One dressed as a whale, in surch to fulfill me ever-growing need for sugar nuggets! (Changes back to normal voice) So gimme, gimme! I ain't gonna stand here all day!
Bearded Woman: Shure, lil' dalin' go'gis, halp yo'self. (Brings out bowl of candy. Sucrerie de toileeeeeeette? The bearded woman died)
The Ugly One: (Walking away) Movin' on!
So-And-So: How'd it go?
The Ugly One: Dunnoh. (Cotton swab'd! A bunny beat The Ugly One with an ear and she died) Ow, my beerwax!
What's Her Face: What's a beerwax?
So-And-So: Dunnoh. Something to do with grammar. (Nanny Grams! An old woman appears out of nowhere)
Old Woman: Beat staaaaate!!
So-And-So: (Holding her ears dramatically) Noooooooooooo!
(Meanwhile…)
Cheerleader: It sure is dark AND spooky here… HELLO? So-And-So? What's Her Face? Moby Dick?
(Again meanwhile…)
What's Her Face: Where is Cheerleader? She said she'd be here by now!
So-And-So: I hope she hurriiiiiiies!
Old Woman: I'm degrees at thirteen back in my day!
So-And-So: Aaaaaaaack!
(Yet another meanwhile…)
Cheerleader: Where's the way out of these spooky woods? It's getting daaaark! (Arrow'd guy emerges in the background dressed as an owl)
Cheerleader: Oh, this is too much! This forest is probably infested with ticks and owls! Plus it's an ideal place for forest fires! (Larry Duct'd! -Strong Bad struggles to pronounce- A roll of monster tape whacks Cheerleader with Andrew Ryan, complete with a Big Daddy diving suit! And of course Cheerleader died) Ow, the sensemake!
(You know what I'm going to say…)
Old Woman: And the tension shippers back in my day!
What's Her Face: Waaaaait a second! (Bwowowowow) My spider sense tells me that Cheerleader just got taken-to by an Andrew Ryan!
So-And-So: Does that mean anything?
What's Her Face: I'm guessing she died.
So-And-So: Oh, well… that's one less… sssssss… to worry about. NOW LET'S GO TRICK'R TREATING FOR REALLY!
Two Girl Squad! Not that you'd care!!
So-And-So and What' Her Face! (Boooooooo!)
So-And-So: Ding-dong! No one's looking!
Man: (Answers door) I see you and you want candy, don't you?
What's Her Face: I was ezpecting a more positive welcome…
Man: You mean expecting?
What's Her Face: No, ezpecting.
Man: Whatever, here's your candy. (Dumps candy in their bags)
So-And-So: Okay by- (Man shuts door on her hand) Ow!
(At the next house…)
So-And-So: Knock knock knock! I'm getting paid for this!
Death: (Answers door) Hheeeeeeelllllloooooooo?
So-And-So: Hey, hey! I'm a trick-or-treater! Gimme candy or gimme death!
Death: I am death.
What's Her Face: (Shuts the door on death) Whoops! Been here long enough!
(Down the road…)
So-And-So: Looks like a long way to the next house! Wanna play I Spy?
What's Her Face: Sure… uuuh, I spy a red thing.
So-And-So: That tree over there?
What's Her Face: Oh, guess it's your turn.
So-And-So: I spy with my beady, badly-illustrated eye… something… plastic!
What's Her Face: That manikin over there?
So-And-So: Doof! You got it right!
What's Her Face: I spy… something beardy.
So-And-So: That hobo over there?
Hobo: My life as a teenage girl!
What's Her Face: Really! You're a psychic! (The hobo goes into his giant golden house with his limozeen parked in the driveway as What's Her Face and So-And-So walk away)
(At the next house…)
So-And-So: Bang bang bang! I'm desperate to find out!
Woman: (Answers door) Who's there?! Jeffery, is that you?!
What's Her Face: Give us what we came here for! We do not accept tricks!
Woman: Gah! Take it! Take it and leave!! (Drops a dead goose on the doorstep and slams the door)
Both the girls: Anserini carcass!
(This is the last house!)
What's Her Face: Nock nock nock! Did I spell that right?
Chair: (Answers door) Hello?
So-And-So: Ooooh, the butt-print warming kind! That's cool with us! Give us some human food! And make sure there's lots of high fructose corn syrup!
Chair: Sorry. All I got is this bottle of Listerine.
What's Her Face: It's all cool, it's all cool. We could put some smart rinse through its paces. C'mon, What's It's Face, we're done. (Stampede of shoppers! What's Her Face and So-And-So died)
Iiiiiit's Over! (Said as if saying "Heeeeere's Johnny!")