Title: Love Accidentally - Chapter 41
Author: kreia03
Rating: M
Warnings: Swear words.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I hate that fact. Seriously.
Summary: In the end, she settled for the mixture of both, and it was just enough to stop her from crying or tossing up altogether, since both of those feelings were nauseating when taken unreservedly anyway.
A/N: Sorry for the super delay. I had to gather my thoughts back again . Thanks for sticking with me though! Means a lot! Hope you all like this one, had a bit of a hard time getting this out so….. *crosses fingers*
Special shout out to Sam, Melo, Sophia, Nicky, Inga, Pam, Susie, Skye, Harley, Nat and Chantal :) Thanks loads guys!
It was Katie who broke the news to Naomi, when everybody had seemed to sod off to God knows where, leaving the whole room occupied by Naomi alone. Cook was nowhere in sight and Gina and Pandora had already left, well, as Katie supposed.
She peeked her head by the door first, for a mere second, and when she saw Naomi reclining comfortably while flipping through the pages of the magazine she had brought, in which Naomi herself was the cover, she cleared her throat to somehow make her presence known, slipping inside in deliberate steps without waiting to be invited at all.
Naomi's head snapped up, rather hastily. "Hey." The corner of her lips were twitching to what Katie supposed was a smile, but her face abruptly turned quizzical. "Where's Em?"
"She's in the other room, sleeping." Katie answered casually, had to look around to check if they were indeed just the ones inside. "She's knackered."
"Oh, I see." Naomi nodded in understanding, and she breathed out a sigh so deep and somewhat concerned, her face dropping in an instant like she was actually blaming herself for the state of which Emily was in now, that Katie felt a sudden inkling to take her words back and tell Naomi that it was, well, normal for a person to get sick; she wasn't to blame for any of it. "She's really tired. She's been up most of the time."
Katie shifted her weight on her other leg, before opting to just sit at the edge of the bed. "A bit spent, but she'll be alright." She tried to assure, conjuring up a smile from out of nowhere despite of the many thoughts running inside her head. It wasn't supposed to be of a big deal, wasn't her problem actually but rather Emily's, but she just couldn't not meddle with it. Call it sister responsibilities or whatever. "So--" She started, pausing instantly, because she actually didn't know how to phrase the words out without sounding stupid at all, because you and Effy can't go by yourselves or you'll break Emily's heart sounded really fucking pathetic in some sense. "New York in two days."
It wasn't a question, more like stating a fact, but it still confused Naomi. "Huh?" She furrowed her forehead, tossed the magazine aside while eyeing Katie with a puzzled look. "New York?"
"Yeah. Fashion show coming up." Katie replied, the way she would normally tell Naomi about her upcoming schedule of activities. "It's going to be held in New York."
The creases on Naomi's forehead, first formed merely out of confusion, quickly turned into a full scowl. "And I'm being told just now?"
"I only found out about it this morning." Katie hunched her shoulders lightly.
"How long are we going to be there?"
"A week." She scooted over the mattress, moving much closer to Naomi and facing her completely. "Or so."
For a second, Naomi looked like her head was going to explode, and she had to pinch the bridge of her nose hard to calm her down in some way, because she had always hated things that came in such short notice. "They want us to be there in a week and they're letting us know this late." She exclaimed through gritted teeth, looking at Katie like she was forcing her to agree.
Katie huffed out a few breaths, fingers closing into fists, crumpling the sheets along with them as they curl. "Actually Naomi." She paused, tipped her head up and she sighed. "I'm not coming with you. It's just you and Effy."
"Me and Effy." Naomi repeated in clarification, and then she was lost in her thoughts the following moment that Katie had a sudden fear to find out what exactly was going inside Naomi's head, that Naomi might find the idea rather inviting and she'd actually agree to it. And, she could only imagine the amount of pain it would probably cost Emily.
A few more seconds of silence, and Katie felt like slapping Naomi or something merely to induce any reaction from her, just because the silence was doing Katie's head in, and she was almost raising her hand from the sheets, until thankfully, Naomi had finally decided to speak. "Why just the two of us?"
