This is only an outtake. Happy Birthday to my beta Jess! Here's an Emmett outtake. Thanks to mac214 for beta'ing.
My pants clung precariously to my awesome ass. The double-sided tape probably wouldn't hold my jeans to the X of my Calvin briefs for much longer, but I didn't really give a fuck. This look was hot. From the walk through the parking lot to the hospital entrance, all the chicks gawked at me; they were warm for my form, salivating like feral dogs desperate to chomp at my bit.
I winked at an old chick, and she horked out a phlegm-infused shriek.
Oh.
I'd accidentally popped a hot dog stand.
Whatever. She loved what she saw: uncut, gargantuan, McCarty cock.
Oh, yeah. You like that shit, don't you?
Yeah, she wanted it. I could tell by the way she clutched at her chest and gasped for air.
"Emmett!"
"Wut?" I muttered distractedly.
Huh. She was turning blue. Humans weren't supposed to be blue, were they?
"Emmett! Over here!" A ridiculously large belt buckle momentarily blinded me. Well, shit. The last motherfucker on earth I expected to be at the hospital was sitting in front of the urgent care entrance, pretending to smoke a cigarette.
"'Sup, homeslice." I swaggered over to him.
"Your dick's hanging out," Jasper deadpanned.
"Yeah, totally," I agreed, looking down. "What time is it?"
"I'm not certain. Why don't you lie down and cast a shadow to find out."
"Everyone's a fucking joker."
He narrowed his eyes and pulled a cloud of smoke into his mouth while I stuffed my gun back into its holster, accidentally cocking it a little with my enthusiasm.
"Wait, did Bella call you too?"
Jasper shook his head and said, "Alice told me I needed to get out of the house but wouldn't explain why. Probably something to do with Bella, though."
"Is she as crazy as Carlisle says? I heard a rumour she flicked her bean in front of Eddie-boy." To be a fly on that wall . . .
"I will neither confirm nor deny that rumour." Jasper smirked, taking quick, shallow pulls off his smoke like a deranged pansy. "I'm here on an undercover mission. Did you know schizophrenics all smoke the same way?"
"Shut the fuck up." I punched him in the dick to get his attention. "What happened, man?"
Jasper lurched forward in pain, dropping the cigarette onto the pavement. "Bella . . . Flanagan. I don't fucking know!"
"If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess," I snapped, stepping on the still-burning butt. "Dude, you don't try to eat another man's mate. That shit ain't right."
"Fuck! The guilt is bad enough from Underthebedward. Now you're starting with me?"
I snickered at the Underthebedward crack and pounded my fist into Jasper's ass with the brute force of a gorilla - well, a vampiric gorilla because I was way stronger than an ape. "I own that ass, bitch. Too bad your pants are on."
"You know what I think?" Jasper asked suddenly, grabbing my wrist.
"I'm not browning my hot dog on your chocolate starfish, so don't even think about it, Pretty Lips."
Jasper scowled. "Nah, man. Alice is making me put a stop to that shit."
Well, fuck. My dick was fully erect now, and Pretty Lips had no intention of helping me out? Bitch, that was cold. "Bitch, that's cold."
"Sorry." But Jasper didn't look fucking sorry. "I bet Bella would be game - that is, if you catch her on the right day." The motherfucker had the audacity to laugh at the prospect of my banging her. So wasn't gonna happen. Bella was a sick cookie, and Edward would cut off my balls and hang them from his rearview mirror if I tried to touch her.
"Right . . . we'll just fuck while Eddie watches from under the bed." I palmed my junk. "Guess it'll be Palmella taking care of my business. Shit, I need to bust a nut."
"Um, pardon me for stating the obvious, but what about Rosalie? Have you thought about, I don't know, making love to your wife?"
"Bitch is on the rag."
Jasper's eyebrows shot up at that.
"The proverbial rag," I clarified. "If it was the bloody kind, I'd be licking that shit up like Christmas morning."
"Flanagan's not here, anyway," Jasper said suddenly. "Carlisle had to drag Edward home before he tore the hospital apart. The situation is beyond fucked up."
"The fuck? Carlisle managed to get his ass home? Bella asked me to do the same damn thing."
"He became unhinged after she took off, totally in the Flanagan personality."
"Well, shit. She's missing?" I craned my neck to give the grounds a cursory scan. "Crazy bitch couldn't have gotten that far on her own."
