Me: Dear god, I don't even KNOW what happened when I wrote this chapter…

L: Your crazy ex boyfriend sitting near you in biology happened, that's what.

Me: I KNOW!!! Maybe he wants to get back together?!?! –swoons in utter joy-

L: She's desperate. Oh well. Enjoy the chapter and remember: Saga doesn't own anything except Lillith.

Chapter 5

Lillith woke up the next morning to the smell of something burning. She jumped up, startled, and raced to the kitchen. Near was standing there looking just slightly pissed off.

"What happened, Near-kun?"

"The toaster happened."

"What?"

Lillith drew closer and noticed a steaming, blackened piece of bread sitting on a plate. She looked back and said, "It's sad you can't even make toast."

"That toaster is evil!"

"No, you're just a bad cook is all. Do you even know how to make instant ramen or onigiri?"

"No…"

Lillith face-palmed. "It's a wonder you can even live on your own." Lillith took four pieces of bread and started to put them in the toaster.

"I don't think you should do that, Lillith-chan…" Near started.

"Dear god, it's just a toaster! There's nothing to worry about." Once Lillith pressed down the toaster button (A/N: the only word me and my ex boyfriend could think of for it), the toaster started to shake. Lillith and Near backed up as smoke then began to rise up from the toaster. Suddenly the toaster sent a piece of bread flying out. It hit the wall above them and slid down slowly. Like a machine gun being fired, the toaster then spit out the other three pieces of bread Lillith had put in there. Then all was silent. Lillith hesitantly picked up one of the pieces of bread from the floor. "It's not even toasted!"

Near walked over to the toaster. He reached out and was about to take a look at it when it burst into toast. That's right. Not flames, toast. It was too ironic for words. Lillith and Near just stared at the toast, thinking, What the hell just happened? Suddenly, the lights started to flicker on and off. Freaked out, Lillith backed up against the wall. She felt something moist touching her hand. Lillith whirled around to see butter oozing out of the walls. She screamed one of those dramatic horror movie screams. While Lillith was busy having this little mental breakdown, the phone started ringing. Near picked it up and said, strangely calm, "Hello?" He could hear breathing on the other line, then click. The line went dead. Suddenly there was a huge explosion and everything went black.

Lillith suddenly woke up in her room. "I'm in my room? That means it was all a dream!" she exclaimed. She hugged herself joyfully. "It was all a dream!" she repeated. Then, something caught her eye. She faced the wall and saw globs of half melted butter gushing out. "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Once again, Lillith slowly opened her eyes to see she was in her bed. She smelled something burning again and flipped. She ran to the kitchen just like before, and screamed, "DID THE TOASTER BURST INTO TOAST?!?!" Near looked up at her, startled. "Huh?"

Lillith heaved a huge sigh of relief. This time it definitely wasn't a dream. She had woken up for real. To a world where toasters didn't burst into toast, and butter didn't come oozing out of walls.

"What's going on?" she asked Near.

"I screwed up with the toaster."

"…Maybe I should make breakfast for today." Lillith smiled a bit. "I have a feeling you need to replace that toaster."

So, Near and Lillith ate miso soup for breakfast before Lillith head off for her morning shift at the bookstore and Near went off to do…whatever it is Near does.

Me: So crack enduced….

L: You're telling me.

Me: Oh well, it was fun as hell to write it. After all, anything can happen in anime!

L: Not necessarily.

Me: Stop being a killjoy L! Hope everyone liked it! Read and review!