Lightning had been planning to turn in early. It was her birthday, after all, and she could do whatever she wanted. Not that she had anything better to do anyway. Today had been a bit of a trying day. Her core sample set-ups had been trampled by wild animals overnight and when she had arrived this morning to collect them and record data, she found her equipment strewn all over a mile or more around the site. Usually she was able to predict the migratory patterns of the animals nearby, and her sister station was there to do just that, but last night had been somewhat odd. There weren't supposed to be any large groupings of animals in the area until the fall, but something must have scared them off their regular paths.

Dipping her hands into the sink full of warm, soapy water, she washed up the dishes from her unexciting birthday dinner of broiled chicken, carrots and rice. The usual classical music floated throughout the house.

Every year she replayed the events of her twenty-first birthday in the kitchen of her childhood home and inevitably those events lead to her examining them. Would things have turned out different if she'd accepted her sister's predicament instead of calling her a liar and disavowing her rapidly advancing relationship with Snow? These familiar memories had been run ragged in her mind birthday after birthday. Even though she would never have wished for Serah to have to endure the death of another loved one, she wasn't sure how she would have reacted to seeing them together. She reminded herself that this line of thought would never be useful in any way, but she still couldn't help but wonder if she could have let him go, given the chance to do so, blessed with some closure.

Despite her heavy thoughts, today she felt lighter than she typically did on this day. Looking thoughtfully out into the starless pitch black sky through her kitchen window, she heard a knock on the screen door behind her.

She spun around surprised, soapy water splashing out of the sink as she snatched a rather large kitchen knife from the knife block and hurled it at the edge of the door's frame. The power behind it saw the blade halfway through the wood.

"Oh, hey hey easy, there..." said Zack, standing stick still, face white, staring at the couple of inches of sharp, exposed steel jammed through the frame. "Good thing I knocked first?" he said lightly with a wink from behind the mesh door.

"Zack." she shook her head. "It's not healthy for you to be sneaking up on me. What the hell are you doing here, anyway? " asked Lightning as she motioned for her friend to come in.

"I'm glad to see you too, Av." Opening the screen door, he gripped the knife handle, prying it out of the frame with a creak. He strode in and put it back in the block. She regarded him carefully. He was up to something; looking particularly satisfied with himself.

"What do you want?" she said curtly, turning back to the sink to wipe up the soapy mess she'd made as he took a seat behind her at the table.

"Well... a little birdie told me that it's somebody's birthday today." sang Zack in that mischievous voice of his.

Lightning rolled her eyes. Dammit, Amodar.

"Do you have any idea whose birthday it is today?" Zack teased.

"Yours?"

"If it was mine, would you give me a kiss?" he raised his eyebrows at her back.

"No." she deadpanned.

"Oh. Not even a little one?"

"No."

"Awww. You're mean, Av."

She chuckled slightly, draining the water from the sink, turning around to face him, drying her hands on a tea towel. "So you've said before."

"Well, even though you're mean and scary, I thought I'd take you out for your birthday." Zack winked at her again.

He seriously must have a tic. She thought to herself.

"Zack. Need I remind you that we're in the middle of nowhere?"

"I'm taking you to the mainland."

She raised an eyebrow. The mainland, huh?

"Naw, I'll have to take a rain cheque, man. I've got too much work to do. Since Hope left I've been playing catch up with the books. I don't even do the books, but because we all have to sleep sometime I've been doing them for Yuj to give him a break."

Hope left NORA at a rather inopportune time. They had been short handed as it was, but now things were nearing their breaking point. Snow knew that the kid was hurt, but he was sure that if they had talked it out, they could have come to some sort of resolution. Hope had not given him a chance to explain himself or to make up for his loose lips. Even though he wasn't sure what he could have said to make the kid feel better there had to have been something. After Snow had returned to the Farron residence from Thamasa, he discovered Hope had packed up his stuff and left. He tried calling Hope's cell a few times but as expected, the young man wasn't ready to talk, so his calls went unanswered. Were the unguarded words that fell from his lips about Lightning really worth Hope abandoning their friendship over? Even though it was true that Snow was in love with Lightning, he could just imagine the things that were running around in Hope's overactive teenage head.

Gadot stood staunchly in the doorway dressed up and obviously ready to find himself a date. "I'm not taking no for an answer. You need to relax or you're gonna burn out and be no good to anyone."

Snow looked up at his best friend. "You're not gonna leave me alone, are you?"

"All work and no play makes Snow a dull boss." Gadot said, shaking his head.

He sighed. "Fine. Let's go." Tonight wasn't just any night, after all. It was Lightning's birthday. He had plans to sit and drink all by his lonesome, like every other year. But maybe for a change he'd let himself be drug along with Gadot.

He grinned satisfactorily. "How long you need?"