"Probably not, no. Carlisle suspects she ran away with another patient, whereas Edward is convinced she ran off with the dog."
"That sucks. Lover-boy will be waxing all emo again. Dude, if I have to listen to him threaten to beg the Volturi kill him again, I swear, I'll put him out of his misery myself."
"Yeah, well, that's not all. Alice said Bella's future disappeared."
"What does that even mean?" I was only half-listening now. A curly-haired brunette had emerged out of the front of the building, all perky tits and pouty lips.
"Why am I always expected to translate Alice's cryptic messages?" He sighed languidly, practically swooning.
"Chillax, prom queen. No need to get your Mason Dixon all bent out of shape."
"For sweet Baby Jesus' sake: I'm Texan, not Virginian."
"You're a girl." I dug another Virginia Slim out of his pocket and lit the fucker. "See that hot little number by the curb?" I asked, pointing to Perky Tits.
"Yeah?"
"Use your Jedi Mind Tricks to make her panties wet. I think I'm in the mood for some pink." I flicked his pretty mouth with my thumb and index finger and placed the smoke between his lips.
"You're sick, man."
I flipped him the bird and stuck my hands down the front of my pants. "Don't be jealous. You know I'd ride you like a bitch if Alice wasn't using your dick as a leash for your balls."
Jasper yelled a string of southern obscenities at me - something about grits and yankees, with another mention of sweet Baby Jesus. Fuck if I cared. I had my eyes on the prize - well, the prizes to be exact. Perky Tits was cutting glass; the poor thing must've been cold.
I swaggered down the lawn and over to the curb where she sat, taking slow, long, sexy steps and making sure my shirt lifted enough so she could check out the washboards. Problem was, she wasn't looking at me at all. She seemed to be looking down at her shirt. I couldn't really blame her. If I was her, I'd be staring at my titties too.
I could hear Jasper laughing about something, and that sweet, young thing squirmed a little, jiggling her jugs just right. She licked her lower lip and took a slow sip from a Styrofoam cup.
"Excuse me," I growled into ear, peering down her V-neck sweater and enjoying the view.
"Fuck!" She jumped up in surprise, spilling the coffee down the front of her shirt. The rack I'd been admiring was soaking wet. "Ow, shit."
"Was that hot?"
"Yeah, it's coffee. Of course it's hot." She rolled her eyes and fisted the front of her sweater into a ball, trying to hold it away from her chest.
"I have a spare shirt in my car . . . it'll be big because I'm a massive beast of a man, but at least the ladies will be dry."
Finally, Soggy Tits looked at me, her eyes widening in surprise. "O-okay. Sure, I guess. Whatever."
"I'm Emmett." I offered her my hand, pulling her onto her feet.
"Jessica."
"Are you a patient here, Jessica?" I flexed my pecs to the beat of Bad Romance and wiped a bead of drool that had formed on the corner of little Jessica's mouth.
"I have discharge . . . shit, I mean, I was discharged. I'm here for a blow job. Fuck me, no, I mean an appointment. A follow-up boning."
"Boning?" I grinned, showing off the dimples. All chicks dug the dimples.
"Cock."
"Um . . . yes?" What the fuck, man? I saw Jasper, still sitting by the front entrance, laughing hysterically. He needed to turn that shit down. Poor Perky Tits was about to explode, and I hadn't even touched her yet.
"I keep saying the wrong thing," she whimpered, hiding her face in her hands.
"Nah, Jess. I think you're adorable." I lifted her into my arms, and she glommed onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips. "You certainly are friendly."
"Not usually," she muttered into my shoulder. "I don't know what's come over me."
"Don't worry about it, kitten. I'm gonna take care of you." I carried that hot piece of ass back to my Jeep Wrangler, trying not to come in my pants while she wriggled against me, mewling into my neck.
"Please," she moaned, and I opened the door to my Jeep.
"Please what, Sugar Tits?"
"Please, fuck me."
"Yeah, baby. You want my big vampire cock inside your little pussy?"
"Vampire cock?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Ah, shit."
"Are you a patient here, Emmett?"
"Um . . . yeah. I'm delusional or whatever. I think I'm a vampire."
"Fuck me, Damon." She lifted her wet shirt over her head, and I was momentarily blinded by her headlights.
"Wait, who the fuck is Damon?"
"From the Vampire Diaries," she explained and grabbed my cock, pulling me with her into the back seat.
