Title: Love Accidentally - Chapter 23

Author: kreia03

Rating: M

Warnings: Some swear words.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I hate that fact. Seriously.

Summary: When someone gives up because of too much hurting.

A/N: Sorry for the late update! I don't know if this chap would make up, but I'm hoping you all would like it. Thanks again for the comments and reviews!

"You came."

"You sounded upset over the phone." Naomi replied, grimacing as soon as she spotted Effy seated on the bar stool near the kitchen, the brunette almost off her face. "Eff, stop that." She blurted out as she drew near, stealing the shot glass from the brunette's hand. "Why are you trying to get drunk this fucking early?"

Effy's lips curled up into her classic smirk. "Nothing. Just want to." She stood up and grabbed another shot glass, pouring vodka in it. She offered it to Naomi who in turn, shook her head.

"I'm driving Eff. Can't drink." Naomi replied, sitting on the stool right next to the other girl.

The brunette's eyebrow quirked but she didn't say anything. She took the glass back instead and brought it to her lips, downing it in one go.

"Christ! Stop it yeah?" Naomi shouted, taking the bottle of vodka itself and bringing it to her side of the counter, somewhere where the brunette can't reach for it. "How many did you have already?"

"Don't know." Effy shrugged. "Don't care."

The blonde let out a weary sigh, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "Did something happen?" She anxiously asked, rolling her eyes when Effy chose not to answer. Typical Effy.

"How's Emily?"

Naomi's brow shot up in surprise, forgetting the fact that the brunette had ignored her question. "Erm, she's doing fine." She answered with hesitation. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing." Effy murmured. "Is it bad to ask about her?"

"No, no. Of course not." The blonde shook her head. "I didn't mean it that way." She reached for the bottle of orange juice she spotted over the counter and poured a glassful for herself, perfectly aware of Effy's gaze watching her every move.

"Do you like her that much?"

Naomi felt herself choking at the orange juice she was drinking, the liquid nearly splattering all over the bar counter. Effy's question caught her entirely off guard. "What?" She asked in between coughs, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Well, do you?" The brunette continued, her brow quirking. "Do you like her more than me now?"

"Jesus!" Naomi blew an exasperated breath and slammed the glass against the counter, rolling her eyes. "What are you even on about Effy?"

"I don't like her." Effy quickly shifted her gaze back to her moist shot glass, her lean fingers wiping the beads of water that had formed around it.

"What?" She cried out as the brunette's words confused her more. "Stop fucking playing mind games with me Eff."

"I don't like her." Effy repeated, eyes still glued to the shot glass. "Because she's taking you away from me." She barely whispered, quite unsure if she wanted the words to reach the blonde's ears or not, but felt the need to say it nonetheless.

"That's bloody ridiculous Eff." Naomi chuffed out loud. "We're friends. We've been friends since forever."

"I don't even know why I'm clinging to you this much." The brunette continued, completely ignoring Naomi's remarks. "I'm clinging to you even if I'm fucking in love with someone else." She scoffed, tipping her head up as she took a quiet deep breath. "I'm in love with Freddie, fucking in love with him, yet, I still get jealous of Emily. Because I want to keep hold of you."

"Effy."

"I'm selfish. I know." She paused and closed her eyes for a little while, momentarily lost on her own train of thoughts. "But I just can't seem to let you go Naomi." She brought her head down and slowly turned to meet the blonde's eyes. "I can't because every time I try, it hurts. It fucking hurts."

It took quite a while before Naomi could respond, her eyes growing wide with surprise once the weight of Effy's words began to sink in. She swallowed hard, feeling the need of doing so as her throat had suddenly gone dry. "Eff." She managed to huff out as she struggled to think of anything coherent to say, yet she came up empty. Instead, she continued to stare at Effy's electric blue eyes, allowing the brunette to read her inside and out, to read the thoughts that she couldn't afford to muster and articulate into sensible words, words that she couldn't find the strength to say. She liked Effy, liked her for the longest time she could even remember. And she's determined to hold onto her, until Effy herself tells her to let go.

"Don't let go of me Naomi." Effy barely whispered. "Don't leave me."

"I won't." Naomi breathlessly answered. "I'll never let go unless you want me to."

Though somehow, as she said those words, she felt a certain twinge of guilt rise up on her chest.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Emily glanced at her watch as she shuffled on the bench she was seated at, scowling upon seeing that it was way past nine and still no Naomi in sight. She had been waiting outside the mall for six hours already, having been dropped off at around three in the afternoon. She hadn't been inside ever since she had been dropped off, hadn't been able to check on any pocket pc that she'd possibly like because she wanted Naomi to be there with her when she'd go over the gadgets. She sighed and bent down to reach for her legs, which were badly aching from standing for the first few hours of her wait and from pacing back and forth as she searched for any signs of the blonde, massaging them gently as she tried not to wince. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and watched as the number of people coming in and out of the mall slowly diminished, the mall lights being switched off one by one. She fished her phone out and pressed speed dial one, trying to get Naomi to pick up her call for God knows how many times already.

