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Allie took a deep breath and looked at the church. She'd sworn that she would never step inside a church ever again. With devoutly religious parents – well, parent now – she had gone to mass every Sunday growing up. But after she'd joined the police force and been raped undercover, she'd found it difficult to believe that there was a God up there that would let all these things happen.

The people walking around her showed no recognition. They didn't recognise her, she thought bitterly. Guess that's the price to be paid for staying away.

Her mother had wanted her to ride in the car with the extended family, and the family priest, but she'd balked. And so instead, she stood in the carpark in front of the church and tried to build up the confidence to enter the building. She didn't need to look to know that her husband and daughter were standing behind her, shy Mia riding on Nick's hip as they waited. Where before she could take comfort from their presence, there was a gaping hole in her heart today that they just couldn't fill.

She was still standing out the front of the church when the cars carrying her father's coffin and the family pulled up.

She saw her mother step out of the car, clad in black, assisted by her sister. Allie felt a twinge of guilt as she noticed the red-rimmed eyes, the hunched over form and the air of sadness all around. Her heart gave her orders to move to be with her mother, to go through this pain together. But her brain and body wouldn't respond, rooted to the spot.

In the end, it was a combination of two things that moved her to the stained glass doors and into the church: Nick's hand touching her back and her mother's look toward her. The former, she instantly moved away, scared that she would break down, and for the latter she instantly stepped forward in reaction to a look she'd been on the receiving end for years.

Entering the church behind her family, struggling to keep calm, silence fell. Walking down that seemingly endless aisle between the full pews, Allie felt as if every eye in the building was on her. Arriving at the front row, she wordlessly took a seat next to her mother, Nick beside her, Mia sitting sombrely in his lap. She stared stonily ahead, eyes on the coffin, refusing to acknowledge anyone.

She kept it together when the priest rose and began the ceremony. She kept it together when Nick placed his hand on her knee. She kept it together through the readings and the prayers. She kept it together when everyone lined up for communion and she remained seated. She kept it tightly together when her mother stood up at the pulpit, gathered herself together and spoke of her husband. She kept it together right up until the point when Desiree Kingston's voice shook. "The only regret Steve ever had was never meeting his grandchild."

And when her cousin sang her father's favourite song, the strains of You Are My Sunshine filling the church, she cried at last.

If one more person touched her, Allie was going to scream.

Rubbed raw with the emotions flooding through her, she stood in line next to her mother. Faces blurred before her: family, friends and workmates – some she'd known long ago, and others she had never met before – offering their condolences, their pleasure at seeing her once again and any assistance she might require. She'd refused to make her daughter suffer in the line with her and so Nick stood against the wall on the far side of the room, his hands resting on Mia's shoulders, their daughter standing back against his legs as she looked around at all the new people in the room. She knew that was one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about yet: Nick would make sure Mia was okay.

She wasn't though.

Feeling claustrophobic, and the line looking like it would never end, Allie struggled to breathe. Taking a step back, she turned to her mother's sister, her Aunt Sandrine. "Aunty Sandy," she said, her voice sounding weak to her ears. "I need to... to..."

"Go," ordered her aunt, completely understanding. "I'll look after your mother."

Slipping out of one of the large glass doors behind her, Allie took gulping breaths as she gripped the rail and looked unseeingly down to the prettily maintained shrubbery and garden before her. Water cascaded down a small waterfall nearby, no doubt meant to generate a sense of peace and calmness, but standing there she felt anything but.

Allie tried to put her thoughts into order, but the one thing that kept sticking out in her mind was her mother's words. "The only regret Steve had was never meeting his grandchild." In the large scheme of things – her father was dead for God's sake – her deliberately staying out of contact seemed petty. Feeling like she was finally growing up, Allie turned with a determined glint in her eyes when she heard the familiar tread behind her.

Nick saw that the toughness was back in his wife's eyes the minute he stepped outside, Mia running toward her mother, Allie swinging her up into her arms for a firm hug. Whilst natural given the circumstances, dealing with the melancholy and standoffish Allie the past few days had had him wishing her usual prickly self back. Looking at the form of the determined woman before him, Nick sensed she had something to tell him.

He didn't have to wait long.

"Dad's gone and there is nothing that I can do about," came the clear voice of Allie, not one tremble present. "But the least I can do is offer Mum the chance he never got." She sucked in a deep breath. Nick felt her gaze look past him and turned as their group expanded by one.

Desiree Kingston stepped out into the small courtyard and eyed where her daughter stood holding her granddaughter. There was silence for a moment before it was Allie who spoke. "Come stay with us for a while."

Next chapter:

Little Athletics.