Author's Note: If you are Christian, please note that I do not mean to offend in any way, however some people may find a line in the very first paragraph unsettling. So, yeah, if you we shadows have offended (quoting Shakespeare because sometimes I can't fucking help myself) I'm really sorry. Big Love to jkane180 for being the bestest beta ever. All Twilight refs belong to Stephenie Meyer (quotes from New Moon) and all Biblical refs belong to the old and new testiments. Blow job material provided dutifully by Mr. BellaFlan (wave to the nice folks 'Greggy') – He's totally scowling at me right now.
How could I sleep? Now that I knew the divine heaven of Edward buried inside of me, mental exhaustion would do nothing to quell my libido. The Second Coming of Christ's cock was sharing my bed.
Oh my god, I'm going to hell.
Where were these blasphemous thoughts coming from anyway? Surely the ceiling would open up and lightning would fricassee my ass if I allowed myself to think such things.
Furtively, I lowered my head, faking a sleep-sigh, so that I could get a better look at the prize I craved most. Everything was alright in my world when Edward was making love to me.
Thy rod and thy staff comfort me.
Stop it! Oh god, I hoped Edward couldn't read my mind right now because I'm certain my irreverent and sacrilegious mind ejaculatory would offend his frail, Victorian sensibilities.
But then again, he seemed more than happy to oblige any sick fantasy that Flanagan forced me to indulge in; except, really she didn't. If I was ever going to get well, I would have to take ownership over my actions.
Flanagan was a virus. She had infected me, and my personality would never recover. It wasn't like I had suffered through a car crash or something, and rehabilitation could help me overcome my injuries. My trauma was purely psychic. No amount of medication or therapy would ever mend my mind.
Would I ever become myself again?
An epiphany bitch-slapped me into submission at the thought of reverting to Meek Bella Swan the Martyr: I liked the person I was becoming!
Revelations were not commonplace and such a re-birth warranted the best kind of celebration I could think of.
My half-closed eyes widened. Edward adjusted himself slightly, his shirt rising and exposing the flesh above his underwear. Even in the darkness, I could discern the elastic band of his underwear that peaked out over the dark denim.
"Where's your mind at right now?"
I thought that I was being sneaky, pretending to be asleep. "I was trying to memorize your face," I explained lamely, staring at the bulge of his fly. "In case you disappear, I want to remember every line and shadow."
"My face is a little higher, baby."
"Yeah, well, I was working my way up."
"If you wanted to memorize my face you only needed to ask," Edward whispered into my ear, grazing my lobe with his cool tongue. "Shall I take my face out of my pants for you so that you can get a closer look?"
I sat up in bed and cupped his jaw in my hand. "You're so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at you."
"Without a doubt, Bella, you're the most beautiful and dangerous creature in the world."
"Um, thanks?"
His eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. After all, he had lived for nearly a century longer than me. What kind of experiences had enriched his immortal life already, and how could I ever hope to compare?
"You don't believe me?"
"Not really. How can I possibly compete with all of the stuff you've done? I mean, like what you must have seen and—"
"Bella," Edward interrupted me. "In all of my one hundred and eight years on the planet, I've never loved or wanted anything more than you."
"So... In all of your life, I mean, of all of the things you've seen and done, I appeal to you the most?"
"Mmm-hmm." He nuzzled into my ear and lowered his hand to cup my crotch. "Nothing compares to this," he said, using his male wiles and the velvet timbre of his voice to make me cream my panties.
"Edward," I moaned.
"I want you, Bella. I want to feel your mouth around my cock."
"What about my pussy? I thought it was comparable to one of the wonders of the world," I teased, "like the Grand Canyon or something."
"Wonder of the world?" he smirked his cocky, sideways smirk. "You want me to lick your Taj Mahal?"
"Yeah, but first I wanna memorize your face," I said, lowering my face to his dick.
-({})-
"Tell me more about Jacob," Flanagan demanded, pursing her cigarette between her lips so that she could type on her laptop. "How big is his unit?"