"Five minutes." Snow got up from the kitchen table he used as a desk and slid past Gadot to his bedroom to throw on something clean. He stripped, tossing his dirty clothes on the floor and grabbed a pair of fresh underwear, sliding them on as he headed to the closet to find something suitable to dress in. Over the years he always said he'd never own anything even resembling a suit, but he had collected most of the components, he just never wore them all together. Sometimes being the head of NORA required him to do things he couldn't pass off to Yuj, and he found himself occasionally in need of some nice threads. Lebreau had actually picked out most of them. Once he found something suitable, he tossed the clothing on his borrowed bed spread. "Where are we going?" he called out down the hallway, crossing it to go to the bathroom to wash his face.

"There's this cool place on Gran Pulse I've been hearing about. It's in a cave or some shit."

"In a cave?" laughed Snow, splashing water on his face and towelling it off. Running a hand through his tousled blond hair, he shrugged, looking in the mirror. He had a little more scruff on his face than usual, he hadn't found the time to clean it up. He and Lightning were the same age now that she had reached twenty-five, and he wondered how different her face looked. No matter how old she became he would never think she was anything but amazingly beautiful. He nodded at himself. "Good 'nuff."

Snow hadn't been off Cocoon since the fateful day that changed his whole life, so maybe it was time to see the 'new' Pulse. Returning to his room, he snatched the black pants off the bed and wriggled into them. Pushing his arms through his favourite blue shirt, buttoning it quickly. Lebreau had called it cornflower blue. She said it brought out his eyes. Slipping on some comfy black shoes, he elbowed Gadot on the way out the front door. "You're buying!"

When they arrived at the club, there had been a long line of people waiting to get in. They joined the queue between the velvet ropes and waited. Gadot quietly commented on some of the more unusual people standing in line around them. After some silent snickering, Gadot elbowed him and pointed out a dark-haired couple approaching the front of the line. Snow watched as the man caught the burly bouncer's attention with a hearty greeting and a complicated looking handshake. He couldn't hear what they were saying while motioning to his, Snow assumed, female companion. He caught himself appreciating the woman's curvy posterior and dark wavy hair.

"Hey, Zack! What's up, my man? Who's the fox?" the bouncer grinned in Lightning's direction. In an attempt to not look completely anti-social, she returned his grin with a tight smile.

"This 'fox' could tear you to shreds, my man. I wouldn't cross her if I were you." grinned Zack, putting an arm around her shoulders as she rolled her eyes. She shrugged off his embrace and made a mental note to punch him later.

"Ha! I like her already, Zacky boy. But..." he leaned towards Zack, eying his annoyed black haired companion. "You should take your own advice." Guffawing loudly, he unhooked the velvet rope. "Go on in, you two. Have fun."

They shared a laugh as he admitted the couple but Snow still couldn't see the woman's face as they entered the club.

"Ah, I guess it's who you know 'round here." remarked Gadot. "She looked like a hottie. From the back anyway..."

Snow nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, and I'm stuck with you and your ugly mug."

"Ouch, Snow. That hurt." Gadot thudded his fist over his heart, feigning offense. "Right here, buddy."

Snow stuck out his lower lip in mock sympathy.

The bouncer let in a fairly large group of people, and the line moved slightly forward.

"We'll be here all night..." complained Snow.

"Nah. The line's already startin' to move. Besides. I know what you're thinkin', and yes you'd rather be gettin' some work done, but you wouldn't be havin' fun. Damn, dude, you're such a stiff these days."

Snow didn't have a retort for that. It was true.

As they made their way through the crowds of people, Zack hooked Lightning's slender fingers underneath his belt so he wouldn't lose her. She was a bit disoriented having never been in a place as busy or as loud as this. She'd recognized the area from her travels with her fellow l'Cie as Zack found a place to land and disembark. Beyond that, Mah'habara was a whole different place due to the revitalization of the old mining colonies. With an already established plethora of tunnels, the citizens of Cocoon who decided to make the dark and dusty underground their home, were a lively and hard working lot looking to make their fortunes from the vast underworld riches. Mah'habara was also home to the biggest, most unusual subterranean night club on Gran Pulse; really the only subterranean night club. Zack couldn't stop taking about the unusual acoustics of the place and it's earthy qualities. He hadn't been kidding about the unique club carved from stone and dirt; the sound ricocheted and echoed wildly throughout, lending both ethereal and macabre undertones to the steady bass laden beats.

She saw Zack eying the crammed dance floor. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "I don't dance." said Lightning against Zack's unusual black hair as she leaned towards his ear. A spike brushed her cheek and she was surprised at how soft it felt. He pulled away from her and shrugged, looking around the club. She eyed him suspiciously. He wasn't one to give up and she almost felt bad. She was always a downer, never wanting to do anything 'fun' as he put it. She'd come out with him, though. He had to give her a little credit.

