A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, notes, faves and alerts. Above all, I would like to thank everyone for their patience. Please enjoy.
"Hey, take it easy man. You let us know if you need something."
"I will. Thanks." Snow saw his friend to the front door of the Farron house, and with a worried look Gadot left Snow alone.
Every morning he'd feel ready to try to persevere, but then something would tip his scale in favour of uncontrollable thoughts of her, and he'd be brought to his knees. Taking up residence in her room didn't help either. He knew he was just wallowing, but he couldn't help it. He called into work everyday and just left everything to those who were capable of rational thought, because he sure as hell wasn't.
At the end of every work day, Gadot would knock on his door under the guise of keeping him up to speed with NORA-related news. He vaguely heard Gadot when he mentioned that the negotiations with the new Sanctum order on Pulse were wrapped up, and they'd have some work on Gran Pulse very soon. Snow nodded through the briefing, showing slight interest at the mention of Colonel Amodar's name. He hadn't heard anything from Amodar since Serah had talked to him years ago, asking about Lightning. Snow had thought to inquire further, but Serah did tell him that if he heard from her older sister he should call, and he never did.
Also, Set had shown his face in Bodhum. According to his recount, Lebreau had gone off alone to take on the mark because he had gotten wasted the night before and showed up late for work. When he got there, he trailed her and found her already badly injured. He took the time to call for help before he ran off like a coward; Snow's words, not his. He didn't have an excuse for his irresponsible behaviour, but Gadot said the guy seemed genuinely remorseful about what happened to Lebreau and for his part in it. His burly buddy reminded him that he was still the boss and was the one decide an individual's fate within NORA. Even so, Snow didn't have an answer to the problem. If he beat the kid to a bloody pulp it wouldn't bring Lebreau back. Snow also knew that if he saw Set again there was no guarantee he wouldn't beat him senseless for good measure. Gadot nodded understandingly and moved on to the next topic.
Even though all these things were important he couldn't bring himself to pay much attention and once his best friend was gone, he closed the door and fell back against it, huffing a great sigh. He knew people were still worried about him, and they assumed it was because of Lebreau which was fine with him. After all, he didn't have the energy to explain himself.
Surely someone besides Hope had to know something about Lightning Farron. The fact that she was out there was a relief but as comforting as that thought was to him, he felt angry, betrayed and hurt by his trusted friend's silence. Snow almost felt indignant; like he had Lightning first and that Hope should back off, but then he remembered that Hope was just a kid.
After repeated attempts at trying to reach him during the week after the funeral, Snow found himself leaving message after message to have his call returned. Surely Hope noticed that he was missing something even if he didn't know where he'd lost it. There was no way that he possessed a meaningful item like that by pure chance. As a result he was unable to eat or sleep; his nerves completely shot. First Lebreau and now this.
He wanted to punch something until his knuckles bled.
He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs until he collapsed.
He wanted to weep until he was barren of all feeling and emotion.
Shuffling back into the living room, Snow picked up the silver bloom he always kept within arms reach since acquiring it over a week ago. Cradling it in the palm of his mammoth hand, he stared at it, feeling tears sting his eyes. Of course he remembered everything like it was yesterday; his memory had always been long and cruelly reliable. Nary a day went by for the last four years where he hadn't thought of her in some capacity. In the early days, his thoughts were dominated by her, but more recently she was just there in the back of his mind.
Over the years he'd thought about looking for her, and he had kept his eyes and ears open, but no one he talked to had even heard her name. He had a quite a few connections throughout Cocoon, but never had anyone reported back to him that they saw his petal haired 'friend'.
"You'd know her if you saw her." he'd tell whoever would listen... not that it got him anywhere.
He looked at the clock. It was near midnight. He'd call one more time tonight.
The mad temptation to dial Hope's number repeatedly was getting the better of him; the need to reconnect with the boy had not let up since he laid eyes on discarded memento laying in the sand.
Snow refused to believe Hope could have been malicious enough to have planted the token, but he couldn't be sure about anything anymore.
Redialing the number, it rang four times before the line picked up, and a sleepy voice met his ear. Snow jerked himself up to sit straight on the couch.
"Jeeze, Snow. What do you want?" Hope sighed, sounding annoyed.
"You know where she is, don't you?"
"Where who is?"
"Lightning."
He heard Hope yawn."I don't know know where Light is. Stop calling me."
"Like hell you don't. Tell me where you got that flower from."
Silence.
I got you now, you little bastard.
"What if I said I did?"
"Then I would politely ask you to share information." Snow said through gritted teeth. You catch more flies with honey... he reminded himself as Hope paused again.
"And if I refused?"
Snow's fist came down hard on his knee, clutching it to try and keep his cool.
"Well, there isn't much I can do about it, then." he admitted tightly. "Look. I know you probably don't give a rat's ass about me anymore... but I am asking you as an adult, Hope, to tell me where Lightning is."
Hope laughed.
He actually laughed.
"Hope...!" Snow snarled, the kid interrupting icily.