"Thomas said that Effy's sponsoring the show." Katie answered warily.
"And?"
"Only two people are allowed to go." She watched as Naomi dwelled in silence once again, looking all bewildered with something, and it was then that she noticed her heart beating hard beneath her chest, almost breaking out of its way.
"Two people." Naomi mumbled, and Katie could feel her heart constricting right on the spot because it would seem like Naomi was actually considering the idea. And she started filling her head with reasons she could voice out if needed, like gun ammos being loaded in the magazine, just so she could stop this from happening, a week in New York with Naomi and Effy alone. It was a big no-no in Katie's books. "That's fucking ridiculous." Naomi exclaimed all of a sudden, with a light shake of the head and Katie found herself exhaling relief, letting out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding since she had stepped inside Naomi's room.
The corner of her lips twitched up into a triumphant smirk as she watched Naomi twist around, reaching for her mobile lying by the nightstand, and she could only presume that Naomi was going to phone Thomas.
Problem solved, well, at least for now. She'd brace herself for the other things she was sure would come along, when they're already in New York.
***
"How long will you be away?" Emily asked the next day while her hands reached for a particular top, folding it with such practiced ease before stuffing it inside on one of the huge suitcases that Naomi had thrown open on top of the bed. She could hear Naomi's halting movements, the sounds of the rustling of clothes and the drawers being opened and closed stopping altogether, and it turned awfully quiet for a second or so.
"A week." Naomi answered, her voice coming out of the walk-in wardrobe faintly.
Emily reached for another top and a skirt, folding it as neatly as the other ones she had had done earlier. "Oh, okay." She murmured softly and pressed her lips in a thin line before she could even blurt out something utterly stupid or sappy like I'll miss you so much or don't share rooms with Effy, because she didn't want to sound pathetic at all, let alone, jealous. Even though Katie was coming with them, much to Naomi's insistence, she still couldn't help but think of the endless possibilities of what could happen, and they were swimming all around inside her head, because it was New York and one week was long enough for things to change, or force them to.
Naomi emerged from out of the huge wardrobe, which was ridiculously big enough for a person to room in, and crept behind Emily ever so quietly, her arms wrapping around Emily's waist from behind, without fair warning that it made Emily jump a tad bit. She chuckled softly. "I'll call you every time I can." She murmured to Emily's ear, tone reassuring, gently dropping her chin on top of Emily's shoulders afterwards. "I promise."
Emily heaved a deep breath and leaned backwards, allowing a quarter of her weight to fall onto Naomi. "You don't have to check on me every day." She answered half-heartedly to avoid sounding so needy, fingers finding Naomi's and lacing them together. "Just call once in a while, I'm okay with that."
Naomi unknotted their hands and turned Emily around to face her, her lips shaped up to a small smile. "Do you want me to bring you anything when I come back?"
"The Statue of Liberty?" Emily answered after a few beats of serious thinking, following it with a light laugh.
"Really clever Em." Naomi snorted and rolled her eyes. "No, really, what do you want?"
Emily shook her head, biting her bottom lip in the process to stop herself from saying something in the same context of just stay here and don't leave, because, well, it was just such an unreasonable thing to ask for. "I'm sure you'll find something fantastic." She smiled as Naomi pulled her into a tight embrace, and it felt nice because they barely do hugs when they're together (it was either kissing or making out or something more), enjoyed it actually, this nice change, though she tried not to put much meaning behind it.
***
When Naomi's day of the flight came, she purposely asked Emily to just stay at home and not to take her to the airport, giving out a totally lame reason when Emily asked why. "The paparazzi will just annoy the crap out of you." She stated matter-of-factly, since she was almost certain that her trip to New York with Effy would be stirring up some news, and she wouldn't be surprised if she made it to the headlines again the next day.
Emily, on the other hand, was torn on what to feel exactly, whether she should be thankful or disappointed for the entire thing, because as much as she wanted to see Naomi before she had to leave for a week, she didn't want to see Effy's sickening smirk that she was pretty much sure Effy would be wearing the whole time, for known and unknown reasons.
