A/N: I'm gonna be crazily drown in school work from now on so I won't update as quickly as before. But reviews will speed me up! XD Enjoy!

I Don't Hate You

Chapter 4: Rupture

"Derek says that neither of you brought any assets into the marriage," the lawyer said.

"Well, I have my trust fund," Addison told him. "And a sparkling personality... And the futon couch," she said and pointed cheekily at Derek.

"Yes, Addison had a very ugly, very heavy, futon couch," he told him and then looked at Addison with spite at the word "couch".

"Whatever happened to that couch?" she asked her soon to be ex-husband.

"We gave it to Mark. She can have him," Derek said, and Addison coughed and mumbled "I don't want him."

"Okay, well that's settled. What else?" Derek said.

"So, aside from Addison's trust fund, which remains in her name," the lawyer said, handing out documents to both of them, "we'll split everything stocks, bonds, 401K's down the middle. The only thing that gets complicated is the real estate."

"Let me make this simple. I'd like to keep my trailer and the land in Seattle, Addison can have the rest."

"Hold on," Addison said, lifting her finger.

"That is the house in Hampton's and the Brownstone over-looking central park," the lawyer said. "That's very generous, Dr. Shepherd."

"Thank you," Derek said.

"Hold on," Addison and emphasized her words a bit more this time. "You're up to something," Addison said, looking at him with scrutinizing eyes. "I came here to fight over CD's and books, go to war over a crystal vase. What are you up to, Derek?"

"The divorce is my fault. Let me take responsibility."

"We both had affairs," Addison said, leaning over the table.

"You had a one night stand with Mark," Derek said, looking down to the papers.

"Derek, actually... Well it was...," Addison tried to get out the words. The words of truth. But she had been holding back the truth for so long it felt only harder to actually pronounce them.

"Okay, it was two nights," Derek said quickly, not giving her time to actually form the sentence. "You made a mistake. Meredith and I, we had a relationship. Make these changes and I'll sign them today," Derek said with a final tone, handing over the documents to the lawyer.

~GA~

Addison paged Meredith, since she had her on her service. Feeling a bit nervous about the small possibility of her actually remembering their conversation and most importantly their kiss when she was drugged. She saw her standing talking to a nurse, asking for Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, and she said "Dr Grey, welcome back."

"Thank you."

"And, uh, it's just Montgomery now."

"What?" Meredith said, and looked up at her with confused deer-like eyes.

"My name. The divorce was finalized this morning, so... Montgomery."

Meredith didn't say anything, her mind probably processing those facts and thinking about Derek... He probably hadn't even told her yet, which was a bit strange, but the thought about Derek and Meredith brought Addison back to thinking about Derek's hands on Meredith's body. It didn't stop being upsetting. She glanced at Meredith and saw that her mouth was still opened, looking a bit glazed. She decided it was best to change the subject.

"I've been asked to consult on a case where a woman has a foreign object stuck inside of her."

Inside the room, there was a couple, or ex-husband and wife apparently, stuck together in a sex position. Telling them about how they hooked up once in a while, even though they were divorced and she was with someone else. Meredith looked really uncomfortable and just like Addison, she associated the situation with themselves.

Awkward.

When Addison finally could wrap it up, giving Meredith some tasks, she left the room to do some other work-related things.

Walking down the corridor, while filling out some charts, Mark caught up with her.

"Hey!"

"Hey," she greeted him back, feeling more okay with his presence there.

"So, who got the Brownstone?" he asked her.

"You heard?"

"People talk around here, I listen. Who got the Brownstone?" he asked again.

"None of your business."

"I left my bike in the basement. I just wanna know who to talk to to get it back."

"Buy a new bike," she said dismissively.

"You know, this angry divorcee-thing really turns me on."

She stopped walking, and took a breath and counted to five. She turned around to face him.

"I got the Brownstone. And you'll get your bike back when you come to your senses and go back home."

"Derek took the Hampton's? Derek hates the Hampton's," Mark said and drew his own conclusion of Addison's expression. "Derek gave you the Hampton's too? He still doesn't know the whole story, does he?"

"No."

"And as long as you don't tell him you get to be the good guy and I'm just the chump who seduced his wife for the hell of it. Real fair."