Surely he wouldn't make me -

She jumped when he grabbed her hand, and started off towards the dance floor where countless sweaty bodies moved in time against one another. She stumbled along behind him, not used to the low heels she threw on before they left the house. The black death traps had been a hand-me-down find left by her predecessor, and she really had no idea why she hadn't burned the damn things years ago. Panic knocked around in her stomach as she tried to yank her hand away from his grasp and regain her quickly diminishing aloofness. He turned and looked at her, a grin playing on his lips. He wasn't about to let her hand go, so she stood stubbornly in place, pulling him to her, repeating herself. "I don't dance!" Once again he looked curiously at her and cocked his head to one side.

"You like my pants?" he shouted.

She gave him the look, silently chiding him.

He pouted.

Lightning sighed in resignation. Tch.

Zack winked at her and turned back around to continue his lead. She followed him, rolling her eyes. Her hand felt a little numb and she wanted to not be touching him, but she trusted him. If he wanted to hurt her, he could have done it a long time ago in a far more private place. If she didn't trust him, she wouldn't have come with him tonight she reminded herself. He stopped and turned, releasing her hand only long enough to grasp it with his other, pulling her into him after a twirl. Easily standing somewhere over six feet tall, his presence was commanding and she had seen many appreciative female gazes linger on his svelte frame. Tonight she had not seen him check out any of his admirers, he only seemed to have eyes for her. It made her feel a little lightheaded if she was being honest. He kept hold of her hand and slid his other around her waist. She felt heat rise to her cheeks as he started to sway in time with the music, sliding a leg in between hers, providing her with the pace. She didn't know where to look, so she stared awkwardly at the hollow of his throat as she tried to relax, unlocking her knees, moving uncoordinatedly against his frame.

He leaned in to speak to her, his breath puffing gently against her neck. "I don't bite." She felt him roll a bit of her hair between his fingertips. Sliding his hand into her dark strands, he stroked her scalp for a moment, coaxing her eyes to close as she leaned into his touch. The thick thigh wedged between her knees was pleasant, but sensual and warm making her almost forget where she was.

He pressed her palms to his chest as he inched closer towards her, keeping with the tempo of the thumping music. Swallowing tightly, she felt embarrassed to hear her heart pound a rhythm all its own in her ears. She could feel the definition of his chest under the light fabric of his shirt. Closing her eyes, she let her hands roam over familiar muscles, remembering a time long passed with a man long gone. Chiseled pectorals twitched under her needy hands; they recalled the feel of him beneath her. No matter how she tried to forget, her hands recalled the masculine angles of his flesh. She looked up and met the blue eyes belonging to her charming friend, instantly feeling quite awkward.

What the hell was she doing in a dance club?

Dancing of course.

But she didn't dance, and now here she was on her birthday, with the very attractive man that served her the very first ale she'd ever consumed. What a small world.

Snow and Gadot finally gained entrance to the smoky, strobe light filled club. There were so many people. There was sitting room on one side and the lit up squares of the dance floor on the other. He followed Gadot to a table where the two men sat to watch the rat race of people. Watching his buddy eye everything female milling around on their side of the bar, he sighed. There was nothing that caught his eye. Nothing would ever be as beautiful to him as his absent love. Snow had often thought about what it would be like to do mundane things with the fierce Lightning Farron; going to the corner store, drinking at the Shack, walking in on her in the shower, or waking up beside her after a night of love making.

"Snow!" Gadot punched him lightly in the arm.

He looked over at the redhead. "Huh?"

"Whaddya want to drink?"

"Oh." he shook his head, thoughts of her dissipating. "Beer."

Gadot nodded and got to his feet.

He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head. He turned in his seat and caught the gaze of a mildly attractive blonde. Gadot liked blondes; she would probably be right up his alley. Unfortunately, she was shamelessly undressing Snow with her eyes, and he actually shuddered a little under her lusty stare. Breaking the contact, he turned back around hoping that staring was all she'd do. Shortly after he found something else to look at, he felt fingernails tickle the back of his neck through his hair. Ah, hell.

"Hey, handsome. Mind if I sit here?" A throaty voice trickled into his ear, fingernails trailing down his spine.

"Be my guest." he replied, motioning across from him, hoping Gadot would come back soon.

He didn't hold out hope that she'd go for the chair on the other side of the table. She sat down beside him, slipping her arm around his, leaning in to talk to him. "I haven't seen you around here before." she purred.

"I don't get to Pulse very often." he said simply, avoiding her gaze. He wasn't into blondes; he appreciated something more... exotic. Something less blonde and more pink. On top of that, he wasn't interested in any woman who would throw herself at him.

The only woman he ever thought about was lost to him. His free hand moved to the pocket that held his cell phone. He felt his unwelcome guest experimentally squeezing his biceps, and he looked over to her. A sultry smile crossed her lips, and she licked the bottom one, taking it between her teeth. She really wasn't doing anything for him. Her hazel eyes were slightly glazed over, indicating she probably had too much to drink this evening. "What's your name?" he asked her.

