Title: Love Accidentally - Chapter 32

Author: kreia03

Rating: M

Warnings: Swear words.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I hate that fact. Seriously.

Summary: It wasn't even a threat, just a mere statement of fact casually spoken, though with enough conviction in its tone that it scared her, affrighted her in such a way that it made her dread something to a greater extent than the utmost of her fears, more than the thunderstorms and the clowns, more than anything else she had ever been afraid of.

A/N: Chapter 32 *wiggles* I hope you like this chap. The next update might be delayed because I'll be returning the laptop I borrowed. :( But I'll try and work something out :D Please leave a comment/ review if you have the time. Here it is. *crosses fingers*

How do you exactly get out of some place you desperately want to escape from, when you're too stunned to move, too frozen to even twitch a single muscle, too numb that you couldn't feel your legs at all? And if not for the feeling of your heart thumping out loud against your chest, you'd probably think that you're dead because you'd forgotten how to breathe, the air stuck in your lungs as you inhaled a mouthful but didn't expel it out.

It was as if your feet suddenly had grown roots and dug themselves through the floor you were standing at, that no matter how much effort you had exerted just to make a single tiny movement, like forcing your toes to curl up, it would all go down to waste. Like you were suddenly turned into some stone statue, on which even blinking seemed next to impossible to do. You turned absolutely stock-still, that the expression you'd been wearing moments ago was still evident on your face up until now, mouth hanging wide open, eyes bulging like they were almost popping out.

Three simple words and every individual part of Emily's body felt like it ceased functioning altogether.

"I choose her."

It wasn't even a threat, just a mere statement of fact casually spoken, though with enough conviction in its tone that it scared her, affrighted her in such a way that it made her dread something to a greater extent than the utmost of her fears, more than the thunderstorms and the clowns, more than anything else she had ever been afraid of. She wanted to pretend that she heard it wrong, that the 'her' Effy was talking about wasn't who she was thinking it was, because Jesus, 'her' was a fucking pronoun widely used to refer to every bloody female out there.

But she heard every word clearly, like it was screamed right on her face and not heard through behind the thick door.

And she was so much sure that Effy could only be pertaining to one person. It weakened her resolve, that all her attempts to convince herself to actually deny something that was so obvious just went down, shoved straight to the bin. She wanted to lean in again, to press her ears once more against the wooden door, but she was too afraid to hear the name slip right out of Effy's lips, because by then, all that she had been dreading about would become real.

She just wasn't that brave enough to face it, to face the fact that now Effy had made her choice, she could lose Naomi with a mere flick of her fingers. She might have constantly refused to acknowledge it, but she wasn't actually that blind not to see it, that certain hold Effy had on Naomi, like her fingers were delicately wrapped around Naomi's shoulders, ready to keep Naomi with her when someone tried to take her away. Emily knew she was being unfair by thinking badly about Effy because she didn't know her that well, but she couldn't help it, couldn't understand this certain hold no matter how hard she tried to. She wanted to be fair to Effy because among the top things she had always hated, injustice was one of them. She wanted not to hate Effy, for she really had no reason to. But she's just one fragile human who was vulnerable enough to lose her logical judgments against overwhelming jealousy, especially when her thoughts wander to Effy's hold turning tender, almost loving, and it made her heart ache, because she was so sure that Naomi would lean against Effy's touch, while she'd strain away from hers.

She shook her head and quickly turned around upon hearing a chair scrape loudly against the floor, the muffled sound barely passing the thick wooden door, abruptly pulling her out of her musings. She scrambled to her feet and scurried down the hallway, straight to the lift queue, fighting her tears hard as they threaten to fall. She willed herself not to cry, because she's just tired of it, tired of feeling weak all the time, worse it made her feel like she's just some wimp that could be bullied by everybody around. She knew she could always make a stand, perfectly knew that she was capable to fight. It all just depends on how much she's willing to lose, how much she's willing to risk. The lift doors swung open and she stepped inside, with a new decision running on her mind.

If Effy's words meant what she supposed it did, then she's not going to back down.

