Look, another one! Two chapters in a day, don't you feel honored? :P
True, none of them are very long…but at least that means I can get them up faster, right?
I have about four other ideas after this. Hopefully more inspiration will come to me soon though.
Enjoy~
How Ian Rider Really Died.
The car cruised along the empty rural road. Ian Rider allowed himself to relax just a little. He couldn't believe he'd managed to get himself caught. It had been very unprofessional of him. But he had also managed to get away, which was the important thing. Just as he thought this he was safe, Ian caught sight of a helicopter in his rearview mirror. There was a pause. "Oh bugger."
There was nothing he could do to get away, the helicopter was fast approaching and his car couldn't outrun it on these twisting little lanes.
So all he could do was curse for the few seconds it took for the helicopter to draw level with him. He had been able to see that there where no weapons mounted on the helicopter, but that hadn't stopped him fearing for his life. As the side door slide open he said his final goodbyes. He glimpsed something rush past his car window, and did a double take as a face appeared. It was a very, very scary face.
Yassen hadn't had time to get changed before coming to kill Ian Rider. His day job was a professional Tranny, meaning that he was wearing a blond wig that quickly blew away since he was upside down…and lots of makeup.
Ian Rider screamed like a girl at the horrendous sight, and momentarily loosing control of the steering wheel, he crashed sideways, straight into Yassen. Unfortunately, the danger of the car swerving into him while he hung upside down from a helicopter going 70mph hadn't occurred to him. The dress wearing assassin shrieked as he crashed towards the ground. The last Ian saw of him was a pink flowery dress, a pair of hairy legs and some very nice high heels, before he disappeared from view. Forever.
Unfortunately Ian hadn't been paying much attention to the road while all this was going on, and before he realized it, his car slammed into a cow. This sent it flying in the air, where it crashed into the helicopter, sending it spinning to the ground. Ian turned back to the road with a sigh of relief before he heard: "mmmmmMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
The sound got closer and closer, before finally the cow smashed down to earth on Ian's car.
And that's how Ian Rider really died. What a way to go, crushed by a flying cow…
And the moral of this story? Always keep your eyes on the road children, even if there's a mad Russian transvestite assassin about to shoot you.
(Just incase your wondering, the Cow lived but had many broken bones. The farmer forwarded the vet bill to MI6. They were not happy.)
This is another one that I drew up long, long ago. Well actually, I never got as far as the cow bit. And in my first version Yassen only had high heels on (don't ask). His jacket flapped over his head and he accidentally shot himself. But this works too, right?