"Fuck's sake." She cursed under her breath when her call had reached its end without being answered again, for the umpteenth time already, taking it as a sign to just fuck off and head home. She looked around for one last time, her neck outstretched as she roamed her eyes, scolding herself not long after when she realized that she was still hoping that Naomi would magically appear in front of her, because really, why would Naomi opt to spend time with her when she's already having the time of her life with Effy? She heaved a deep sigh before turning around, heading for the bus stop as she started to make her way home, alone like almost always.

She leaned her head against the cold bus window and glumly watched the roughly empty streets that they passed by, laughing sadly as the streets perfectly mirrored what she felt inside. She softly banged her head against the glass, banged it over and over as she tried to knock some sense into her.

Naomi wasn't hers and never will be.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

She wanted to hate herself for constantly forgetting that this was all a huge pretending, a scheme devised for her and Naomi's benefit, a scheme that was about to end within a month's time.

Falling in love with Naomi was never part of the equation.

Love.

The word rang loud in her head and she shuffled on her seat to quickly bury her face in her hands, as acceptance began to dawn on her. She had fallen in love with Naomi even if she willed herself not to, fallen in too deep that she didn't have the faintest idea how to heave herself up. It was all unexpected, never really crossed her mind to be honest. She just started to feel things she knew she shouldn't. The way her heart would behave when she's in the same room with Naomi, and the way it would beat wildly if Naomi drew close. How she was driven mad by silence every time Naomi was gone. How she loved talking to her even if they end up bickering most of the time. How she hated every meaningful stare that Naomi gave to Effy, hated the way Naomi would say Effy's name for it sounded much more different than the way Naomi would say hers. And she hated how Naomi would leave her in the middle of nowhere without hesitation just to come to Effy's aid, like she's a fucking superhero who needs to save a damsel in fucking distress.

Though somehow she wished, she was the damsel instead, as crazy as it might sound.

She huffed out loud and swallowed hard, pushing the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, fighting back the tears that had started to sting her eyes, tears abruptly brought by her very last thought.

The truth, why did it have to fucking hurt all the time?

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

It didn't surprise Emily at all when she found their house dark and empty, though these past few days it wasn't like that. The past days, it became more of a home to her when she and Naomi started to get along, a home and not just a mere bricked edifice used to house two people in it. The past days, they were always together, almost inseparable.

Almost.

She shook her head to break free from her musings and stepped inside the house instead, heading towards the kitchen straightaway to grab something to eat. She rummaged through the fridge and took out the closest things she could find that could pass as a decent meal, tossing them into the counter while she kept on grumbling.

"Making fucking promises but never doing it."

She slammed the door of the fridge and scooped all the food she tossed in the counter with her arms, kicking the kitchen door open so that she could step outside to her garden. She dropped everything on the wooden chair swing and took a seat, her eyes flickering between her planted flowers and the calm sea, meters away from her house. She grabbed a can of root beer and a bag of Twiglets, tearing it open as she furiously stuffed a handful to her mouth, still grumbling under her breath. Her eyes spotted her lilies and for once she wanted to march towards them and pull them all out, though she was able to convince herself that the lilies had nothing to do with it. It wasn't entirely their fault that they were named after that lying blonde girl. She began to seriously consider planting a Venus flytrap somewhere in her garden and name it Effy, albeit being so much sure that the moment Naomi would find out about it, she'd throw a massive fit. She ruled the idea out, thinking that it may do more harm than good because Naomi would side with Effy and she'd just end up as the evil one instead, the immature one. She blew out a deep breath and leaned her back against the chair rest, tipping her head up to look at the sky. She saw the three stars again but this time, the lone star seemed to be standing farther than it used to. Her eyes softened with sadness as she continued to stare, feeling a great deal of sympathy for the star because it seemed like no matter how much efforts it made just to come close and stay, they all become wasted in the end, like there's an invisible force pushing it away from the two because they were meant to be together.

"Fucking hell." She blurted out, quickly averting her gaze from the star as she felt her eyes welling up. "Stupid fucking star. Stop fucking trying you twat!" She spat out, the words more likely directed to herself and not the star.

"Em?"

"Christ!" She jumped, spilling droplets of root beer in the process. She quickly turned around and scowled as soon as she saw who was standing before her. She rolled her eyes but didn't speak.

"When did you get in?" Naomi asked, her voice gentle yet hesitant.

"Does it even matter?" Emily retorted, throwing a heated glare towards the blonde.

Naomi flinched a little at the sound of Emily's tone. "Did you wait that long?"

"Now you're asking?" The red head sneered, rolling her eyes as she threw the pack of Twiglets and slammed the root beer can on the wooden chair swing, starting to march inside to get out of Naomi's sight.

