Chapter 5 – Twisted Words

Paul made sure to move her hand over his heart where she could feel it beating against the palm of her hand. Paul's other hand pulled her chin up so he could look in her eyes, as he softly patted the back of her hand he held over his heart, "This isn't going anywhere that you're not. I don't know if I can be much clearer. I know what I feel for you and I barely met you 2 hours ago. I think I never met you I'd miss you. Everything in me just wants you to be a part of my life and I definitely want to be a part of your life. If you'll let me."

Antonia blinked and a couple of tears slid down her cheeks, his sweet words touched every part of her, physically, mentally and emotionally. Paul sighed heavily as he swiped his thumb under her beautiful blue eyes trying to catch her tears, "Don't cry beautiful please." Toni sniffled a couple of times, "Well stop saying such sweet words and I won't cry."

Paul looked deep in her eyes and knew if she didn't tell him soon she'd back out and wait for a different day to tell him. Paul cleared his throat, "Tell me. What has you so twisted around my words."

Antonia took a deep breath, "Seven months ago, I found out I have Multiple myeloma Or MM, it's also known as Kahler's disease it's a cancer of the white blood cells known as plasma cells. A type of B cell, plasma cells are a crucial part of the immune system responsible for the production of antibodies in humans and other vertebrates. They are produced in the bone marrow and are transported through the lymphatic system. Due to the fundamental nature of the system affected, multiple myeloma manifests systemic symptoms that make it difficult to diagnose."

Toni breathed out a little, "Myeloma is generally thought to be incurable, but remissions have happened. Mine has been in remission for 6 weeks, steroids and chemotherapy helped put it in remission. This is actually my 3rd round of it going into remission. The doctor's think if they can find me a bone marrow match and do a transplant that it would kick the myeloma into full remission and make it to where it doesn't come back. I was placed on a donor list in Seattle, which is why we moved closer."

Paul frowned, "You thought for some reason that was going to chase me away? Cancer is supposed to scare me away from you? Why would I ever let that happen?" Paul watched as Antonia stood up and she paced around the room a little, until Paul stood up and stopped her with his hands on her hips, "Talk to me...please."

She barely heard the whisper begging her to speak to him. Toni let out shaky breath, "Damn it Paul. I'm giving you an out. I'm literally handing you a way out. I don't want to be some pipe dream that you never get because of the cancer. I'm in remission now, but tomorrow, next week, next month, whenever I can slip right back out of remission without a moment's notice. I don't want to put you through that. Walk away now so you don't have to go through the pain my family has had to endure the last seven months. You don't deserve to feel that kind of pain...No one does. You deserve someone who can give you everything you've ever want. I don't know what I can give you."

Paul felt his chest constrict, she was trying to save him from being hurt. If he could only explain the imprint then she'd fully understand the pain he was already in. Paul moved closer to her as he gently cupped her face forcing her indigo eyes up too look into his, "You listen to me and listen good. There's a lot of things I don't deserve in life and I don't know what we can give each other. But I will give you everything I have in my life if I can keep a smile on your face and you're hand in mine. And as far as someone giving me everything I'd ever want. The Quileute God's brought you to me and suddenly you're the answer to my prayers. You ARE everything I've EVER wanted in my life. I could never want for anything ever again. As long as I have you. I don't need anything."

Antonia couldn't help but let the tears slide down her cheeks at a fast pace. Paul placed his hands on the back of her head and she could feel him untying the back of her bandana, Toni gasped as she grabbed his hands, "No don't please." Paul could see the sadness in her eyes, Paul shook his head, "Don't hide from me Antonia. Nothing that you're hiding under there could ever make you look less beautiful to me." Antonia just nodded for him to continue, when he pulled the bandana from her head, he could see the bald spots, but they truly didn't take away from her beauty.

When his big warm hand first touched the side of her head he watched as she physically flinched. Clearly she'd not let anyone this close and this was definitely the first time she'd let someone see her without the bandana. Paul stepped closer to her their chests were brushing against one another just from breathing casually. He noticed her eyes were turned down and to the right trying to avoid eye contact with him. He watched the huge tears as they continued to slid down her beautiful face. Paul leaned down and softly placed a feather light kiss on her head.

Paul slowly started walking around the raven haired beauty who was his imprint and softly placed kisses all over her head. Sometimes his lips would hit a bald spot and she'd physically jump. Paul's hands came up and brushed against the bare skin on her upper arms, and noticed his touch put her at ease. As he stood behind her he leaned down and softly brushed his lips across the side of her neck. Once he made a complete circle around her he careful tied her bandana back around her head the way she'd had it.

Paul leaned over as he looked in her beautiful eyes, "I want to kiss you. Do you give me permission?" Antonia chewed her bottom lip as she slowly nodded yes as a confirmation to Paul that she was giving him permission. Paul tilted her head up slightly as his lips came down and pushed against hers. Her hands slid up his arms and gripped his biceps gently, as she felt Paul's arms wind themselves around her waist as he pulled her tight against his body. His tongue swiped her bottom lips as she granted him access to go further and his tongue deviled deeper into the recesses of her mouth. They both groaned at the contact and the first taste of each other.

A faint howl in the distance broke the contact between the two. Paul placed another soft kiss on her lips, "I should get going...I was supposed to go to Emily and Sam's after the bonfire. But I wanted to come see you first." Antonia smiled as she nodded, "Okay." Paul smiled, "Can I come see you tomorrow?" Toni nodded. Paul kissed her lips one more time.

"I'll see you tomorrow Antonia."

"Yea...tomorrow."

Antonia watched as Paul jogged upstairs and as soon as she heard his truck leave she fell back onto the couch and couldn't believe anything that had just happened.

She definitely couldn't wait until tomorrow.