Title: Love Accidentally - Chapter 19

Author: kreia03

Rating: M

Warnings: Some swear words.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I hate that fact. Seriously.

Summary: "She's hurting but she knew she wasn't supposed to, because this was all just pretending, the relationship and everything."

A/N: The next chap. I really hope you like this one! ^^ Thanks for all the awesome comments!

Walking down the path to her house, albeit JJ being by her side, Emily had never felt so alone her entire life. Her mind was distant, far distant, her thoughts swirling into a huge daze yet her feet kept going mindlessly. She knew JJ was babbling about something but his words barely registered to her ears, like she only kept hearing the sounds but never really understood.

"Emily." She knew she was being called but she held her gaze, still looking at the path ahead of her. She felt JJ grabbing her by the wrist, pulling her into a complete stop. Only then did she look up, eyeing JJ with a questioning stare. JJ cocked his head to the side and mouthed. "We're here. You're actually going past your house."

She couldn't help but let out a sad chuckle, laughing at herself and the fucked up situation she's in. Half of her actually believed that she's lost her mind. She didn't know what to feel anymore. She's hurting but she knew she wasn't supposed to, because this was all just pretending, the relationship and everything.

Pretending.

The stinging word rang in her ears, its echoes reverberating inside, filling her already confused mind. She tipped her head up, the peaceful sky meeting her watery eyes. She saw three stars standing close together, two of them much closer to each other, which reminded her of Naomi and Effy, the third star reminding her of herself, close but not enough. Never going to be enough. She scoffed at the sight, the stars mocking the situation she'd tangled herself into. Even the fucking stars were telling her to stop before she could do something she'd regret in the end. But it was all ready too late. She had already fallen too deep, too deep that she probably won't be able to resurface unscathed.

"Emily, are you alright?"

She brought her gaze down, meeting JJ's eyes. She blew out a long, jagged breath and softly nodded her head. "I'm okay." She mumbled almost inaudibly. "Thanks for taking me home J."

"Do you want me to go inside with you?" He worriedly asked.

"No, I can manage." She replied, offering her best friend a tight smile. "Thanks again."

JJ nodded his head in understanding. "I'll go ahead then." He muttered. "Goodnight Emily."

"Goodnight." She barely whispered and watched JJ walk back to the bus stop, until he completely disappeared from her sight. She turned, stared at the dark and empty house, and shook her head. She can't do this, not now. She slowly backed away from the front gate and shuffled on her heels, trailing the path leading back to the main road. She didn't pass by the bus stop, not wanting JJ to see her pathetic attempt to escape everything even for a short moment. She never ceased walking, her arms instantaneously wrapping around her shoulders as the cold breeze of the night hit her skin. This night felt so much colder than the other nights, dead cold. Her footsteps echoed on the almost empty streets of Bristol, turning on every corner and curb she could see, walking aimlessly around the place, until she stumbled upon a playground and found herself sitting on one of the unoccupied swings. Emily buried her face wearily on her open palms, heaving deep and heavy sighs, the scenes constantly playing inside her already baffled mind.

"Emily made these for me. If you want some, go find somebody who'll bake for you."

The intertwining of their fingers, the exchange of tight squeezes.

"She's mine. And will always be."

The heated glares sinking beneath her skin.

Would she fight a battle she knew she'd end up losing?

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

"Emily. It's already late. What are you doing here?"

The red head uncovered her face and lifted her gaze, seeing the worried look evident on Freddie's face, surprising her entirely. "Freddie. Why are you here?" She called out.

"I live near here. I was passing by and then I saw you." He replied, placing his hands inside his pockets. "You don't look so good. Are you sick or something?"

She softly shook her head. "I'm fine Freddie."

He snorted. "If that's your definition of fine, I don't wanna see what you look like when you're sick for real." He chuckled.

A faint smile escaped Emily's lips.

"Mind if I join you?" He withdrew and motioned his hand, his forefinger pointing to the empty swing beside the red head.

Emily shook her head. "Not at all."

