Note From The Author-- Chapter two. Sorry it took so long. I used to have a life but my last semester in college ate it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer-- I don't own the characters
"How much longer can this keep going?" Derek asked.
Reid glanced up from his book and immediately followed the other agent's line of sight up to their boss' office. "I'm guessing about as long as it takes Emily to come back."
Derek shook his head. "I don't get it man. He's been weird ever since she left. Obviously there's something else going on."
"Why should that be? We all got the letters; we're all upset that she took off."
"Yeah, but not that upset." He spared another glance towards Hotch's office before he walked away. "I'm going to figure out what's up."
Garcia usually didn't mind the dry spells at the BAU; because BAU dry spells meant that she wasn't required to spend her days looking at blood pools and rape victims. Still she oddly found herself missing the business of their cases. With Emily across the pond trying to find peace and JJ on maternity leave Garcia was all too often bored to death. It wasn't that she wished for a serial killer to pop up, but some sort of activity would have been nice.
She should have known to be careful what she wished for. When Derek's voice calmly reverberated from behind her she knew she was in trouble.
"You know where she is."
Garcia slowly turned her chair so she could see him leaning casually in the doorway. "And if I do?"
"Baby Girl." His eyes were serious as he pushed off from the wall and walked into the room. "I'm worried about her.
"So am I, but there's a reason she left, Derek."
He pulled up a chair so they were eye to eye. "Can I make my case here?" he asked. There wasn't long to wait before she nodded and he continued. "Other than you, Emily is basically my best friend; and we both know that taking off this way isn't like her. I know something else is going on, and I know that it has to do with Hotch."
"I know you're worried gorgeous but everything that she told me was in confidence."
"I would never expect you to repeat any of it to me. All I want is to know how to get hold of her Garcia," Morgan almost pleaded.
Garcia sighed, torn between the worry she saw clearly written across Morgan's face and her sense of obligation towards Emily. "I'll tell you how to find her, but if you end up finding out what's going on with her it's going to be because she tells you," she said, pointing a finger at him.
Derek nodded. "Thank you Goddess."
In the little over two weeks since she'd left home Emily hadn't managed to resolve a damn thing. She was less stressed than she'd been in months and she hadn't gotten more sleep since before she started at the BAU; but try as she might she hadn't managed to fall out of love with her boss.
Nothing could beat the view of the city out of the picture window in her family's London flat; she sat in front of that window every morning with a cup of coffee and looked out at the city alternatively wishing she was back home with everyone she loved and wishing that she could stay away forever.
When the phone rang she expected her mother to be on the other line; not a lot of people had the flat's number. "Hello?"
"Hey Emily."
He was one of the last people she expected to hear from. "Derek?"
"Before you say anything else, Garcia gave me your number, but don't be mad at her. I talked it out of her because I was worried."
Emily sat back down by the window, sighing as she looked back over the city. "I'm not upset that she told you, but you don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."
Concern was evident in his voice when he spoke again. "Would you really have taken off if you were fine?"
"When did you start getting to the point that you knew me so well?" she questioned, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the window.
"Sometime after we discovered a mutual love of Vonnegut," he told her.
She couldn't help but laugh a little bit at that; then she saw the car sitting at the curb outside and her eyes widened somewhat comically. "Morgan you didn't."
There was a wave from inside the car as he spoke. "Yeah I did." At least he had the good sense to sound a bit sheepish. "And I brought Garcia."
"And this so wasn't my idea! I just gave him the phone number and the man found out exactly where you were behind my back!" Penelope called into the phone.
The tech's outburst made Emily laugh harder than she had in a long time. "Get out of the car and get in here then."
When they knocked she was already at the front door, and though her visitors were completely unexpected, she couldn't hold back the joy she felt when she saw them. It was only after hugs were shared all around that she leaned back to regard them with hands on hip. "What the hell brought you two here?"
Garcia and Morgan shared a quick look before turning back to their friend. "A woeful lack of serial killers in the Continental United States, frequent flier miles and lots of vacation time?" Garcia ventured.
"Concern," Derek provided.
"Well, that too."
Unable to keep herself from laughing again, Emily momentarily forgot why they were all standing there. "Seems like a good enough reason. Come on."
