A/N: I apologize for not getting this out in my usual more-or-less timely manner. I honestly had a hard time writing it... and if I'm being honest, tears were shed in the creation of this chapter!
Please enjoy it this, the final chapter of Misdirection. If it pleases you, let me know your thoughts.
With a gentle kiss pressed to his forehead, she spoke confidently. "I won't be long."
Snow watched Lightning leave the kitchen with long purposeful strides, dumbfounded.
"Worst timing ever..." he muttered picking up her coffee mug, toting it over to the well used coffee carafe to fill it. He knew Lightning must have been dedicated to her work if she was going to get up in the middle of a proposal of all things. Replacing the mug at her spot at the table, he went back to the stove to serve the table before anything got any colder than it already was.
Having dished out the food, he sat down alone in front of his lovingly prepared breakfast, pushing his fork around the plate, not wanting to eat anything before she returned. The silk box that had once contained the jewelled averia sat empty and open on the table. He picked it up in his hand, opening and closing it mechanically.
His nerves were shot. He hadn't been this nervous about asking Serah to marry him, but Lightning had been an ordeal. He hadn't been planning on popping the question originally and was just going to offer the token as a symbol of his enduring affection, but he made the last minute change only this morning. He just didn't want to waste a single moment this time. Even if she said no, that wouldn't have changed his plan of loving her for the rest of his life, but it would have been more than he could have ever hoped for if she had said yes.
Snapping the box shut once more, he placed it back on the table.
Standing a bit frustratedly, he trudged into the bedroom to grab a shirt just in case her conversation was brought inside. It was odd though that she had gone to answer the knock wearing only the t-shirt he himself had been sporting yesterday.
She had almost seemed a bit anxious about it too.
Once in the bedroom, he saw his old bandana sprawled out over her pillow. A smile returning to his face, he crossed the room and picked it up, raising it to his nose. Taking a deep breath, her comforting scent soothed his mind of worries and tension. Once again that romantic in him made him consider how wonderful it would be if he could feel this way for the rest of his life.
"Exactly who do you think you are?" shouted Lightning from outside.
Concerned at the tone of his love's voice, he looked out the long windows of her bedroom. Through them, he could see Lightning standing there in his shirt and Hope Estheim standing across from her.
Ah hell.
Stuffing the memento inside of his pocket, he made for the front door. Lightning was coiled dangerously, but Snow knew the kid had it coming... sooner or later. Either way, he wanted to be out there to help her in any way he could, and maybe prevent her from ending Hope out of the rage she was radiating.
Opening the door to the front, Snow jumped down the short set of stairs but stopped dead with a surprised gasp when he witnessed Lightning backhand the tall boy, sending him staggering back.
...or maybe she's got this. He grinned inwardly. Snow felt bad for Hope to be on the wrong side of Lightning's temper, but he'd incurred her wrath and now he had to deal with it. After all, the blond had been there many times.
Snow was still angry at the kid too, but he thought Lightning was more than capable of conveying their mutual anger.
"What the hell is he doing here?" snarled Hope, regaining his footing, but not taking his squinted eyes off his former mentor.
Snow slowly approached Lightning's side, staying quiet, not taking his eyes off the kid either. Something about Hope's glare made his hair stand on end.
"That's none of your business, Hope." Lightning replied coolly.
A look of disgust came over Hope's face as his gaze shifted from her half clothed body to Snow's bare chest. Hope's youthful face turned red with anger. "How could you, Snow? I told you that I..."
"How could I?" Snow shook his head, unable to stay silent. His deep voice resonated in the tension filled distance between them. "And what did you think was going to happen when she found out that I wasn't dead? How long were you going to pretend? Do you have any idea how much Light was hurting?"
Referring to Lightning's feelings and sadness made him feel intensely protective, but he refrained from reaching out a hand to her. She didn't need any help from him right now, and he didn't want to overstep his boundaries.
"I..." Hope faltered. "I didn't think about all that." In spite of his uncertain words he recovered, his tone growing bold. "But if she loved me then she'd forget all about you!"
"You can't have a relationship founded on lies! You're not stupid, Hope. You knew Snow and I had something together, but instead of either helping or leaving well enough alone, you chose to take advantage of the circumstances and betrayed us both." She gritted her teeth. "I thought you were better than that."