In the end, she settled for the mixture of both, and it was just enough to stop her from crying or tossing up altogether, since both of those feelings were nauseating when taken unreservedly anyway.
***
"Character." Emily tapped her pen impatiently against her desk, shifting forwards a little as her open palm caught her chin, while she leaned her elbow on top of the wooden surface. "I need a character." Taking the quietness of the house and her temporary alone time as an opportunity, she decided to work on her novel which appeared to have been untouched for ages, what with the whirlwind of things that came around.
She slammed the pen after a few beats of uttermost brainstorming, and flumped on the swivel chair wearily, her back hitting the rest with a dull thud that bounced around the whole house. She kicked the floor, sending the chair into a short spin, and when her eyes caught a certain photo frame standing at the corner of her desk, an idea flicked inside her head and she felt like kicking herself for not thinking about it before. She drew her heel down, bringing the spinning chair into a complete stop, and grabbed the edge of her desk as she pulled herself closer once again, the pen meeting the paper immediately as she scribbled down quickly, more like excitedly actually. "Name:" She mouthed while writing. "Naomi." She finished with a period and a light giggle, proceeding to write the next line. "Career: Super Model." Another line. "She's kind of tall, and her face is, is--" She paused and tilted her head slightly, choosing whether to write 'pretty' or 'gorgeous' or 'beautiful' or maybe all of those, though it would make her look like a creepy and obsessed fan girl in some way.
'Stunning' was what she settled for; believed that it was the word she was exactly looking for.
"Personality:" She murmured, giggling at once as she remembered some of the most hilarious things Naomi had done, though before they weren't even funny at all, mostly infuriating actually, but now that she had looked back at them, she couldn't help a smile from coming out. "She has mood swings that change almost every bloody minute." A 'tsk' sound escaped from her lips while crossing out the misspelled word she had accidentally made. "She seems to have a certain disorder or something." She laughed softly as she recalled how pissed off Naomi could easily be of things, like that time when Naomi was teaching her to ride a bike back when they were in Barcelona, and her wide grin turned into a soft smile as she chanced another glance towards the framed picture again, her eyes settling on the 'accidental kiss' that probably marked the beginning of the huge and somewhat maddening changes she had been into during the past months.
She stared at the picture probably longer than she had been meaning to, and tore her gaze away in haste when she seemed to have snapped out of it, to focus on what she was writing instead, because the longer she looked, the more she missed Naomi. "She's not naturally sweet, but when she's trying to be, she's probably the sweetest person around." She smiled as she scrawled down continuously, remembering the little things that Naomi had done for her, as well as the grand gestures that she absolutely had no words for.
After a few minutes of aimless doodling, wherein Emily had managed to draw a pair of eyes somewhere along the blank space of her notes, sighing at the sight of the drawing once she realized what she had actually done (because, well, it didn't really provide any help regarding the how to not miss your girlfriend so much aspect of things), she moved onto the next bit of the character profile she was making, which wasn't of any help either since it was all about Naomi. Though looking at the bright side of things, she rather enjoyed writing it.
The final part went this way:
Family: A mum, a chauffeur and a brilliant girlfriend named Emily.
Right next to the period was a small heart she doodled absentmindedly.
***
JJ came over at dinner, with a take out of Chinese food in one hand, a pizza box in the other and a small bag slung in his shoulder, much to Emily's surprise, and his first words were "Naomi told me to sleep with you for the whole week so I'm gonna be staying here for a while." And when her eyes widened at his words, which somehow made JJ realize the probable meanings of what he said, he began to shake his head a bit too animatedly, along with his hands that the soda he had brought with him were spilling out of their cups, and he began stuttering unremittingly. "No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it that way. I mean I'd sleep here but not in the same room with you or even in the same bed with you because Naomi would kill me if that ever happens."
