A/N: A huge thank you to WitchyWeasel, who informed me that Sir Leon did indeed survive into season 3. (Oh, to be in the UK right now!) Exit Sir Robert, enter Sir Leon for a tiny cameo appearance in this chapter. (Maybe I'll keep Sir Robert around for another story I'm working on, though.)
BBC, not me
Chapter Six
Dear Gaius,
I have been in Ealdor for ten months now, and although I think of Camelot often, I no longer wake up every morning feeling like I am in the wrong place. It took all this time, but I have finally accepted that I belong here after all. The long winter helped with that, I suppose. It was a difficult one. Your herb book was literally a lifesaver for several of the villagers here. We did lose a few, though, to illness and to freezing temperatures. Winter in Ealdor is rather unforgiving. Getting through it together tends to bond a community tightly in a way I didn't understand or appreciate when I was a boy.
But now spring is coming, and there is new hope arriving with the warmth and sunshine, and the new growth that nature will provide us. I take the children for rides on Whisper. We listen to the birds. And the world seems new and exciting again. I miss spring in Camelot, but I know I will enjoy spring in Ealdor. I am content with what I have here – my mother, who loves me for who I am, and my neighbors, who are now true friends. And that is quite a lot, I think.
Give my love to my friends in Camelot for me. And don't forget to include yourself, Gaius.
Love, Merlin.
The weather was warm, and the ground had thawed enough that the villagers could begin to work the soil in preparation for this year's planting. Merlin was helping, as was everyone in the village, young and old, with the ability to wield the necessary tools. Even Whisper, though usually a riding horse, had been pressed into service. But as Merlin worked, he began to feel uneasy. He couldn't quite define the feeling, so he kept working, but something was wrong; he could feel it. As the day went on, he became more and more unsettled. The sun would be going down soon, and the day's work would end, so Merlin decided to stop a bit early and go home. Halfway there, he felt it: a sharp stabbing pain in his head. He immediately recognized it as the same kind of headache he'd had the night of his dream; despite the overwhelming pain, he began to run. Arthur's in trouble! The headache was quickly becoming intolerable, but he made it to his bed and crawled under the covers. He was asleep in seconds.
He was standing in the Great Hall of the castle in Camelot, about halfway back. There was a banquet going on. Merlin looked down at himself – he seemed to be appropriately dressed. He looked at the person next to him. "Gaius!" he whispered in delight.
"Merlin?" replied his mentor in shock. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. "Are you out of your mind?"
"I think," whispered Merlin, "I'm having another dream. I just went to bed with an excruciating headache, and now I'm here. Do you hear a buzzing noise?"
"No," replied Gaius, "but if you're here, Arthur might be in danger. Should I try to warn him?"
Merlin was too busy with the buzzing to answer. It was getting louder by the second. Uther was standing now, raising his goblet for a toast, but Merlin couldn't even hear him. He scanned the crowd, trying to find the source of the noise. There! Across the hall, a man in blue was reaching into his left sleeve. At the front of the hall, Prince Arthur rose to say something, and at the same moment the man in blue whipped a dagger from his sleeve and threw it straight at Arthur's heart. Merlin's eyes flashed gold as he stopped the dagger in flight, not six inches from its intended target. It hovered in midair for several seconds, then dropped harmlessly to the banquet table.
There was a stunned silence. Then – pandemonium!
"Sorcery!" shouted Uther. "Bar the doors! No one gets out!"
"Did anyone see who threw the dagger," called out Arthur, over the babble of voices.
Merlin stared at the man in blue and pulled. The man staggered and fell into the middle of the hall. "That's him," whispered Merlin to Gaius. "The dagger was in his left sleeve."
"You're sure?" asked Gaius.
"I saw him do it," confirmed Merlin.
Gaius stepped forward, pointing to the man in blue. "That's him, Sire. I saw him throw the dagger. He had it hidden in his sleeve."
Guards immediately took the man into custody. Uther was still demanding to know who and where the sorcerer was. Arthur, whose eyes had been searching the crowd, looked in the direction where Gaius had come from, and suddenly locked eyes with Merlin.
Merlin smiled at Arthur and bowed his head slightly. The colors were dimming, and sounds were muted. The Great Hall was becoming transparent. "I saw the sorcerer, Father," he heard Arthur say, as if from a great distance, "but he's already gone. He just…disappeared."
And Merlin woke up in his bed in Ealdor, heart pounding, but all trace of his headache gone.
"We have to find the sorcerer!" Uther repeated for the umpteenth time. The banquet had ended quickly after the assassination attempt on the Crown Prince, and Arthur and Uther were arguing in the King's chambers.