When Hope spoke to Lightning the edge left his voice. "But Snow had Serah! I was the one that was supposed to love you forever, Light." His eyes pleaded, reflecting the naive fantasies they once held. "You were supposed to have come with me when I came for you..."
Her features took a fleeting reprieve from anger to crease in unbelieving understanding before her temper took over once again. She took a heavy step towards the green eyed boy.
"You fucking knew he'd be there in Leámonde." She seethed, her voice growing louder with each word as she descended upon him. He could see her muscles quiver as she clenched her fists. "That's why you wanted me to go with you...!"
Snow sidestepped in front of his lover, his back to the offender, attempting to stop her with his outstretched hands. More than wanting to protect Hope from Lightning, he wanted to protect Lightning from herself. If she did something to Hope, she'd most likely regret it, no matter what had transpired between them. After all, he was just a kid; albeit a conniving and manipulative kid, but a kid nonetheless.
"Light... It's ok." Snow spoke low enough that only she could hear him.
"No, it's not! But it will be once I pulverize him..." she growled as she tried to move Snow with her body, forcing him to plant his bare feet in the ground to hold her back. She needed to cool down. The honeysuckle scent of her hair kept his mind on the goal of keeping her safe.
"Light. It's not worth it. We're together now. Let's just move on." appealed Snow quietly, putting his hands on her shoulders, pressing his fingertips affectionately into her cotton covered flesh.
"But he knew you were alive." The fierce ice in her blue eyes melted as she lost herself in his warm ones. From the day he met the beautiful and intense Lightning Farron, he never thought that he would ever be the person who could temper her. He was sure that she had hated him when they met, but things were very different now.
Her once angry voice turned to a whisper. "How much time did we waste because of him...?"
He caressed her cheek lovingly with the back of his hand, sliding his fingers into her hair, smiling down at her. "We have all the time in the world now -"
"I'm still here Snow, you bastard. Don't touch her like that in front of me!" screamed Hope, his voice cracking with emotion.
Snow scowled slightly as Lightning took her attention away from him, and looked at the unwelcome interloper. Lightning's eyes grew wide and she threw her weight into Snow's side, pivoting them around quickly, Lightning's back now to Hope. They groaned together in agony as a blinding burst of light enveloped the pair, throwing Lightning's body forward into her lover's. The light and inertia of her slamming against him had been accompanied by a ripping pain spanning his belly. As the light dissipated, he looked down at Lightning who was staring at his bloody stomach; the wound oozing crimson. It didn't feel awful, and he could breathe unfettered, but Lightning was doused in his blood as well.
So much blood...
His gaze fell on Hope when he gasped in shock. Lightning was touching Snow's bare torso experimentally, her eyes trained on it, black hair obscuring her face. "It's ok. I'll live..." Assured Snow, taking her soiled hands in his for a moment. They were rigid, but he gave them a quick squeeze before freeing them.
But now I'm pissed.
Beginning his own descent on the teenager, Hope backed away from him. The kid needed to be dealt with. "No! Stop! Stay away from me, Snow!" Hope warned, his voice shaky. Raising his arms against the coming onslaught, Snow saw the haunting red and black brand of the l'Cie on Hope's thin wrist glowing ominously.
"What the hell was that, Hope? You could have hurt Light...!"
Another light blinded him, stopping the giant of a man in his tracks. Pain ripped through him again, daring to bring him to his knees. He pressed on stubbornly, barely affected through the anger, but soon was reduced to a stagger while enduring one soul shredding bolt after the other before he got within arms-reach of the kid.
The second Snow was within arms reach of Hope's face, he swung a devastating fist towards the boy, connecting with his cheek to feel the bone crack under the impact, sending Hope flying backwards to land some feet behind his original position. Snow bent down and picked up the lanky male by the bloodied scruff of his neck and prepared another blow. Hope's face was already swollen; nose and lips coated in his rapidly clotting blood.
He sputtered, expelling red tinged spittle from his throat, as Snow held him easily off his feet with one large hand. "Li...ght..." Hope choked out, sounding panicked. Snow raised an eyebrow, as he hadn't said anything in the way of his own self preservation, and just her name alone wasn't going to save him from Snow's wrath.