"I'm not going to tell you where she is, Snow. She doesn't want me to."
It was Snow's turn to be stunned speechless, his lack of response speaking louder than words ever could, the cruel realization of his confirmed suspicions crushing the breath from his lungs.
"Sorry, Snow. You should forget about Light. She's mine now."
The line went dead and all he could do was sit uselessly staring at the phone in his hand.
Knowing full well that he was as good as dead without her, he ghosted through life, simply looking forward to the next moment, waiting to see if it would be the one where he'd be reunited with her. It was great to have something to look forward to, like your birthday, but this was pure torture inflicted upon him by someone he thought possessed the most innocent of souls. He had to wonder if Hope really was just a kid.
Does he hate me that much?
Appealing to the powers that be, he implored them to show him an ounce of mercy and place her in his path. It would only take one chance; he wouldn't screw it up.
Amodar didn't call her often on the communication channel, so when she heard the chirp that heralded an incoming call, it surprised her. She had just finished breakfast and was actually getting ready to take Interceptor and head out the door to collect some samples. Tapping the nearest panel, her boss' face popped up on the tiny screen
"Good morning, Farron." He was smiling.
She was not. "Sir." she replied in her normally short tone.
"Someone get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" he asked her teasingly.
"I got up on the same side I do every morning." He raised an eyebrow. "Sir." She'd forgotten how to interact with other members of the corps. There was no need for ranks or niceties in middle of nowhere with only her dog and a silver-haired civilian friend for company. Speaking of her former protege, he had been MIA for a few weeks.
Amodar chuckled heartily at her awkward but serious answer. "Ha! It's nice to talk to you, Farron."
"Likewise, Sir." she replied with the distinct lack of emotion she was known for.
"Well, I'll get down to business. We've been negotiating a contract with NORA. You remember them from Bodhum?"
She bit her lip. NORA was Snow's baby; his way to protect the people he loved. Of course she remembered... "Yes, sir."
"Ah good. I've put them in charge of a new security effort on Gran Pulse. They've been contracted to clear out areas scouted for a new settlement, and grade them for safety before they're settled. There's plenty of dangers on Gran Pulse, and it's important that these matters be treated with the utmost diligence."
Dangers, huh? Don't I know it.
It had been almost 4 years since she'd even been near a human population. Not counting the nightclub Zack had dragged her to for her birthday. Other than that, the only contact she'd had with people were the ones that brought her supplies; most recently Zack and Hope. Amodar himself didn't stop by unless there was a good reason. She talked to her boss more than saw him. And apparently without warning, the office had made the decision to recall her from her secluded life in the wilds of Pulse. Remembering the day she stood in Amodar's office, brokenhearted and lost, she was glad he had granted her the assignment. It had been like someone was reading her mind; she had wanted to disappear after everything that happened in Bodhum, on Cocoon... with Snow. Time had gone by so fast after she had begun to put herself back together.
"So, why do you need me there? Uh.. Sir."
He laughed openly at her latest misstep in protocol. "Well, Farron. I think it's about time you got back on the horse, so to speak. I am planning on assigning you to their brigade. I know that you don't want to be observing weather and taking rock samples the rest of your life." He paused. "I may be overstepping my bounds as a superior officer, but as a friend, I'm telling you to stop punishing yourself. You've done it long enough."
Have I? She thought bitterly.
"I also know that you train everyday, and are in top condition. There's no reason for you to stay out there any longer." he said matter-of-factly, sipping his coffee.
"But, Sir," started Lightning. She wasn't sure if she wanted to leave her safe little corner of the world.
He cut her off. "I myself am leaving to tend to a matter in Oerba later today and will not be here to meet you. G will be available in my office, so please report to him after you arrive. Someone will be along to pick you up tomorrow afternoon and you are to meet with the General the day after tomorrow at oh-nine-hundred."
"Sir. I must insist -"
"That is an order, Lieutenant. Farron." he said shortly.
Did she hear him right? "Lieutenant, Sir?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. You've been promoted." Amodar grinned knowingly.
Damn it.
"G will take care of the paperwork when you arrive."
"Thank you, Sir..." she started "but I still -"
"Amodar out."
The communique ended with a blank screen.
Cussing under her breath, she turned to see Interceptor looking up at her.
"Well, what am I going to do with you?"
Interceptor cocked his head to one side, as he usually did when he 'listened' to her.
"I didn't ask if I could bring you, but I can't very well leave you here all by yourself, can I?" Lightning stroked her chin. She really didn't have anyone to look after him, and she wasn't even sure how long she'd be gone. As the crow flew, her destination, Leámonde in Yaschas Massif, was a couple hours flight from her secluded home. Coming back to take care of Interceptor was out.
"I guess you'll just have to come with me."
He barked, wagging his tail. She smiled and knelt on the ground in front of him, putting her arms around his neck in an embrace. Zack would have been pleased to see that she'd taken to her gift so well. At first she'd been annoyed by having to take care of him; convinced that he'd never learn how to behave. Shocked by what a quick learner he turned out to be, she quickly found herself glad to have him around. Interceptor kept her company and loved her without any strings or expectations, unlike Hope and his intense, ever-present undercurrent of sexual tension. Though she had to admit they were comfortable together, she always felt like he wanted something she couldn't, or wouldn't, give him.