"You sure you're alright?" Freddie asked once more. "You can tell me anything, you know." He offered a friendly smile.

"No really, I'm fine." She assured. "But thanks."

Freddie shrugged his shoulders. "Where's Naomi? Why aren't you with her?"

She flinched, Freddie's question hitting home base.

"She's with Effy." Emily barely whispered, averting her gaze to hide her watery eyes.

Freddie paused for a moment, watching the red head as she looked away from him and focused on her fidgeting fingers instead. "It's about Naomi, isn't it?"

Emily's head snapped back to the man beside her. "What do you mean?"

"She keeps hurting you, doesn't she?"

"N-no Freddie, she-"

Freddie broke her off. "I can see it Emily. I can tell." He took a deep breath. "And I know she likes Effy."

She shut her eyes tight, Freddie's words making the throbbing in her chest worse. "But Effy likes you right?" She blurted out. "I know she likes you."

"Effy doesn't know who she really likes." He replied. "She's confused."

"Of what?" She mumbled, her forehead folding into a crease.

"Who she likes more. Me or Naomi. She's struggling to keep us both."

"That's selfish." She scowled. "Isn't it?"

"It's because she's scared."

"Scared?"

Freddie nodded. "She's scared of losing me and Naomi." He paused, looking straight into Emily's eyes. "Scared of losing us both, to you."

"Me?"

Freddie sprang up to his feet and stood in front of the red head. He slowly crouched down to meet Emily's gaze. "Because Naomi's with you now."

The red head bit her lip. If only Freddie knew.

"And because I told her that, that I like you."

Emily's eyes grew wide with shock. "Freddie I-" She stammered, shaking her head, too lost for words. "A-are you serious?"

"I am." He truthfully answered, watching several expressions register on Emily's face, from shock to disbelief, disbelief to confusion. He gave her a few minutes to recover, hearing her quickened breaths, before speaking again. "Emily, can I ask you something?"

The red head nodded, still too dumbfounded to speak.

He took both her hands, his fingers encircling in them, and gave gentle squeezes. "Will you give me a chance to show you how much I like you?"

"Freddie I-I." She stammered, her thoughts turning into a giant whirlpool of confusion. "It's not, I mean, I don't-" She faltered, unable to articulate any coherent thing to say. Everything was just happening too fast, all of them at the same time. Too fast that it made her want to scream as loud as she can. Slowly, her mind registered Freddie's hand on hers. She wanted to pull away because it felt wrong, her heart yearning for another pair of hands to hold hers. Another pair that might be holding somebody else's right at this very moment. The thought made her squeeze Freddie's hand all of a sudden, the throbbing ache pulsating wildly in her veins. She knew Freddie might get the wrong idea, but she couldn't find the strength to correct it because right now, she needed somebody, anybody, that bad. She needed comfort to ease the piercing pain searing her heart.

"I don't need you to answer now." He smiled kindly. "But, please think about it Emily."

She tipped her head up and chewed on her bottom lip. Things are just so fucked up.

Across the street, both Freddie and Emily missed the blue Ferrari that had started breezing furiously down the road.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Naomi angrily stormed out of her car, slamming the door shut as hard as she could. What the fuck was Freddie playing at? Why the fuck was he with Emily? She spotted the front wheel and kicked it with full force, causing her to stub her toe. "Fuck!" She howled in pain, lifting her offended foot, and struggled to keep her balance as she attended to her now swollen toe. "Jesus fucking Christ!" She shouted while hopping on one foot, her swollen toe stinging. She leaned against her car, slamming her hand on the roof as she remembered Freddie kneeling in front of Emily. "Back stabbing bastard." She muttered, infuriated. "Fucking twat." She dropped her foot and opened the car door to get her stuff, walking towards the gate after. She hooked her hand and flicked the lock open, kicking the gate with so much force that she stubbed her already swollen toe again. She burst into a fit of loud curses as she wailed in pain, making her way inside the house, limping. She switched the lights open and tossed her bag to the floor as she dropped herself onto the couch. She spotted and grabbed one cushion, squeezing it as tight as she could before throwing it against the window. She could feel her heavy, jagged breaths blowing out from her mouth, her sudden, unexplainable rage the mere cause of it. She shuffled on her seat so that her back was resting on the couch, her hand pinching her nose bridge then rubbing her temples. Naomi didn't even know why she was so angry and where the fury was coming from. She was supposed to be happy after spending the rest of the day with Effy. Well she was until she saw her twat of a friend, Freddie and Emily together at the playground. Fuck knows what they were talking about, but why did he had to kneel before her? Like he's proposing or something? Is that how you talk to your client nowadays?