No.
There was something else.
Some sort of terror in his eyes as they shifted to where Snow had left Lightning only moments ago. "I... didn't mean to..." The silver-haired teenager began to choke as tears gathered in his eyes. "...acc...i...dent..."
Snow followed the slight turn of Hope's head just as Lightning's knees gave out underneath her, collapsing in near slow motion.
Dropping Hope unceremoniously into a crumpled heap, Snow dashed back to Lightning as quick as he could, his body screaming in pain, every nerve over-stimulated and raw due to the repeated attacks. Reaching her before she hit the ground, he let her softly fall into him.
"Light?" he breathed, dropping to his knees with her in his protective arms.
Her face was deathly pale; skin damp and clammy. His shirt she wore had a tattered blood soaked hole in it just below her ribcage. Her brows were knit together, the pain was tight on her face as her body trembled stiffly with shock and spasms. She could barely breathe let alone talk, but her lips parted and she managed to stutter his name.
It didn't take long before he realized the dire alarm of the situation.
No... This can't be happening...
"Shh, Light." Snow laid her on the grass and pushed his hands inside the hole, ripping it open to expose her abdomen. He choked down a gasp of dread as he saw the way Hope's first attack had ravaged her body.
Blackened flesh surrounded a bloody, gaping hole in her the size of his fist. When she pivoted around to thrust herself in front of the big blond to take the brunt of Hope's destructive rage, the lightning strike had filtered through her body before it reached him.
"I-it's... b-bad... isn't it...?"
He tried to cap off the drowning fright in his chest before looking at her.
"Naw. You'll be ok." he smiled down into her face, hoisting her against him. Her eyes rolled back and forth; disoriented as her eyelids fluttered, fighting to stay open. Not wanting to take his watchful eye off her for a second, he reluctantly glanced to see where Hope was.
Sprawled on the ground where he landed, he could hear Hope cough and spit. He called out Hope's name, dazed and in shock. Lightning needed immediate attention if she was to have any chance at all but first and foremost, he had to stop the bleeding in order to move her.
"Snow..." sputtered Lightning. He looked down at her, forgetting all about the young man. "F-forgive him. I know what he's d-done – what he did is t-terrible... b-but he's just a k-kid."
Just like her to forgive that boy – no that man; the same one who might have very well snuffed out her flame of life with a single burst of uncontrolled anger. She didn't have to forgive him, but he understood why she would want to now. He would have never told her but if he was destined to lose her at Hope's hand, he wasn't sure he could carry out a request for his forgiveness.
Of all the things that Hope could have done... he had to take away the one thing that meant everything to Snow. He would have taken any punishment that Hope wanted to hand out; he could break all his bones, or drag his name through the mud even try to turn Lightning against him but as long as at the end he and Lightning were still alive he'd pursue her relentlessly and demonstrate his love for her at every given opportunity.
But now all that felt impossible.
He was choked up; his throat barely able to let him swallow against the tears that welled in his eyes. Snow planned to grow old with this woman and never thought that either of their deaths would arrive so soon.
After the first attack, he had initially thought that she was covered in his blood, but the sad reality was that he had been soaked in hers. Her blood on his hands was the one thing he never gave a thought to... but it had come to pass.
"Shhh. Save your strength. You'll need it for when we get you to Leámonde."
"Leá...monde...? I-I won't make i-it t-there." She was shivering.
"Yes, you will. You'll make it and you'll get better and then we'll do whatever you want."
"No!" she coughed, gripping his hand.
"Whaddya mean, 'no'?"
"I want to die here. This is my home."
"Dammit, Light..."
She smiled slightly, the crimson lining her lips made Snow's stomach lurch with undesired knowledge. Even though he didn't want to admit it... she was right; somehow they both knew she wouldn't make it to the city.
"Snow..." She took as deep a breath as she could, fresh blood pouring unhindered from the wound, a grimace creased her fine features. "I... was going to say yes."
That's right. He was going to ask her to marry him. He had expected her to slug him or laugh at him or at the very least refuse him. But now as she lay dying in his arms, his body stained with the life that trickled out of her uncontrollably, he chuckled, trying to hide the heartbreak her words, never to be realized, caused within him.