It was then when she had started to laugh that JJ finally stopped rambling, scrunching his face first for about a beat, out of embarrassment, before smiling at her sheepishly. "She said she'd beat the life out of me if I don't give you a good company."
"Don't worry, I won't tell her if you didn't."
***
"Fuck's sake. You've been listening to the same song for hours now." Effy exclaimed with a light banter; tossed her bag of toiletries at her own bed.
"Get your own bloody room if you don't want to hear it." Naomi answered, half heartedly rolling her eyes at Effy, and turned the volume of her laptop much higher than it already was.
"You never listen to those kinds of songs." Effy stood upright, twisting around to chance a look at Naomi who was seated at the middle of her own bed. "You were always the 'I don't give a crap about music' type."
"Yeah, well." Naomi paused; smoothed the tiny crumple she saw on one of the tops that Emily had folded, her hand recoiling in an instant when she realized what she was doing, and she suddenly felt like she was turning into some kind of OCD or something. "It's a nice song." She answered casually.
Katie emerged from the doorway of their three-bedded hotel room, with shoe boxes clutched in hand, and made an exaggerated 'pffft' noise as she strutted towards her own bed down at the far left corner of the room where her huge pink suitcase was lying. "Nice?" She flumped down while the soft mattress sunk in with her weight. "It's fucking cheesy. God, even the title's like--I don't even know what to call it."
"You don't even know what the title is." Naomi retorted as she rolled over the bed, which was placed in between Effy's and Katie's, both with a considerable amount of distance away from her, and reached forth to her nightstand to place her mobile down securely, right next to the lamp. "And, just because it doesn't sound Lady Gaga-ish doesn't mean that it isn't a nice song."
Katie snorted a protest, face cringing so tight while she listened to the song's lyrics for the first time ever since it started playing, and she grinned at Naomi not long after, one that had 'I know why you're listening to it' in context, and it was fucking written all over her face that Naomi had a sudden inkling to reach out and wipe it off. "You're missing Emily already." She stated rather firmly, and conjured an 'awww' sound from out of nowhere while laughing at the surprised and somewhat busted look that abruptly took over Naomi's face.
"What?" Naomi blurted out, but only after a few beats of blushing in silence. "No I'm not." She shook her head animatedly that it only caused Katie's stupid grin to grow wider and spread almost at the whole length of Katie's face.
"Right."
She stooped and clicked on next, ignoring Katie altogether as she reverted back to her previous comfortable position, the strummed music filling the air a second after.
"Oh, Incubus. Classy." Katie snorted laughter and if she just wasn't fucking pregnant, Naomi could've throttled her or something. "I miss you, right?"
Naomi ran a palm along her face because she could actually hear what Katie was implying in her tone, mumbling "Another nice song." so unconvincingly that Katie just ended up grinning again.
Katie breathed out an exaggerated sigh; tipped her head up. "It's been what? One day? God, how would you last one week?"
Naomi pressed her lips together, fixing her eyes at the screen of her laptop instead with a small frown. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Right." A shrug rolled out of Katie's shoulders as she stood up to go to the bathroom, a devious plan abruptly popping in her head. "Emily's calling." She grinned widely upon hearing the sudden rustling of the covers, laughing altogether when she heard Naomi shouting her name not long after, in a rather aggravated tone, because, well, Naomi had seemed to forget the fact that mobile phones should actually be ringing first when someone was calling, and that was just because she had mentioned her sister's name.
She caught a glimpse of Effy smoking by the living room window while on her way, and she wondered for a second how Effy had managed to slip out of the room without being noticed at all, though upon seeing the huge scowl on Effy's face, she couldn't help the smile that broke forth her lips, patting herself on the back for a job well done.
***
Naomi didn't call for two days.
Emily received a short e-mail instead, about mid-day in Bristol and early morning in New York (there was a five-hour distance), and it said that the rehearsals at the studio had been cancelled because of the heavy rain and traveling became highly impossible, which left Naomi, Effy, and Katie all locked up in their hotel room since they weren't allowed to leave.
The only solution they found to cure their boredom: Twitter.
