I Don't Hate You

Chapter 8: Date Night

They ended up on the floor, not to comfortable, they realized. But it was fun and different.

"Oh my god, Mer, we are like two teenagers," Addison smiled and made Meredith roll on top of her instead. They had been doing quite a bit rolling. It was fun to roll she realized.

Meredith giggled. "Yeah, we are. We haven't done this before, we have to start all over again, at the teenage-part."

"Like virgins," Addison said, rolling on the R like the French.

The next moment the phone started ringing. Meredith made a face.

"You should take it," Addison said, putting herself in half-sitting position, Meredith straddling her. Keeping their stance, Meredith reached out for the phone and pressed a button, not seeming to bother to pick up.

"It could've been important," Addison said, kissing Meredith's neck.

"They'll leave a message," she said, pushing down Addison on her back. "You wanna go again?"

The message machine made a shrill sound and then Cristina's voice boomed through the room.

"Oh my god, Mer! I can't believe you hung up on me? What are you doing? Was Satan being mean so you're sitting in a corner crying or having some other lame kind of reaction?"

"She's uhm... Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Meredith said, the color fading from her face.

"Anyway, I was just calling you to tell you that She-Shepherd called you by your first name. So, I demand to know what's going on between you. Hey, you told me about all the McLesbian emotions you've been having and the Schizophrenic kissing and then the dirty McSex..."

"You told her everything?" Addison gasped.

"Yeah... But not everything-everything... She's my person, y'know," Meredith said, clearly embarrassed.

"McLesbian emotions? You really do have to put a Mc before everything, do you?" Addison smirked, rolling over Meredith under her, then rising to her feet to take the phone.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked.

Addison put the phone to her ear and said "Dr. Yang," with a confident smirk on her face.

Yang gasped in the phone. "Uhh! Dr. Montgomery! You're still there..."

"You know I'm not the She-Shepherd anymore right?"

"Look, I'm sorry about that, that won't happen again."

"And, don't call me Satan," she said sharply, then made a theatrical pause. "I prefer to be called The Ruler of All That Is Evil."

Meredith laughed loudly from the floor.

"Hey, what are you two up to?" Yang demanded, realizing she was being played with.

"We've been having extremely dirty kitchen sex, so I guess you'll never want to eat here again."

Yang was quiet on the other end of the line. Addison wondered if she'd dropped the phone.

"Dr. Yang?"

"Yes, Dr. Montgomery," she managed to say hoarsely.

"If you tell anyone, anything, I'll make sure you'll never see the inside of an OR at Seattle Grace for the rest of your internship here."

"Okay," she whispered and Addison hung up on her.

Addison turned to Meredith, who was still laughing some.

"You shouldn't have been so mean to her! Now she'll kiss your ass until you have to kick her away 'cause she annoys you so much."

Addison smirked, looking down at Meredith's very naked body, which she wasn't making any effort at all to cover up. She went to the fridge and looked for something edible.

"Chocolate sauce?" she proposed, winking at her with a bottle in her hand.

"There's ice cream in the freezer," Meredith said with a mocking smile on her far too cute face.

~GA~

It wasn't just about sex. It was easy for Addison to know, because she had done both kinds. Comparing Meredith to Mark... They were just miles apart. At least, she had thought she was in love with Mark once... But it had never made her feel like she did now.

Addison dropped her bag just as she was about to put her feet inside of the hospital, spilling out it's content on the rainy curb. She was in shock.

She was definitely falling for Meredith Grey. But it was worse, she was in love with her.

"Oh, Dr. Montgomery, I'll help you," said O'Malley, showing up behind her.

"Oh, it's okay," she said, reacting on the present and bent down to scramble up make-up, tampons, her cellphone, wallet and some lingerie. O'Malley looked embarrassed. "You can go. Thank you," she said to him and he seemed happy to go.

Getting to her feet, she wondered what she'd do. Also realizing that Meredith hadn't said anything about breaking up with Derek. Derek seemed to think they were a couple, even if it wasn't necessary that Meredith agreed.

Addison didn't want to be the one to split them up. She didn't want to be that woman.

Seeing Mark, she grabbed him and pushed him into a supply closet.

"Wow, Addie, changed your mind?" he said with a dirty glimpse in his eyes.

"No," she said, slapping away his hands that seemed to want to feel her up. "I need your help."

"But not sex?"

She glared at him. "Your advice."

"Huh."

"I've been sleeping with someone."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Is it Karev? It's pretty obvious he's got the hots for you," he said indifferently. He was such a manwhore.

"It doesn't matter I said!"