"Father," said Arthur with as much patience as he could still manage, "we have the assassin in the cells. Doesn't it make sense to find out who he is, and why he tried to kill me? He may not have been working alone, someone may have hired him; we need to find out if I am still in danger and if there is a threat to anyone else!"
"There was a sorcerer in the Great Hall, using magic right under our noses. I will not allow that to go unpunished!" roared the king. "He must be found and put to death for his crime."
"Father, please listen," begged Arthur. "Even if we knew who the sorcerer was, we couldn't catch him. He made himself disappear from the banquet! We wouldn't be able to hold him."
"I cannot make any exceptions. The law is the law," Uther said stubbornly. "If we cannot catch this particular sorcerer, we'll round up all those we suspect of having ties to sorcerers and druids and arrest them. We will set an example. Magic will never be tolerated in any form in Camelot."
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. His father was missing the point completely, and he wasn't thinking at all clearly. Arthur tried to speak in a calm and reasonable manner. "Yes, the sorcerer used magic tonight," he said quietly, "and that magic saved my life. If he had not been there in the Great Hall, I would now be dead."
"You don't know that," argued Uther angrily. "The dagger might have missed a vital area. Gaius may have been able to save you. You can't know what would have happened."
Arthur stared at his father in disbelief. "Do you hear yourself?" he demanded. "You would rather that dagger have hit me than have had the sorcerer there to save me?"
"I will not allow sorcery of any kind in my kingdom," Uther repeated stubbornly.
Arthur felt a rage fill him as never before. He had to take several breaths before he could speak, and then his words were deceptively quiet. "I know how much you hate magic," he said. "Since I was a young boy, I listened to what you taught me about the evils of sorcery, and I followed your example, because you are my father, and I respected and trusted you. I have obeyed your orders where magic is concerned, even when I didn't agree with them, and when we recently had violent disagreements on the subject, I came to you and humbled myself, begging your forgiveness in front of everyone. I have followed your laws faithfully ever since, without exception, because you are my king, and your word is law. I know that I have often disappointed you, that I have not always been the son you might have wished for. But after you killed the Black Knight, you told me I meant more to you than anything else in this world. I began to think we might be able to have a real father and son relationship like I've always wished for. I see now that I was wrong."
"Arthur, that's not what I meant," Uther began.
Arthur glared at his father, his king. "No, I believe it is exactly what you meant. Your hatred of magic is stronger than anything. It poisons everything good in your life, and leaves room for nothing else. No matter how much you love me, you will always hate magic more. I have finally accepted that this is a fight I cannot win. So as of right now, I no longer have a father. And you no longer have a son." Arthur turned on his heel and walked out of the room, ignoring Uther's demands for him to stop, to come back, even his threats to call the guards. He considered going to his chambers, but there were a few things he had to do first, especially if the king planned to make good on his threat to arrest him. His first stop had to be the dungeon.
Sir Leon was guarding the prisoner, along with the usual guards. Arthur motioned him aside, where they could speak undisturbed. It turned out that the assassin had been only too willing to talk, and that he had been seeking revenge for his daughter Rebecca's death at Uther and Arthur's hands several months ago. She had been innocent of sorcery, he claimed, and everyone knew it. He had been planning his revenge for a long time. Arthur sighed. It was a familiar story. He remembered Rebecca very well. Arthur had known she was completely innocent; he had fought for her, but in the end there had been nothing he could do. He spared a look of pity for the man in the cell, shook off his memories for now, and bid good evening to Sir Leon.
Arthur had one more stop he had to make, one more confrontation, and this was probably going to be another difficult one. He knocked on Gaius' door, waited for permission to enter, and walked in looking calmer than he felt.
"Prince Arthur," Gaius said. "How may I assist you?
Arthur stepped further into Gauis' chambers, closing the door behind him. "Where is he, Gaius?" he demanded.
"Where is who, Sire?" the physician asked innocently.
Arthur drew his sword and pointed it the elderly man's heart. "You know exactly who I mean. Merlin. Where is he?"
"Merlin is in Ealdor, Your Highness," Gaius said easily, as if there were no blade threatening his very life and no angry prince holding said blade even closer to his chest.
"He was at the banquet this evening. You and I both saw him. Now where is he? I warn you, I will not ask again!" Arthur's face showed grim determination.
Gaius nodded. "Yes, he was at the banquet. Now he is back in Ealdor. I can explain, if you would kindly put your sword away. Unless you plan to use it, that is." And he stared into Arthur's eyes until the younger man finally backed down and sheathed his sword.
"It's impossible for Merlin to have been at the banquet and be back in Ealdor already, you know," said Arthur irritably. "It takes days on foot…"
"Before you go any further, Arthur, I think there's something you should see. Sit down a moment." He walked over to a few stacks of books, removed a small, unassuming volume from the middle of a pile, and took out a sheaf of papers. Arthur, who had resumed pacing, stopped and stared.