***
Emily stared blankly at the screen for a while, reading the words we're all Twitter buddies now over and over, because she just couldn't decipher the meaning of it, of what the hell was Naomi actually referring to. She blinked a few times, mouthing word per word haltingly, until she just gave up thinking altogether and turned around to ask JJ, who was busy fiddling with the game pad of Naomi's Xbox 360, his tongue darting out from time to time merely out of concentration towards whatever he was playing. "JJ." She softly called out, repeating it two more times when JJ seemed to have not heard her.
The sounds coming from the tv abruptly ceased. "Yes Emily?"
She threw him a quizzical look. "What is Twitter?"
JJ tilted his head, lips curling to the side. "It's a free social networking site. Like a micro-blogging thing."
"What?"
"It's basically like sending a text message but just through the internet. It kind of works the same way as mobile phones do."
"Oh, right." She nodded lightly in answer, though still puzzled, and returned her attention back to the screen, searching for Twitter in an instant when her browser popped out. She was staring at it oddly again, once the page had been successfully loaded, and it had to take JJ's patient tutoring for her to actually learn how to navigate around the site.
After typing Naomi's username, apparently NaiCampbell was it, the screen was bombarded with several messages that JJ called 'tweets', if she heard him right. Some of them were answering fans' questions, some just random blurbs like how Naomi was telling everybody that it was the real her, and that it had been confirmed at Naomi's website already, in which Emily didn't even know existed, and certain stuff like those.
She scrolled down further and found a certain tweet which made her roar with laughter, that JJ had to get off the couch and check up on her. "Read." She muttered in between laughs, pointing at the screen.
"People, please add KatieIsFit and tweet her loads so she can stop ravaging around the fridge and eating all our food." JJ mouthed, grinning widely as soon as he finished reading. "Looks like Katie's got one too."
"Yeah, I think." Emily clicked on Katie's name, and the stuff written on Katie's bio and her tweets made her laugh even more. "Head Bitch in Charge. Creative."
***
A few minutes of struggling and Emily had finally gotten the hang of Twitter, navigating around the site without needing JJ to instruct her anymore. She was reading through the messages, refreshing the page from time to time to check if there were new ones coming along, and she couldn't help but find Naomi and Katie's tweet war a little bit adorable, wondering how the two of them had gotten along, or at least had gotten civil with each other if not fully, in such little time when they used to hate each other's guts before.
Katie's messages kept on talking about how Naomi was playing the same set of songs ever since they had arrived and how she wished that Naomi would change it into something upbeat and more lively, into which Naomi replied with a 'I'll have people move your bed to the kitchen if you don't like them. Right next to the fridge since you're pretty much eating the whole day.'
"They're bloody hilarious." JJ blurted out, making Emily jump a little since she didn't notice him creeping up by her side. "Sorry."
Emily smiled in return. "Yeah, they are." She murmured and a small laugh followed not long after when the next tweet came along, which had gone by these lines: 'Katie's being all hormonal again, and she's moping around, missing her boyfriend. Ewww.'
"Check out Katie's reply."
Emily moved the mouse and clicked at Katie's username, her 'you've got thousands of followers so tweet more sensible stuff coz you're boring them to tears' of a reply screaming at black, bold letters, and Emily effortlessly joined JJ's chuckles, just because.
Naomi's reply: 'hormonal preggo. Haha'.
"I've got a feeling that this is going to last the whole day."
***
Not all tweets were funny, Emily had realized it just now.
She and JJ exchanged glances upon reading a tweet that said 'if Katie's annoying you that much, come sit at my bed', which came from a user named EffStonem, with a 'good idea, moving now' as a reply coming from Naomi, and Emily could feel her hands stiffening right on the spot, because what followed next (after a few minutes of just staring blankly at the screen while the page was flooded with tweets of Effy and Naomi's banter/ flirting, or whatever) was an uploaded picture of them both, with Effy not facing the camera because she was planting a fucking kiss at Naomi's cheek, and Naomi was just, just smiling in there and not doing anything about it. She felt like her head was going to implode at some point as she continued to stare at the image, and she couldn't bring herself to actually close it, like all her strength suddenly went down the drain, albeit having no idea why.
