A/N: All of these stories kind of contain spoilers for the episode they're named after. Some are more important than others. For example, in this episode it starts with House ending up in the wrong apartment because he got so drunk. The bed he fell asleep in happened to belong to a child, who fortunately still slept in mom's bed. That's what his 4-year old thing means when you get there, not anything sexual.

The Choice

It's okay.

This is what he wants. He wants her. He loves her. She makes him happy. I couldn't make him happy. Cuddy loved me. Not as much as him, but she loved me. But she knew that I couldn't make her happy. So she chose Lucas. And now Wilson's choosing Sam.

Maybe she'll hurt him and he'll come back to me, but maybe not. Maybe they actually learned something.

It doesn't matter. He's happy now. That's good for him. That's what matters.

He's being selfish. He knows I'm still not "recovered" from all the shit that happened to me. But he's tired of babysitting me. He shouldn't have to. It's not his job. Nobody's paying him to. He'll pay other people to babysit me, but he doesn't want to do it himself anymore. It's because of her. He's seen that he can be happy, he can have a life outside me, and that's good for him.

Maybe he shouldn't have come back. He wasn't happy when he went away, but that wasn't because of me. It was because Amber had just died. Of course he's not gonna be happy. He loved her. But eventually he would have gotten over her, he would have moved on and found someone else, and he would have been happy. He doesn't need me in his life.

My life would suck without him. But I guess I could deal with it.

I've finally found a replacement for Vicodin. And it's not ibuprofen.

I hate her.

She makes him forget about me. That makes him happy, so fine, but what about me? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I won't outlast her.

Maybe I was wrong about him loving me.

He has to love me. He has to. But maybe he loves her more.

She was here first.

That's what makes her different. She's the only thing in his life that was here before me. She has the first claim over him. And with her, he can remember happier times, before he met me.

It's not true, what I said. About finding a replacement for Vicodin. I didn't just discover it. I've known it was there all along. I'd just kind of hoped I wouldn't need it. And I didn't. I was doing fine. Until...

I can't blame him. This isn't his fault. I don't own him. He's allowed to do whatever he wants, be with whoever he wants, fall in love with whoever he wants. He does not belong to me no matter how much I want him to. He is his own person and he can make his own choices. He can choose to have a life outside of me. He can choose not to babysit me. It's not his responsibility to make sure I don't go from narcotics addict to alcoholic. I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm making my own choice. This is not his fault.

That's not what he'll think. When he finds out, he'll blame himself. And then he'll get angry with me because he'll know that it's not really his fault and he shouldn't blame himself but he will anyway.

He's changed. He doesn't want needy anymore. Sam's not needy. My little spiel didn't even come close to intimidating her. She's an independent woman, and he's attracted to that. I'm needy. I've always been needy, but now I'm even more needy because I don't have Vicodin anymore and I just got out of a mental hospital. And he doesn't want that.

I'm his fallback. When he doesn't have anyone else, he goes to me. And we're happy. But when he can have someone else, he'll pick her first. It makes sense now. He only bought the condo because he wasn't with anyone else at the time so until another one came along he'd move in with me. And now that there is someone else I go back to the back burner.

It's not that he loves me. He's just afraid to be alone, and he knows I'm never gonna leave him because I'm in love with him, so whenever he's feeling alone he can just come to me. And whenever he finds someone better to keep him from being alone, he can leave again, and it's safe because when that fails I'll still be here waiting for him.

Am I just doing it for attention? They're gonna find out, and they're gonna be frustrated with me, and they're gonna be right. I know I'm just digging myself into a hole.

It really helps, though. It numbs the pain. It's not as good as Vicodin, but it's better than stupid ibuprofen. So I occasionally end up in the bed of a four-year-old, what does it matter? It helps me. It helps me not care that my leg hurts and that my best friend doesn't really love me.

I don't think he was jealous. I really wanted him to be. Maybe if he thought I'd had a good time with other people he'd remember that he wants some House time too. I don't think he did. He just wants Sam time.

Moving him with him was a bad idea. He's sick of me. He wants to get rid of me. He's spent too much time with me, gotten used to me, and forgotten what life was like without me. But now that he's remembered what life can be like with some hot chick to come home to instead of a whiney drug addicted cripple, he wants out.

Well who am I to tell him no? Fine, go bang the whore, she's a better lay than I'd be anyway. Go bribe people to get me out of your hair. At least I get free drinks out of it. Go ahead and regret moving in with me because I'm infringing upon your alone time with your rediscovered first love. Do it. What do I care anyway?

A/N: This is getting so depressing. And I saw the promo for next week and it scares me. And the season finale episode is called "Help Me" so that scares me. Why must they torture the people I love!? If the series ends and they don't end up happily lying in each other's arms I'm gonna be freaking pissed. Okay, done rant. I know you're reading this, you silent people. Please review.