The night found her restless and unable to sleep. Whenever she began to drift off she'd start falling helplessly down a dark and unending void, and jerk herself awake again, clutching the blankets. Laying back down, she slowed her breathing in an attempt to relax. She had heard somewhere that dreams were the children of an idle brain. Although that may have been true, she wondered why her stupid brain just couldn't go on vacation and leave her to have a good night's sleep for once.
Taking her time getting ready, she packed very light; sleepwear, her casual pair of jeans, comfortable fitted t-shirt, some socks, panties and a bra. She would have taken more, but she really didn't have much else in her wardrobe. Maybe she'd have to stop to get a few things while she was in Leámonde... especially if she was going to start working with actual people again.
The slam of the screen door startled her. Interceptor got to his feet and took off towards the front to check things out.
"Light!" Hurried footsteps came towards the hallway.
"I'm in the bathroom, Hope!" she reported, tossing a tube of toothpaste and toothbrush into her travel case, zipping it up. It seemed odd that he was here now. Heading back into her room, Hope spotted her and rushed towards her with his hands out. He looked very anxious.
"Come with me." He grabbed her hands and swung her around to face him. Breathing unevenly, his chest heaved, eyes were urgent.
"What?" Lightning cocked an eyebrow, pulling her hands away. "Hope, calm down."
"Come with me. Light. Right now."
She rolled her eyes, going back to her packing. "What are you on about?"
"Listen to me!" he shouted. She looked back, annoyed by his outburst, as he demanded her attention. "If I wanted you to leave with me right now, would you?"
"Leave with you where?"
"Anywhere. Look, Light." Hope breathed in and out therapeutically. "I wanted to tell you some other way, but I'm out of time..."
"Hope?" She was beginning to become alarmed, but allowed him to take her hands in his when he sought them out again. Her touch seemed to calm him down a little.
Choosing to look down at their joined hands instead of her perturbed expression, he continued with his speech. "I love you. I always have." He finally met her gaze, squeezing her hands firmly. "From the first moment I saw you in the Vestige. I knew I wanted to be with you, but it can't be here. Please. I'm begging you."
Utter shock washed over her face. She expected to hear it at some point, but she thought it would have been a while off. And what did he mean about running out of time? She wasn't about to run off with some kid who didn't have his shit together. What about her life? Now she was simply irritated by his vague explanations and odd, questionable behaviour. "You're just a kid, Hope! You don't know what you want!"
"Don't patronize me, Lightning. I'm not that scared little kid anymore." He spoke quietly, his youthful tenor softened. His hands ventured up her arms, and over her shoulders to cup her warming cheeks. "I'm a man now and I know what I want." He was trembling; she didn't need to feel it, she could see it. "I've always known."
This can't be happening.
"And what about what I want, Hope? What about my life?" She needed more time to get things sorted out; he needed to back off.
By the twisted look on his face, that wasn't what he expected to hear from her. Wiggling out of his hands to take a safe step backwards, she saw his face flush with anger.
"What life?" he spat out. "Oh wait. You mean hiding here on Gran Pulse playing out in the mud and rain? What kind of life is that?"
Hope was mocking her. How dare he. Her temper flared; the long absent edge of anger peaked naturally, burning its way back into her chest.
"You have no idea what I've been through! The only man that I ever loved is dead and some days I wish I would have went with him! I've spent the last four years of my life picking up the pieces. Putting myself back together. Then you just come along and think you have all the answers, when you don't even know the fucking questions?"
Lashing out like a cornered animal, Lightning drew back her open palm and landed a stinging blow on Hope's cheek.
After flesh met flesh, he made no attempt to comfort his reddened cheek with a hand. Instead, he took the opportunity to seize her arm and pull her roughly against him, kissing her hard. Her head was spinning, hearing him say all these things to her; spilling his heart to her so aggressively. She honestly didn't think he had the guts to tell her these things. Obviously he'd changed, but something inside warned her that it wasn't for the better.
The heat of his lips on hers threatened the wall of her resolve and once his arms closed around her, his clearly capable hands began their journey down her body. Gripping the sides of his shirt in her hands, she held on for dear life as he continued to devour her, attempting to drive her mad. Cupping her rear in his hands, he evoked surprise from her, and she opened her mouth against him. Not wasting any time, he met her tongue with his, sending a new shock of surprise through her. Lightning fought desperately to seal away the encouraging noises he was so purposefully trying to pull from her.
Electricity rippled through her as Hope's smouldering green eyes met hers; his voice wavering ever so slightly, the dam holding him back bending under the weight of his desire. "This is what you do to me." Still cupping her backside, he held their bodies tighter together until his hips were flush with hers, pressing his urgent rigidity against her belly. His teeth nipped up the soft line of her jaw. "You're the only woman I want. It's always been you, Light."