"Emily, are you alright?" JJ worriedly asked upon noticing that she hadn't even let out a single blink. "Hey, it's just a friendly kiss. I'm sure."
Seconds passed. "Yeah, yeah." She forced out a smile. "I'm just being silly, don't mind me."
It wasn't the picture that hit a nerve though, it were the offhand messages that came right after it, when people had started asking if they were dating and stuff, Naomi's answer going by the lines of 'nope, just best mates. We do that all the time', which made Emily's heart constrict tight while the last few words rung in her ears over and over.
All the time.
Effy's answer: 'Yep, just best mates, I love her though :P', made her want to close her eyes and never open them again, just so she wouldn't see Naomi's reply, which, she was almost entirely sure would be an 'I love you too'.
And it turned out exactly as what she had just expected.
"It's just friendly banter Emily." JJ tried to comfort. "I'm sure."
She swallowed hard because she was finding it hard to breath, her resolve slipping slowly from her fingers like sand, and it was pathetic in some sense since they were said over the internet, where words like those could actually mean anything, but it felt so close to the real thing, well, at least for her, so close that it was nearly making her cry, her tears on the very verge of falling. "Yeah, they're just probably kidding around." She barely whispered, her voice cracking in the process.
JJ wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it's nothing. I'm positive." He consoled, somehow having an idea of what this was all about since he wasn't that daft when it came to these things, contrary to what most people thought about him. He wasn't an expert, but he did know how to put things together and make a conclusion out of it.
***
Emily was nearly giving up on technology, particularly Twitter, since it was more of a headache for her than an entertainment, to be honest, and the reactions of the thousands of followers, in which she labeled as the 'rest of the world', wasn't helping one bit to what she was feeling, because words such as OMG you and Effy look so good together *squee*, and I wish you two were dating, and the likes weren't offering any solace to her already faltering resolve as well as her growing insecurities, and it was just so dejecting sometimes that Emily felt like she'd rather spend a whole day with Cook whom she despised the most, than read messages that constantly remind her of things she didn't want to be reminded of, as if it was being drilled to her head so she wouldn't forget.
She read the next tweet, the last one she promised herself to be reading, since keeping track of it for almost half of the day was enough torture already, and it took her all the effort not to jump and run around in circles just because she was mentioned in it, one thing she had never expected to happen.
Naomi's message had gone this way:
'Phone signal's finally back! Gotta go and call Emily. It's been ages. :)'
And it was in Katie's reply (something that said: 'She's been waiting all day. What kind of girlfriend are you?') that she noticed the change in Naomi's name, from NaiCampbell to NaiNaiCampbell, and she had to grip the arm rest tight just to keep herself on hold and stop her arms from flailing around like mad. Oddly because it felt like she was being introduced to the world in some way, of what her stand was, and she couldn't help the unexplainable, overwhelming feeling rising above her chest, just because.
'I know. That's why I'm calling her now.' quickly appeared when she refreshed the page, and in a matter of seconds, her mobile phone was ringing at the far corner of her desk. She grabbed it in such haste that she nearly dropped it, fumbling with the mobile for a little bit before she was finally able to press the green button and answer the call. She heard Naomi's voice on the other line, and it was by far the biggest relief she had ever got in the past few days.
It was funny how a little thing or two could turn everything else huge around.
***
For a short moment, Katie had seen why Naomi seemed to be so enthralled with Effy.
They were in the middle of a taped interview, one which will be aired sometime in the same week, seated altogether in a couch with Naomi wedged between her and Effy. Effy tilted her head slightly at some part of it, as if bracing herself for the question to be thrown her way, and smiled so genuinely that Katie had forgotten momentarily why she hated Effy so much. There was something in the way that Effy smiled, like, really smile and not smirk, something unexplainable and she somehow understood the reason why Effy seemed to be so captivating sometimes.
