Hey guys. This is another Captain Shade chapter. I finally got the storyline for this thing figured out, so the plot should get moving now. Onto the chapter, then. No need for a disclaimer here, as I actually own these characters. … and this is kind of filler, but it is important filler.
Chapter 23: Road Trip
How many fucking keyblade wielding douche bags named Sora can this multiverse have! The original one was bad enough. I mean, the kid took so many of us with him when he finally kicked the bucket that we actually have a memorial dedicated to those he killed. All three million of them, not including the ones present on the Bismarck when he blew that thing to shreds. Including those unlucky bastards, that's a total of five million Heartless! Dude was like some sort of ninja berserker. I mean really. He would charge into a mass of us like some sort of berserk idiot, we'd all attack him, and then we would die. … bastard.
Well, at least this Sora will soon be too dead to pose much of a threat. I am going to maim his so severely that even if he does come back as a zombie, he won't be a danger to us. And as for his Nobody, well we will have his Heartless on our side. What could go wrong?
… Probably shouldn't say that. Don't want to jinx this of all things. We cannot mess this up, because if we do, we are all screwed. Failed assassination attempts tend to make both the top brass and the would be target very angry. When they get very angry, they tend to attack the source of their anger, namely the would be assassins. Call me a coward, but bodily harm is one thing I kind of wish to avoid.
Hopefully, our plan to assassinate Sora will be so good as to prevent that kind of shit from happening. Though knowing our military commanders, I am not betting on that happening. The last attempt at assassination we tried inadvertently resulted in the creation of the Jonas Brothers. We are sorry, youth of America, for accidentally exposing you to that utter crap that they call music. I mean, all we tried to do was kill Barney, yet somehow we ended up turning Disney into the most evil corporation of all time when it comes to pop stars. Technically, Miley Cyrus and all of her cohorts are our fault as well. Again, we are sorry. We thought that by creating those horrible pop stars, the children of this world will riot against all the horrible pop culture icons and kill them. … Unfortunately, we just made some of them into mindless idiots just in time for them to become Twilight fans. … Again, sorry guys.
However, instead of telling us their plan, they just stuffed us into a shuttle craft and told us to go to the Destiny Islands, where we will receive further orders on the assassination. … Now that just reeks of military brand stupidity. So here we are, ill prepared and crammed into this very small shuttle, on our way to assassinate a person who might be the most dangerous threat to our kind in years. … I really do hate my life at times. Actually, screw at times. It seems as if I am hating my life every five minutes or so anymore. So basically I just hate my life.
About ten minutes have passed since we left the hangar of the ship in this rather cramped shuttle craft. We have a 72 hour trip ahead of us… god damn it. This was going to be boring as hell, like that time during training I had to watch paint dry on a star fighter in order to insure that the design came out exactly the way it was supposed to. I sat there for six hours, watching and watching until I almost went madder than the Mad Hatter. Which is kind of saying something. As I was about to cut off my left hand for entertainment, the pilot of the star fighter came back and started laughing his ass off at the fact that I had fallen for the joke. A few seconds later, I was laughing my ass off at his headless body. Cruel, but I was pissed as hell. You try sitting somewhere for six hours watching frickin paint dry! You'll want to kill somebody too!
"… do you guys think that we could ever become human again?" asked, of all Heartless, Vestara, interrupting me from my reverie. We all turn and stare at her in surprise. She and I were squeezed into the first row of seats in the shuttle; Domivoi was crammed into the row behind us, with his head kind of in between mine and Vestara's seats. Vergere, that lucky little Heartless, was alone in the cockpit.
"… where the hell did that come from?" I asked her, shocked and a little curious.
"I don't know. It's been bothering me for some time and I was just wondering what you guys think on the subject." She shrugged.
"well… there is a theory that if we were to be reunited with our Nobodies, we could willingly fuse back together and become humans again. Another theory is that we can be returned to a human form , though still have a Nobody, with the love of a Princess of Heart, one who's heart is completely in balance between light and darkness. True love may also have that effect. The only time that this has actually happened is with Kairi and Sora, and that love happened to be platonic, so for now those last two are only theories." said Vergere in a voice that a lecturer at a college would kill for. All of our heads turned to stare at her now.
"What? I'm a philosopher. I need to keep tabs on these things or else what good would I be?" she said/asked in a tone that any annoyed academic knows how to use with ease to frighten the crap out of everybody nearby.
"… I think Vergere's theories are way more correct than mine, but I'll still add in my two cents. First, you can attack a humans mind, destroy it, and take over the body. Second, there is plastic surgery that you can have that makes you look human. Or third, if you smoke enough weed and use enough LSD, you might enter a fantasy world where you are human. Who knows?" I said, shrugging. My ideas weren't in the same level or line as Vergere's, but whatever. For all we know, we may both be right or be totally wrong. Who knows.
"… So we could either find true love, take over someone else's body, or get high… " said Vergere in a contemplative voice.
"Or… there is always magic. Apparently, the pure, raw magic of Kingdom Hearts is said to have a transformative effect on whomever it touches. For all we know it could turn a Heartless back into a human. Or… it could turn us into toads. Ive also heard a rumor that when a whole crap load of potent magic is unleashed in a small, confined area, the magic begins to take on a mind of its own and is prone to do random things like grant wishes or kill people or cause them to turn inside out. So that could also turn you back into a human." Interrupted Domovoi.
"… yah, I don't think that is such a good idea. I don't want to be turned inside out by wild magic. No thank you sir." Said Vestara, shaking her head.
"Why do you ask?" I asked her; still curious as to why she would suddenly bring this topic up.
"Well, we all know Sora's history, how we was transformed back into a human. So why can't we be? What is so special about him anyhow?" she said, pained curiosity present in her voice.
"… you have a point. What is so special about Sora?" pondered Domovoi as he attempted to scratch his head. Unfortunately for him, his arm was too stuck for him to be able to do that.
"I'm really not sure. Maybe we can find out as we are killing him?" I said hopefully. I'm not sure what I was hopeful for, the killing of Sora or finding out why he is so damn special.
"So there is a chance that we will find out in seventy one and a half hours. Good. That would be one less mystery in the universe for us to answer." Said Vergere.
"SEVENTY ONE AND A HALF HOURS!" Vestara, Domovoi and I shouted at Vergere.
"We were only talking for twenty minutes!" Vestara exclaimed, pissed and despairful for the future.
"Actually… fifteen. I rounded up. So we have a very long trip ahead of us guys." Said Vergere in a weary voice.
"… Vestara, did you bring your dvd player?" I asked in a hopeful voice.
"…no. I should have, but I didn't. Sorry guys." she said in a regretful voice.
"Crap… so we are screwed. … Anybody bring any cards?" I asked.
"Nope." They all said, shrugging.
"… so, now what?" I asked, bored as hell already.
"… Well, I know some riddles. Shall I test you with them?" offered Vergere.
"Sure, why not. We have nothing better to do." I said, and the others nodded in agreement.
And the stars streaked by as we slowly made our way to the point in space where we were to jump into the world of Destiny Islands while listening to some of Vegrere's convoluted riddles that could confuse the crap out of anybody. … This is going to be a long ass trip. … The things I do because I'll be killed for treason if I do not do them. … damn it.
Well, that's it for this chapter. Next one will be a bit longer and be about Riku and Xion. It should be up in about three days. I'll see you guys then. Till that moment in time, adios.