Angel Dust

A/N: Finally, I can update the chapter I wrote days ago! Hope you guys enjoy!

By the time Courtney and Randy stepped out for their night at the Correspondent's Dinner, she had nearly forgotten how celebrity tasted. But the day after their outing, she was remembering all too clearly the blinding glare of the spotlight.

The sidewalk outside the coffee shop was abuzz with photographers and reporters, all snapping her photo while she worked. Patrons inside the shop increased as well. But Courtney couldn't really complain, since in the influx in business made it possible for her to hire extra help. And extra help meant she could spend some time at home, resting her weary feet and unwinding for once.

Trish sat on the couch, watching a horrible 80's movie as Courtney moved into the living room, handing her friend a huge cup of hot cocoa. "Sit down," Trish insisted as Courtney flopped onto the seat beside her. "You're makin' me nervous with all that pacing."

Shooting her friend a withering smile, Courtney took a drink of her cocoa. "I'm glad you could come over," she said honestly. As long as she could remember, even growing up, Courtney hadn't had very many girl friends. There were a few, here and there along the way, but for the most part, she had been relegated to her parents' associates and other society kids. And she didn't consider any of them her friends.

The smile Trish shot her was warm and inviting. "Are you kidding? I'm about three steps away from moving in with you, just so I can hang out on this couch some more." She wiggled into the overstuffed sofa a little further and sighed happily.

Before Courtney could respond, the front door opened. "Hello, Ladies," Randy greeted with a smile as he sat his briefcase on the entry table and turned to close the door. Moving to the couch, he dropped a kiss on Courtney's forehead. "You're home early."

Checking her watch, she nodded. "So are you. I thought you had a business dinner tonight."

Randy loosened his tie and shrugged his navy blue jacket off his broad shoulders. "Got cut short. I have a flight to catch."

Raising an eyebrow, Courtney set her feet on the floor. "A flight?"

"Afghanistan," he answered nonchalantly as he moved up the stairs toward their bedroom.

"What?" Courtney's heartbeat accelerated as she stood and shot an apologetic look at Trish. "Excuse me for a minute?"

Trish nodded and pointed to the stairs. "Of course."

Following the path Randy had just taken, she found him already throwing clothes into a bag on the bed. "What do you mean you're going to Afghanistan?" she demanded. She clearly remembered the days Dave would come home, hurridly pack, and run to catch a flight to some war-torn country. And she hadn't liked it then, either.

"Huge interview opportunity," Randy explained, moving back to the closet. "I should only be gone a few days."

"Should?" Courtney moved into the room and sat on the bed. Just a few nights ago, she had listened to the President tell a room full of journalists that the situation in the Middle East was getting better. She didn't buy it for a second. Almost daily, Americans were still dying in Iraq and Afghanistan - journalists had died - and she wasn't interested in her boyfriend being one of them. "Randy, look at me."

He turned, three pairs of khaki pants in his hands, and smiled easily. "Baby, relax," he reassured, laying his clothes on the bed and then dropping another kiss on the top of her head. "It's a routine interview. I'm gonna go in, set up, let the boys do their thing, and I'll be back by the weekend."

"And what if you're not?" She didn't want to show that it bothered her. But it did. "What if something happens to you? Then what?"

Finally stopping in the middle of the room, Randy rested his hands in his pockets. "I love that you're worried about me," he smiled softly. "But I promise you, Court," he moved to her and pulled her up, holding her face to his. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'll be fine." He kissed her nose.

She wasn't one for acting like a child, but Courtney couldn't help pouting her bottom lip. "Alright, fine," she finally whispered. Narrowing her eyes, she stepped back from his touch. "But if you come back in a body bag, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Deal," he laughed easily as he changed his clothes and stuffed a baseball hat over his hair. "I gotta get goin'," he winked, gripping his duffle bag with one hand and her arm with the other. Pulling her close, he kissed her, sucking gently on her bottom lip until she moaned and relaxed against his body. "I could maybe spare a few minutes."

Courtney shook her head and laced her fingers through his. "Trish is downstairs," she warned, leading him out of their room.

Randy wanted to protest that she never used to have trouble fucking Dave in front of company, but if he was honest, he really didn't have time to ravage her the way he wanted to. Her reaction to his departure was almost enough for him to get off on, anyway. How long had he waited for her to show some sign of commitment to their relationship? The fact that she had nearly cried when he announced he was leaving made him feel better than any quickie ever could. Almost.

After a quick good-bye to Trish, he stopped at the front door and set his bag down, pulling Courtney into his arms again. "I'll call you when I get there, okay?" She nodded and rested her hands on his chest. "Don't worry about me, Baby." When she looked into his eyes, he shot her a brilliant smile. "Why would I go do some stupid shit when I know you're here waiting for me?"

Courtney felt her heart flop a little bit. Sometimes, when he smiled just the right way or rubbed her cheek softly, she could feel the butterflies stirring in the pit of her stomach. "Okay." Her lips twitched with a slight smile as he pressed another soft kiss to her mouth.

They held each other for another second and then he moved to pick up his bag. Kissing her forehead, he said, "I love you."

With a blush, she motioned toward the car and smiled. "Be careful," she warned as he waved good-bye and headed down the driveway. Returning to the couch, Courtney sat again and sighed. "Why do I always get stuck with the fucking Indiana Joneses of journalism?"

Trish grinned knowingly. The look on Courtney's face was new to the angel, and she was sure that Dave was noticing it, too. "Do you love him?" she asked suddenly.

Courtney looked confused. "I'm not. . . I don't," she stopped and searched for the right answer. "Does it matter?"

Though she knew she was in danger of over-stepping her bounds, Trish found herself compelled to say something. "It's not the same, huh?" Courtney shrugged and shook her head, though her face showed no sign of emotion. "Do you think it's because you're trying to replicate your marriage?"

With a sigh, Courtney cut the power on the television and turned her body on the couch. "Have you ever lost someone, Trish?"

Everyone I loved, Trish thought, but only nodded. "Yes."

"It's not a conscious decision," Courtney tried to explain. "It's not like I'm trying to replace Dave - not like I want to just substitute him. It's just," she stopped and searched for the word. "It's compulsive. Like a hunger you don't even realize you're trying to feed. Dave was my blanket, and when he was gone, the world got really fucking cold."

Staring at the floor, Trish thought about Courtney's words. It should have been easier on the other side, moving on and letting go. But she understood the weight of the young woman's words more than she could ever admit to her new friend. "And you're just trying to stay warm."

Before she realized what she was doing, Courtney leaned forward and took Trish's hand in her own. She smiled when Trish greeted her eyes. "Thanks," was all she said before turning the television back on and returning to their previous game of mocking the plot.

But Trish was lost in thought. She had come to Courtney as a favor to Dave, but she had accidentally found herself stumbling into an irresistable friendship with this woman beside her. And that wasn't a good thing. At all.