Fresh tears stung his eyes. "You sure you want to marry some moron like me?"
She only nodded gently, unable to reply.
Touching his forehead to hers, he tried again to push a grin onto his lips, but his chin quivered and his eyes began to run. His tears dripped onto her ashen cheeks and he shook his head, warm droplets flying in every direction.
Snow propped her up against him to free both his hands, one around the back of her head, stroking her adorned temple, the other across her chest, holding onto her shoulder securely. Lightning began to tug weakly at something sticking out of his pocket. Looking down, he whipped the black piece of cotton out of his pocket and held it against her palm, lacing his fingers with hers, to trap it in the middle of their grasp.
Had they really come all this way just to say good-bye now?
"I will find you... wherever you go, Light." His throat constricted again. He didn't know what would be next for her, but he could do so little for her now... it was out of his hands.
This time there would be no finding her in this world. There would be no call, he'd never hear her voice again, he'd never touch her skin; never find solace within her, against her. She would be gone forever and he didn't know if he could handle that. He had no idea how she managed to survive the last four years thinking he was dead... for he believed with a cold certainty that he would be unable to live without her.
He bent to place a kiss against her forehead.
"I wish we had more time." She remarked with an unusual note of emotion in her voice. He'd only heard her genuine voice as many times as they had days together, and always during the times when they were the most intimate. It was like she saved the most beautiful; the most honest notes for him, but now it almost ripped out his tattered heart and he would have done anything to turn back time in order to never hear that note of sad honesty this day; this minute from the woman he loved more than life itself.
Snow brushed darkened tendrils of hair from her face, never taking his fingers off her cool skin, knowing that he was now experiencing the same loss that she had years ago. He had tried to keep the thought from his mind, but he could think of nothing else as she slipped away from him.
Every breath was difficult for her and the vibrations that wracked her body could be felt by her fair sentinel.
She offered him a brave smile that he fought to return.
She is not long for this world. A voice in his head forewarned.
With great difficulty, she raised her hand to caress his stubbly cheek which he quickly engulfed in his own. There was so much that she wanted to say to him... so many things... if she only had more time. It was impossible to sum up her feelings with the few words that remained for her, but she couldn't leave him with nothing when he deserved everything. "Thank you... for loving me"
Emotion swelled within him again. The words she spoke were coated in thick finality. "I never had a choice but to love you." He replied honestly. "My heart has been yours from the moment I saw you on the beach that day in Bodhum. You've been the only one."
She remembered that day.
The corner of her mouth turned up slightly, and tears now flowed freely from her eyes, distorting her vision. Why did he have to say such sweet things? Such things made her want to cling to him until she was healed and even past then to spend forever by his side. Not long ago had she longed for death and now that it was upon her, she simply longed for life.
No one knows the circumstances in which they will pass into whatever awaits them after life ebbs into darkness, and no one knows when, but for Lightning her life had been one cruel joke; one sadistic moment after the other. Now that she had found love and a reason to live, fate found it appropriate to tear her away from all of it.
It was nothing more than she deserved she supposed.
Maybe her sins would never be forgiven. Afterall, she felt that their union had been one born in shadow, something secret and ill-fated, and now things would come full circle. They had been doomed from the beginning but even though she knew that, there was no way Lightning could ever come to regret anything that happened between them. Fate could take her body; something beyond that repossess her soul, but their memory would live on as long as he did.
...Still so much to say that would never be said.
It was then Snow remembered Hope. If his old l'Cie powers had lingered, or returned, surely he'd be able to save Lightning's life!
Looking at the gangly kid quietly slouched over his knees, he called again for him. "Come and heal her, Hope! You have l'Cie powers, don't you?"
"I can't..." He saw Hope's head shake slowly; sadly. "not... anymore."
But why...?
Never in all his life did he ever feel ripped apart inside like he did right now. He'd felt useless before, but nothing ever like this. There was no anger, no rage. There was only a choking desperation that squeezed the breath from his lungs. Still stroking her hairline, Interceptor came to his master's side, pushing his muzzle against her bare and bloodied thigh. She moved her hand to rest on his curly head, her eyes never leaving Snow's as her breath became more shallow with every draw. He stared at her precious face, mouth open slightly, as her last exhale slipped from between those most beloved lips.