"Fuck off! I've never seen his unit... And what are you writing, exactly?"
"Your story, fuckwit. You've already lost most of your short-term memory and your sense of smell. A few more ECT treatments and rounds of SSRIs, and the hallucinatory wonderland your psychosis has created will be lost to the Pfizer fairies forever."
I huffed indignantly but decided I had nothing better to do than indulge her. It's not like anything she wrote would ever be read, and I was practically despondent to hang-on to my memories. Honestly, if one more doctor accused me of being deluded, I swear, I would breakout into a full-blown temper tantrum, complete with petulant foot stamping.
"I never saw his cock," I repeated though my teeth, even though the statement wasn't completely true, "but I know it would be huge."
Flanagan leaned forward and asked, "Oh yeah? How do you know?"
"There was this one time... I got hurt and he hugged me... I mean, my head was banged-up pretty badly, and he was shirtless, and I told him he was sort of beautiful..." I rambled.
"Dude, I saw his picture, and that's a gross understatement! I think you've told me this story before. This is the motorcycle incident, right?"
"Yeah, but I didn't tell you everything."
"Well, what happened?"
I swallowed nervously at the memory. "Well, like I said, he hugged me really close, and I suppose he became rather aroused when I hugged him back..."
"Oh, yeah?" She leaned in closer to me. "How aroused?"
"Um, the kind of aroused that men get when they, you know, get hard." The last word was a whisper.
"Oh, yeah?" she repeated, her eyes becoming all pupil.
"So, yeah... He was holding me against his chest, and he wasn't like, wearing a shirt or anything. He wears these, um, low slung jeans, and his erection poked out the top."
"Sweet!" she exclaimed, typing furiously. "Describe it for me."
"It was big and kind of purple. Also, it kind of twitched against me a little bit."
"Did he rub it up on you or try to dry hump you?" she stopped typing, waiting in earnest for my reply.
"Well, no."
"What did he do?"
"I pulled away, pretending I didn't see anything, and he kind of adjusted himself. The next time I saw his pants, er, everything was where it should be."
"Very interesting," she chided, taking on an Austrian accent. "How did zee penis make you feel?"
"Troubled," I admitted.
"Because you wanted to fuck him?"
"No... Maybe. I wanted something, but I wasn't sure what."
She passed me a cigarette, and I took a shallow drag, trying not to cough. I had tried smoking only once before, with Embry back in my destructive days at La Push, but the rez cigarettes were vile. The Du Mauriers that Flanagan smoked tasted much better.
"I can't believe you didn't fuck him. I'd be hitting that ass ten ways past Tuesday. Jacob Black wouldn't know what hit him. Speaking of which, I gotta go see a man about a blow job."
She passed me her laptop and stepped away from the curb to a car I didn't recognize. A hand shot out of the window, passing her a small bottle. She examined it and quickly ran around to the passenger side.
Flipping open the laptop, I decided it would be better for the power supply if I shut it off for her. I scrolled the mouse over the desktop and an open file caught my attention.
Bella Swan: Book of Revelation
He looked athletic and professional as he leaned over the handlebars, head low, face forward, his shiny hair whipping against the russet skin of his back. My eyes narrowed enviously. I was sure I hadn't looked like that on my motorcycle.
"Bella, I think you need stitches. I'm not going to let you bleed to death."
"Did you know, you're sort of beautiful?"
Maybe I should have fucked him. Flanagan would have done it, and she seemed to be handling her shit much better than I was.
Shivering at the memory, I shut down the computer and finished my smoke.
-({})-
"Bella," Edward groaned as his cool tip gained entrance into my mouth. "You don't have to do this, you know?"
Ignoring him, I fisted the base of his cock and drew him further into my mouth, feeling my own passion begin to throb between my legs in rhythm with each pass. He grabbed a handful of my hair, holding me still for a moment.