Hours later they had gone through a bottle of wine between the three of them and all of their sides hurt from laughing. "I wish you could have seen the look on Will's face when Reid starting spouting statistics about the number of diapers an average newborn goes through in the first year," Garcia told Emily. "It was hilarious."
"I wish I could have seen it too."
Derek knew there would never be a good time to change the subject, so he figured he may as well just go for it. "So why weren't you there to see it?" he asked.
The shift in the tone of conversation was so abrupt Emily was amazed she didn't get whiplash. Thinking carefully over her words, she set her wine glass down, insecurity showing in the way that she rubbed her hands over her jeans before she spoke. "I needed to get away Derek."
"Why, Em?" he questioned. "What happened?"
She shared a look with Garcia and shook her head. "It's complicated."
Morgan laughed a bit at that. "It's always complicated; all of us know that a little bit too well."
"True." She had to give that one to him. After taking a fortifying sip from her wine glass she decided to just tell him. He would only figure it out on his own if she didn't. "It's kind of hard to stop loving someone when you're around them all the time."
"Hotch," he said simply, nodding.
Emily's eyes went wide. "How…?"
Garcia had kept quiet up to that point but she leaned forward to pat her friend's hand reassuringly. "Don't question it, honey; the man knows all and sees all."
"Not all," Derek told them both. "But I'm good at my job."
She blew out a frustrated breath, her eyes narrowing. "Isn't there a rule about profiling your teammates?"
"Maybe," he told her with a grin. "But seriously Emily was leaving really the answer?"
"It was the only answer."
Garcia sighed. "Telling him is an option."
Pent up energy seemed to explode in her and Emily found herself up on her feet and pacing. "We talked about it Garcia. I could tell him, but where the hell could it go? He's…"
"Your boss," Morgan finished for her.
"Exactly." She shook her head. "I won't ask him to put himself on the line for me, and I'm not sure if I could do it for him."
"If he wasn't that important you wouldn't be here sweetie," Garcia said quietly.
Emily nodded. "Maybe you're right, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us."
"Even if he felt the same?" Derek asked.
She finally managed to stop moving, turning to look him in the eye. "The BAU means everything to him. I won't ask him to put himself in the line of fire with a fraternization issue. Besides, it's a moot point. He and I have had the discussion, and it's not going anywhere."
When Emily turned and walked into the kitchen Morgan shot a questioning look at Garcia, but she only shook her head. "Not my place, gorgeous."
Before he could say any more Prentiss was back in the room and the conversation was over. "Look guys, you're only here for a few days. Let's just have a good time while we can."
There wasn't much else Derek and Penelope could do other than agree.
They headed back to Quantico three days later and Emily drove them to the airport regretfully. She wished she was going home with them, wished they were staying; mostly she just wished that things were simpler again.
She hugged them both outside the security checkpoint, feeling conflicted. "You're coming home soon?" Garcia asked.
Emily nodded. "Soon."
"And how soon is soon?"
She laughed. "I'll be here a couple more weeks at the most." She squeezed Garcia's hand before releasing it. "There are a few more things I need to work through."
"Emily, you can't make yourself fall out of love with him," Morgan told her.
It seemed that the tears in her eyes couldn't be held back, so she just let them come. "I know that now, but I can figure out a way to live with it."
"There are better ways," he commented.
"Probably. This is all I know how to do Derek." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before stepping back. "You guys are already late. Give JJ and Belle a kiss for me and I'll see everyone soon."
They had turned away and started towards security when it occurred to Garcia and she turned back around. "Emily, what do we tell Hotch?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
With Garcia and Morgan safe on a plane home Emily couldn't seem to bring herself to return to her empty flat. Instead she ran every errand she could possibly think of. After running all over the city for three hours she ran out of things to do and decided it really was time to head back.
It took her another half an hour to get home, and another twenty minutes after that to put away everything she had brought home with her. Refusing to let herself feel the emptiness, she spent the next two hours cleaning the flat from top to bottom. When she was finished there wasn't a damn thing left for her to do, and after three days of laughter it suddenly struck her how completely alone she was in London. With her heart aching and everyone she loved thousands of miles away, she sank onto the window seat to look out at her gorgeous view of the London skyline in the fading light and gave herself over to the heart wrenching sobs she couldn't hold back.