Snow watched as the delicate hand that had been resting on her faithful companion's head slipped off and meet the sullied grass soundlessly.
Just like that she was gone.
He looked at her sadly, her eyes still slightly open but dull and vacant. Brushing his fingertips over her lids, he helped closed her eyes for the last time and pressing his lips to hers he claimed a final kiss.
With that, he now he would be forever left to wander the world alone.
Clutching her cold body in his arms, he buried his head in her hair and sobbed silently. There was nothing else he could do.
What had she done when he had died? Had her heart felt as heavy and as empty as his did now; was her chest tight and did she feel sick to her stomach? Had she heard her own choked sobs in her pulse-pounding ears? Had she cried for him... and did she want to die without him?
The sound of uneven footsteps halting in front of him prompted Snow to raise his head. Snow looked up at the injured kid from his sunken seat in the red tinted grass and blinked. "Could you have saved her...?" he whispered, turning his gaze away, stroking her hair.
A bloodied and hunched Hope brandished a familiar dagger down in Snow's face. For a moment he hoped that maybe his old friend would just put him out of his misery, but Hope turned the blade around and offered the handle to Snow instead.
"Kill me." he requested with a broken voice. "I don't want to live."
Snow's heart was seized anew, and all he could do was stare at the blade. It was the same survival blade that Lightning had given to Hope many years ago when he had wished to end Snow's existence out of anger and misunderstanding. Hope had been such a sweet kid back then, full of promise and potential...
Hope's face turned hard. "Do it, Snow!" he shouted, shocking Snow out of his reverie.
"I won't." Snow said firmly, turning his eyes to the glinting crystal flower lodged in his love's hair, tears still finding their way out of his eyes.
"I killed her, Snow!" proclaimed Hope, fighting back his own tears. "I killed Light. Take your revenge and kill me!"
Snow just sat there and shook his head, emotion weighing his body down as well as the injuries he'd sustained at Hope's hands. His eyes stung and his stomach churned. For the first time he noticed not the scent of her honeysuckle hair or the paleness of her skin, but the sickening smell of her charred flesh.
He didn't want to let go of the empty shell that had once been Lightning Farron. The woman who he adored; the woman who he'd been blissfully inside of not half a day ago. He'd given himself to her and she'd not truly known that she had been his only one. Had he been given the chance, she would have known that he wanted it to stay that way, but he'd not been given the opportunity to admit that very personal and somewhat embarrassing tidbit of information before these devastating events transpired. The once pink haired ill-tempered girl had turned into a most amazing woman, but he always knew she was the only one for him.
Had he been given the chance he would have made her happy. He was sure of it.
Thank you for loving me.
These words had given him hope that maybe he had been able to make her happy in a small way, but he doubted that could ever be enough for him. Now that he had a taste of the nirvana she had brought him, he had no idea if he would be strong enough to go back to his lonesome life.
Laying her down flat on the grass, he wrapped the bandana around her hand, kissing the knot he tied in her palm.
Hope shoved Snow to the ground and screamed something at him, causing the blond to look up from his place on the stained grass, bewildered. Everything was becoming harder to focus on as he looked up at his young friend against the bright rays of sun. Hope's lips were moving, but the only thing that Snow could hear was the near-silent breeze through the trees and the rustling of leaves and the sounds of singing birds in the distance,as if nothing had happened. Didn't they know it was the the end of the world...?
Hope knelt before him, a thin hand sliding under Snow's chin as his head was forced forward, snapping him out of his peaceful disorientation.
Green eyes met blue and the kid's voice was very clear as it cut into Snow's soul.
"Kill me."
Snow inhaled deeply, holding Hope's gaze for a long moment. "She told me to forgive you... but..." he paused, staring Hope down. The older man's voice was very calm; almost too calm, his gaze scornful. "I want you to live with what you've done."
Hope looked hurt for a moment. Snow had never looked at anyone like with such distaste before and it seemed to take him aback, but soon he composed himself. Standing, Hope turned the blade on himself, training the blade over his heart. "Then I'll do it myself."
Snow's eyes widened in shock as he leapt to his feet, desperately reaching for Hope's arm. As he gripped it, Snow fought to stop Hope from carrying out his intentions. Sluggishness made his movements clumsy and the two tumbled to the ground in a flurry of tangled limbs.