"Fuck." I bucked into her hands, trying to be as careful as possible with her fragile, human hand. I didn't want to break her wrist with my dick. Hey, it had happened before with another human chick.
"Damon," she moaned.
"Emmett," I corrected.
"No, Damon, my name's Jess."
"Jess," I agreed, unbuttoning her jeans.
"You're so fucking hot. Like a Calvin Klein model." She shimmied her pants down her legs, taking her tiny panties with them.
"I know, right?" I smirked. "I'm way hotter than any of those assholes on the billboards."
"Shut up and fuck me, Damon."
I held her hips in place while she arched off the seat, trying to sheathe my missile in her silo. I just needed a second to handle my shit. If I plunged in right away, I'd blow.
Bending her legs up gently, I placed cool, open-mouthed kisses along her calf, her knee, the inside of her thigh, stopping just shy of her bare pussy lips. She smelled so fresh . . . so young.
"Please," she begged. "I can't take it."
It took me a second to notice she was using her legs to push my face into her cunt. I gladly obliged, talking a long lick of her entire slit before settling onto her love button, my nose pressing into her pubic bone. She tasted like blood and sex - my two favourite things - all sweet and musky at the same time.
I wanted to plunge my fingers inside of her pink, but they were probably too cold. Any appendage I inserted into her love canal had to be warmed up properly so she wouldn't suffer from muscle spasms.
"Suck my cock, kitten. It needs to be heated up." I was a gentleman, after all.
"Oh, god, Damon. I was hoping you'd let me do that."
I had to admit, the Damon thing was starting to grind my gears a bit, but as I watched her flip onto her stomach and crawl between my legs, I realized she could call me Sally for all I cared.
"Your dick's hanging out," Jess told me.
"It gets so lonely in my pants."
"Poor thing." She wrapped her hand around my meat, while I kicked my pants off.
"Yeah, that's right, kitten. You love that shit, don't you?"
She parted her pouters and drew my dick into her mouth like it was a fucking lollipop, humming in response to my question - hence the term hummer. It took all my will power not to skull fuck her as I held her face in my hands. Her mouth was hot heaven, sucking and licking down my shaft, only to pull it back over her tongue again. Kitten took her time, rolling and tickling my balls in her hand, licking the underside of my head and gently biting along the glans.
"That's enough, kitten," I told her, pulling her head back.
"But I'm not done," she pouted.
"No you're not," I agreed, pulling her onto my lap. "Sit on it, Jess. I want to pound you until you scream. I want to show you that once you go sparkly, you never go back."
Thank fuck she didn't question the sparkly quip. She was too busy positioning her muff on my cornholer. Her slit was like warm, honey pie against my banger. I buried myself inside of her easily, holding her hips so I could piston her.
"Wait . . . let me." Jessica proceeded to bounce up and down on my jimmy like it was a goddamn pogo stick.
"Aw, shit, prom queen. I'm gonna blow."
"Just a little more, Damon."
I really fucking hate that name!
I held onto her luscious boobies, rolling her nipples between my fingers while she showed her rhythm, pulling me inside of her as deeply as she could, twisting her body to angle my rod where she liked it best. "Right there," she groaned. "Oh, fuck, yeah, I'm coming!"
Her cunt contracted around me, strangling my dick like it was pissed off at it.
"Fuck, yeah, kitten. Hold still while I toss my yogurt."
"Emmett!" a voice - not Jessica's - yelled from outside the Jeep.
"Huh?"
"His name's Damon," Jessica called over my shoulder, dismounting.
"Open the door, asshole!" Aw, shit. It was Flanagan.
"I'm not finished," I moaned. "Get lost."
"I'm sorry, tiger," Jessica said suddenly. "I don't make the rules. This is Flanagan's dream."
"That's right, bitch," Flanagan said, curling up against Jess. "And Simon says it's my turn to play with the kitten." She stroked her hair, whispering into her ear, "Want to try something different? Emmett can watch."
"Where's Edward?" I asked cautiously.
Flanagan rolled her eyes at me and said, "Under the fucking car. Where else?"
A/N Just a bit of fun! Thanks so much for reading, and if you'd like other outtakes posted at some point, please let me know :)
My current fics are Stigmata Tomato and In the Shadow of Your Heart.
Happy Birthday, Jess!
Big Love! Flanny xoxo