"Madeleine" she replied, leaning farther than necessary into his personal space, pushing her generous cleavage against his arm, snaking her hand down to his thigh and across his very uninterested groin. Shocked, he stood up, almost knocking Gadot over as he approached the table, drinks in his hands. Gadot will most definitely be interested in Madeline. He chuckled uncomfortably to himself. The blonde had quite the satisfied look on her face, still eying him like a piece of meat.

"Whoa! What the hell, Snow?" laughed Gadot dodging the larger man's unexpected movements. Snow turned and took his drink from the redhead, taking a refreshing swig, sliding an arm around Gadot's broad shoulders.

"This, my friend, is Madeleine." He motioned to the mature woman sitting expectantly. She greeted him with a wave, wiggling her fingers. Snow pulled out his chair for Gadot and motioned for him to sit. "Madeleine, this is my good buddy Gadot." She held out her hand, and Gadot took it carefully, passing his thumb over her knuckles, capturing her gaze. Snow rolled his eyes in amusement. He had to admit his burly friend was pretty slick with the ladies, even if he didn't have to do much for this one's attentions.

"Hey, Snow. Go get Madeleine a drink, willya?" said Gadot, never taking his eyes off the woman.

"Sure. Anything you say, Slick." Snow gladly took his leave of them, heading back towards the bar to fulfill his buddy's request for a drink even though the girl looked more than intoxicated already.

It seemed that Snow was destined to stand in lines all night. Tapping his toe to the music, he glanced around the bar again, waiting for the line to creep forward. He noticed a few lurid female glances giving him the once over as he earnestly returned a couple of smiles. He was easily the tallest person there, and was able to see over most people's heads. Yawning, he covered his mouth covertly with his hand. Inhaling deeply, he caught a familiar scent on the smoky air.

Lightning...

It wasn't the first time he'd caught her scent out of nowhere. It wasn't real, but it was a pleasurable, nearly tangible fabrication. He thoroughly enjoyed it when it happened. The more he thought of her, the more often that intoxicating smell from his memories manifested itself, and she'd been on his mind a lot lately. Shuffling ever closer to the bar, he glanced over his shoulder absently, wondering where this night found her. He imagined her safe and sound at the very least. He couldn't stomach anything else. He noticed the tall, dark, spiky haired guy that was buddy buddy with the bouncer controlling the flow of people outside, dancing with that girl of his. Snow didn't dance unless he was sufficiently lubricated with alcohol, but he would if Lightning had asked him to. Not that she ever would... In fact, he would have done anything for her. If she wasn't so damn stubborn and would just call him, she'd find out for herself.

"What can I get ya, bud?" asked the bartender catching his attention.

"Whatever girls drink." shrugged Snow. The bartender nodded and prepared a shaker full of booze and mix. Draining the red liquid into a fancy cocktail glass, he added a candied cherry and one of those fancy little umbrellas.

Snow offered more payment than was necessary for the fruity smelling drink and took it with a manly nod, feeling a bit silly toting it back to the table.

Zack was smiling down at Lightning innocently and she looked away, embarrassed again. She felt his chest rumble with a chuckle. He took one of her hands in his and released her hip, taking a big step back, twirling her again but this time he nestled his chest against her back, slipping his arms around to rest on her hips, rocking back and forth to the ever present reverberation of music. She realized she was holding her breath, but as the bass dominated song progressed she started to relax against him. Even though the pose they were in was a bit awkward as she was exposed to the crowd, she closed her eyes and was thankful that she didn't have to keep staring at him. She was tucked slightly in between his long legs and he held fast to her. She kept time with the music thanks again to his movements. She wasn't much of a dancer nor blessed with the gift of rhythm, but she knew he must have made her look really good considering all the envious looks she garnered from numerous pairs of eyes.

"Are we having fun yet?" he almost purred in her ear. Although he was in impeccable physical condition, his voice was a bit breathy. The beat was entrancing and she had to admit the company was as well. Feeling a little playful, she rested her hands on his knees, pressing her behind against him. Two could play at this game.

Responding to her challenge, he leaned forward, gently moving her hair away from her neck to nuzzle the shell of her ear with his nose, then slipping his hands ever so casually over her bare thighs. His palms were warm against her skin, but she tensed as his fingertips lingered under the hemline of her skirt. She tensed for a second at the touch, but forced herself to breathe and relax.

Unable to up the ante anymore, Lightning was secretly happy as the song drew to a close. He held her close for a few moments, his hands lingering around her waist, leaving trails of heat behind. She pulled away and turned to face him, her face pink and damp. He smiled warmly at her, grabbing her hand again leading her towards the bar.

"I'm gonna get us a drink, ok?" He spoke lowly, his lips brushing against her ear.

She nodded. Anything to get him away from the dance floor.

