Sam headed towards the Quick mart while Dean and I headed for the sporting goods store. I had to practically drag Dean along with me as he watched Sam cross the Street.

"He's a big boy Dean" I told him "I'll sure he'll be ok across he street on his own

"Yeah how much do you know?" he asked as we entered the store .

"About Sam freeing Lucifer or in general" I tried to joke

"Bobby told you/?" he sounded surprised

"Yeah, not everything but the gist of it. Sam has demon blood in him and he got tricked by a demon into opening the final seal. The way I hear it he thought he was stopping it"

"Yeah" Dean said "doesn't change anything tho does it? He still chose a demon over me"

"Dean.."

"I know stopping this is more important right now but I don't think I can trust him right now and if I can't trust him how are we supposed to work together?"

"What are you saying Dean?"

"I don't know" he admitted "just thinking out loud I guess. What's your story anyway?

"What do you mean?" I played dumb

"I saw your reaction when Ellen was talking about your mother. What happened to her?"

"I killed her" I said bluntly

"I'm guessing she wasn't herself when you killed her?" he asked

"She was possessed" I told him "She came at me with an axe, there wasn't exactly time to perform an exorcism. We were 12 stories up and she got close I ducked, spun round and pushed her out of the window. If was a move she taught me actually. She'd have been proud if it weren't for the fact I'd just used it on her of course" I said bitterly

"She wasn't your mum" Dean reasoned

"That's the worst part" I said "The thing I pushed out of the window was the demon but as I watched her fall I saw the demon leave her body. It was my mum who hit the ground and the last things she saw was her killer, me"

Dean put his arm round me "That must have been awful" he stated the obvious

"Yeah but like I said more important things right now" I moved away and began picking out weapons in the way normal women my age would pick out clothes on a Saturday morning shopping trip

"the truth is" I told Dean "There's never time to deal with this stuff later, because there's always something more important that needs to be stopped"

"And I thought I was cynical" I heard him say as I loaded a shotgun.