It being worthy wasn't even a question.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Naomi took a deep breath before reaching for the handle of the glass door of Effy's shop, pushing it ever so gently to make the littlest noise she could. Slowly walking inside, her neck craned in search for Effy, her steps uncertain as she trod towards the brunette upon finding her standing near the rack of clothes, Effy's back turned from her. She stopped a fair distance away from the brunette and cleared her throat, her heart beating nervously as Effy slowly turned around. She offered her a tentative smile, not really knowing what to expect of Effy's reply, for they hadn't spoken to each other ever since that night she left her on the car. She lowered her head and watched the brunette from under her lids when Effy just stood there before her, hand resting on one of the racks, her face expressionless as ever.

"Hey Eff." She softly greeted, her gaze flickering from the brunette's face and the floor. It was just entirely uncomfortable, seeing Effy like this. She just wasn't used to it. "Listen, I-I—"

"Don't say you're sorry." Effy broke off quickly. "If you want us to still be friends, don't say it."

"But Eff—"

"Look. I just want to forget about it yeah?" The brunette retorted. "I'm pretending it didn't happen."

"Oh, okay." Naomi nodded, finally lifting her gaze to stare at Effy directly, biting her lip when the brunette's expression didn't falter. "I think you're still mad at me." She spoke after a few moments of complete silence.

"And why would you even think that?"

"Because you're not even smiling."

"Jesus Naomi." Effy rolled her eyes. "Just because I don't smile doesn't mean I hate the world already."

"Right." Naomi pressed her lips together. "I'm really—"

"I told you, don't say it." The brunette cried out, quickly cutting the other girl off. "For the record, I'm not mad yeah?"

"You aren't?"

"Yeah. I'm not mad." Effy quickly averted her gaze and lowered her head. "I'm a bit hurt, but not mad."

It was all that Naomi needed to finally cross the distance between her and Effy. She slowly walked towards her, one hand reaching for Effy's chin, bringing it around to face her as she slipped a couple of fingers under it. "Hey." She softly called out, smiling a little when she met Effy's eyes. "Don't be."

"Sorry." Effy mumbled as she uncrossed her arms from her chest, dropping them to her sides.

"Silly you." The blonde replied. "Why would you be?"

Effy hunched her shoulders, letting out a shrug. "I don't know. Just feels like it."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "I really don't get you sometimes."

"You don't always have to right?" The brunette answered, her lips curling up to a smirk. "I mean, where's the fun in that?"

"Right. It's always fun solving bloody cryptic moods." Naomi replied sardonically, her teeth baring as she let out a sneer.

"Shut up."

The blonde let out a soft chuckle and moved her hand around Effy's shoulder. "We're sorted then?"

Effy's smirk turned into one wide smile as she answered with a nod, smiling even wider when Naomi pulled her into a hug and planted a kiss on her forehead. "You're getting all handsy again." She snorted, biting her lip to stifle her laughter.

"The fuck Eff." Naomi quickly pulled away, her face contorting into a grimace. "Way to ruin best friend bonding time yeah?"

"Ewww. You call this soppy shit bonding time?"

"Right. This isn't us." The blonde replied, bursting into a fit of giggles upon seeing the disgust on Effy's face.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

"Em?"

"Hey."

She smiled upon hearing Emily's husky voice on the other line. "Were you able to get your things at JJ's?"

"Yeah. They're in my room now." Emily answered. "Where are you now?"

"At the bar." She casually replied, lifting her hand to signal to Effy who had just come back from the loo.

"Are you drinking?"

"No." She let out a small chuckle, noticing Emily's worried tone. "No, I'm not, I promise."

"Good, coz you're driving." The red head answered, letting out a breath of relief. "So you won't be home for dinner then?"

"I don't think I'd make it." Naomi replied. "I'm not even sure how late I'll be. Effy wants to drink."

"Oh." Emily mumbled ever so softly that the blonde barely heard it, the memory of what she had heard earlier rushing back to her mind. "Right. I see."

"You alright?" Naomi asked, noticing the sudden change on Emily's tone.

"Yeah." The red head answered, pushing the lump suddenly lodging on her throat. "I guess I'm just tired."

"You should sleep then. Don't wait for me yeah?"

"I--"

"I have to go now Em." She broke off hurriedly upon seeing a couple of guys beginning to hover around Effy, one of them extending his hand towards her. She quickly pressed the red button, scurrying towards Effy as she placed the phone back to her pocket. She was halfway down to the bar stool where Effy was seated when she saw the men walking away, a triumphant smirk plastered on Effy's face. She let out a short sigh of relief and slipped beside the brunette.

"What was that?"

Effy merely shook her head. "Wankers."