"Uh, okay, chill it, Addie. Tell me. Uncle Mark is listening" he said, crossing his arms, as if getting ready to concentrate.

"How do I not have feelings for this person?"

"Uhm, that's not really a question I can answer."

"How do I keep it casual?" she continued, ignoring his answer.

"You just... keep it casual," he shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "I don't know Addie! You just have to see it for what it is. But, we both know that you're not a casual kind of girl. You're a marrying kind of girl, so if this guy isn't a marrying kind of guy, you should break it off. That's my professional advice."

She bit her lip. "Thank you," she said and hugged him. "I have to go, I have surgery with Derek," she sighed.

"He's not the one you've been sleeping with right?" Mark asked suspiciously.

"No, silly," she said and went to scrub in.

When she was changing her clothes to her scrubs, she got a text message on her phone. Picking it up, she saw that it was Meredith.

We never had time to go on the date. Meet me tonight?

Addison smiled to herself.

~GA~

Date-night. She hadn't been on a date since...well, since...could she count the fling she had with Mark as dates? Or did she have to go back to med school when she met Derek?...That just felt depressing.

But, it reminded her of her complete ignorance to what to wear. Meredith hadn't mentioned where they'd be going. She had said ten o'clock, so that wasn't a dinner time. Maybe she wanted to go have a drink or go dancing or something. She needed clothes that could move. Clothes that showed off her good parts, but not looking too much or too little.

She sighed. It was hard to be a woman sometimes.

She had a thing for shoes so she had bought a new pair for this occasion. Now she just needed something to match the shoes...

An hour later. She was putting on make-up, listening to some music to get in the mood. She had chosen a simple, but lusciously fashionable, blue dress. It showed off her legs and her breasts and the skirt could make a nice flow if she wiggled her hips. She slightly curled her hair, keeping it loose.

Perfect.

Someone knocked her door just as she finished the look with some lipstick. Obviously it was Meredith. Who else could it be?

She tip-toed like a child on Christmas to the door, opening it, feeling her smile stretch from ear to ear.

"Hey, Addison."

Her smiled disappeared.

"Derek," she breathed. "Uhm, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. As a friend," he said, sounding miserable.

"Yeah, sure, yeah," she stuttered, then jumping aside to let him in. "Come in."

"Are you going out?"

"Yeah..." she said, pulling back her hair behind her ears, realizing she'd have to text Meredith to tell her not to come up to the hotel room.

Derek went directly and sat on her bed.

She closed the door and went to the desk where she'd put her cellphone.

"You look nice," Derek said, his eyes seeming to look at her for the first time, too caught up in his own misery to actually notice anything around him.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she texted Meredith not to come up because Derek was there with some kind of crisis. She put back the phone and went to sit next to her ex-husband.

"So, how are things?" she asked, putting her hands on her knees. Feeling a bit stiff.

"I thought Meredith and I were going somewhere," he said and made a pause, waiting for her to react.

"Uh-huh," Addison said, as she didn't dare to say anything else.

"But now I don't know. I can feel her slipping away from me, Addison," he said, pulling his fingers through his hair.

"Uh... Why is that?" Addison asked, remembering she'd told Meredith to not tell Derek, that he's a sensitive little thing. Her conscience made her stomach churn. She caused this?

"I think she's having an affair," he whispered.

Addison, the home wrecker.

"I'm, I'm so sorry Derek," she said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Yeah," he said. "It's so common and cruel... And I guess I deserve it... After what I did to her... To you..."

His eyes were tearing up. She hugged him. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was about Meredith too, but she couldn't. She just couldn't.

"I'm sorry too Derek."

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago, Addie," he said and they ended the hug. "Who cares about Mark?" he concluded, smiling slightly.

Addison couldn't make herself smile. She didn't think about Mark at all. And he was also right, she didn't care about Mark.

Her cellphone beeped. She got up and looked at the message from Meredith.

What's he doing there? Tell me when he leaves, Ok? xx

This didn't actually help to give relief to the terrible state of her conscience.

"Is it your date?" Derek asked.

"Uhm..."

"You can tell me Addie."

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I guess I should be going so you can get on with your life," he said and got to his feet.

"Derek. I want you to... I want you to know that I want you to fight for her."

"What?"

"Meredith. You should fight for her. Don't let her do what I did to you...," she mumbled.

He smiled at her, his eyes sad. "Kay," he said, and then gave her a quick, friendly peck on her lips, before he left the building.

If reality was as she believed reality to be, he'd have tasted Meredith on her lips. Seeing the guilt in her eyes. Realizing everything.

But he didn't.