Ginny caught me in the library next, hiding behind a stack of books. She whirled rapidly to my corner of the room, and dragged a chair to my table to sink into it with a long sigh. I suppose I should have known a tall stack of books didn't hide me, it just telltaled my existence. So much for studying.
"What's going on with Harry?" she asked me, peering at me with her brown eyes, "I know he talks more to you than to me…"
I wondered if she was jealous of that… but she was talking to me as a friend so I supposed not.
"I think you should ask him that," I told him. Harry didn't talk to me about Ginny, I doubted he even did so to Ron. In fact, Harry didn't talk much at all lately.
"I've tried," she sighed, shoving some long red hair from her eyes, "He's distancing himself."
"Hmm," I said, reluctantly closing the textbook I was copying notes from, "I still think you should talk to him. I'm not sure how I can help."
Ginny looked over at me, meeting my eyes with an intense, pleading expression, "I don't know what to do."
I stared back at her, feeling a little helpless but feeling like I actually did wish there was more I could do, and I looked at her face, the hair falling gracefully down to her shoulders, the brown eyes that instead of reminding me of Ron, reminded me of her when I looked at him now.
"I'm not even sure anymore about him," Ginny said, "What if I'm only going out with him because I just want a boyfriend?"
I snorted, "I doubt that. You've been together for several months now, and from what you've said, you sound like you're really attracted to him."
"But I do…" Ginny started then paused and looked away from me, a slight blush rising on her cheeks, "I do find other people attractive."
"Other girls…?" I pressed. I should have started the GSA last year as I was thinking about. It would have been great for Ginny if it was practicing and functional by now.
"Yes," she said.
"Like I said at first, you could be bisexual…" I suggested.
Ginny frowned at me and said, "Hmm. Why is the wizarding world so anti-gay?"
"It isn't," I answered, and she frowned at me some more, so I continued, "It's just… quiet. Those who aren't gay wander around oblivious to the fact that Mary and Jane are more than just 'good friends' and John and Joe are living together for more reasons than saving money. Those who are… usually can recognize each other. The way I found Professor Vector."
"What, all wizards who wear rainbows are actually flaming gays?" Ginny asked, sounding amused.
"Umm," I said, then shrugged, "There aren't too many at Hogwarts, I don't think."
"You know, your description of homosexuality in the Wizarding world puts you firmly in the homosexual category. Clearly you aren't oblivious," Ginny suddenly pointed out with a wicked grin.
I looked at Ginny, feeling torn between embarrassment and amusement, then decided to just stay silent. She just smirked at me and then said, "Do you have a secret girlfriend?"
It was a good thing I wasn't eating something, because if I was, whatever would have been in my mouth would have gone spraying all over everything. Instead, I just choked, then coughed, then finally found my breath and muffled my laughter in my arm so Madam Pince wouldn't come sweeping angrily down upon us. Me, with a secret girlfriend?
"I take that as a no," Ginny said. I glanced at her, unable to tell if she was disappointed or happy about that. Her face was unreadable.
"Go find Harry, Ginny," I said, my lips still twitching in amusement, "Tell him you feel distanced, tell him you want to be confided in."
Ginny sighed, then nodded and said, "All right. See you later."
I watched her leave, then turned back to my studying. But Transfiguration essays didn't seem so important anymore. My concentration was gone. I wondered if Ginny would work things out with Harry. I wondered if he was okay. I wondered what he was hiding from all of us.
OOO
"Hey Hermione," a voice said, a body sitting down beside me at the Gryffindor table. It was Ron, and for once, Harry wasn't right behind him. The tall, lanky boy looked almost as nervous as he did before Quidditch matches, and I wondered what was up. Lately he'd either kind of ignored me, or been snappish. I had no idea why.
"Good morning, Ron," I said, looking at him and being reminded of Ginny, "Do you think Professor Snape will be quizzing us on that potion we learned last week?"
Ron sighed, relaxing a little, "Dunno. I hope not."
I smiled, then said, "How's Quidditch practice been?"
He brightened up at this and said, "Better! Apparently all I need is confidence. Easier said than done, though."
