Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of it's associated characters or fictional locations.

Once upon a time there was a boy named Light.

Nobody knew why his parent had called him that, maybe they were depressed and wanted something to brighten up their day.

Anyhow one day Light was cleaning his teeth when he caught sight of his reflection. Before now Light had always been a modest boy, well aware of both his failings and achievements so he wouldn't get a giant ego. Today however was different.

Today was the day that he realised just how pretty he was. No, not just pretty, but beautiful. When he looked in the mirror he saw the hight of humanity, the Übermensch, the messiah. The person who was so pretty that he could not possibly be wrong.

Light, having come to this epiphany, and swelled his ego by a good dozen times, walked down the stairs and saw that the Tv was on.

Now the television was set to the news channel because nobody in the house ever watched anything else, which might have been why they were so depressed.

Since the Tv was on Light decided to watch it, shortly afterwards a story came on by which a criminal had been acquitted of all charges.

This made Light sad, because his father was someone who caught criminals and that meant all criminals must be bad people because his father was a good person and good people don't catch bad people. It was because of bad people that Light's father was never home, Light thought all bad people should die so that good people wouldn't have to catch them all the time.

But then Light would think that killing was bad so they shouldn't die, so they had to be caught instead so good people would just have to put up with it. But not today because Light had realized just how pretty he was so nothing he thought could possibly be wrong, killing bad people had to be all right then.

And thus with the aid of a mirror and a giant ego Light set down on the path of mass homicide and early death. So the lesson here is not to look in the mirror too long or else you will turn into a mass murderer like Light, unless you are ugly in which case you can look as much as you like.

Author's Note:

And that's the end of life lessons! Sorry for taking so long to finish this story, but seeing as it's a crack fic it wasn't exactly on my priority list, and I've been very busy lately. I was considering going through the entire cast but I decided that going through the entire cast would get boring, or at least less entertaining as we move on to less known and interesting characters. And ending on Light, the biggest nut case in all of Death Note seems to be appropriate. Remember to review!

-MRegent.2