Biting her lip, heat spread rampantly over her body, originating from the site of his masculine declaration. His palms made their way down the front of her skirt, pulling the zippers apart to give him access without pulling the barely there fabric over her hips. The thumping in her ears was out of control, but no matter how much her body betrayed her, she didn't want this. Not right now in any event; everything was too quick and he had made her too emotional. Additionally, she was leery about his unusual proposal of escape.
His digits rubbed against her heated treacherous centre, sending panic jolting through her, drawing a strangled gasp from her lips.
Speaking of escape, that's just what she needed right now. Somehow she didn't think she'd be granted another chance to get away from him if she didn't seize it this second.
"Hope... Stop." His continued touch between her legs summoned feelings of shame to the forefront of her mind. Desperately, she twisted in his arms, the spell he had held over her shattered. "Enough!"
Seeming to collect himself as he took in her apprehensive face, he awkwardly set her free.
She hated feeling this way in front of him. His unfavourable advances left her angry and empty. Why did he have to go and touch her like that? Trying to recoup some lost dignity, she turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can... we talk about this when I get back?"
He respected the distance she put between them, but she could also see his conflicted reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall beside her.
"No. You need to decide now."
She was certain the only answer she could give he'd find rather undesirable. Even if he forced her decision, it would be the same next week, and the week after that.
"What's gotten into you?"
"I thought it was obvious." he replied dryly; teasingly. He'd recovered a suggestive edge that gave her goosebumps. Apparently he took her last statement as an invitation, coming to stand at her back, running fingertips along her arm, over the bands adorning it.
Blue eyes met green in the mirror. She almost couldn't bring herself to speak the refusal aloud; she didn't want to hurt him, but she had to, and she had to do it with confidence.
The energy emanating from Hope was dangerous and feral; he was hungry. To falter or show any weakness at all would be to throw herself into the lion's den. He wouldn't take no for an answer twice, and she believed he would act upon her self-doubt, so as she narrowed her gaze, she spoke with cool courage. "I can't go with you."
The hand on her dropped away and for an instant his guard came down. The young, fragile, unsure Hope fell open to her; shock and surprise creasing his youthfully smooth visage.
Had he truly thought that he would have been able to sway her; to talk her into leaving with him? She might as well have kicked him in the gut. With the wind knocked out of his sails, a new tension filled the room as a dark resentment became apparent on his face.
"Fine." Turning on his heel, he left her.
She heard the screen door slam and Interceptor came back into the room to nuzzle her leg comfortingly.
Lightning would have rather spent the rest of her life on the ill-fated Palamecia than spend one more minute cooped up with Hope Esthiem on the transport vessel. Whatever it was that transpired between them left Lightning confused and Hope hurt. If she would have known that the intense teenager was going to be the one escorting her to Leámonde, she would have attempted to smooth things over a bit better between them; not that she even would have known how to do that. Time may have helped her to heal her own wounds, but when it came to other people's, she usually failed miserably. It wasn't Amodar's fault that Hope felt the need to say what he did – and do what he did – but she would have appreciated a heads up. As it was, her furry friend refused to leave her side the whole trip, sitting in front of her as a buffer.
Petting Interceptor's head absently, she sighed, watching Hope pilot the craft. How ironic it was now that he wanted nothing more than to be with her and she wanted nothing more than to get away from him.
Once docked safely at the nearest aerodrome, Hope all but ignored Lightning and the canine as they disembarked. She knew she should have just left and not looked back, but it nagged her with every click of her boot heel.
"Interceptor. Stay." she commanded her hairy companion.
Turning back towards the vessel, she took a deep breath and re-entered the main cabin. Hope was still sitting in the pilot's seat when she approached quietly. She took a seat on the passenger's side, and turned towards him. Looking away from her, he sniffled, brushing a quick hand over his cheek. There was something going on, she was sure of it. She wasn't seeing the whole picture, and what she didn't see was crippling her young friend. Even though Hope had fundamentally assaulted her back there, she wondered if she didn't want it just as much as he had. Her hang ups were probably as just as bad as his, but at least she was an adult and had a few more coping mechanisms in order to deal.
Though, now, she was sure he had been crying.
Dammit. I'm the worst.
"Hope... I do want to talk more when I get back home, ok? I wasn't just saying that." she touched his bare arm for emphasis.
"Don't do that." Hope shifted away from her show of compassion.
"Hope..."
"Don't, Light. Just go. I'll... see you around."
And that was that.
As much as she would have liked and dreaded staying with Hope to try and squeeze information out of him, she reminded herself that he was a budding adult and that if he needed help he knew where she was. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to be what he wanted her to be, but she could at least try to remain his friend.
Once out on the tarmac, a trotting Interceptor beside her, she spied Amodar's handsome assistant, G. It had been years since she had last seen him, but he looked surprisingly the same as he had during her first trip to Leámonde. He'd gone out of his way to make her comfortable back when she had forgotten how to exist without the assistance of some mind-numbing substance and even though she'd never forgotten his quiet compassion and kindness he had insisted that it was his 'job'. Suit immaculately pressed, deep red hair still in its short calculated disarray, he smiled at her charmingly, offering her a hand in greeting.