"Hmm," I said. Quidditch had never interested me much. I suppose it came from being raised in a non-sport watching family.
"Hey do you want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" Ron suddenly asked after the brief lull in our conversation. It came out a little quicker than usual.
I munched on some toast as I answered, "Sure, I need a few more quills…"
Ron made a face and I looked at him curiously as he said, "I mean, we could go to the Three Broomsticks together…just you and I…"
I stared at him. Was he seriously asking me on a date? I'd sort of had a crush on him the first few years here at Hogwarts, but once it became clear (especially after Krum) that he wasn't really mature enough to decide whether or not he liked me, I stopped thinking about it. Also I decided that men weren't really of the gender I was interested in. For the last year or so I'd been pointedly not showing any interest in him.
"Um… Ron," I started and his eyes avoided mine, "I don't really think… I mean… I don't feel that way about you."
"Oh," he said, and then stood up and walked away. I had the feeling that wasn't the end of that. I sighed, and stared at the remaining few bites of toast in my hand. I wasn't hungry anymore. I didn't want to lose Ron as a friend.
A few minutes later Ginny and Harry came and sat down beside me. Harry seemed distracted, Ginny was attempting to hold up a conversation. Despite feeling like being antisocial and retreat into my own world, I joined in to help, bolstering Harry's contributions to the conversation. Ron did not reappear. Soon it was time to leave for class and so Harry and I departed one way, Ginny the other. She winked at me as we split directions, which brought a smile to my face despite my crumbling mood.
For the first time during Transfiguration, Ron didn't sit with Harry and I. Instead, he came in late and sat down next to Seamus Finnegan on the other side of the classroom. I sighed and Harry gave me a sidelong look, bordering on curiosity and not wanting to know.
"It's nothing," I said, pulling open my textbook with a frown, "I hope."
"So you always say," Harry muttered, but stayed out of it. Six years of knowing us had taught him that was best. I frowned, and started taking notes as Professor McGonagall started lecturing on human transfiguration.
OOO
"Hey lady," Ginny said with a grin as she spun into the bathroom as I washed my hands at the sink, "How's life?"
"You seem cheerful," I said, peering at her curiously. Did this mean she had figured it all out? Or was Harry being good?
"Just glad to see you," Ginny answered, disappearing into a toilet stall.
As I was drying my hands she reappeared, probably setting some sort of record for peeing times, and asked, "Are you going out with Ron?"
"No," I said, glancing at her sideways.
"Ah," she said, as if that answer revealed everything. Maybe it did. I frowned.
She spun out of the bathroom as quickly as she came in. I wondered if maybe I had missed something.
OOO
"Hey Hermione," Ron's voice sounded behind me. I was in the Gryffindor common room, studying.
"Yes?" I asked, trying to look welcoming. Had he forgiven me?
Ron sat down across the table from me and said, "I want to talk to you."
"About what?" I asked, glancing at my Arithmancy notes.
"Not liking me. I mean, you liked Krum, and you barely even knew him. Me and you have a history. How can you not like me?" Ron inquired, looking actually sincerely confused. And hurt.
"Um," I started, "Ron. Because that's not how it works. By your logic, I should also like Harry, and Neville, and practically all the rest of the boys in our year. Possibly some in other years. Which I do not."
"Exactly," Ron said, and I stared at him until he elaborated, "You don't like any of the other guys in our year, or years around us. But you must like someone. And that's me. Maybe you just don't know it."
"Uh huh," I said, starting to get worried about where this was going.
"Let me prove it to you. Come on that date with me," Ron said, his voice turning pleading.
"Ron…" I sighed at him.
"Please?" he asked, "You won't regret it."
"If I go, and afterwards decide that I still don't like you that way, can we just be friends?" I inquired, leaping at a chance to end this quickly.
"Yes!" Ron said eagerly, then jumped up and ran off. I watched him disappear with a sinking heart. Based on his reaction, saying yes was probably actually a very bad idea. Now I'd just gotten his hopes up. Only to be dashed again come the weekend. Crap.
A/N: Improving any? Tell me what you think, please!