"Are those letters?" he asked. "From Merlin?" Gaius nodded affirmatively to both questions.
Arthur sat down with an unprincely thud. "May I read them?"
"I would rather you not," said Gaius hesitantly, "as they are personal. I will tell you he is doing well. However, there is one letter that I believe you must read." Having found the page in question, he handed it to Arthur.
Arthur read about Merlin's dream. Twice. Then he put down the letter and put his face in his hands for a moment. "I thought it was an hallucination," he said, as if to himself. "I had convinced myself that I had been wrong about the extent of the damage, and that while I waited for the other knights to return, I imagined Merlin coming to help me, like he used to." He looked at Gaius. "It was real?"
"Yes, Sire. And it was real tonight." The elderly physician sat down across from his prince. "I was at the banquet, and suddenly noticed Merlin beside me. He told me he had just gone to bed with a headache, and found himself here. He said he was hearing a loud buzzing noise. When he found the source of the noise, he saw the assassin, just in time to stop the dagger from reaching you. He showed me who the assassin was, and by the time I looked over to him again, he was just…gone."
"I saw him," said Arthur. "He smiled at me and just faded away, like mist. First he was real, solid, and then I could see through him, and then he wasn't there any more. How did he do that?"
"I don't know," answered Gaius kindly. "You and Merlin share a very deep bond. Perhaps distance does not matter, and he can somehow sense when you need him through that bond. His magic is very powerful, especially where you are concerned."
"That 'two sides of the same coin' thing he told me about?" Arthur muttered.
"Exactly," answered Gaius. "Part of him must be with you, even when he is not. It's the only explanation I can think of. There is a lot about Merlin's magic that I do not understand."
"But doesn't that… scare you?" asked Arthur, hesitantly. After all, princes weren't supposed to admit to feeling fear.
"You needn't be afraid of Merlin, Arthur," said Gauis gently. "You know he would never hurt you."
"But, the things he can do," said Arthur. "Don't you find them frightening?"
"No more than I find the things you can do with a sword frightening," said Gaius with a smile. "Unless I am your enemy, that is." Arthur looked unconvinced. Gaius sighed. "I know this is hard for you. Merlin has magic. But he hasn't changed. He is the same person you always knew, the same person you trusted with your life, the person I daresay you called friend. You know more about him now. But he is no different than he always was. Ready to be there for you at a moment's notice."
"Ready to serve me until the day he dies," said Arthur quietly, remembering. Gaius nodded. "He keeps saving my life, Gaius. I know his magic is good. And the hell of it is, I'll never be able to convince…" he trailed off.
"Your father, Sire?" asked Gaius.
Arthur held his head in his hands. "I disclaimed him tonight, Gaius. I told him he was no longer my father. He hates magic more than he can ever love me, and I'm tired of fighting for his affection. His hatred of magic poisons everything else in his life. So I disclaimed him. And I'm feeling so lost right now, I don't know what to do."
Gaius tried to hide his shock from the young prince, and reached across to take one of his hands in both his own. "Arthur," he said quietly, "I know for a fact that your father loves you more than anything on this earth."
"But not more than he hates magic," Arthur said miserably. "You should have heard him, Gaius, going on about 'the sorcerer at the banquet.' Never mind that his magic saved my life. He said he would rather the dagger had hit me than the sorcerer been in the Great Hall."
"I cannot believe Uther actually meant that," protested Gaius.
"He meant it," stated Arthur tonelessly.
There was a short knock on the door, and King Uther came striding in. "Gaius, I need to speak with you," he began, but stopped when he saw Arthur sitting there. "Perhaps I will come back later," the king said frostily.
"No, no, come right in, Your Majesty," said Gaius cheerfully, getting up and ushering the king to the seat he had vacated. Arthur stood to leave, but Gaius stopped him with a firm "Sit. Now!"
The elderly physician shook his head at the two men sitting across from (and trying to ignore) each other. "You are two of the most stubborn people I know, and you both have severe tempers. Indeed, Uther, yours is legendary. You need to talk to each other, without shouting, I might add, and more importantly, you both need to listen to each other. Now I am going to go on my rounds, despite the late hour, and you two are going to sit here and talk. And neither one of you," he added severely, "is leaving this room until you are father and son again. Do I make myself clear?" He did not expect, nor did he receive, an answer. "If you want some tea, the pot is over there." And he gathered his things and swept out of the room.
xxxxx
A/N: I'm not sure if "disclaimed" is the proper word for Arthur rejecting Uther. There's probably an official term somewhere. But it was the best one I could find.
concrit welcome