"Miss Farron. Pleasure to see you again."
"It's been a long time, G." Almost regretting taking his pampered, well-manicured hand against her own abrasive one, she couldn't help but return his smile awkwardly.
"That it has. You are looking well." he commented, probably more out of courtesy than anything else. She was positive she looked horrid from the lack of sleep and the dramatic tension she'd been wading through all day. She was hungry and kind of grumpy, actually.
"And who is this?" He nodded towards Interceptor who was sitting politely looking around at the busy tarmac.
"That's Interceptor. Amodar didn't tell me how long I'd be in Leámonde for, and I couldn't leave him at home by himself. I hope it won't be any trouble..."
"Interceptor, huh? Sounds mighty fierce." he smiled at the animal and typically Interceptor cocked his head to the side. G turned his attention back to Lightning. "It's absolutely fine." Motioning to the limousine sitting idle behind him he nodded. "Well, shall we?"
While they had been talking, the driver, a very exotic looking man with an excessively long but luxurious mane of silver hair that would make any woman jealous, put Lightning's single suitcase in the trunk, then opened the door for G. The man stepped quickly and gracefully, his silver hair barely moving in the stirred air he created carrying out his duties. Lightning watched the silent servant's cheeks blush when the redhead's hand covered his own gloved one before ducking into the interior. It was an interesting dynamic for Lightning to witness and she found herself wondering if they might have been something more to each other. The almost beautiful man hurried around to her side and opened the door for her in the same manner, never meeting her gaze, the pink on his cheeks disappearing as quickly as it had surfaced.
Interceptor looked curious as to what could possibly be inside and lept in. A shocked sound and an audible expulsion of air came from inside and when she got in, the heavy pup was sprawled across G's lap, huge paws and nose against the tinted window trying to look out. She saw the restrained surprise on his face as he patted the animal awkwardly, offering her tight smile.
Maybe he's not a dog person.
Even though she managed to suppress a chuckle, she thought she heard one from the driver's seat.
By the time she got free of G, paperwork and duty related activities to settle in her hotel room, it was twilight outside. Interceptor was already asleep on her bed, taking up most of it, leaving her to flop down in an expensive looking leather chaise posted by a picture window. Lightning had wanted to do a little shopping after she arrived, but the afternoon had been meticulously arranged so that she had no free time before the shops closed. Sure that she'd been in meetings all day tomorrow, she resolved to at least buy some new clothing before she left Leámonde.
She had changed into something more comfortable, a new pair of pajamas she'd ordered the last time she had her monthly delivery. The shower incident had encouraged her to get a proper pair of pajamas just in case Hope had decided to pay her a visit in the middle of the night. Ever since Hope had come back into her life, there'd been more drama than she was used to. She was very happy to have reconnected with him, but it was unrealistic of her to believe that he wouldn't have changed very much. After all, she had been completely absent for his most impressionable teenage years. Lightning could see the obvious good that had been instilled in him even behind his raw teenage hormones. Every time she thought about him she was bombarded by suspicions and curiosities about whatever he wasn't telling her. With each shady action her trust in him waned.
Picking up the phone to order some dinner, she received possibly the worst news of the day.
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Room service is unavailable at this time. The kitchen is undergoing some minor repairs but will be in full service tomorrow." the voice informed her on the other line.
"I see." Lightning's stomach grumbled in response. Tch. Figures.
"I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. The bar is still open, though. They don't have a full kitchen, but I'm sure they can whip something up for you. Please let them know I sent you and they will do their best. My name is Jessie."
"Alright. Thank you, Jessie." said Lightning, hanging up the phone. There was no way she wanted to get dressed and go sit in some smoky bar to eat. Her stomach growled again, insistent. "Fine, fine." she muttered.
Before she stood, she saw an envelope with her name on it sitting by the phone. She recognized the scrawl as Amodar's. Curious, she took it in hand and ripped open the end, dumping the contents into her palm.
Inside was key with a tag.
"Hmmm..." Flipping it around in her hand, she noted his writing on the tag. P2 – 57. After giving it a minutes thought, it dawned on her.
The parking garage!
Flinging open her suitcase, she retrieved her jeans and t-shirt. Pulling her satiny night clothes off and tossing them on the bed, she dressed casually; boots, skirt, shirt. Slipping the room key and the little metal motorcycle key into her back pocket, she stood for a long minute regarding her image in the mirror. On her right arm, she always wore the three bands; two brown, one black.
She'd come a long way from being a broken, crying, lovesick mess, and now she felt like she was approaching something new, as she had four years ago. Once again it was time for courage. Life was all about change and as long as she didn't forget him and forget why he did what he did, she would be able to go on.
Maybe she'd try to talk to Serah soon as well; it was far overdue.
One step at a time...
