A/N: I never intended Alex to become so annoying, it just happened! XD

I Don't Hate You

Chapter 10: A New Way

They didn't talk after that, unless they worked of course, mutually embarrassed of all that had happened between them.

But about a week later Meredith came in to her office, even tough she wasn't on her service that day.

"Addison, can we talk?" she asked her, having brought two cups of coffee, one of which she put down on her desk, then staying by her side.

Addison removed her glasses and said "Of course."

"You haven't talked to me."

"You haven't talked to me either," Addison replied.

Meredith bit her lip. "I miss you," she said.

Addison swallowed. "You see me every day."

"It's been all weird since our date."

"I know."

"Why?"

"If you wanted to talk to me you could have," Addison said, aware that she sounded dismissing, but she couldn't help but feel bitter about how it turned out and the thought of Derek made her throat feel like acid. She took a sip of the coffee.

"I broke up with Derek," Meredith said quietly.

Addison almost choked on the coffee and then she couldn't get any sound coming out from her mouth at all.

"I was meaning to tell you."

Addison swallowed, glad the coffee hadn't shot out of her nostrils. "Since when?" she succeeded to ask.

"It's been five days. He hasn't gone to work."

"I thought he was camping."

"Nope. Drinking by the trailer."

Addison nodded, and then smiled.

"You did that for me?" she asked.

Meredith nodded and smiled shyly.

"I didn't even ask you, we weren't even together and you still broke up with him," Addison said.

Meredith shrugged.

"You make me feel," she said. "And I miss you, and I've been so stupid."

Addison lifted her eyebrows.

"And you're so annoying to work with," Meredith said, standing up without taring her gaze away from her.

"Why?" Addison breathed as Meredith walked over to her.

"You're beautiful," she said, "and amazing,"

Addison thought she should say something, before she chickened out mostly, but she only had time to open her mouth when Meredith dived in and caught up her lips with hers.

Addison was shocked by this behavior, which didn't really seem like Meredith, but feeling Meredith's lips again, her scent, just having her so close, made her melt quickly and her composed speech was completely forgotten.

"I've really missed you," Meredith breathed against her mouth.

It woke a hunger inside Addison, when Meredith went up like that on her toes to kiss her and pressed her body against Addison's. It woke something savage within her. She needed to feel Meredith more. She needed to feel everything, all of her. She pried her mouth open with her tongue her hands trailing down Meredith's waist to her ass. Gripping tightly. Hungrily.

She found the edge of Meredith's scrub shirt and pulled it over her head, began kissing her shoulder, pushed down the strap of her bra, forgot about being careful with creating hickeys and kissed just as furiously and demanding as she needed to, let the bra loose with one hand. Meredith shrugged it off, eager to let Addison kiss her breasts, her hands intertwining in the redhead's hair, letting out her carefully arranged hairdo.

It felt like it had been so long, ages, lifetimes, since she'd felt her the last time. Addison kicked off her shoes, and became more leveled with Meredith's height. Meredith struggled with unbuttoning her blouse, their lips still locked together. Addison untied Meredith's scrub pants, then let Meredith brush off the blouse, unzipping the skirt, pulling it down.

Pushing Meredith down on the bed, laying herself on top of her, putting her leg between her thighs. Grinding herself against her hipbone. Kissing her neck, leaving stamps on her skin.

"I want you," Meredith whispered against her ear. "If you want me..."

Addison brushed away her hair which was falling in the way, and looked at Meredith. Her mouth was open, her eyes were hazy, darkening.

"Yes, yes, I want you," she moaned in a couple of breaths, not caring that she sounded needy.

With her right hand she stroked Meredith's cheek, let her thumb slip into the corner of her mouth. Meredith closed her eyes and Addison's nerves jumped when the tip of her thumb was licked by the younger woman. She let her hand trail down her neck, to her chest, her breast, her stomach, her hip to slip down inside her boy-shorts, inside of her.

Meredith began moaning pretty loudly with the combined thing she did with her thigh and fingers.

"Shush," Addison said softly against her ear, while there, she nibbled and licked on her earlobe along the helix. It felt so right, it would be so right. They were so right.

"Be with me, for real this time. No more sneaking around," she whispered.

Meredith didn't answer, but swung her over by taking a grip around her waist. She took off her boy-shorts and then rolled off Addison's pantyhose and her very sophisticated Calvin Klein underwear. She straddled her and took the control.

"Meredith?" Addison asked, feeling worried by the fact that her words were left hanging in the air.

Meredith sighed in defeat and stopped caressing her and gave her a scrutinizing look.

"I don't wanna say anything because when I do answer I'm gonna ramble and then I've screwed this moment up, and I really don't wanna screw it up because I really... I'm stopping there."

