DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. In this chapter, I don't own Dragon's Den or people on it as mentioned. XD
A/N: Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D
SUMMARY: Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard?
TITLE: The Boarding School
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The Boarding School
Chapter 15- Dragon's Den
"What's this?" Vince asked in pure amazement as he stumbled through the door.
"It's my magic potion lab where I create my best and most powerful potions." Howard frowned as he circled the room, cautiously looking at each detail of the room.
"Naboo? Did you say potion lab?" His voice was the least bit serious and had playful, humoured tones intertwined within each word.
"Yeah, custom built." Howard pointed an accusatory finger at a 'Texaco' sign that had a paper sign glued over it reading 'Naboo's Secret Lab'. "Okay, I renovated a 'Texaco' garage."
"You do realise that means this is an unsafe property. Petrol is still flowing beneath us." Naboo shook his head.
"Nah, don't you worry your jazzy socks off, it's been abandoned for at least five years." Howard smiled and nodded. "I think."
"You think?" Naboo innocently nodded and picked up a bottle with a faded, unreadable label on the side. "Okay that's good enough so what's that?"
"The tears of Robert Smith." Vince smiled and picked up a bottle. "Oh yeah, that's a new hairspray I've been inventing called Goth Juice, made by this stuff. It's got such a powerful hold that you have to soak your hair for six hours to get it out completely… a brush is weak in comparison it just crumbles… yes you heard it right… crumbles.
"No way! Well this is good enough to sell like on one of those shows like… umm… Dragon's Den! That was an amazing show and I think we should go on it. I could do your presentation and Howard could do your diagrams and what not… I swoon the judges with my charm and charisma. Naboo nodded… his role model was Alan Sugar. "Not only that but I have an idea to embarrass that dick so much he'll not know what's hit him." Vince smiled menacingly and pulled up a pen and an A3 sketch pad.
The Next Day…
"Now go easy on me guys but here we go. Flat hair? Weak hairspray?" Howard was doing all sorts of actions and faces from Sad Pope to Uncontrollable Nod. "Fear no more hairspray users because we have the solution! Goth Juice! Goth Juice is a mix of Robert Smith's tears and a lovely blend of lavender extract and periwinkle extract to make your hair smell divine." Vince smiled cheekily.
"Won't it make my hair sticky with the extract?" Howard asked and made a very over-dramatic hand gesture.
"Nope! It's a smooth blend assuring complete sleekness and softness to your hair. Be the envy of all Goths with Goth Juice." Vince held up the can and winked, smiling once more.
"Good!" Naboo cheerfully chuckled and held up a piece of paper. "I have an interview with the BBC tomorrow, cleared it with Fossil… this may be the thing that covers up the last headline in the Guardian."
"Yeah what was that?" Naboo held up the paper in answer to Vince's question. "Ah yeah… Fossil's a Biatch! Priest menaced by erotic behaviour of head teacher Bob Fossil during Midnight Mass. Gripping strap line I can tell you that. Quite an action packed mass that was first the priest then the police showed up then Fossil faced court… then Fossil lost court." Vince sighed and shook his head in disgrace.
"I know. Remember that other one? 34 year old man frightens dog with spatula? That was terrible… everyone was disgusted by him scaring that dog like that. Poor Ruffles." Howard said and sighed, shaking his head with Naboo.
"Anyway, this product can put us back on the running table for young geniuses." Vince cheerily said and sat on the table.
"Yeah we will. Look Vince, I don't mean to bring you down but you're sat on a very harmful chemical that's probably about you burn into your skin so…" Naboo calmly sighed as Vince jumped up in horror.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God no way! You are kidding me aren't you? He's just kidding! It's a joke and its water with food colouring in that's all." Naboo nodded and smirked.
"Yeah, that's just powerade." Vince hit Naboo with his scarf then wrapped it back around his neck. "Lucky you carry spare pants with you." Vince nodded and pulled some from his bag. "There's a bathroom over there." Vince headed in and got changed then emerged back and sat on a lab stool.
"I may not be organised but in the fashion department, that's where I shine." Vince chuckled as Howard ruffled his hair.
"So what are we going to do?" Vince asked and Naboo smiled whilst slipping on his lab coat over his shaman outfit.
"We are going to mix in chemicals with the hairspray and we're going to be friendly and ask him to be our assistant on Dragon's Den." Naboo smiled and poured bright purple liquid into the canister. "There we go! We now have a hairspray and purple hair dye in on… we are going to turn Lance's hair bright purple… in patches." Vince gasped in shock and shook his head.
"Naboo… it's a bit drastic isn't it? Can we not spare the embarrassment and just tell him off?" It was a very French Movie-esc scene with Vince dramatically behind Naboo, his eyes just showing over his head as he was sat down. "I mean you know… we want to embarrass him but that is, that is too dark I am sorry but…" Howard draped an arm around his neck loosely and friendly.
"Remember what he did to you Vince; remember what he put you through." Vince took Howard's hand which was in front of him and nodded.
"You're right, let's go kick some copy-cat asses!"
The Following Thursday
Vince Noir, Howard Moon and Naboo the Enigma walk up the stairs to stand in front of the dragons. Lance is already sat on the chair holding a pen in one hand and the other hand is nervously clenched in a fist position.
"Do you have boring hair, lank hair, lifeless hair even?" Vince said and pointed to Lance.
"We have the solution! Behold, Goth Juice!" Howard yelled and picked a chunk of hair, Vince spraying it and chuckling when it turned purple. "Adding volume and colour. This bit here." Howard muttered and pointed to a chunk of hair at the side.
"Oh got a bit on the skin there, sorry. Yes this does stain clothing, sorry Lance but I'll give you a pound towards a new one." Vince sighed, a drop of it falling onto Lance's T-Shirt. "We are looking for £900,000 and 50% between all three of us." Vince smiled.
"Any questions?" Naboo lisped and saw the shock and fury in the Dragon's faces. "Okay then bye! Run." The three boys sped out of the room; leaving Lance sat in the middle of the room.
"I am in love with this product! I am so angry we didn't discover it before! I'll give you what you ask, £900,000 and 50% is yours young man weather you win or not!" Sir Alan shook Lance's hand and smiled happily.
The Following Day…
"Can you believe it? Lance Dior, first 14 year old millionaire." Howard disgustedly sighed, his arm draped across Vince's shoulder as the younger man lay with his head on almost on his lap.
"I know but never mind. How would we have spent that much anyway?" Vince shrugged and looked up at the taller man.
"Umm Bookmarks, trumpets, electro CD's."
"Yeah… it is a bit of an obsolete thought innit?" Vince sighed and snuggled into Howard's chest.
"Ah well, never mind, we wouldn't be safe with that amount anyway." Howard smiled and squeezed Vince's shoulder.
"At least I'm not being expelled. Fossil quit to become a zoo keeper at that new zoo, the Zooniverse." Howard smiled and chuckled, at least that was one nut job gone, only about 12 more to go.
The End
Well thank you for all the reviews an all and I may make a sequel to how they meet again and them joining the Universe of Zooniverse so look out for that one soon. Cheers you cheeky bitches, love ya'll for reading!
Mrs O.G :)