Thanks for sticking with me guys! I'm hoping my next update will be less than a week away this time! This chapter features the lyrics from Sufjan Steven's "To be alone with you" give it a google if you don't already know it :) also please review, I'm open to any criticisms or suggestions that you have

Peeta pins me to the bed by my shoulders and I squirm beneath him still unable to control my laughter. As I look up into Peeta's piercing blue eyes I am startled by the sudden change in his expression, his sky blue eyes grow grey and cloudy and my shoulders start to ache as he presses more and more of his weight upon me.

I am trapped beneath his weighty trunk, frozen with fear as his body starts to shake violently above me. Peeta's hands close into fists around the curvature of my shoulders, his nails digging deep into my skin. I involuntarily cry out in pain as I feel blood start to trickle from the taught and tender scar beneath his left hand.

I try remain still and silent, hoping that the episode will end soon but I cannot help but scream when I feel his fingers dig further into my now open skin. The pain sparks flashbacks of when Johanna dug the tracker out of me in the woods, the vivid memory clouds my mind and I start to feel queasy.

I black out just as I hear the bedroom door swinging open.

I awake to an empty bed and a blinding headache. I am in a fresh cotton nightie and I can feel the compression of a bandage on my tender shoulder. I glance at the bedside table through hazy eyes; a glass of water and two large blue pain pills lay just out of arms reach. I stare at the trio willing them to move towards me. I stare until my eyes sting and start to water but of course they remain still.

After a few more moments of intent staring I begin to move. I prop myself up onto my elbows, groaning at the ache above my right shoulder blade. I knock back the pills and wince as they scratch my raw throat on the way down. I slip the night dress from my stiff shoulder and peer at the small bandage that is revealed. I peel the sticky bandage from my skin and gaze at the four small rips in my flesh, each one held closed by a solitary stitch. I sigh softly as I replace the bandage, four more scars to add to the countless others that adorn my damaged body.

Sae appears silently in the doorway with a bowl of steaming soup. She places the bowl on the locker and replaces the blue pills I had taken with two purple ones from her pocket. "These are stronger" she says with a wink as she turns to leave the room. "Where is he?" I croak the words escaping in a raspy breath. "I sent him home" she says simply as she hobbles out of the door shutting it firmly behind her.

I ignore the soup but take the pills, relishing the feeling of the low dose of morphling as it courses through my tender veins. The pills make me drowsy but I fight them to stay awake, knowing that the morphling will send me comforting hallucinations, usually of Prim or my father. Johanna taught me about this joyous side effect before she went cold turkey back in 13. Abusing morphling was the only way she could remember the loved ones Snow stole from her.

I have been careful not to grow dependant on the substance and I have avoided morphling since returning to 12, but tonight I relish the prospect of the mental and physical relief.

Sure enough Prim does come, a younger Prim than the one that left me that fateful day in the Capitol. She dances into the room holding fathers hand. Father sits down on the chair in the corner as Prim climbs into bed beside me. They are silent, as they always are, but their presence fills me with a serenity that warms my hardened core.

As I finally succumb to the siren of sleep a shimmering mirage of Peeta enters my visions. He limps across the room, his golden hair sparkling like fireflies and replaces the similarly glowing image of my father in the rocking chair. A soft melody and an almost inaudible voice lulls me in to the final depths of sleep and the sound of angel's wafts in and out of my vivid dreams.

!I'd swim across Lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your ghost
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

I've never known a man who loved me"