Damn it.

She had to tell Derek. She had to. She could not keep quiet any longer. Mark was right, she was just lying and that it was unfair both to Mark and to Derek. Maybe to herself too?

"Derek."

"Hey, you know what I like?" he said happily. "I like that we're civilized. Who said grown-up people who're divorced couldn't be friendly? We deserve a medal," he added, still smiling but catching up on her not-smiling mood.

"It wasn't a one-night stand," she blurted.

"What?" he breathed, not even a trace of his previous smile left on his face.

"Mark and I, it wasn't a one-night stand. I was in love with him, or at least I thought I was. After you left we lived together for two months. I wanted to believe that we could make it work, that I hadn't thrown my marriage away, that I hadn't thrown my life away on a fling. But he's Mark, and, well... I caught him with someone else and... And then Richard called, so... We both had relationships with other people. We're both equally liable... for everything. So please, take the Brownstone."

"All I want is Seattle," he said coldly. "I want Seattle and I want never to see you again."

His words pierced her as if he'd shot her. He walked quickly away and she took a ragged breath, trying not to cry.

~GA~

Mark came into her office.

"Mark," she started before he even had time to say hello. "I told Derek. He now knows the whole story," she said, not sounding happy at all.

Mark didn't look up at her until after she named Derek. Now his eyes were looking at her with a penetrating gaze, almost like a scientist in the search for a cure for AIDS.

"Stop looking at me like that," she mumbled and took self-consciously off her glasses.

"Addison," he sighed, tilting up her chin and stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. "It was good that you told him. He didn't take it very well, huh?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

He pulled her into a hug.

"You don't have to feel guilty anymore," he said against the curve of her neck toward her shoulder when he felt her keep her stance rigid even though he hugged her.

When he let her go she wiped away a tear.

"Oh, Addie."

"Mark, I can't commit myself to you."

"Since when did I ask for commitment? All I'm saying," he said and got that naughty twinkle in his eye, "is that you have no reason to feel guilty. So... I'm all free to snack on without any guilt or other Derek-angst-related feelings. That's all I'm saying," he said, lifting his hands up in a playful defeat and backing away.

She closed her eyes and turned away. She needed to bring herself together.

When she opened her eyes Meredith stood in front of her. She jumped and let out a sound of surprise.

"Hi," Meredith said. "Sorry for scaring you."

"No worries. You just kinda... popped out of nowhere," Addison said and rose from her chair. How much had she heard? Oh no, it would be too embarrassing and awkward and everything if she had heard that stuff. Meredith did not need to know about Mark and all that baggage.

"What did you hear?" Addison asked as she realized her facial expression already had given her away.

"Nothing. I came looking for you, saw Sloan walking away and here I am."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Addison lifted an eyebrow.

"What reason do you have to doubt me, Addison?" Meredith asked, getting a bit angry, or maybe her pride was just hurt. "I haven't done anything wrong"

Her pride, hah... Addison hardly worried about Meredith's pride. If anyone's pride was hurt it was Addison's. Her own freaking pride. She definitely should go to some self-help meetings to make herself more selfish.

These confusing, sidetracked and angry thoughts made her even more irritated with Meredith. And Meredith, crossing her arms and shooting out her jaw a bit, wasn't far behind on the angry-side.

"You've done plenty" Addison finally answered with annoyance, she certainly had done her wrong. "But I guess, that's okay," she continued with deep irony, "since you slept with Derek during prom, when we still were married, did you forget that?"

"I didn't sleep with him," Meredith said, her eyes hard on Addison's, refusing to show any weakness.

"Okay, you fucked him," Addison said, pursing her lips.

"I didn't!" Meredith reacted, breaking out of her stance of passive aggression and almost sounded like her feelings were hurt.

"Then, was it just Derek's black panties I found in his pocket? Because I think I would have noticed if he was drawn toward the allures of being a drag queen."

"Can you just quit it with the irony! I shouldn't even have to explain myself to you. Yes, maybe I've done you wrong, but who are you really fooling? Did you really think it would work out between you and him?"

Addison backed away, not realizing she did it, but she felt she needed some distance between Meredith and herself.

"I did not have sex with him," Meredith concluded.

Was she serious? Why did she keep the lying going? The anger simmered up again.