"Meredith, you've already screwed it up," Addison chuckled nervously and gave her a quick kiss. She pondered if she should be scared by Meredith's words, but she thought it would be better to keep on the bright side. After all, it was Meredith who had started their whole conversation.

Meredith laid herself down beside Addison, putting her hands under her head.

"You can ramble now if you want to," Addison said helpfully, because Meredith seemed to have difficulties with getting the words to come out of her mouth.

"You make me feel all these things," she began. "All these bubbly and happy things. I don't know why, and I sure didn't ask for it, but I feel it. And I want to say all these bubbly things that bright and shiny people say to one another, but it scares me that I feel it, because I'm not normally a bright and shiny person," Meredith said and made a pause, biting her lip.

Addison shuffled herself closer to her, taking a grip on Meredith's thigh and putting it around her waist. She caressed her soothingly, stroked away some hair from her cheek.

"I totally forgot what I was saying," Meredith whispered.

"Something about not being shiny."

"Right. Thanks," Meredith said, pursing her lips together, trying to concentrate.

"You're super cute when you do that," Addison said and leaned in to kiss her.

"Are you falling in love with me?" Meredith whispered after a moment of hesitation.

"Yes. Definitely," Addison answered, her smile growing broader than it were meant to. "Are you?"

"I'm scared to get hurt," she whispered with big eyes. "I don't want to be left. I couldn't leave Derek because I was afraid to be alone, and I was afraid that you'll leave me too... I mean, why wouldn't you... And I'm sorry I cheated on you with him, it must have hurt you."

"Yes it hurt... But I don't know if I'd call it cheating since I was aware of the fact... And I do want to be with you, maybe that helps some with the pain... The pain for both of us. I am falling for you, Meredith. I've already fallen. I'm just continuing to fall, no matter what I do to prevent it. And I'm in love with you, Meredith."

Meredith suddenly sat up.

"What? What is wrong?" Addison asked, finally alarmed, and popped herself up on her elbows.

"I just have to say this. Before we get into something you'll regret. You have to know that I'm messed up, I'm damaged and dark and twisty and strange."

"Uh-huh," Addison said, not taking her rambling seriously.

"Addie," she whined like a child. "I don't want you to change your mind."

"I won't," she said and let her hand trace the lining of her sweater.

"You would if you knew, the guys I've slept with... The family I sort of have."

"Sort of?" Addison chuckled, taking a grip around Meredith's waist and pulling her on top of her.

"I'm serious. Seriously. You haven't met my parents," she said the word parents with reluctance.

"Well you haven't met mine either, right?" Addison asked, while stroking Meredith's bare back.

"I'm messed up."

"Because of the guys you've slept with or because of your family or something else?"

"Everything," Meredith breathed.

"I'm not afraid of you," Addison smirked. "You can be how dark and twisty as you want with me," Addison said but Meredith didn't look reassured, so she added "Meredith, we all have messed up families. My family is much more messed up than yours, I promise you."

"No way."

"You really want to compete?" Addison sighed.

"I'd win," she said and frowned. "But I don't want to talk about the family stuff yet..."

"Me either."

"Fine, so you're probably going to freak out if you knew about all the inappropriate boys."

"You're telling me? I'm after all the girl who screwed her husband's best friend and then his girlfriend," she said meaningfully.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Seriously."

"You've said that word too many times for it to keep its meaning."

"Seriously," Meredith repeated, but with a bit more force. "Like, how many people have seen you naked?"

"Eleven. Twelve with you."

"I win. By far..."

"Like I care that you're a slut," Addison joked.

"You're not funny."

"Then why are you smiling?" Addison said before she crashed her lips together with Meredith's.

~GA~

Addison woke up by the shrill sound of a beeping pager.

She opened her eyes and saw Meredith's back. She was reaching out, onto the floor to find the pager. Reading it, she let out a huff and then laid down again on the bed.

"It's yours. We both have to go," she announced.

"Okay...," Addison mumbled, already falling back to sleep.

"Hey, I told you we both should go," Meredith said and shook Addison's shoulder lightly.

"Why?" Addison asked without opening her eyes.

"We've slept for almost three hours."

"What?" Addison exclaimed and sat up, wide awake. "Shit, shit, shit!" she cursed as she jumped up on the side of the bed and hurriedly started rolling up her pantyhose. "I have to make up an excuse. What will I tell Bailey for you?"

"Research?" Meredith suggested, took up Addison's bra from the floor and threw it at her. "Paper work that took time?"

"Bad reasons... Wait a minute... Why haven't Bailey paged you already?"

"Crap! Where is my pager?" Meredith realized and her hands patted automatically her hips, where her pager usually were. "I had it when I came here... I must have..."

Her stammering went silent as she decided to continue to get dressed. Maybe she figured that the pager had fallen off and ended up under the clothes or something like that. It was cute.

