AN: Chapters are like buses. You wait forever for one and then two come at once.

The Name's Black, Sirius Black

Two hours after Sirius and James had started to clean the house Remus started to feel guilty. He was no longer suffering from early morning crankiness and it was clear his friends were having no fun at all. This was supposed to be a holiday, and they were doing more work than when they were at school. Admittedly they were not doing very well with the work. They had broken a plate and chipped a couple of mugs whilst doing the pots and their antics with the soapy water had caused a bigger mess on the floor of the kitchen than had already been there.

With his guilty conscience screaming in his ears, Remus ducked into various rooms and tidied things up a little, just so things weren't quite so bad and the boys wouldn't be spending the whole day cleaning and scrubbing the house from top to bottom. Peter caught him magically straightening up the attic, the room that needed the most work to make it clean and presentable. Remus gave a sheepish smile. It wasn't like James and Sirius would know he had helped; they had never set foot in the attic.

Even with Remus's secret help, James and Sirius were looking rather the worse for wear by lunchtime. James's hair looked as though he had been dragged through a hedge backwards. Even Sirius, normally impeccably dressed, had torn a hole in his shirt and the knees of his trousers were looking worn and dusty.

Taking pity on them again, Remus rustled up some lunch for the four of them and when they sat at the table he broached the idea of maybe finding something fun to do for the afternoon.

"You just want to waste our time so that we lose the bet," Sirius grumbled.

"I do not!" Remus replied. "I just thought maybe you could split the cleaning up a bit instead of doing it all in one day. Maybe a room or two a day until the end of the week? Besides, there are other things on the list that are more fun than chores."

"There is?" James reached for the list and looked it over again. "I don't see anything fun here. It's all cleaning windows and cooking and stuff."

"What about the treating your friends to a trip to the cinema?" Remus pointed out. "See, right there."

"What's a cinema?" James asked, frowning as he tested out the strange word on his tongue. "Is it something fun, or are you just making up silly words to confuse us?"

Remus really despaired of his friends at times. "I already told you we weren't going to deliberately make you fail. If I'd made up the cinema then we would have."

"So, what is a cinema?" Sirius asked. "It's not like the shopping centre is it?"

"No, but it's in that direction," Peter said. "I don't know what's playing there at the moment."

Remus went to fetch the muggle newspaper from the other room. "Looks like the film showing today is The Man With the Golden Gun. It's not a very new film but I think we can safely say none of us have seen it, so it doesn't really matter about that."

"The local cinema here never has the new films showing," Peter complained. "I've not seen that one but I saw one of the other Bond films a couple of years ago."

"Which one?"

"You Only Live Twice."

"No you don't," Sirius interrupted. "Muggles live once the same as the rest of us."

"And what's a gun?" James asked. "Are they always golden or do they come in other colours?"

"And what's a film?" Sirius added.

As the two purebloods rattled off their questions Remus rolled his eyes at Peter. Another glance at the paper showed the film was due to start in a little under two hours. He wondered whether they would see the whole film, or whether the inane questions would continue right up until the start time, assuming of course that Sirius and James had enough common sense between them to get them to the cinema in time for the start at all.

-o-x-o-

They finally made it to the old rundown cinema and joined the fairly short queue outside. James and Sirius continued with their questions as they waited to be let into the building, earning more than a couple of odd looks from other people standing in line.

When James and Sirius lined up to get popcorn and drinks Peter pulled Remus aside. "We'll get thrown out if they talk all through the movie."

"I'll make sure to tell them they have to stay quiet," Remus promised.

Peter gave him a doubtful look. "Does that ever work with those two?"

Remus had to admit Peter made a very good point. "One peep out of them and I'll shut them up with a spell."

"You brought your wand with you?"

"Yes, didn't you?"

"No. I didn't think I'd need it just to come here."

"Even knowing what that pair are like?"

Peter glanced over to where James was counting out the cost of the refreshments with single pennies, much to the annoyance of both the staff member and the people waiting in the queue behind him.

"Did you give them only coppers?" Remus asked.

"No."

"Then why aren't they paying with the larger coins and notes?"

"I think I heard Sirius saying to make sure they weren't short-changed after their encounter with the old dear who fleeced them during the currency exchange fiasco. They want to make sure they pay the exact amount."

"Because that's so much easier than simply counting the change," Remus said sarcastically.

"They really are hopeless with muggle money."

The hopeless pair eventually finished making their purchases and joined Remus and Peter. "Popcorn, sir," James said as he thrust the tub into Remus's hand.

"Is it salty or sweet?" Remus asked.

"Don't push it," James replied. "Now, where's this golden gun we're supposed to be looking at?"

Clearly the education of modern cinema Peter and Remus had tried to drum into them on the way had had no impact at all. "This way," Peter said. "The film should be starting about ten minutes.

"Where do you want to sit?" Peter asked. "Right at the back or in the middle?"

"Can't we sit at the front?" Sirius complained.

"The seats at the front aren't really any better," Peter replied as he led the way down the aisle.

"You mean like in the classroom?" James asked. "No one wants to sit in the front row."

"Something like that."

"We're not going to get a test are we?" Sirius suddenly asked. "I'm not doing tests in the holidays."

"This whole week is a test for you," Remus teased.

"Then why can't we sit at the front?"

"Just pick a seat," Remus told Peter. "Perhaps near the back would be better."