"You little bitch," Addison said coldly and then raised her voice, "Why are you lying about it?"

"I can't believe you just called me that, you, whore!"

Addison gaped at her.

"I'm trying to tell you something, but I should just stop trying, because you're just calling me names!" Meredith continued, so angry she hardly got out her words in any sensible way.

Addison walked closer to her, a part of her brain saying that her behavior was beginning to be uncomfortably high-school or caveman-like.

"Oh please, like you're anyone to talk, if anyone here is a whore, it's you. And on top of that, also a lying whore."

"You know what? Fuck you!" Meredith said as if she'd walk out of there, but didn't seem to want to back down.

Addison walked even closer into Meredith's space, who kept her back straight. Addison went closer until Meredith lost her patient and shoved her away from her, making her stumble backwards.

Addison looked at the other woman with a mixture of amazement and fury when she saw how she pushed up her sleeves, as if getting ready for a dirty, redneck fight.

Addison knew she was raised as a better woman than this. She was a fine lady. But right in that moment, she didn't give a fucking damn about her upbringing or even who she was.

Attacking Meredith, they went into some kind of slap fight, which ended with Addison pushing her down to the small sofa she had in her office, but then Meredith decided to go with ugly, girly tricks, since her strength didn't help her win the thing.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Addison yelped when Meredith pulled her hair, turning her around, making her go down to the sofa too.

Addison was extremely sensitive when it came to someone pulling her hair, brushing her hair... or getting stuck in it in some way. It hurt like hell, to put it simply. She couldn't help it, but embarrassingly enough tears began rolling down her cheeks.

She had to make the pain stop. So she bit her in her shoulder. Meredith let out a whine of pain, and pulled away from her teeth and pulled harder on her hair.

Addison began wiggling like a fish on land, so Meredith straddled her and got hold of one of her hands, and the other one she used to pull a strand of hair closer to her face, trying to hold her still.

"Can you just stop it now already?" Meredith exclaimed, but in an exasperated way.

Addison relaxed for a moment. Meredith relaxed for a second, and during that second, Addison snapped and got her hand loose, brought them to Meredith's sides and flipped her over on the couch.

Meredith looked furious, her hair had gotten loose from its rubber band, and her cheeks were flustered. Addison didn't care anymore, and she leaned in and kissed her hard on her lips.

She pulled back, saw that Meredith now looked more confused and shocked than angry and also realized she was half-lying on top of her in between of her legs too.

She practically jumped off of her.

They breathed for a second or two, Addison had time to make a tour around the room while trying to make her brain function and to tell her what the hell had just happened there.

"What the hell is going on in here?" the chief's voice suddenly boomed through the room.

She hadn't even heard him come in.

"I don't like to yell, but I've heard that some people have heard screaming from your office, Addison!" he growled, his hands on his hips. "Have you been fighting?"

Addison couldn't make herself say anything.

"Uhm," Meredith said.

"I need a better explanation than that! Have you been fighting?"

"Uh," Addison said, at the same time realizing her hair was a complete mess and her clothes needed some correction, so she tugged at the end of her skirt before saying "I think we need to not work together."

"This is my hospital and I'm way older than you are so don't tell me what to do!"

"Okay, I'm sorry," Addison said, jerking back by his agitation.

"You are a board certified neonatal surgeon! I expect more of you than this!"

Addison looked down at her feet, at the same time realizing her shoes had fallen off during the fight. She looked up again and mumbled sorry, but he just shook his head and then turned to Meredith.

"You are on her" pointing at Addison "service until I say you're not."

Meredith gaped. "But you can't do that!"

Addison had lost her words. Catastrophe. But she couldn't make the word form itself in her mouth.

"I'm the Chief, I can do what I want," Richard concluded, then turned around, muttering something about surgeons fighting in his hospital.

Addison stared at the door. She felt dumb.

"Uhh, I should go," Meredith finally mumbled.

"Yeah," Addison agreed and Meredith was out of there before you could even think chick fight.

After she left Addison sank down on the couch they just had had there not so little quarrel on.

It felt as if all her air had left her lungs and left her there, thoughtless, emotionless and empty. Maybe she should admit herself. Most probably to the psych ward in that case.