"Hermione?" inquired a familiar voice as Harry, Ron, and I walked down to the Great Hall- Ron looking rather green and nervous.
"Yes Ginny?" I asked back, sounding rather exasperated. It wasn't that I wasn't interested, it was just… Talking to me didn't seem to be helping Ginny. I wasn't really sure what would. Anyway, it was the first Quidditch Match of the year and it was Gryffindor Vs. Ravenclaw, and the Ravenclaw team had really improved since the year before. It worried me that Harry wasn't worried. In fact, he'd been a bit… distant… all year. So I was distracted.
"Is Harry all right?" Ginny asked and I glanced at her— so it wasn't what I thought it was.
I shrugged, "I'm not sure. I was thinking of asking you. He's been distant, hasn't he?"
"Yes," Ginny said with a frown, "I feel like he's really trying to pay attention to me sometimes, but just can't."
"Well he's taking Occlumency lessons with Professor Dumbledore now… so it can't be Professor Snape that's bothering him," I mused thoughtfully, stepping into the Great Hall, the smells of breakfast foods wafting into my nose.
"Yeah," Ginny said and then added darkly, "Maybe it's me that's the problem."
I glanced over at her with the feeling that I knew where that comment was going, but I didn't answer this time, instead I just walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Ron, letting Ginny slide in next to Harry.
"Just be glad Quidditch hasn't been canceled," I told Ron, shoving a piece of buttered toast onto his plate, "And be glad it's a glorious day outside."
Ron moaned and dropped his head into his hands, mumbling something that was either, "I'm not ready for this," or, "Will you go out with me?" I doubted it was the latter.
The chatter in the Great Hall died down as people started filing out to the stands to get a good seat to view the game nicely. I, for one, didn't care too much where I sat and I stayed behind a few minutes until Harry and Ron finally got up and wandered down to the Quidditch Pitch to change into their Quidditch Robes and get their brooms. I eventually followed, squeezing myself in amongst the throngs of Gryffindors.
"Hi," Ginny said, appearing by my side as I squinted at the still rising sun, wondering why the match had to scheduled so early. Granted, it was a nice day, and the dew was sparkling off the lawn in a stunning way but still… it was early.
"Hello," I responded, wondering if I ought to have brought a hat of some sort and then wondering in the next moment if there was a spell I could do to dim my eyes. I made a note to look it up.
"Bit bright," commented Ginny in an echo of my own thoughts.
"Yes," I agreed, "It should be easier to see the Snitch that way."
"I hope so," Ginny said, looking out over the Pitch. The players had not yet appeared.
"Yes," I said, pulling a small book out from under my robes surreptitiously and thumbing through its pages.
"What's that?" Ginny wondered, peering over my shoulder.
"An old book I found hiding in the library on History," I answered with a slight smile, "If this game goes on too long I thought it'd be nice to have something to read."
Ginny smiled and shook her head, "But Quidditch is so exciting."
"It is," I nodded neutrally.
"About Harry though…" Ginny started, changing the subject.
"Yes?" I asked, raising my eyes to look at her.
"Well…" she said as her grin sobered, "I'm worried about him."
At that moment the two teams walked onto the Pitch and our attention was taken away momentarily by the game, as the Snitch and Bludgers were released and finally the Quaffle tossed into the air. Harry immediately could be seen circling the field far up, scanning for the Snitch, while the raging battle for points began with the Quaffle.
"So you're worried about Harry?" I asked, turning back to Ginny as those around us shouted and screamed. For all their noise we might as well been in a room alone- no one would hear our discussion either way.
"Yes," Ginny nodded, brushing some hair from her eyes to watch the tiny dot circle above us, "I think more happened last year than any of us thought…"
"Probably," I said, dropping my eyes and feeling suddenly remorseful, "He's like that you know."
"I know," Ginny said, "And I wish I could help him but he doesn't confide in me."
"He doesn't confide in us either anymore," I said, my eyes moving over to Ron.
"You don't think it's just me then?" Ginny asked, her eyes searching mine.
"No," I shook my head, "It's Harry who's changed."
"Yeah…" Ginny said with a sigh, leaping to her feet momentarily to scream in approval as Gryffindor score a goal against Ravenclaw, but she was soon sitting back down.