Landing on top of and pinning Hope, the boy's eyes widened in surprise as they both lost their breath. A great puff of air from Snow's lungs was forced out by something pushing obstinately against his chest.
Snow rolled off the lithe boy and rubbed his face, gasping to return oxygen to his body, checking his chest for fresh wounds.
He found nothing other than the shared smeared blood on his torso, but could hear slight gasps from one who couldn't seem to catch his breath.
Quickly checking on his young friend, his eyes met with tragedy.
The horrific sight of the handle of Lightning's old knife jutting out of Hope's chest brought an overwhelming swell of nausea, and he jerked his head away from the scene, gagging and dry heaving behind him.
Fighting against the incessant tossing of his innards, Snow was finally able to return to Hope's body on his hands and knees. Hope had been stuck by the weapon during their struggle. Salty tears cut clean lines through the blood caked to his face; his jaded eyes were pools of terrified regret. Scared out of his wits, his breath was lost to him and quickly the eerie stillness of his chest and body was indication enough that he too was gone.
Overcome with lethargy and loss, Snow's body began to shut down. Trauma took its toll as his own eyes became heavy, his limbs becoming impossible to move, but somehow he crawled to Lightning's body, reaching his hands out in front of him to take hers wrapped in the bandana before blackness overtook him.
"It looks like we'll be able to stabilize him, but it's a good thing he's such a big boy..."
"..."
Snow heard voices around him speaking, but he couldn't manage to open his eyes yet. His body felt so heavy and warm and soon he slipped back into darkness.
"...I don't know. He keeps muttering a name in his sleep..."
"..."
Words and voices, the sounds of quiet curiosity and pity swirled around him as he dipped in and out of consciousness.
"...but he's lucky to be alive. They say that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, but from the looks of him and the extent of the damage it looks like he got hit half a dozen times..."
"..."
Lightning...
"He should be coming around soon..."
"..."
The world came into focus as he opened his weary eyes, blinking slowly to clear the glaze from his disused sight.
A face twisted with interested concern pushed its way into his field of view. It was Colonel Amodar.
Obviously, and much to his own dismay, Snow was alive.
"Villiers! You're finally awake!"
Snow frowned, turning his head away towards the window. His neck ached as he moved and was quickly aware of every pain and stiffened muscle in his body. Amodar moved away from the bed and sat down in a chair by the door.
He tried to keep his mind blank, tried desperately to not think about anything; or anyone... or why he was in the hospital and not by her side. But if he wasn't going to think about her, what else would he think about?
What else was there but her?
Maybe it had all been just a bad dream and if he didn't recall the details... maybe that would mean it didn't actually happen.
There was no such luck in store for him and not long after Snow woke, as the cobwebs in his head were beginning to clear, Amodar had him shuffling in a hospital gown down a drab, drafty corridor.
"They need you to identify the two you were found with."
The two... bodies.
Snow sighed as reality came rushing back around him and swallowed tightly. They walked silently side by side until they came to a stop in front of a set of double doors. Amodar opened them and ushered the taller man in first.
The room they entered was cold and two bodies lay covered, each on their own icy steel tables.
He wished he'd never ever have to see a place like this ever again.
His bare feet were stuck to the floor out of fear and apprehension for what was about to come. No longer could he fight back the recollection of what happened a short time ago, his memory now sharp and painfully complete. He knew even without looking which empty faces waited to be uncovered; to be given names. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, his heart yearned for her quiet strength to help him through this time.
But forever his yearnings and pleas for help and warmth would remain unanswered.
Snow would never understand what grievous injury he caused to anyone that the instant his love was realized it was snatched away from him. What did he ever do to anyone to deserve this? What did she ever do?
It wasn't fair.
Life wasn't fair.
If it had to be one or the other, Snow wished it could have been him.
"Villiers. What the hell happened out there?"
Of course Amodar didn't know. How could he have? No one knew except for him. Afterall, these empty flesh vessels would tell no stories; reveal no secrets.
Snow didn't answer the question posed, prompted by the look of sadness etched upon his features.
Instead, he took short strides to the taller of the two bodies and drew back the sheet to expose the dull silver hair and young, smooth features of his one time fraternal brother. He swallowed tightly as he gazed upon Hope's face. The blood had be cleansed and Hope looked at peace.