The bar area was surrounded by people, and she was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. She almost frantically searched for an empty space where she could keep her distance from the herds of people. Dissecting the entire area was a huge glass wall. It separated the dance floor and the tabled seating area. There was no one standing by it in the far corner of the darkened club, so she tapped Zack on the shoulder and motioned to the wall. He nodded and winked at her, giving her hand a squeeze before they parted. Staying as far as she could from the sweaty grinding groups of people, she made her way to the far end of the unique wall and leaned against it. Sighing heavily, she took the opportunity to survey the club. The dance floor was the biggest part of the bar, lit colourfully by tiles underneath it. She guessed that a couple hundred people were on the floor gyrating at any given time.

On the edge of the floor, a couple danced quite erotically working against each other in time with the repetitive beat. They were barely touching, his hand rested on her waist as hers hung at her sides. One of his knees was wedged rather intimately in between her legs and every so often he would dip his head to brush his lips over her pale throat, or she would caress his jaw with her fingertip. Lightning shifted her weight. She couldn't watch them for very long, she felt like a voyeur.

Looking back over to where she left Zack, she spied him approaching her, an amber bottle in each hand. He smiled easily at her and offered her the beverage. She nodded her thanks. It had been a long time since she had a drink, but she felt as though she was in a better place now than she was those years ago, so she took a sip. The liquid didn't taste the same as it had the last time Zack had offered her one, and she found herself underwhelmed by it. Back then she'd been seduced by its numbing qualities and she was well aware now that she may have overindulged a little.

Ok, maybe a lot...

Zack leaned against the wall beside her, smiling at her again. "You're having a terrible time, aren't you?" he asked.

"No, I'm ok." she nodded at him. It wasn't a lie. She was having an alright time, but it was mostly due to the company. "Do you come here a lot?"

"When I get a weekend to myself I do."

She nodded again and took another sip of her drink. They stood there, watching the tangled mess of faces and limbs comfortably standing beside one another for a couple songs. Noticing he was staring at her, she raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"Your face is healing nicely. I don't think those cuts will leave scars." he smiled, raising a fingertip to trace the vanishing reminder of her mixer with the behemoth family. The slit up her side wasn't so pretty though; her stitching job had been understandably sloppy and the flesh had unevenly grown together to form a nasty looking scar. Truthfully it wasn't even completely healed yet. She didn't tell Zack about that injury though, he would have wanted to see it and she would have had to punch him.

But now her head swum pleasantly after his whisper of a touch. She nodded slightly, a familiar haze floating over her brain. She'd always been a lightweight drinker even though it was masked by a constant state of drunkenness years ago. Speaking of scars... Zack had a strange sort of 'X' shaped scar on his otherwise flawless cheek and she reminded herself to ask about how he got it. He had great skin, though it was a little pale for him to have such dark hair, intense blue eyes not unlike Snow's, but more of a hot sapphire; very handsome features overall.

Just then, a pretty young thing came up to her black haired companion and hugged him. They seemed to know each other and she beckoned him to dance with her. He looked at Lightning regrettably, raising an eyebrow as if to inquire if she'd be ok alone. She nodded emphatically and shooed him away. He laughed and let himself be led into the crowd of people.

The table had gotten too crowded for Snow with that blonde draping herself all over his buddy, and he found he needed a breather. So much for having a good time. He was probably driving too. Snow hated to be a downer, but he really would have rather been back at the house working, or playing piano, or anything else. They'd barely noticed when he got up from the table and meandered to a quiet corner, standing against the interesting translucent wall. Blocking out the booming music in his ears, he closed his eyes and he ran through the score he'd composed in honour of Lightning's birthday.

Taking another couple sips of ale, Lightning turned around to peek through the curious glass wall she leaned on. It was thick, hollow in the middle, but only slightly distorted, glowing faintly. On the other side of the wall, someone had the same idea she did, but he made a better door than a window. The club was very dark, but she could make out some details about the man from the back. He was very tall, impressively so. He wore a collared solid blue shirt that fit around his sturdy figure nicely. On the bottom he wore black pants and comfortable looking black loafers. He was faced away from her, his backside pressed tantalizingly against the glass. Checking it out, she was not disappointed. She laughed at herself as she tore her eyes away from his buttocks. She must have been getting tipsy already to be checking out Zack, and now some random guy as well. Up top, he had a head of messy bright blond hair.

A long forgotten memory of herself gripping and tugging on thick blond hair flashed before her.

She stood frozen to her spot.

He kinda looked like...

"Turn around." she bid the familiar figure. Lightning felt her lips move, but the sound was choked by the droning music. Without realizing, she had pressed her hands to the glass.

Go look. She heard a familiar voice say inside her head.

Don't be stupid. It can't be him. He's dead. She reasoned with herself.

Reluctantly, she turned away, her back again to his, gripping the bottle in her hand tightly as it visibly trembled.

If you don't go, you'll kick yourself later. The voice in her head taunted her.

Thanks to the inhibition lowering bottle of liquid in her hand, she gave in to the voice.

She inched down the wall again to catch a glimpse of his face, but it was too dark; his features were entirely shadowed. Walking quickly towards the end of the wall where she could get into the other section of the club, her skin prickled with excitement. Her heart started thumping against her chest the minute she saw that shock of hair, but just what the hell did she expect to find?