"Listen, Ginny," I said, and she turned to look at me directly, "You don't need to worry so much about yourself. You are what you are and right now you're with Harry."
She shrugged and looked away, the silence stretching between us for a long moment before she said, "Sometimes I think he's still in love with Cho."
I winced. Cho. Bane of everyone's existence. In my eyes, it seems as if she died with Cedric back in our fourth year…
"Ginny?" I asked, a thought occurring to me.
"Huh?" she asked back, her mind starting to wander.
"Are you so concerned about your sexuality because there's someone, a girl, that you think you might like?" I asked her seriously.
"Uh," Ginny said, turning a brilliant shade of red, and then stammered, "I really like Harry."
"I'm sure you do," I said, suppressing a smile and turning my attention back to the game, "Honestly."
"This is weird," Ginny only muttered, "Having this kind of discussion with you."
***
Ravenclaw won the game. Ron disappeared, brooding, and Harry disappeared, brooding as well, although I somehow doubted it was about the same thing. Once again, this left me with Ginny.
We were sitting out by the lake, just at the edge, watching the giant squid take advantage of the sun and twirling around just above the surface, to the delight of the first years. It was nice.
"Did you know Muggles think that Giant Squid only live in the depths of oceans?" I inquired, hardly even wanting an answer as I leaned back on my hands, feeling guilty about the fact that I was procrastinating- I had so much homework to do this weekend…
But Ginny laughed and turned to look at me in surprise, her soft brown eyes dancing as she shook her head, "No. I suppose they've never been to Hogwarts though!"
"No, I suppose they haven't," I winked at her and she smiled back at me and then suddenly looked away, her eyes searching the clouds as if asking them to tell her something.
"So… whichever you are…" Ginny started a moment later and I leaned back farther on my hands, preparing myself for a long discussion, "What was it that made you realize what you were?"
"Viktor Krum," I said with a smile, amused, "Definitely him."
Ginny frowned, thinking this over and I could practically hear her thoughts. Now, it seems like she didn't really like him that way, which would suggest her being gay… however it could be that she just didn't like him… Did she not like him or his gender? Crap…
"What about Krum?" she finally asked me, tucking a strand of red hair behind an ear.
"What about Harry do you like?" I countered and she blushed, realizing how personal our conversation had grown.
She chose not to answer that question directly and part of me was relieved. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know those things about Harry.
"Well… I like who he is. I like being with him," she finally said, "But… I sometimes feel like I'm not attracted to him as much as I should be."
I pondered this, then said with a sigh, "Ginny… I really don't know how to help you. I can ask you these questions, which are important ones to consider if you're wondering… but there's only so much I can do. I'm not sure I'm the right person."
"Why not?" Ginny asked, looking a little hurt and a little peeved. I knew she was also inquiring about my orientation. However… Hogwarts…. I wasn't sure it was an environment ripe for the introduction of a new series of equal rights. Though the fifth year Gryffindor girls didn't seem to mind. Hmm.
"Maybe an out gay," I suggested and she raised an eyebrow but nodded.
"Do we have any out gays?" Ginny wondered, taking her eyes off mine once more and watching to squid with a smile.
"Actually… we do," I grinned, thinking with a sinking stomach about an Ancient Runes essay that was begging to be done up in my school bag in the castle, "Professor Vector."
"A Professor?" Ginny squeaked, her eyes widening.
"Well… she's never said she's gay, so those who were gay-ignorant they wouldn't know, but she has rainbow pins, shoelaces, buttons… and you know that poster on her wall? The rainbow one that says Think Outside The Box? It's not an Arithmancy poster," I explained, looking up at the fluffy clouds floating above us.
"Oh…" Ginny said and it was the sort of "oh" that is stretched out and representing the dawning of information inside someone's head, "How do you know she's not just a gay supporter?"
I thought a moment before answering, watching Ginny, wondering whether or not to say anything, "I asked her."
"You did?" Ginny asked, her eyes whirling around to meet me, "Wow. I could never do that."
"I bet you could if you really wanted to," I said, tilting my head sideways to admire her from a different direction, "I mean you've pretty much told your entire year that you're bi-curious."
"Hmm," was all Ginny said. I shrugged with a smile and we returned to admiring the day and neither of us said anything more on the topic of sexual preference.