Snow had wanted Hope to live. He wanted Hope to feel even a sliver of the pain that Snow felt; wanted Hope to be haunted by what he'd done to the woman they loved. The kid had brought ruin upon him in the worst way imaginable. One day he'd been flying higher than he'd ever been in his life and the next he was standing in a veritable tomb with his cherished consort beside him less a soul and the blush of life. Pulling the sheet down a little farther, Snow took Hope's thin wrist in his hand and examined the mark of the l'Cie.
From behind him, he heard the sharp intake of Amodar's breath as he witnessed the unveiling of the now white and useless looking brand. It looked just like Fang's had all those years ago.
"A l'Cie?"
Snow nodded, staring.
"What was his focus?"
Only the shock-induced numbness in his heart for the boy he loved as though they shared the same blood allowed him to speak.
"I don't know. I had no idea he had even been branded..." Snow muttered. "I mean... I had my suspicions..."
But things happened so fast after that.
Replacing the boy's arm at his side, Snow ran his hands over his face, through his messy hair and sighed.
Why didn't he tell me? Did he hate me that much? He wasn't alone... he was never alone.
"I don't know why he didn't tell anyone..."
With one last glance at the once scared and twisted, but now peaceful face, Snow returned the cover to Hope's body and turned hesitantly to the table behind him.
Reaching a hand down to grasp the white sheet that covered her, his hand stilled.
He closed his eyes, stopping himself from drawing it back from her countenance, simply unable and unwilling to gaze upon her corpse. Snow wanted to remember her alive and beautiful and feisty... not dead. Looking at her unresponsive expression wasn't the only way to identify her. Sliding his hand under the cool cloth that covered her body, he searched out the unique gash on her side that would have, once-upon-a-time, made her quiver with anticipation and made him want more.
Now the marked flesh under his fingertips only made him want to weep, but he couldn't take his hand off her body as his warmth seeped into her.
The only thing he'd ever wanted to do was to take care of her and keep her safe. With her in his arms, everything felt right. The world stilled, the unknown wasn't scary and there wasn't a speck of darkness within his heart, but now there was nothing but black emptiness.
And it hurt more than any physical wound he'd ever endured.
"We..." Snow started weakly, clearing his throat, the sound deafening in the silence.
Amodar laid a hand on his large shoulder. "It's ok. Lets go get you discharged."
Snow shook his head lightly. "Can I... just... have a minute?"
Amodar nodded. "Of course. I'll be outside."
When the doors closed behind him, returning darkness to the chilly room, Snow clutched the side of the table where Lightning Farron lay stone dead, sinking to his knees.
And he wept.
Sleep wouldn't come, nor did he want it to. He didn't want to see what his dreams had in store for him. He was sure he'd be made to relive the recent past and he felt if he had been made to do that he'd surely go insane.
It had only been a day since he had been let out of the hospital with a good prognosis for a full recovery.
His body would recover, but the rest of him felt dead.
Without the chance of hope or light being restored in his heart, he was lost.
He'd dressed in the suit he wore the first day he'd be reunited with her; the little crystal flower tucked into the hole of his lapel. It was a little rumpled but it was almost a comfort to wear it.
Snow stared blankly out the window of Amodar's office while the Colonel made a few calls and scribbled on some related paperwork.
He'd probably wear it for her service too...
A knock came at the door.
"Come in."
He didn't look at the door as it opened, barely noting the footfalls as someone entered or the click from the latch as it closed behind the visitor.
"Ah! Zack! Thanks for stopping by." said Amodar amiably.
Zack...
With a flat gaze Snow turned to look at the tall man with black spiky hair. He recognized him from time gone by and references from her. It was Lightning's companion he'd seen at the club back then. He tried to remember what she had said his name was, but his memory failed him.
They looked at each other curiously, but Zack was the first to offer his hand in greeting.
"Zack Fair."
Standing rigidly, Snow took the calloused hand and shook it firmly. "Snow Villiers."
The dark haired man's mouth opened slightly as though he was surprised.
"That's who I thought you were." he said with a pained look in his unusually bright eyes. Zack looked away and released the blond's hand as Amodar spoke.