She gave Addison her blouse and then pulled on her scrub shirt.

Without warning, someone opened the door and Addison let out an involuntarily shriek and covered her chest with the blouse.

It was Alex and he shut the door behind him.

"So, I guess I know what you two have been doing," he said, crossing his arms and smiling at them smugly. "How long have you been fucking?"

"You took my pager!" Meredith exclaimed.

He nodded.

"The door was locked!"

"I know my tricks," Alex said, looking at his fingernails, admiring his own capabilities.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Addison asked, still trying to cover herself up.

"I heard you humping and then I went to the janitor and took a key and opened the door with it. Then I took your pager so Bailey will get pissed with you. It was easy."

"But why?" Meredith asked.

Alex turned to Addison. He sighed.

"Sloan isn't even letting me do stitches. He's making me fetch his dry-cleaning, and, I guess, ever since you've been screwing Meredith you haven't let me in on any surgeries. And I want back in. Plus it has been all awkward for you, since the time when you couldn't perform with me."

Meredith stared at her with her mouth hanging open. Addison hadn't told her about Alex.

"You really think this is the way to make me take you back on my service?" Addison asked dryly.

Karev shrugged. "Now you know that I know. I guess you haven't told Shepherd... I could easily let it slip my mind," he said, examining his nails like some kind of evil character in a comic.

"You wouldn't," Addison said through clenched teeth.

"Wanna test me?"

"This is immature," Addison stated. "And I'm an attending, I can crush you like a twig."

Alex smiled at her. "Why does it matter? And by the way," he said, looking at her chest, "you've got no reason to hide your boobs, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"I'm an attending," she repeated, "and you do not talk to your attendings like that as an intern," Addison threatened, getting to her feet.

She was occupied with staring down Alex that she didn't see how Meredith darkened with fury until she threw herself at him and tried to claw his eyes out or something.

Alex, a wrestler, made a swift move and knocked Meredith down to the floor, captured her there. Addison shrieked.

"Oh my god! What the hell are you doing? Let her go!"

Meredith kicked at him, but couldn't reach anything.

"Meredith, are you hurt?" Addison asked.

"No, she's not hurt," Alex answered for her.

"Let her go!" Addison cried out at Alex and considered kicking him in his side, but wouldn't want to go that far.

"Take me back on your service. I am going to do neonatal and you can't refuse to teach me."

"Oh, I can. You seriously believe this is how you get on my good side?"

"Give me back my pager, you bastard!" Meredith growled from the door like an angry kitten.

"Don't worry, Mer, I'll talk to Bailey for you. I could get him completely fired too..."

"I'll tell Shepherd," Alex said.

Addison bit her lip.

"Fine! I'll teach you! Just let her go and give back the pager!"

Alex let Meredith go, triumphantly smiling. Meredith scrambled to her feet as he took the pager out of his pocket and gave it to her, ho took it back, glaring at her. And then she hit him with her fist in his face.

He barely moved.

"Why did you even try that," Alex rolled his eyes, rubbing his cheek with his hand.

"Maybe I'm not strong but you get the picture, evil spawn," Meredith muttered, crossing her arms like a child.

"Yeah," he said, smiling superiorly. "So, I never figured you two to be on the girl-on-girl-side," he said, blinking at them with his head cockily tilted upwards.

With those words he left them there.

Addison let go of her blouse and put it on the bed before checking up on Meredith.

"Are you okay?" she asked, stroking her upper arms.

"I'm pissed off," she said.

"Don't worry, Mer... We'll tell Derek and then Alex has got nothing to threaten us with."

Meredith bit her lip, hesitating. Addison frowned at her.

"Do we really have to do that now?" Meredith sighed. "This is just a really bad timing..."

"Okay... You're right. We'll give him and us some time. We'll deal with Alex in the mean time. How hard can that be?"

~GA~

Addison followed Meredith to Bailey, made up an explanation, and everything was fine.

"When do you get off work?" Addison asked her afterward in a whisper.

"At 6."

"Meet me in the lobby?"

"What do you have in mind?" Meredith asked, inclining toward her, biting her lip seductively.

Addison cleared her throat and backed away a bit. She winked at her, then said loudly "Very good, Dr. Grey."

Meredith tried to hide a smile. Addison turned on her heels and went to work.

~GA~

The day moved on in its normal course, but seemed much brighter now. Like it had sort of transformed, or the perspective had changed to some kind of happy, colorful world.

At four she got a text from Meredith that said that she would be caught up in surgery and they'd have to say seven instead.

She continued sending her texts and the time when she got off became in the end half past ten.

Addison had waited for her at the hospital all the time. Cristina had given her a cup of coffee before she went home.