She fell into a chortle and signaled to the bar tender for a drink.

"Naomi."

The blonde switched her gaze from the beer can she was handed by, to Effy's face, tilting her head to the side so that she could see her clearly. "Yeah?"

"Remember that--"

"Hang on Eff." Naomi broke off all of a sudden as she fished her phone out again, holding her forefinger up when she dialed Emily's number for the second time that night. "I just need to tell Em something." She twisted to her other side that she didn't see the glint of jealousy that flashed through Effy's electric blue eyes. "Em?"

"Naomi?" The red head answered on the other line. "What is it?"

"Don't fall asleep by the desk." Naomi reminded, shaking her head though Emily couldn't really see it. "Or the couch yeah? Sleep in your room okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Emily replied casually.

"I'll smack you in the head if I see you sleeping downstairs." She smiled upon hearing Emily giggle. "I'm serious."

"'Course you are."

"Right. I have to go."

"Drive safely."

She snapped her phone shut and shuffled on her seat to face Effy, who just in time managed to force a smile. "Sorry about that." Naomi apologized. "What was that you we're saying Eff?"

"I was gonna ask if you remember that time when we were like 12?" Effy dragged her eyes upwards as she tried to recall if what she was saying was right. "When some random boy in our class stole my eraser?"

Naomi snorted out loud as she remembered, laughing so hard at the memory that the beer almost spilled on top of the counter. "And I punched him squarely on the face because he made you cry."

Effy nodded exceedingly, laughing as well. "And Freddie pulled his pants down that the whole class saw his willy."

"But I never got your eraser back." Naomi spoke after a few beats, once their laughter had died down. "It was Freddie who got it for you."

"Well, yeah." Effy answered with a shrug. "Back then, I used to think Freddie was my hero." She shifted on the stool, uncrossing her legs as she tilted her head up. "But now that I think of it. It was you who first made the move, who first wanted to stand up for me." She dropped her gaze, turning her head to offer a small smile to the blonde sitting beside her. "You were always there for me Naomi."

"Because you were there for me too Eff." Naomi answered. "That's what friends do right?"

"You were there even if I was taking you for granted." She smiled to her sadly, her eyes softening. "You had to put up with me all the time."

"Effy." The blonde drawled out. "I'm not complaining okay? Did you ever hear me complain?"

"No." The brunette shook her head. "But that doesn't mean you're okay with it."

"Eff, look." Naomi reached out, taking one of the other girl's hands and putting it in between hers. "If I wasn't okay with it, I would have fucked off a long time ago." She smiled as she caught a lock of her hair and tucked it in behind Effy's ear. "Really Eff. I owe you more than you can ever think of."

"It's just that--"

"No. Don't." Naomi interrupted with a firm shake of her head. "No feeling guilty or shit like that alright?"

Effy broke into a smile. "Right." She nodded at Naomi. "Thanks." She leaned in, planting a soft yet firm kiss on Naomi's cheek.

O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O+O

Emily had been seating at the wooden chair swing for hours now, having been there right after she spoke at Naomi on the phone. She had her head tipped up, her back leaning against the wooden rest as she stared at the sky above her, her feet kicking the ground from time to time to rock the swing back and forth. She let out a series of deep sighs as she got lost among her scattered thoughts, shaking her head each and every time it wandered around anything related to Effy and what she had heard that morning. She knew she had made a decision, that she'd fight for Naomi given the chance no matter how stacked the odds were against her. But she wasn't ready yet, hadn't even prepared herself for whatever was going to come, hadn't even talked to Freddie. Because if she was going to do this, then she needed to draw a line to their friendship. As much as she appreciated Freddie's presence, especially at times when she needed somebody most, she didn't want to break his heart and cause him so much pain. It would be hard, since she had gotten quite used to him being there, but she didn't want him to be her comfort zone or something. She knew exactly how it would feel to love somebody who might not be able to love you back, knew how it would hurt if it was blatantly shown, the inability to return the same feelings. She heaved another deep sigh and titled her head, screwing her eyes shut as she attempted to let herself drift to sleep. But she couldn't, how could she sleep when she knew that Naomi's out with Effy, having fun and God knows what.

"Em?"

She quickly shifted around, her head whipping at breakneck speed that it almost hurt her neck, a wide smile instantaneously shaping on her lips when she saw Naomi leaning against the kitchen threshold. She had never been more than glad to see her. "You're home." It came out so softly, almost like a squeal that she grimaced when she heard it, her voice sounding like she just came from crying.

