[Special author's note to spacecadet777: What can I say? You caught me! :) ]
The Divemaster recoiled as if Picard had suggested she perform a perverse sex act: he remembered too late that to ask so baldly for a prisoner's release was tantamount to starting a drunken brawl in a nunnery.
"My apologies for my hasty words," he said quickly, trying to swallow his rage at their treatment of Data - what the hell had the android done to warrant such a reaction? - "but you must understand that I was not expecting to see one of my officers treated in such a way. Please, I must know why he has been subject to this…to this punishment. I'm sure there has been a misunderstanding."
"I do not understand, Captain," said the Divemaster, her whispery tones reflecting genuine confusion. "You are saying you take full responsibility for this man and his actions?"
"Certainly I do," said Picard, without hesitation. "He's a member of my crew and under my command. His actions are my actions. Whether I would endorse those actions or not, I must take responsibility for them."
"I understand," the Divemaster said softly. "May I add that we were unaware of this? You must return to your cell immediately. We will bring this man into the subjugation chamber, and then you may be permitted to question him. Under close supervision, of course."
"Of course," said Picard. He would have agreed to a lot to simply get Data out of whatever situation he'd somehow managed to provoke. The sight of the android's damaged, unconscious body being carried off by a squad of guards was terribly distracting. Something in the Divemaster's words was niggling at the back of his brain, but he pushed it away. It was far more important to sort out this immediate problem.
He hoped he was imagining a certain additional coldness on the part of the guard, Abrin, as he was locked back into his comfortable cell. Diplomatic immunity, he thought. I wonder how far it will stretch? How small a slight before the lasers come out?
Good to their word, the Intracta brought the android up within an hour, locking him into a smaller room almost directly opposite Picard's. This cell, it seemed, had originally been a guardroom. Picard watched all the furnishings and fittings being removed rapidly to leave only the bare walls and the force field doorway. The lights came up, and two guards dragged the android's unmoving body into the room, leaving him lying on the floor with his back to Picard's cell.
The sight of the long, curling scorch marks along Data's spine made Picard's gut clench in anger. How badly was he damaged? Worf had indicated that the Intractan laser weapons were not as sophisticated as Federation hand phasers, but he hadn't seemed to doubt their efficacy.
"Data!" he shouted, though he had little hope of rousing an unconscious android. Abrin, outside his cell, said calmly (and perhaps a little apologetically): "Be silent, alien bringer of war."
The Divemaster herself, flanked by her advisors and an additional two guards, arrived ten minutes later, looking more composed than Picard felt. She indicated that the captain should be escorted from his cell to stand with her outside the force field of the cell opposite.
"Captain Picard," she said, "I need this to be clear to you as our prisoner. This man has committed a severe offence and our usual response would be to administer correction before deporting him from the planet. However, given the status of your visit to us and the fact that you have indicated your responsibility for his actions, we are aware of our need to handle this situation with caution."
"Thankyou," said Picard, trying not to sound as grim as he felt. "Starfleet appreciates your understanding. Is he badly hurt?"
"Our engineers are confident he can be fully repaired quite easily." The Divemaster's manner was unchanged: artificial life-forms were evidently neither here nor there. Prisoners were prisoners, regardless of their construction. "The damage is mostly superficial. We were uncertain of the weight of stun required to subdue him, and may have over-estimated."
"May I speak to him?"
"Once he is awake, Captain, we will both speak to him." The Divemaster looked seriously at him with her black eyes. "Prisoners may not confer with prisoners alone. Surely you understand that."
Picard nodded. "What of my other officer?" he asked, suddenly worried about Worf. If the mild and polite Data had somehow managed to drop a serious diplomatic clanger, surely Worf was at least in danger of doing the same. The Divemaster looked confused again.
"Your other officers are -"
In the cell, the android suddenly moved, sat up. All attention outside the cell was immediately on him. Picard managed to stall an involuntary step toward the force field. It fell to the Divemaster, as the prison authority, to make the first move, and he knew that.
Didn't stop it feeling wrong, though.
The willowy Intractan had moved forward to the force field, her guards keeping their weapons trained on the prisoner.
"According to prison regulations," she said, in as loud a voice as the Intractan vocal chords would manage, "Captain Picard has declared himself responsible for your actions. As he is the named representative of the Federation we hope to join, we wish to resolve any issues with Captain Picard as soon as possible."
The android turned wide golden eyes on the little group outside his bare cell. He glanced down his own body, taking in the missing clothes and the areas of damage, then fixed on Picard's concerned and grim expression.
"Oh," he said, one corner of his pale lips curling up in a sneer. "It's you. Can't you ever leave me in peace?"
Picard's artificial heart felt as if it had sunk into his knees at the sound of that familiar voice couched in those bitter tones. He'd made a mistake. A horrible, possibly career-breaking, crippling…
...ever-so-understandable mistake. Given the circumstances.
What are the chances…?
"Hello again, Lore," he said, softly, and saw the swift narrowing of golden eyes that confirmed he'd been quite right in his conclusions. He turned to the tall Intractan woman. "Divemaster, I really do need to speak to you urgently. In private. "
"Hey," snapped Lore, pushing himself to his feet. "I heard her, Captain. I'm your responsibility. Any talking you're going to do involves me."
"Lore, this is not the time," Picard bit back. "Divemaster, this is a case of mistaken identity. This man is my second officer's twin brother, and he -"
"Picard, you'd better start -"
"Not NOW, Lore! - and he is not in any way associated with me, the Federation, or my crew."
"Oh, but I am," said Lore, immediately, refusing to quiet down and (Picard noted with a inward groan) successfully dividing the Intractan leader's attention between them. "I am uniquely associated with the Enterprise. And I'm his responsibility. Entirely. With everything that entails."
The black eyes of the Intractan woman flicked to Picard once again as soon as Lore was silent.
"Captain," she said, and her tone made Picard's already sunken heart try to crawl into the toecaps of his boots. "I had hoped you were aware of the exactitude of our laws. You have declared this man to be yours, and so he is until you both leave our custody."
"I understand your need to be true to your legal requirements," said Picard, working very hard to keep his voice calm and level, especially with the spectacle of Lore smirking at him in the periphery, "but surely you have procedures for if a mistake is made. Please, go to your holding cells. Find Lieutenant Commander Data and bring him here. You will see very quickly the truth of what I am saying - that I mistook this man, Lore, for his twin brother Data."
"I'm afraid this is a serious irregularity, Captain Picard. We cannot afford any error, given the precarious nature of our application to join your Federation," said the Divemaster, quietly but firmly. "We will add this to the charge sheet against - " and she checked briefly with the guard at her side - "Lore Soong. Your name is now also attached to his charge sheet, Captain. Please stay within your cell until you are next sent for. You will have every amenity available."
Until such time as my privileges are withdrawn, thought Picard somewhat fatalistically, as he was politely shepherded back into his detention cell. The force field snapped up into being with a faint hum that was new: white noise blanket, Picard realised after a moment. He would now no longer be able to hear anything being said out in the corridor, and he certainly couldn't communicate with Lore, who was sat on the floor in his own cell, running a hand over the damaged areas of his back.
And much as I don't like the man, Picard thought, I would be extremely interested at this moment to find out just exactly what he's done.