The beer was going right through him and Snow felt a familiar urgency growing in his belly. Leaving his dark little corner, he drained the bottle in his hand and left it on a nearby table on his way to the washroom. Passing by Gadot, he was flagged by his friend and took a detour back towards the previously intimate scene. His face looked a little slack. "Hey, what's up, buddy?" asked Snow.

"Uh, Madeleine here... has a boyfriend."

Snow's face broke into a lopsided grin. "Oops."

"Yeah, so, I think it's a good idea if we get goin'." Gadot started pushing his friend towards the exit.

Madeleine was standing now, her arms held out towards an oncoming male who looked unimpressed at best while the friends beat a hasty retreat. Normally the two imposing men would have been up for a scuffle, but not over a girl that was already spoken for. In any case, Snow was happy to get out of there early. This way he could get home and spend a few hours on other activities before he had to call it a night, but not before mocking Gadot until he snapped.

The further away she got from where the familiar stranger stood, the more desperate she felt. She couldn't see him anymore as she rounded the glass corner and dodged the people and tables that were in her way. Once she got closer to where she saw him through the glass, she realized that he no longer stood there.

Where...?

She looked around desperately trying to find the tall man. From the corner of her eye, she saw the blond hair again. He had made his way all the way across the club to the exit and she made a mad dash for him. In her haste, she slammed head on into a woman, forcing her elegant looking cocktail to splash all over both of them.

"What the hell?" shrieked the busty blonde woman. The front of her dress was soaked with the red fruity smelling drink.

Lightning stopped for a second to apologize, but couldn't stay longer than that. Turning away from the angry woman, she started moving again towards the exit, but she could no longer see him.

"Hey! Where are you going? My dress -!" objected the woman as Lightning left her behind.

Frantically, she swung her head from side to side, stomach tight with anxiety; heart aching.

Idiot. She cursed herself, running a hand through her black tresses. You're a damned fool.

Warmth enveloped her free hand and she jerked around to look at whoever it was, a faint hope still within her that it might be him.

It wasn't. Surprise.

Zack's hand squeezed hers, a smile crossing his lips, but his eyebrows knit together when he saw something akin to loss pasted all over her face. She felt tears in her eyes as his expression changed to compassion, pulling her into his arms. He had no idea why she was crying; he only knew that she was, and that was good enough for him. "Do you wanna get outta here?" he asked her, stroking her hair.

She wiped her eyes stubbornly, willing the tears to go away, hiding her head until they relented. She didn't even think she had any tears left to shed over him; even though she was healing, she still felt dead inside. That was until she met Zack. His zest for life reminded her that hers wasn't yet over and that she should stop acting like it was. He made her remember what it was like when feeling was the only thing that fueled her; how strong she had been back then when she and her friends saved Serah and Cocoon. And finally, the exhilaration Snow had made her feel.

They sat in silence for a few minutes in the cockpit of the aircraft. Lightning was trying to pull herself together by reminding herself that it couldn't have been him she saw in the club. She had accepted his death; accepted the complete deprivation of something she had barely tasted.

Zack broke the deafening silence. "What's his name?"

How could he have guessed the topic of her embarrassing emotional outburst? Lightning shifted her gaze from her hands to the dashboard of the craft, staring absently. She hadn't said his name to anyone for years. Going through the motions all this time, attempting to control the unreasonable sadness that welled within her, she slowly but surely had dealt with the more serrated edges of self-loathing and tribulation. For years she did all the things she had to; lived life with him in the back of her mind. Days came and went; light fell upon her face every morning and ebbed away into darkness when her nights with him would begin. Only after these years did she feel strong enough to talk about him with someone else, but she never wanted to.

It was surreal seeing that figure through the glass; so close, but so far that even her most desperate and furied actions wouldn't have been able to shatter it. Hurrying through the bar, tipping a drink on someone; these actions served to make her feel the pang of loss all over again, and now she wanted to talk about it. She wanted to talk about him; as if speaking his name into existence once again would make her not crazy for seeing a dead man.

"Averia..." Zack's voice was barely above a whisper when his large hand closed around hers.

She swallowed to coax the name out. "Snow." She heard herself say his name. It felt good to say it in this moment. She'd never admitted to another human being that he even existed after she left Bodhum. "His name was Snow."

"Was...?"

She nodded slightly, feeling her eyes well with tears she thought had gone dry. "He's dead." She took a deep breath, her chest abnormally unconstricted, and continued. "I saw someone that looked like him in the bar. I... chased after him. But..." she shook her head. "I lost him." She heard Zack shift in his seat to look at her, never relinquishing his calming touch on her hands.