Proposing? Fucking hell no!

She let out a loud groan at the thought, kicking her shoes off her feet. She's got more than enough reasons to kill Freddie, although she didn't exactly know what those reasons are. The only thing she knew was that she wanted to kill Freddie. She shook her head exceedingly, getting rid of the several thoughts deluging her mind. She shut her eyes tight, trying to picture Effy in her head, her eyebrows quirking as she frowned.

Since when did Effy have fiery red hair?

She shut her eyes tighter, tapping her forehead a few times. Concentrate Naomi for fuck's sake. She tried picturing Effy again, the brown hair turning to red, the pointed nose turning to a cute button one, the classic smirk turning into a heartwarming smile, and the beauty spot appearing right under the blue turned brown eyes.

What the fuck? Effy had blue eyes! Electric blue ones that sent thousand jolts to her spine! Not chocolate brown ones that made her knees wobble and her heart melt!

She screwed her eyes tighter than ever that they were almost hurting. She started chanting Effy's name inside her head.

Effy. Effy. Effy. Effly. Efily. Emily.

She let out a strangled scream as she writhed over the couch, shooting her eyes open as she gave up on picturing Effy. Ice cream. She needed ice cream to calm down, get her head straight. She stood up and ran to the kitchen, grabbing two spoons and glasses from the cupboard and the ice cream from the fridge. She gently placed them on the center table, fishing out her brownies from her bag after. She placed the box on the table as well, an incognizant yet wide smile shaping in her lips as she lifted the lid.

Cute, cute brownies.

She glanced at her watch and decided to ring Emily up since it was getting late, plus she wanted to share the ice cream with her, surprisingly. She scowled as she found no missed calls or text messages from the red head in her phone. She spent a good thirty minutes ringing Emily, cursing under her breath each time her call ended without being answered. She turned the tv on, feeling the rage rise up above her head once more upon remembering that she was with Freddie. She flicked on the channels, stopping at a bloody soap she didn't even like, just as long as it could take her mind off things. Her efforts seemed to be working for a moment until the lead actor, with black hair she noted, pulled his red haired partner for a kiss. Suddenly, it wasn't the actors she was seeing anymore, but rather Freddie and Emily. "Bloody fucking hell!" She covered her face with her hand, scrunching it altogether as she switched the channels.

Her eyes spotted her X-box under the tv and turned it on. Guitar Hero was the answer. She grabbed the guitar and chose a random song, tapping her fingers impatiently as she waited for the song to play. She grimaced as soon as it was played, the game's vocalist a female red head. She furiously tossed the guitar away and turned both the console and the tv off. Running her fingers through her hair, she rested her back against the couch, the silence of the house not even close to helping.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Emily gently pushed the front door open, her forehead crumpling upon noticing that all the lights were on. Her eyes wandered around, her gaze eventually falling on Naomi who was lying on the couch, soundly sleeping. She walked towards her, spotting the box of brownies, the already melted bucket of ice cream on top of the table and the two empty glasses as well. She rolled her eyes as she observed the whole place, finding cushions everywhere, the couch misaligned and the guitar controller lying flat on the ground. It looked like a tornado had passed by their living room. She sighed and dropped her bag, stooping down to wake Naomi up. She stretched her hand and was about to shake the sleeping blonde when she hesitated all of a sudden, her eyes beginning to study Naomi's sleeping form. She looked so calm and serene while she was sleeping, no single trace of bitchiness and cattish attitudes could be seen. She looked perfect. Emily was too engrossed on staring at the blonde's face that she hadn't noticed she'd leaned in too closely, already invading Naomi's personal space. She reached out ever so lightly, tucking the loose lock of blonde hair behind Naomi's ear, her fingertips gently brushing along the blonde's cheeks, not being able to help herself. She sighed deeply and pulled away, her hands instantaneously recoiling. This was wrong. She was only letting herself fall even deeper. She stood up straight and finally reached out, giving Naomi a gentle nudge.

