Me and Dean worked out to be a pretty good team. After the cheap chat up line at the hospital he never hit on me again. I was glad because I liked him just not in that way.

We hunted together and I did my best to keep his mind of Sam.

I had my own motel room at night, I suppose I could have asked Dean if we could share a room but I didn't want to sound like a scared child even if I did feel like one.

The first night I came pretty close to getting up and knocking on his door as I began to convince myself that every unexplained noise was something bad. That's when Castiel showed up on the chair besides my bed.

I almost fell out of my bed "oh Cas" I tried to pretend he hadn't just scared the holy crap out of me

"Sorry did I scare you?" he asked

"What? No! Well maybe just a little" I admitted "maybe you could like knock at the door or something, appearing next to my bed isn't the best idea"

Then he was gone "Cas" I called to the empty air

Then there was a knock at the door. I got out of bed and answered it

"Is this better?" he asked standing it the hallway?"

I couldn't help but smile as I invited him in.

"So what's up?" I asked as I wrapped my robe around me

"We need to talk" he began

"About...?"

"You don't know do you?" he looked at me curiously

"huh?"

"What you are"

"OK I'll bite what am I?"

"A fallen angel"

"Come again?" I looked at him wondering if angels had a different sense of humour to everyone else and if this was some kind of joke.

"Maybe you should sit down" he told me.

I sat down on the bed and he sat down next to me.

Then he began to tell me about angels and what happens when they cut out their grace. Just when I thought his story couldn't be any weirder he told me that I'd once been an angel"

"I think I'd remember something like that" I told him

"Do you have any strange memories from when you were very young?" he asked

"You mean besides demons trying to kill me and mum?"

"Did you ever imagine you were someone else"

"I used to pretend that I didn't belong to my mum" I admitted guiltily but "that's just because I wanted to be normal as soon I accepted I would never be normal I stopped pretending and got on with my life"

"That's normal for a fallen angel to know that they don't belong to their family but as they grow up they start to forget"

"You're kidding me right? Me? A fallen angel?"

"I am not kidding you"Castiel told me "why do you find it so hard to believe that you could have been an angel"

"I'm not.." I began

"What?" He looked at and at the risk of sounding like some romantic cliché I felt like I could have gotten lost in eyes there were so full of goodness and it made me wonder why he was here even wasting his time talking to me.

"I'm not good" I said

"What makes you say that?"

"I killed my mum and everyone around me get hurts"

"None of that is your fault" he told me gently "and you are a good person, you have no idea how many people you have saved"

"I'm just trying to make up for the people I haven't saved.

"Have you ever done anything you can't explain?" he asked

"I was trapped once by a demon" I told him

he nodded so I carried on "and my mum was upstairs and another demon had her trapped I knew that we were both dead for sure but then we were both outside in the snow freezing cold in your pyjamas about 50 miles from home. We never talked about it but I've never been able to explain it"

"Fallen angels don't usually have any powers but in times of great need they have been known to be able to access a little of heavens power without realising it. With the amount of danger you've been in your entire life it makes sense your might have displayed some of that power form time to time"

"So I'm like an angel without any power most of the time?" I had a knack for over simplifying things.

He nodded.

"Get some sleep" he told me as I stifled a yawn

I didn't want him to leave. Partly because I was still a little shaky on my own in this room and partly because I just didn't want him to leave.

"Cas?"

"Yes"

"Do you have anything important to do right now?" I asked

"Not right now"

"Can you stay?" I asked "Just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course" he said as he walked over to the chair and sat down

"Thanks" I said as I turned out light and lay down in my bed

"Cas?" I asked a few minutes later

"Yes"

"When I was an angel, did we know each other?"

"No" he told me "but I wish we had"

"Me too"I told him sleepily

That was how it began with me and Cas, by the time I realised I was falling for him it was too late to stop myself.

Every night he would stay in the chair by the side of my bed until l fell asleep. Sometimes I'd be so exhausted that I was out before I could even so goodnight. Other times I hardly slept and we talked for hours as I lay awake.

I thought maybe he was lonely and just liked having someone to talk to or watch over but after a week, on one of my sleepless nights we were talking.

"Cas what's it like in heaven?" I asked

"That makes a change from you asking Dean what it's like in hell" he avoided my question

"He told you that?"

"Yes I know about this crazy notion you have that you're going to hell and I can assure you're not" he told me with certainty

"How can you be so sure?" I asked

"There's nobody like in hell, I'm sure of it"

"Is there anybody like me in heaven?" I asked

"There's nobody like you anywhere" he blurted out "but in a good way"

"Yeah I'm a freak" I told him

"I didn't mean it like that" he told me "I..."

he seemed lost for words.

"We're not so different you and I you're fallen and I'm cast out"

I opened my mouth to argue that he was a better person or angel (whatever) than I was but I saw the way he was looking at me hopefully. I found myself thinking that if he could see something good in me then maybe I couldn't be so bad"

That's I took mychance and kissed him, he didn't kiss me back at first but he didn't pull away either. Eventually he pulled her closer and kissed me back mirroring my kisses almost as if he was learning how to kiss for the first time.

I fell asleep with him lying next to me , me under the covers in my nightie and him on top of the covers fully clothed with his arm wrapped round me. There was an innocence about the whole thing that I'd never felt before.