"It was a long time ago. My sister, Serah, had been turned into a l'Cie. The first Pulse l'Cie in a long time. She was held captive by the fal'Cie and I went to find her... to bring her home." She looked out the window ahead of her. "There were others... that came. We were... assembled... by the Pulse fal'Cie. Hope, Vanille, Sazh, myself and... Snow. Hope was the one in the newspaper you brought me... Vanille and her friend were the ones who saved Cocoon from total destruction. Sazh had a little boy who was taken by the Sanctum. And then there was Snow. He was my sister's fiancee. He went looking for her too. We all had a part to play in a production where everything was scripted; nothing left to chance."

Lightning laughed humourlessly. "I hated him when I met him. He was cocky and loudmouthed. Never thinking about the danger before he threw himself headlong into it. I didn't know if he was, but he seemed fearless." She had come to know in the end that he might not have been completely fearless, but he did what he had to do in spite of that fear.

"My parents died when I was young and left us alone. My life with my sister had been so quiet; so... routine. I did what I had to do to take care of us including putting my own life on hold. Then she met this kid, Snow, and he changed her. I didn't want to admit that I was losing Serah to him, and I hated him for it. The little girl that looked to me for everything and for whom I sacrificed the years of my own childhood for I was losing. I felt as though no one could take care of her like I could and when they came to me and told me they were engaged..."

She winced inwardly, remembering the exact conversation.

"I lost it on them. Serah took off and Snow followed, later coming to tell me that Serah was being held captive by the same Pulse fal'Cie that branded her. We went our separate ways to look for Serah and ended up meeting inside the fal'Cie only to witness her turn to crystal as the legends foretold of those who fulfilled their focus. Snow vowed to free her; to save her and bring her back so he could marry her. Then our journey began. We were all branded l'Cie and given a task. We didn't know where we were going or exactly what we were supposed to do, but somehow fate-" Lightning spat the word out bitterly "...helped us work that part out."

She sighed. "After some cramped quarters and admitted guilt on my part, Snow grew on me and I started to realize what Serah saw in him. I also realized that the feelings I was starting to have for my sister's fiancee were less than familial; less than faithful to her. He made me feel as though it was ok to not be strong all the time and that even the strongest people needed someone to lean on. I came to realize how fleeting and uncertain life was; especially our lives as l'Cie. At any time we could have been turned into soulless monsters with regrets and unfulfilled focuses.

One night, nearing the end of our predetermined quest, I needed to clear my head. He found me when I was vulnerable and weak and alone and with just his presence it all disappeared. I hadn't cried in so long and that night he held me until I let it all out. I wanted to forget everything that night, and he took it away and gave me peace. It was short lived though and because I let him see what I'd been hiding, I put up a new wall tailor-made for him..." Lightning trailed off, and her voice took on a most sombre tone.

"That's the one thing I regret the most; not telling him how I felt. But I was scared. I was terrified that if I told him how I felt I'd be taking away the one thing that made my sister happy. Sure, she loved me and was grateful for everything I'd done for her, but he was the one thing that she'd done on her own. How could I try to take him from her? She had the one thing that I wanted as well; to be protected, wanting to hold the love of that same man. Maybe it was because I felt that time was so short and that fate was pushing us towards two separate ends. I'd be alone and she'd be with him.

There's no doubt, though. I was in love with him." She laughed flatly and bit her lip. "I still am." Lightning stared down at her clasped hands, concentrating on the coolness of Zack's slim digits stretched over them.

"Go on."

Clearing her throat, she continued bravely. "He didn't make it to the end of our journey alive. We had so short a time left before we were released unto our destinies, but I don't know how he slipped away from me. He gave his life in exchange for our young friend, Hope's life. I saw it all and by the time I got to his body it was too late..." Lightning shuddered slightly, remembering that part too.

"He was never reunited with my sister in life. After wards I told Hope that there was no other way Snow would have wanted to die, but I didn't tell him how much I wanted to follow suit. I wished for so long that my heart would just stop beating in my chest and that I could go to him. All the things that mattered before he left no longer mattered. Not Serah, not Hope, not anyone or anything."

When I wandered into your bar I had just run away from my life. I couldn't handle it. I was a coward... I was so broken. I was so haunted by his memory and everything that I should have done differently and said differently... I was driven by hatred and selfishness and sorrow. I haven't even talked to Serah in years. I don't know what she's doing, how her life is now. It feels like that because I was in love with him, he paid a price for betraying Serah that I should have paid. The only thing that has kept me alive all these years was his sacrifice."

"It's not your fault." said Zack quietly.

"I think I know that, but why can't I let him go?"

"There was someone like that for me once. We went through some pretty rough stuff and I realized I was in love with her. I didn't want anyone else, and I still don't, but I've never told her that."

Lightning gasped and looked up at Zack, as her emotions uncharacteristically took over. "What? Zack! You have to. Don't make the same mistake I did. Everything could be gone in an instant and you'll live the rest of your life regretting it."

He regarded her for a long moment and nodded. "Let me take you back home."

A long couple weeks of emotional recovery passed. She'd spilled everything to her important friend and it made her feel better, but worse at the same time. At least now another human being knew the story she bottled up for so long.