"What are you doing there?" Naomi asked, cocking her head to point at her. "I told you not to wait didn't I?" She walked towards the red head slowly, scowling at her for not following what she said. "I told you to go to sleep."

"I--" Emily tried to speak but something seemed to be lodged on her throat that she couldn't push the words out.

"Don't you trust me?" Naomi moved further, stopping right before the red head who was still seated on the wooden chair swing.

"No, i-it's not like that." The smaller girl animatedly shook her head, stopping abruptly when a small smile crept up on Naomi's lips.

"Here." The blonde murmured, producing a bouquet of lilies from behind her. "It's Wednesday." She murmured, seeing the surprised and confused expression on Emily's face. She smiled sheepishly, lowering her head a little to hide the light blush spreading across her cheeks, though she didn't fail to see that special glint dancing on Emily's eyes.

"You remembered." The red head barely whispered, her hands slowly reaching for the flowers. "It's beautiful." She could feel her heart pounding frantically, the flowers clutched tightly on her hands. It was a small thing really, but the fact that Naomi remembered was more than enough to make her heart swell with glee. "Thank you."

"'Course I remember." Naomi blurted out. "I'm not as old as my Mum to actually forget." She let out a small chuckle as she sat next to Emily by the swing. "So why are you still up yet?"

"I couldn't sleep." Emily answered sheepishly, feeling the hotness spread fast on her cheeks.

"Waiting for me eh?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Right." Naomi snorted out. "Whatever gives you peace of mind."

"I wasn't waiting yeah?" Emily replied defensively. "I just--I just couldn't sleep." She lifted her hand, covering her mouth as a small yawn escaped from her lips.

"And now you can, because I'm already here." The blonde bantered, seeing the yawn that Emily tried to hide.

"You're so up yourself, aren't you?"

"I'm just stating the fact Em."

"Whatever." Emily rolled her eyes, tipping her head up once again. "I like it here." She spoke after a few beats, smiling a little when she felt Naomi scoot a tad bit nearer to her.

"It's nice." The blonde answered. "It really is."

"Mhm." Emily merely moaned, feeling her eyes droop a little. She had no idea what time it already was and she was practically worn out. Somnolence was dawning over her now that she wasn't worked up anymore, not worried about where Naomi could possibly be.

"You should get to sleep Emily." Naomi whispered, leaning a little closer, her head hovering above Emily's face.

"Don't want to." The red head slurred, her eyes fluttering open as she tried to fight the sleep that was starting to take over her.

Naomi blew out a deep breath before resting back to her seat, one arm snaking behind Emily's shoulder as she pulled her gently towards her, letting Emily's head rest on the crook of her neck. "You're so stubborn, you know that." She could feel Emily nodding against her shoulder.

"As you are."

The blonde had to suppress her laughter as to not shake Emily. She's nearly as dead as a log but she was still arguing with her. She closed her eyes for a moment, basking on the feeling of the red head's hot breath hitting her skin, her own hand constantly rubbing up and down Emily's shoulder. "Em." She whispered softly.

"Hmm?"

"When you said--" She broke off, swallowing hard first as she felt a sudden lodge on her throat, eventually stopping what she was about to ask, what she had been wanting to ask for the longest time. "When you said you were in love with me--" She took a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves down, her free hand wiping the cold sweat that had formed on her forehead. "Did you mean it?"

Without any hesitation, Emily nodded her head gently. "I did." She slurred again, not even bothering to ask why Naomi had suddenly become curious about it. She was just too tired to even think straight, in fact, it might have seemed to her that was that she was just dreaming, because if she were awake, she wouldn't be able to answer the question at all without thinking of defending herself, of sparing her feelings, that she'd probably lie with her answer just to avoid getting hurt.

Naomi smiled at the answer, her hold on Emily getting tighter as she pulled her closer to her. "Em." She hissed softly, calling out again when the red head didn't respond. "Emily." She eventually gave up after a few calls, realizing that Emily had already fallen into deep a deep slumber. She rested her cheek on top of Emily's head and took a long, deep breath. She can't remember the last time she felt this light, this carefree, can't remember the last time she let somebody in aside from Effy. She closed her eyes tight before whispering. "Emily, don't give up on me."