She unbuckled the two brown pieces of leather, laying them across the marble vanity. Stroking the lone token left tied on her bicep with her middle and index finger, she closed her eyes. He was always with her no matter where she went and she wouldn't have it any other way.
Taking a second to ruffle her black hair, she nodded at herself, peeking into the main part of the room to make sure Interceptor was still asleep. She should have known better than to think he might have been awake at this hour. Before leaving the room, she retrieved the little picture album she always carried on her person in her leg pack, tucking it in her other back pocket.
Lightning wasn't used to being in such lavish surroundings. The interior of the building was larger than she had anticipated and it took a few minutes to make her way, somewhat excitedly, to the parking garage. As the elevator doors opened to reveal brightly painted concrete columns indicating on what level she was, she made her way around to the appropriately numbered lane of parked vehicles.
Fifty... two...
Fifty... three..
Looking down the line, she saw it sitting there under the yellow after hours illumination; black and sleek.
So we meet again. She chuckled and threw her leg over to sit astride it, her skirt sliding up her thighs, fitting the key in the ignition to make sure it fit. It felt good to have the beautiful chunk of metal between her legs again. Leaning forward on the handles she remembered when that was the only friend she had.
If she had brought her leathers she would have taken the old girl out for a spin, but the cold smooth steel heated up against her thighs as the humidity glued them to it. Chafing wasn't pleasant, so she decided to forego the ride tonight. She had no use for this item back at home, so she assumed that maybe this, and the promotion was a deal sweetener for whatever Amodar and this 'General' from NORA had in mind for her.
She had never given much of a thought to who had taken over for Snow after he passed, but she assumed it was probably one of the more senior members. It wasn't Hope, even though he said he had spent some time with them. Maybe Gadot or Serah's friend Maqui, though he would still be quite young for such a task. Either way, whoever it was would probably be shocked to see her of all people tomorrow. It would be troublesome and they'd probably make a big deal out of it, but she'd cross that bridge when she got there.
Tucking the key back into her pocket, and with a slight spring in her step, she made her way back to the main floor of the hotel, to find the bar the helpful girl on the phone had mentioned.
The fact that it was a weeknight was readily apparent when she stepped foot into the low key atmosphere. Crossing the darkened room, she passed by the male piano player who was playing a tranquil but complicated sounding piece. She hadn't heard much piano in her day, though she heard her grandmother used to play often when she was a young lady. The tinkle of the decorative piano was relaxing; the notes like muse-inspired raindrops upon her ears.
Taking a seat at the bar she explained her phone conversation about the restaurant's kitchen woes and dropped the appropriate name. Met with a smile and a warm demeanour, the brunette barista disappeared into the back after taking Lightning's order from a rather deficient menu posted on the bar. Made up entirely of greasy finger foods, Lightning found a compromise in some tasty sounding deep fried vegetables and dipping sauce.
Reaching around to pull the small booklet from her pocket, she set it on the bar and flipped through its pages. There were a couple pictures of her when she was just a baby, before Serah came. After that there were pictures of her holding her baby sister, then more pictures of little Claire and little Serah getting into all sorts of trouble looking painfully innocent all the while. With the exception the photos when she was just a baby, Lightning could remember a story associated with almost every picture. Things were so simplistic when they were young; before she had become Lightning. They never wanted for anything, always had what they needed and had more love than they knew what to do with.
Eventually the picture book didn't run out of pages so much as it ran out of photos. The last few pictures featured Lightning frowning, but the very last one had a scowling Lightning and an excited Serah standing in front of a dress boutique in downtown Bodhum. They were shopping for the older sister's first formal school dance. In Lightning's opinion. a dress store was the absolute wrong place to be shopping. She fought her mother tooth and nail, at first begging not to have to go, and when she saw her mother wasn't going to budge, she 'compromised' and said she'd go to the stupid dance but she wasn't going to wear a dress of all things. She would have rather attended such a gathering in jeans.
Appealing to her father to talk some sense into her mother, he advised her with an apologetic look that it was in fact mom that had the last word. Triumphantly mother announced she would go to the school dance and she would wear a dress and that was final.
Lightning sulked for days about it with Serah telling her the whole time that she was so lucky to be going to the dance and that she was jealous and that she would have worn the dress without argument.
In the end Lightning didn't do either of the things her mother lovingly demanded she do. She didn't go to the dance and she didn't wear that dress.
A month before the dance, her parents got sick and passed on, leaving the two girls alone.
As far as she knew, that dress was still tucked away in her closet, unworn to this day.
Silly as it was, Lightning blamed herself in a way. If she would have just worn the damn dress and not put up a fight maybe something might have changed to allow her mother and father to remain alive. She knew it was pointless to think that way, but even the smallest ripples in a pond created waves somewhere down the line. All her decisions, good and bad, had led her to this very point in time. She'd lost another person she cared about because of a decision she had made and all the wishing in the world wasn't going to change that. In all cases she had to come to terms with the fact that her parents were dead and that he was dead. Nothing was going to bring them back.