"I'm so sorry," Meredith said, finally meeting her in the lobby.

"It's fine, I'm a surgeon too you know," Addison said jokingly, standing up from the bench.

"Yeah," Meredith said as Addison started to correct her trench coat, which she as usual hadn't bothered to care about how it looked.

Meredith suddenly realized something because she looked at her with big eyes.

"What?" Addison said.

"Please don't tell me that you have another husband or a wife that's gonna come in through that door," she said and pointed against the entry. "No creepy children you haven't told me about?"

Addison laughed. "No! Why?"

"Because this is what Derek did to me just before you walked in through those doors and messed everything up."

"I messed everything up?"

"You were dressed in black like some kind of black widow and your hair all red and curly... like Satan...," she said, still staring at the entry.

"You know I'm standing here, hearing everything you say, right?"

Meredith turned to face her and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"You know, I always thought it was fate to meet Derek at the hospital later, after our one night stand, that we were meant to be because of some kind of cosmic order... But it was true what I told him that first day at work... He really isn't that good looking. And if I hadn't met him, I would never have met you," she said and Addison laughed. "So I guess it was the cosmic order after all."

They leaned their foreheads together and Addison kissed her quickly and then pulled away.

"We don't want people to find out through the grapevine," she said.

"True," Meredith sighed and they began walking out of their side by side.

"Tired?" Addison asked.

"Exhausted," Meredith sighed.

"Wanna go to the hotel?"

"Yes please. Can you drive?" she asked, Addison nodded and she threw her the keys. "I swear, I'll make it up to you later, I'll take you properly out to dinner and make something super romantic," Meredith said, already starting to close her eyes as she settled herself in the passenger's seat.

~GA~

Addison didn't want to wake her up, but when they arrived at the hotel she had to, so she gently shook her arm.

"I'm so sorry I fell asleep, Addie," Meredith said when she'd localized the place.

Addison laughed. "It's fine, I've been an intern myself once. Let's just go upstairs, take a shower... because you've still got some blood in your hair... and then just sleep."

"Sorry about that too. It sounds like an amazing plan," Meredith said, getting out of the car.

While at the hotel room they peeled the clothes off of one another. It seemed like something they could get used to do.

"Am I your girlfriend?" Meredith asked her, looking at her with one eye, shampoo running down on half of her face.

"Do you want to be?" Addison asked, drying away the foam with the back of her hand.

"Yes," she answered shyly. "Do you?"

"More than anything," she answered kissing her, then she mumbled "but I won't take the boyfriend title, I'm a girlfriend too."

Meredith laughed at the obviously bad joke.

"I think I'm living every guy's dream right now," she suddenly said, as she, deeply focused, rubbed a soapy sponge from Addison's shoulder, to her breast, to her stomach... "I mean, being in the shower with you... I mean, wow... It's just hard to comprehend."

Addison chuckled, pulling her closer by putting her hands at the small of her back.

"Do you always say everything that comes into your mind when you're tired?"

"Yeah, probably, not everything, but you know," she rambled, her eyes flickering to Addison's lips.

She leaned in and kissed her.

"I like being this," Addison mumbled against her lips, "wet with you."

Meredith pulled away and laughed, frowning. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whatever you want it to mean," she answered. "You want me to put conditioner in your hair?"

~GA~

Falling asleep, cuddling, the night seemed to pass too quickly.

The alarm went off half past four.

"Fuck," Meredith muttered.

"You have pre-rounds," Addison mumbled, not opening her eyes, rolling over to her back.

"You spooned me the whole night?" Meredith asked, sounding astonished and also suddenly wide awake.

"Yeah, basically, I guess," she answered, covering her eyes with her arm as Meredith turned on the lights.

Meredith straddled her.

"Good morning," Meredith said, removing Addison's arm from her eyes and started placing small kisses everywhere on her face.

Addison's eyes adjusted gradually.

"Hello, hot, naked woman," she smiled.

"Shut up," Meredith mumbled and laid herself flat on top of Addison, chest against chest, she started nibbling and sucking on the skin of her neck.

Addison shivered.

"We have time...?" she asked.

Meredith answered by smiling mischievously and kissed her way down between her legs.

~GA~

"Why did I have to wait for you so long?" Addison asked quietly afterward when Meredith was, well-satisfied, playing with her hair.

"I needed some time to figure out my feelings, to wrap it up with Derek... I was scared to be alone, because I wouldn't let myself dare to believe that you of all people would want me. And then I tried to reach out for you, but yeah you know... Maybe it was better that way?"

"Yes. Now we don't have to worry about guilt and stuff," Addison sighed.

"But you're feeling guilt anyway, don't you?"

"We have to tell Derek."

"I know."

"When?"

"As quickly as possible. Before the grapevine gets to him first."