Curled up on the lounger, this particular warm summer evening found her reading a book. The noise of an incoming plane made her look up from the pages of the book as she watched a plane dock at the end of the pier. It was Zack, but he wasn't scheduled to deliver supplies for another week. She stood and watched him quizzically as he made his way up the dock.

"I brought you a gift!" called Zack holding a box with a mischievous smile on his lips.

"It couldn't have waited another week?" she asked when he was closer, sounding a little harsher than she meant the casual question to sound. Social graces out here in the wilds of Pulse were really non-existent, and she was glad Zack was the resilient type.

"Well I didn't get you anything for your birthday, and after that little problem with the Behemoths, I thought you might be glad for some companionship. Besides, he wasn't ready yet." he offered her the box with a wink. "I'll be right back."

Wondering what he was up to as he set off back down the pier, she sat the box on the picnic table and lifted the aerated lid. As the fading light flooded into the dark little box, she saw a fuzzy little brown and white speckled puppy sleeping inside on a warm looking blanket. It was incredibly cute, and seemed to have not even been the slightest bit disturbed by the motion of the box or their voices. It was obviously a boy, all sprawled out shamelessly on its back. Zack was jogging up the pier with a heavy bag of puppy kibble in his arms. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "A puppy?" she asked lightly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she watched him put it down beside the table.

He nodded emphatically. "My friend just had a litter and no one wanted this little guy. They said he was the runt."

She looked back down at the sleeping pup, reaching a finger inside the box to stroke it's fluffy head. "The runt, hey? He doesn't seem all that small to me."

"Do you like him?"

"Is he even alive?" she quipped. If it weren't for the rise and fall of his spotted little belly, she would have been hard pressed to believe that he wasn't dead.

"I hope so! The poor thing has had a busy day. He's been in the air with me since this morning. I guess he's a heavy sleeper." He watched Lightning as she gingerly ran her finger over his silky ears and down the bridge of his long nose. "What will you name him?"

Cocking her head to one side, regarding the little pile of fur under her fingers, she shrugged slightly. "Dunno yet." She peeked up at him. "Thanks, Zack. He's the best gift I've had in years."

"Ha!" He laughed heartily. "The only gift you've had in years, you mean!"

Lightning scowled and breathed out a laugh. "Oh, shut up." They regarded the pup quietly for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I was thinking about what you said the other night. About telling my friend about how I feel. I think I'm going to, but I'll be taking some time off."

She looked up at him as he finished his sentence. "Time off?" Her heart lept into her throat. Was Zack leaving her? She'd come to see him as a close friend and confidant since she met him. She wasn't sure if she was prepared for him to leave, but she reminded herself that he also had a life outside their friendly visits.

"Yeah. I've decided that it's time for me to do a few things in my life I've been putting off. And I have you to thank for the inspiration." He took her hand that stroked the soft fur and beckoned for her eyes to meet his.

"Oh." She looked at him, taking her hand back, casually brushing black strands of hair from her eyes. He smiled slightly at her typical avoidance tactic.

"Well, I guess I should be going." He stood and headed for the pier. She grabbed the heavy puppy from the box, cradling it. It looked up at her and yawned cutely, falling right back to sleep as she followed Zack to the plane. He turned around to face her as he spoke, his voice almost regretful. "I asked about my replacement, but they said they were short staffed and didn't have one quite yet. Sorry in advance if he's a jerk."

"It's ok. I only have to deal with you guys once a month." she said lightly. He nodded without a smile. Zack could be an intense guy and she could usually tell when something was coming. His displays of emotion and affection usually made her feel uncomfortable, but that's how he communicated his deeper feelings. She had come to accept that about him and she knew he would have liked more feeling from her, but he never pressed it. Often he said that she was hard to read, and that actually pleased her. That meant she was rebuilding her facade. "Good luck, Zack. I hope we meet again someday." She offered him her hand in friendship, meaning every single word she just said. She was very sorry to see him go.

He didn't accept her gesture, and after a moment, she tucked her arm back underneath the pup, somewhat awkwardly. Taking a step towards her, he lifted his hand to caress her face. She didn't shy away like she usually did, standing perfectly still as the backs of his warm fingers brushed against her cheekbone. She watched as he leaned his face into hers and closed his eyes as their lips met gently in a chaste kiss. The warmness of his lips and the clean scent of his breath made her eyelids heavy and she closed them. His lips didn't move against hers, nor did he attempt to deepen the kiss. It was a kiss shared between two people who held a deep respect and admiration for each other.

Finally he pulled away from her, his fingertips lingering on her cheek.

"Be safe, my friend."

His voice held a bittersweet note of finality as he turned and boarded his plane; Lightning watching him. With one last glance at her, he winked as she held up a hand bidding him farewell. She watched until he disappeared into the sunset. Looking down at the sleeping bundle in her arms, she smiled openly at it. At least she had proof of the friend that kept her sane for the last year.