"Zack was sent by the courier company to track down Hope Esthiem due to his absences over the past few days. He's the one that found you three."
Zack nodded in somber agreement, watching Snow carefully from the corner of his eye.
Amodar made some small talk with the newest occupant of the room, shuffling things around on his desk.
Sitting back down, Snow couldn't take his eyes off the tall man. This had been the man that kept Lightning company for so long in his own absence.
He couldn't help but feel he owed this man a great debt, but at the same time he felt envious that this Zack Fair had got to spend so much more time with the object of his affection than he did.
When Lightning had spoke of him, she did so in a warm way; much like she did when she talked about Serah or old friends. She'd had a bond with this man, and now Snow couldn't help but wonder what Lightning's fate would have been were he not in the picture. If fate had never set him on the path to Leámonde and it had been Yuj who had attended the briefing just a few short days ago, Lightning would still be alive.
Perhaps one day in the future they would have met up. Maybe not long from now. Perhaps Yuj would have been the one to give her the news that Snow lived and perhaps she would have went back to Bodhum in search of him. If he had found out first where she was, he would have sought her out. It would have happened eventually. He was sure of it.
And as that path was tread... this path wouldn't have come to pass.
Amodar finally found the paperwork he was searching for and set it down on the end of his desk with a pen. "Just need your signature here if you wouldn't mind, Zack..." He pointed out an empty signature line. The black haired man pressed pen to paper and Amodar pointed out another to sign. "And here." Another signature.
"That's all then?" asked Zack, dropping the pen in a holder on the Colonel's desk.
"Yeah, that should just about do it." nodded Amodar, gathering the freshly marked paper and sticking it in a file.
Zack stood and nodded to the two men, turning back towards the door.
"Oh. I almost forgot." He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a small letter with Lightning's name neatly scrawled on the front. "I guess I should give this to you. I found it in Hope's locker at work." He offered the otherwise unblemished envelope to Snow.
The blond stared at it for a moment, hesitating, staring at the name written in his young friend's neat hand. The thought of the letter piqued his interest, but it really wasn't any of his business what it said inside. It wasn't addressed to him. It was addressed to the woman the sender loved and adored and as such probably contained thoughts and feelings he wasn't privy to.
Finally Snow took the envelope and tucked it away in a file folder that sat on his big lap.
With the missive delivered, Zack once again turned to leave. As Snow watched him leave, it felt as though he was watching her leave. Not physically of course, but within that man resided memories of Lightning that would be lost when the dark-haired man left the office. He thought that maybe if he could just talk about Lightning with someone else who knew her that maybe he'd be able to feel less empty.
He clenched his fist, but his voice was strained and weak. "Zack."
"Hmm?" With a hand on the door knob, he looked back as Snow spoke his name.
He didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought this through before he'd spoke.
Typical.
All he knew is that he didn't want to let Zack leave before he'd gotten a chance to speak her name a few times with someone who shared even a bit of his sorrow.
With an understanding smile, Zack took over. "Wanna go grab something to eat?"
Snow nodded mutely, blinking back fresh tears as he looked down at the crystal flower on his chest before thankfully busying himself with the folder on his lap.
Standing, he followed his comrade in mourning out of the office and into the cool marble hallway.
Maybe Zack wanted to talk about her as well. It sounded that they had meant something to one another and Snow took comfort that even though he wasn't the one who provided it, she had found some measure of happiness before this storm blew in.
The sweetest, most fleeting days and nights of his life lead into an unending twilight without her.
And in that dark verdict; his sentence of life without pardon, he wondered if he would ever give in to the misery in his mind; the sombre tunnel of limbo he would have to tread somewhere between life and death while his decision fell at the whim of how many times he recalled her memory.
Never could he see beyond a day; but somehow he was always comfortable hoping that one day soon might be his last.
Although, he was sure that the fates would see to it that he lived a long and inconsolable life.
In spite of that belief, Snow would wait patiently until he was relieved of his fleshy prison and was free to search for her again.
He would find her no matter how many times she was stolen from him.
He would always be hers.
P.S. - Because some people don't/won't check my profile page for regular updates, I'll let everyone know now that there *will* be an Epilogue (which technically isn't a *chapter* per se...) Heh.