The only people on the back row were a couple of muggles who didn't seem to have any intention of watching the movie. Or if they were, they might not see much unless they intended to part lips some time soon.

Eventually they managed to find four seats together at about the halfway point.

"You do remember that you aren't allowed to talk once the film starts?" Remus reminded them.

"How will we know when it starts?" James asked.

"You'll see it start on the screen," Remus explained, pointing to the screen in question. "And the lights will go dim."

"The lights are already dim," Sirius pointed out.

"Dimmer then. And did you hear what I said about being quiet?"

"I'm not deaf."

"Just checking."

A few minutes later the lights went down and the commercials started to play on the big screen.

For about thirty seconds Sirius and James sat watching with their jaws hanging down and their eyes wide. An explosion on the screen caused them to jump and duck respectively.

Peter chuckled from the opposite end of the group and leaned forward to catch Remus's eye. This was going to be fun.

After the commercials and a rather boring cartoon had played the main feature began. Remus had to give them credit, they did manage to keep quiet for a little while. Fifteen minutes was rather a record for them, if you didn't count tests and exams at Hogwarts. But they weren't at Hogwarts and there was no Professor McGonagall glaring down at them if they were caught whispering. As threatening as Remus could be, his glares at them to keep quiet just didn't have the same effect. It seemed he would have to resort to magical means if he wanted to see the whole film without it being talked over or them being thrown out.

Slipping his wand out of his pocket he pointed it at James first of all and cast a quiet spell to silence him. Then he did the same to Sirius, who was in the middle of asking where he could purchase some gadget or other he had seen the secret agent using.

As soon as he realised what Remus had done he clambered over James to try to wrestle Remus's wand from him.

"Get back in your seat," Remus hissed. "You'll get us thrown out if you don't stop talking and making a noise."

Sirius ignored him and tried again to grasp for the wand, inadvertently kicking Peter in the arm at the same time.

"Do I have to put you into a full body bind?" Remus threatened.

He didn't need to hear Sirius to know what his reply was. He was easily able to read his lips as he said he wouldn't dare.

"Wanna bet?" Remus warned.

Something in his eyes must have told Sirius that Remus was serious about his threat and he moved back into his seat just as the usher approached them. She shone the torch in each of their faces. "Is there a problem here?"

"No, ma'am," Remus assured her as his friends shook their heads.

Once she was satisfied there wasn't going to be any trouble she returned to her duties, leaving the marauders to continue watching the film.

Sirius and James, despite their enforced muteness, still managed to make their awe of the muggle movie known, James in constant nudges to Remus's arm with his elbow, every time he wanted to make sure he knew he was impressed, and Sirius with some loud clapping each time Bond did something spectacular. A few other people were clapping as well, apparently spurred on by Sirius's claps, as Remus was sure this was not usual in cinemas, and it was only that which halted Remus from carrying out his threat of a full body bind.

After the movie was finished Remus removed the spell from his friends and they joined the rest of the public in leaving the cinema.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Peter asked as they walked down the street.

"Yeah, though I thought Moony was a bit mean about silencing us," Sirius complained. "Other people were whispering during the film."

"Yeah, whispering," Remus pointed out. "You and James were talking so loudly it was annoying other people trying to watch the movie."

"No one said they were annoyed by us talking," Sirius argued.

"I was annoyed by your talking," Remus replied easily. "I couldn't hear what was happening on the screen with you two nattering beside me."

"Can we go and eat?" James asked as he looked at the café over the road. "I'm starving."

"You ate nearly all the popcorn you bought for me and Peter," Remus reminded him. "How can you possibly be hungry?"

"I'm a growing boy."

"You think Lily will finally go out with you if you're as big as a horse?" Sirius teased.

"Git! I don't see girls lining up to go out with you either."

"I can get any girl I want," Sirius declared.

"Yeah, right," Remus chuckled. "Your pick up lines are even worse than the ones James uses."

Peter nodded his agreement. "I've just thought of what I'm going to add to the list for tomorrow."

"Yeah?" Remus turned to him with a question in his eyes. James and Sirius had looks of mutual horror on their faces.

"I think we should make them get dates with a couple of muggle girls."

"No!" James replied immediately. "I'm not going to cheat on Lily."

"You're not dating Lily," Sirius reminded him. "I'm sure she won't care if you see someone else."

"That's not the point."

"We'll lose the bet if you refuse to do this," Sirius complained. "It's just one little date. And let's face it, you need to go on at least one date before you die of old age."

James finally relented and after a bit of negotiating Remus and Peter agreed that they could get a head start on their date mission today, even though it wasn't technically being put onto the list until tomorrow because of their rule about adding only one challenge a day.

"I'll show you how it's done," Sirius said as he sauntered over to a nearby group of giggling girls.

Remus and the others watched him make his move.

"The name's Black, Sirius Black," Sirius said with what was possibly the worst James Bond impersonation of all time.

The giggling girls collapsed into fits of laughter as Sirius looked back at his friends with confusion. Eventually he tired of being laughed at and re-joined his friends.

"I don't understand," he said. "It worked for that Bond bloke."

Remus laughed loudly. "Sirius, you are no James Bond."

"I never said I was."

"Movies aren't real," Peter added. "If you're going to get a date with a muggle girl, you'll have to do better than that."

Sirius looked over his shoulder at the group of girls. "Maybe we'll leave the date with a muggle girl until tomorrow after all."