"Naomi." She softly called out. She backed a few steps when she saw the blonde's eyes flutter open.

Naomi stretched out and let out a small yawn before rubbing her eyes and sitting up. "Did you get here sjust now?" She asked, voice thick with sleep.

"Yeah." The red head replied. "Why are you sleeping here?"

Naomi abruptly stopped midway of her stretching, her face surprised, when she heard Emily's answer. She glanced at her watch and frowned upon seeing what time it already was. "Just now?" She blurted out. "Jesus Em! Look at what time is it!"

"What now?" Emily retorted. She definitely didn't need this, not right now. "I can't even go home anytime I want to?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, her lips quivering. "Where have you been?"

"Why ask?" The red head spat back. "You didn't tell me where you and Effy went."

The blonde froze, totally not expecting Emily's retort. She paused for a moment, unable to find anything to throw back. She watched as Emily's lips quirked, her nose scrunching up with anger. The red head threw her a heated glare and spun around, marching towards the kitchen. Naomi quickly sprung to her feet and followed Emily, her eyes finding the red head leaning against the counter with a glass of water in hand. She swallowed hard, feeling the rage rise up in her head again. "Were you with Freddie?"

Emily slowly turned around, her eyes squinting. "No."

"Liar." Naomi sneered. It just slipped out from her lips for she never meant to say it out loud.

"What?" The red head scowled.

"Nothing." Naomi mumbled, averting her gaze. "I'm hungry, make me something."

"Didn't you have dinner with Effy?" The blonde didn't miss the resentment on Emily's tone.

"No, I didn't."

"Make yourself something then." Emily replied angrily, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm tired."

Naomi's eyes grew wide with surprise. "B-but, but-" She stuttered for a little while. She huffed out loud, her teeth gnashing as she spoke. "I'll throw you out if you don't make dinner."

"Do I look like a fucking saucepan to you?" Emily snorted and rolled her eyes. "Jesus, grow up Naomi!"

"Why? What you gonna do about it?" The blonde sneered. "Gonna leave by your own will?"

"Won't make any difference would it?" The smaller girl retorted. "Whether I'm here or not it's still the same."

"It's not." Naomi barely whispered, her gaze falling everywhere except at Emily's face. "I-It's a bit, a bit-" She faltered, taking huge gulps as she tried to let the words out.

The red head's mouth dropped open, her lips forming a huge 'o' as she was surprised by Naomi's answer. It took her quite a while before she could respond, her eyes circling wide with utter disbelief at what she had just heard. She closed her mouth and swallowed hard before she asked. "A bit what?"

"The house is, I mean, it seems dark and lonely." The blonde hesitated, biting her lip as she threw quick glances at Emily. "When you're not around." She could feel the hotness spreading across her cheeks, the bright pink color tainting them.

Emily slowly uncrossed her hands, dropping them to each of her sides, one hand gripping the kitchen counter. "What?" She mumbled almost inaudibly, her heartbeats starting to race. "What was that?"

"I'm saying." Naomi pressed her lips in a tight line. "When you're not here, it's dark." She barely whispered, lifting her head up to finally meet Emily's gaze, letting herself be lost in them momentarily. She could see the glint dancing in Emily's brown ones and she could tell hers had the same glint in them. It was when a flash of brunette hair entered her mind that she broke her hold, averting her gaze quickly. "Because nobody will turn on the bloody lights." She suddenly shouted. "Now go make me something."