The blonde hurriedly grabbed Emily by the wrist as she passed by her, stopping the red head from walking any further. "Look, I'm sorry." She muttered, her grip on Emily tightening. "I was at Effy's and she passed out and I-"

"I get it Naomi." Emily angrily broke off, feeling the sudden familiar throb rise from her chest. "Save it."

"Em-"

"You could have at least called or answered any of my calls." She mumbled, her words heavy, swallowing hard to push back her tears. "You could have at least told me that you'll have to cancel. So then, I wouldn't have to waste my time and look like a fucking idiot trying to wait for you." She forcefully yanked her hand away from Naomi's grip without looking back. "Or maybe, you shouldn't have invited me in the first place, when you clearly wanted to be with someone else."

Naomi grimaced as she watched Emily walk out on her, scrunching her face with her hand as she drew out deep breaths. She launched herself and bolted into a run to catch up with the red head, grabbing her by the wrist again and turning her around to face her this time. "Emily, will you just wait?"

Emily scoffed out loud. "I'm tired of waiting Naomi." She pulled her hand away furiously. "I don't even want to think of the word."

"Jesus! Why are you so upset?" Naomi suddenly blurted out, feeling her own temper rise. "Fine, I'm a total cow for making you wait. But I said I'm sorry."

"It's not just about making me wait Naomi." Emily spat back, her fingers curling into fists. "It's about making fucking promises when you don't have the intention of fulfilling them." She started to scream her words. "Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid Naomi?"

"Jesus fucking Christ Emily! It's not like I knew Effy would call!" The blonde exclaimed, her hands flailing in the air. "Besides you could have just left!"

"I didn't because you promised me you'd get back!" Emily shouted, her cheeks burning red with anger. "All I wanted was one single call Naomi. One call to save me from waiting for fucking nothing. Was that too much to ask?" She lifted her hand to angrily wipe the tears that had started to stream relentlessly on her cheeks.

"What are you? My girlfriend now?" Naomi spat callously, goading Emily to throw something back.

"What?" Emily exclaimed in disbelief.

"You're acting like you're my real fucking girlfriend!" The blonde retorted. "You're demanding things from me." She scowled. "You're taking your role way too seriously Emily."

The red head froze from where she was standing, stopping all of a sudden, her once erupting rage slowly dying down. Naomi's harsh words felt like a hard slap in her face. Her eyes widened with surprise from what she had just heard, the strong throbbing in her chest replacing all the fury that burned within her. She grimaced in disbelief, her eyes squinting as she muttered. "I was only asking for one call Naomi. Would it fucking kill you to be away from Effy for a minute?"

"Leave her out of this Emily." Naomi ran her fingers through her hair, her jaw clenching tight at Emily's words, not liking her tone one bit. "She's got nothing to do with this."

"She's got everything to do with this!" The red head screamed back. "She keeps leading you on and dropping you whenever she wants to."

"You don't know anything yeah?" Naomi spoke, the words barely escaping her gritted teeth. "So don't you ever talk about her that way."

"I may not know anything Naomi but I'm not fucking blind." The red head took a deep breath, her lips quivering, the jealousy she felt growing stronger and completely taking over her as it was fueled by Naomi's every attempt to defend Effy. "She pulls you and then pushes you away. And I'm the one who's taking the piss because you keep making me wait." She tipped her head up, feeling her eyes sting with tears. She didn't want to cry in front of Naomi. She didn't want to show Naomi how much all of this was hurting her. "I don't even know how many times I've waited for you."

"I never told you to wait!" Naomi shouted, making the red head flinch. "It was your own fucking decision so don't fucking blame me!"

Emily's mouth dropped wide open in shock and disbelief, taking her moments before she could answer back. "You know what?" She muttered angrily. "I'm not waiting for you anymore."

"Well thank fuck!" The blonde exclaimed harshly. "Do whatever you fucking like. It's not like I mind because you're nothing to me Emily. You're nothing." She spoke with such weight that it took quite a while before Emily could respond.

The red head swallowed hard, pushing the verging wave of tears threatening to fall. "I know that now." She barely whispered, her voice breaking down as she felt her heart just shatter into a thousand pieces. But she couldn't bring herself to cry. Not here, not now. "Until now I can't figure out the reason why I fell in love with you." She watched as Naomi's expression change from anger to shock, her blue eyes circling wide upon her sudden confession. Yet it didn't stop her from blurting everything out. Suddenly, everything became too much. She felt like she was going to explode if she didn't let it all out. "It was probably the most stupid thing I've ever done in my entire life. Allowing myself to fall in love with somebody like you." She shook her head, shaking the tears away. "But it's going to be different now, coz from now on, you're nothing to me too Naomi." She muttered, her voice stronger than earlier, her words firm. She eyed the blonde with one last hateful glare before turning around and bolting out to the front door.

She left with a shattered heart that she didn't know if it could ever be whole again.