"Not good?" I asked, but since his dick was in my mouth, it sounded more like, "Naa gaaa?"
"Too good." He flipped me around so that my ass was seated on his face. "Bella, you do realize that as a vampire, I'm able to do many things at once very well. In fact, I'm certain that I can give you an orgasm with just the flick of my tongue." To emphasize his point, he tore my shorts open along the seams. "No panties?" His voice nearly cracked.
"No," I whispered against the head of his cock, barely licking the slit.
"Naughty girl!"
"Yeah."
"You're so swollen," he groaned.
"Sorry," I kind of squeaked, feeling ridiculous... And unbelievably horny. I probably shouldn't speak. My mouth went to work on pleasuring him again, sucking, licking and even biting along his shaft, taking cues from his grunts and groans as to what made him feel good. When I stroked his balls and added more teeth, he growled out a terrible sound, a guttural roar that sounded like I imagined he would sound while taking down his prey.
Oh, fuck, the sound went straight to my pussy.
With a renewed vigour, I bit and sucked and stroked, following only my instincts and the tenor of his cries as guidance.
All at once, his tongue was inside of me, bypassing my lips and vibrating at a supernatural pace deep within my sex.
The room echoed with choked cries, and it took me a moment to register that they were coming from me. Without breaking suction, I arched and stretched and grinded, trying to find the right pace, but I kept getting distracted from the job at hand.
Shit, I couldn't properly pleasure him while he gave me head.
"Stop!" I yelled, wrenching my neck to look at him. "Stop it, right now. We have all night for this so there's no reason at all to multi-task. Let me do this, Edward."
He kind of gawked at me for a moment and then nodded his head in a sullen relent.
I crawled off of his face and down his body, positioning my head between his thighs.
"Stop thinking so much, Edward. Stop worrying about me. Just let me love you, okay? Let me make you feel good."
A little choked grunt tore through his throat and he nodded again. I smiled and swirled my tongue around his tip.
"I love you, Bella."
"I love you, too. Tell me what you want, Edward." With a light stroke I pumped his length in my fist, ghosting my tongue over the head.
"Aahhh, I want you to suck me."
"Tell me more," I goaded.
"I want to come."
I pulled his leg between my thighs and pressed his knee against my slit. "I want to feel you explode in my throat," I said, because he needed to know how much I wanted this.
He groaned and I descended upon him at a relentless pace, not thinking about anything other than the sounds of his pleasure. He moaned loudly, and I used every muscle, every curve of my body to offer him friction; my mouth on his cockhead, my hands on his shaft and balls, my pussy riding his leg. The room was filled with nothing but the sounds of our ardour.
His voice became impossibly louder and more ferocious, his groans reaching a creciendo with my own. I felt his balls tighten under my finger tips, and the ever-increasing pressure stretching his column taut in my mouth and inside my fist.
For the first time, ever, I felt a pulse in his dick. His ejaculation coursed through his shaft in rhythmic pulses, his seed shooting into my throat, in warm, rather than hot bursts.
He was beautiful as he lay there, quivering from the orgasm I had delivered with my mouth.
"Bella," he moaned, almost helplessly. I crawled up his body so that I could snuggle against his chest.
"You've never looked so human before."
"You've never looked like more of an angel."
We both broke out into fits of giggles at his sad line. Even Edward Fucking Cullen can't get away with that kind of bullshit.
Author's Note: I've had trouble responding to every review recently, but I want to make sure that you know I absolutely read and get off on every one! Between work and real life, here's what I've been doing in the Fandom: hosting Monster-in-law contest with Katinki (my sister from another mister) and I'm participating in a podcast blog with jkane180, Twicharmed & AltheaJams called Fic Pushin'. There are links to these on my profile if you're interested. Becoming Bella Swan, is nominated for a Gigglesnort award for Best Bella! Voting is now open and there's also a link on my profile. Please press my button with a review? I've put my phone in my pocket in anticipation for some inappropriate love.