Emily watched as Naomi spun around in her heels, leaving her alone in the kitchen with a look of mixed expressions and grimace on her face. She could feel her lips quivering with irritation, her nose scrunching up as she poked her tongue out towards the blonde's direction. She let out a muffled scream, her fists shaking in the air as she stomped her feet against the floor.

Disorder theory proven.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Emily opted to stay on the living room while Naomi was finishing her supper in the kitchen. She sighed, picking up the thrown cushions and placing them back before aligning the couch once more. She cleaned up all the mess that Naomi had made before dropping herself on the couch and turning the tv on. She was too focused on the show that she hadn't noticed the blonde slipping beside her.

"Ice cream?" Naomi offered, smiling at Emily.

Emily turned her head quickly, eyeing the bucket of ice cream the blonde was holding. She grimaced and let out a groan. "It's melted already."

"It's your fault." Naomi retorted, putting the bucket down on top of the table. Emily frowned at her.

"How the hell is it my fault?"

"You went home late." The blonde answered, her voice heavy, words full of subtle resentment as she remembered what she had seen in the playground.

Emily stared at Naomi with confused eyes. "So?"

"We weren't able to eat it, coz you're late." Naomi replied casually. "And I fell asleep. I wasn't able to put it back in the fridge."

The red head snorted and rolled her eyes. "You mean you waited for me?" She bantered, her upper lip quivering.

"I-I." Naomi averted her gaze, feeling her cheeks tainting into a blush. "N-no, I didn't." She stammered. "I just fell asleep here. Yes that's it."

"Whatever." Emily chuckled, reaching for a piece of brownie on the table.

"Oi!" Naomi blurted out. "What are you doing?"

"Erm, eating a brownie? What does it look like I'm doing?"

"But that's mine!" The blonde shouted as she tried to get her brownie back.

"But I baked it!" Emily retorted, shoving the other girl's hand away from the piece she was holding.

"Still, it's mine. I get to say who could have one yeah?" Naomi scowled.

The red head pouted, tossing the brownie back to the box. "Selfish bitch." She soundlessly mouthed, grumbling to herself.

"Oi, be careful!" Naomi shouted, swatting Emily's hand. "You'll ruin it."

"You know, I've got a feeling you won't even eat those." Emily sneered. "I could make fucking dozens of brownies Naomi."

"It's my brownies so I'll do whatever I fucking want with it." She poked her tongue out, sending the red head into a fit of giggles.

"Why are you laughing?" The blonde eyed Emily with a glare. "Don't laugh. I'm fucking serious." She muttered, jabbing a finger on Emily's side.

"Alright, alright. I'll stop." Emily spoke in between her laughter. She shuffled on her seat so that she was facing Naomi properly. "What?" She asked as she caught the blonde staring at her.

"Em." Naomi whispered.

"Yeah?"

The blonde swallowed hard, taking deep breaths before speaking. "I-If, if Freddie gives you gifts, will you make him brownies too?" She slightly pulled a face, hating herself for sounding so stupid. "Like mine?"

Emily let out a light shrug. "It depends."

"Why?" Naomi frowned.

"I don't know if I would or I won't." The smaller girl replied casually.

"Why don't you know?"

"'Coz I'm not sure."

"Well just choose." The blonde retorted, getting impatient by the second. "Yes or no?"

"Why are you so fucking curious?"

"Jesus! Just choose!"

"No!" Emily shouted, throwing an irritated glare towards Naomi. "Satisfied?"

A huge smirk crept up on the blonde's lips, grinning from ear to ear. "It's late. Let's go to sleep." She mouthed before picking up her brownies and practically running upstairs to her room, leaving Emily blowing out exasperated breaths and muffled screams.

She gently placed the box of brownies on top of her bedside table upon getting inside her room. She stripped off from her clothes and climbed to her bed, her arms and legs spreading out wide as she flapped them over and over, her wide grin still stuck on her face. She let out a soft sinister laugh as she basked on the satisfied feeling over the red head's answer.

Emily's brownies were hers and hers alone. In your fucking face Freddie.