Coming to the last page in the book, she looked at the pressed, dried out flower. There should have been another flower pressed within these pages, but somehow she managed to lose it somewhere. That silly little flower she'd put both her and Hope's lives in danger for had disappeared. She had her suspicions that Interceptor got a hold of it and ate it, but she really had no idea what actually happened. Where did things go when they were lost? Where did people go when they were lost?
Boisterous laughter came from the front door of the establishment, startling her enough that she flipped the book closed hastily.
The woman who was tending to her dinner re-entered the room, platter in hand.
Lightning's stomach grumbled again, the salty smell of the deep fried food wafting to her nose.
"Ah hell! I forgot. If I'm not back, start without me!" said an oddly familiar voice at the back of the room.
It took a second, but the sound that had reached her ear told her that it was him; her desperate heart warring with her logical brain. Nothing was going to bring him back but without a doubt her heart told her that the voice belonged to Snow Villiers. Swivelling on the stool, she quickly surveyed the bar's occupants, but there were no tall blonds among them; no familiar faces at all. Launching herself off the stool, garnering odd looks from the new occupants as she ran out the front door, looking from side to side in an attempt to track the man. She didn't see him, but the revolving front door was still circling. Dashing towards it, she slipped inside and pushed her way through as quickly as she could manage. It couldn't have revolved any slower; seconds creeping by as she waited to be free of the contraption. Once outside, she was breathless with anticipation looking up and down each side of the street to no avail. Bathed in the artificial light from a single streetlamp above her, she sighed.
Idiot. Just when are you gonna get it through your thick skull?
They say a little hope does wonders, and sometimes it did, but other times hope was downright devastating.
She had hardly gotten any sleep last night. She kept hearing that voice in the head. The deep resonating timbre that was so familiar, but so ghostly and distant, she wondered if it wasn't her mind playing tricks on her again. Surely someone else in the world possessed the same voice as he. She should have asked the men who the unknown voice belonged to, but embarrassment got the best of her and she decided to wait in the bar for the promised return that never came to pass.
Either way, he'd been on her mind lately despite the fact that she tried to keep him locked away far beneath conscious thought. How silly she must have looked to turn her head at the sound, like he'd been whispering in her ear, and chase after the phantom like some lovesick teenager out the door into the night.
He's dead. He's not coming back.
Lightning wondered how many times she told herself that.
In the early days she'd seen 'him' everywhere; someone tall, someone blond, rough hands, a familiar laugh in her ear. That had been the hardest part of losing him. If he'd simply died and faded from her memory she thought she'd be fine, but he never went away. No matter how she tried to forget him and leave him behind, he haunted her. Over the years it got easier to say his name to herself and eventually she was able to remember, with appreciation, the short and sweet time they'd been granted on their journey to save the world. Over the years her heart ached less, but the old wound festered still. It would be there always; like the jagged wound on her side reminding her that she wasn't invincible as she liked to think.
Two sleepless nights was about her limit these days.
Amodar's decision to put her back on the job had been a point of worry for her. She didn't know if she was ready, but clearing out potential threats sounded like a good time. She sure liked a good fight, but she'd be forced to work with other people this time around. That was what she wasn't sure of.
Hope's emotional proposition troubled her deeply. With no idea what to think or feel about her young friend now that her suspicion was spoken into existance, she wondered what would have happened if she would have taken him up on his offer, oddly timed as it was. With trembling hands and honest body Hope declared his love. No one had ever done anything like that for her. Even though it was confusing and difficult to hear and feel, she had to admit that there was a thin line of aroused interest.
Given time and opportunity, she liked to think that those words would have flowed freely from Snow's lips. If it had been Snow and not Hope that begged her to run away with him she would never have given it a second thought and they'd be halfway to anywhere by now.
She felt heavy and appropriately exhausted this morning but didn't have time to make any coffee in her hotel room before tromping uninspiredly across the street to Amodar's office tower.
Hell, I barely even remember getting dressed.
A silly thought popped in her head and she looked down at herself to make sure she was in fact dressed and she laughed at herself. She needed to wake up.
"The General awaits your arrival in conference room five, Lieutenant." said a cheery voice, greeting her as she entered the building. It was curious the woman at the front even knew who she was.
Lightning just nodded her thanks tiredly, stifling a yawn.
The receptionist grinned knowingly at her and pointed over to a table set with clean glass coffee cups and a small coffee machine. "Help yourself."
"Thanks." she muttered nearly incoherently, relieved as she made a bee line for the table, her boot heels breaking the deep silence of the common area. She was running late, but whoever the suit was waiting for her in the conference room, he could wait. She wasn't much for social graces these days, and that included being on time. Amodar wouldn't be present; but he had mentioned off-handedly that he'd heard good things about the General, being assured that he was a good man. Lightning didn't care about the man's character; she just wanted to do this job and get on with things.
Her hands felt weak as she slipped them around the handle of the carafe, filling the mug with steaming coffee. It smelled strong; just how she liked it. No sugar, no cream, black as her hair. She turned towards the reception desk and spared an appreciative smile for the observant girl that manned it. "Have a great day, Lieutenant. Farron."
Maybe I will now. She thought, hugging the hot cup in her hands, making for the conference room.
Her heels clicked almost hypnotically on the bare floor of the hallway, as she glanced at the plates by the various vacant rooms. Conference room five looked to be all the way down at the end of the hall. She stopped when she came to stand in front of the door; anxious as she reached a hand out to the cool steel handle, turning it. The conference room housed a long mahogany table with a few chairs around its perimeter. She came in silently, and closed the door behind her before surveying the room. Her gaze followed the runway of a meeting table to the figure that stood with his back to her at the its head, looking out the plate windows, bathed in the sunlight of the early morning.
He wore a suit; it was tailored to fit his form perfectly. The man was very tall and well built with wild blond hair that took her breath away.
"You're late." said an eerily familiar voice, tempered with a friendly, teasing tone.
Time stopped, all sounds drowned out by the deafness in her ears as he spoke.
Her hand loosened around the handle of the glass mug, and it slipped from her grasp, her mouth agape, heart faltering from its usual steady rhythm.
When the glass shattered on floor he turned around, alarmed, barely seeing her face before she dropped to her knees. Stunned, it didn't register right away who he was looking at. As he examined her, his heartbeat surged. Her hair was black, but was distinctly hers. On her upper arm was the signature Farron sister token, her old buckled leather strip and in the middle of the two... his favourite bandana. He almost couldn't believe it.
Lightning stared down at the shards of glass for a moment before starting to pick up the razor sharp pieces.
No. It can't be him. I must be...
She shook her head wondering if someone had slipped something in her coffee. She was definitely hallucinating; dreaming at the very least. What a mess she had made. The hot coffee that had spilled all over the floor and her boots, kept her thoughts occupied. She couldn't pay attention to what she'd seen when she walked into the room; it made her feel broken all over again.
Gotta clean this up. What a mess... I need some paper towel...
A large shard slipped from her shaking hand and cut her fingertip as the pile clattered back to the floor. "Ow..." She looked at her hand, a drop of blood squeezing out from the superficial wound. Her eyes locked on the crimson trail it left as it started to ooze down her fingertip. Out of focus beyond her hand, she saw large boots approaching. They halted in front of her. Don't look at them. It's not him. It can't be.
Snow leaned forward, extending his hand to grip her wrist. Feeling her tremble, very real beneath him, made him sigh with inexplicable relief. She was dead weight and clearly confused about the whole scenario, so he sank to his knees with her and slid a strong arm around her waist. Tears stung his eyes as he clutched her, his free hand on the back of her head buried in her hair. She didn't return the embrace, and as he pulled back from her, he saw her destitute eyes staring at her finger. He took her hand in his as he examined the small cut. It was bleeding. His expression turned painfully tender as he raised the slender finger to his mouth, watching her face.
She clamped her eyes shut, terrified that if this was a dream it was about to crumble and fall away, leaving her to wake up back home in her bed without him as always.
All thought ceased with the slight sting on the pad of her finger as it passed lips into the warmness of his mouth and she breathed in deeply. His unmistakable male aroma, accompanied by the faint smell of unfamiliar cologne curled within her nostrils.
Now this is a dream. She revelled. No dream to date had been so vividly real. He sucked gently on the wound, brushing his tongue over it, making her shudder in delight.
Heavenly...
Taking the digit out of his mouth, he rested her hand on his chest and took her fully in his arms again, feeling more complete than he had in years, as though no time had passed between them at all.
"Lightning." he murmured against her black hair, stroking it, trying to breathe her in thirstily... greedily. The rare bloom had finally come back into his arms. "Oh, Light." She remained rigid in his embrace and he pulled back again to look in her face. Her eyes were closed this time, her features were serene, the hint of a strange little smile on her lips. "Look at me."
One helluva dream, alright. I hope I have this one again tomorrow... but I'll skip the coffee and get right to the good part.
"Lightning. Look at me." he repeated, touching her cheek with the back of his hand.
Her blue eyes opened slowly to meet his, and in that instant she could swear that her heart stopped beating in her chest. He raised her hand to his face and rubbed her knuckles over his ever present stubble. She forgot to breathe; his hand tightened around hers. Neither one of them could say anything; their voices both choked into silence with things left unresolved.
She was motionless and everything about him came flooding back around her. Single tears dripped from the corners of her eyes as she blinked away the quickly gathering heat. Everything she missed about him was now overwhelmingly within reach. All the things she longed for and all the feelings she had tried so hard to kill came rushing back. Sobbing, she wavered and leaned against him for support like she had many times before. His eyes were soft and compassionate as he looked at her face seeing both the confusion and understanding housed there.
"Where have you been?" he asked, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He crushed her against him again, but couldn't hold her as close as he wanted; their physical bodies in the way of the affection he wanted so desperately to immerse her in.
"You're... alive." she said, her words muffled, her face buried in his warm chest. He could feel the tears soak through his shirt as she clutched the lapels of his jacket so tightly her knuckles turned white. "How...?"