A quirk of the eyebrow and a meaningful look thrown towards Naomi's direction, and Katie's opinion changed in an instant.
***
Exactly one week after Naomi left, the interview was aired.
Emily turned the telly on, eyes heavily lidded because it was past three in the morning for sodding out loud, and she was cursing the network for opting to show Naomi's interview at around ten in the evening, New York time. She flumped down the couch and turned the recorder on, just in case she would fall asleep in the middle of the whole thing, because she could actually feel the drowsiness almost taking over, and if not for the will to stay up and catch a glimpse of Naomi, she would have given up by now, because, well, she hadn't seen her for one fucking week, and it never crossed her mind that it would actually be that hard.
The opening credits of the show made her jump, her half closed eyes opening widely as she heard Naomi, Katie and Effy being introduced, and it was keeping her awake already, not because of excitement but of something else entirely different.
The questions were being juggled between them three and every time the camera zoomed in, showing Effy and Naomi on the screen, her heart would constrict on the spot, because they looked so damn good together that it felt so dejecting in some way, and suddenly, she wasn't sure if she could even stand watching the rest of it anymore.
She had thought that Twitter was going to be the worst possible thing, but apparently, she was wrong.
It was the flirting touches and the longing looks she could see right on the screen, ones that Effy would often initiate and Naomi would reciprocate in some way, that was doing her head in, along with the comments she had read earlier, and it hit her full force, the realization of how disproportioned their relationship was, and how she seemed to be lacking a lot of things.
She used to not care about what others say, but after having a large number of people telling Naomi that she was not worthy of Naomi's attention, and that it was Effy who Naomi should be with instead, it became hard to ignore these things, because they were just so blatant and straightforwardly thrown, scarring her deeply like daggers, and she wasn't sure anymore if she'd be able to handle the things that came with Naomi's fame.
It was all suddenly sinking in to her, how their relationship was lying at the tip of a pinnacle, and the more she made an effort to keep them balanced, the more they topple over.
***
Normally, people would look forward to coming home, but with Naomi, it wasn't the case, well it was, until she actually got home.
She hauled her suitcase inside, leaving it by the doorway as soon as she caught a glimpse of Emily's upright figure stood by the glass window, one which was facing the beach's direction, and she walked with an extra bounce in her steps, almost legged their distance actually just so she could reach Emily as soon as she could, butterflies fluttering inside her stomach as she took each step.
But she stopped mid-way when Emily quickly turned around, her face looking all pained, like she was going to cry or toss up or something, and for a moment she was torn between running to her and asking her what was wrong, or staying right on her place because there was something off with Emily's expression that was a little bit frightening in some way, though what scared her most was that certain fiery glint dancing in Emily's eyes, for known and unknown reasons, and she could feel her heart beating wildly beneath her chest, just because. "Hey." She greeted, rather warily.
"Hey." Emily forced out a smile, and it came out so strained that it actually looked like a lopsided frown to Naomi. "Didn't know you were coming home today."
"Yeah, about that." Naomi lifted her hand, fingers scratching along the back of her neck.
"Why didn't you call?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise." Naomi answered with a half smile as she closed the space between her and Emily, arms instantaneously finding Emily's waist, circling around with ease, like it was the most natural thing to do.
"Oh, right."
A small scowl formed along the creases of Naomi's forehead. "You alright?"
Emily pressed her lips together and just stared at Naomi with an indecipherable look in her face, her gaze lingering for a good while. "It's nothing." She brushed off; turned her head to the side. "Just, don't mind me."
"Emily."
"I said don't mind me." She unknotted Naomi's arms, dropping them forcefully to both her sides as she pushed past Naomi, walking away from her before she could even say or do something stupid, worse, hurtful. But Naomi was too quick for her, grabbing her by the wrist before she could completely disappear from Naomi's sight.
"What the--" Naomi exclaimed as she turned Emily around to face her. "What the hell is wrong?"
"I said it's nothing."
"I'm not stupid Emily. I know when something's up."
Emily's eyes turned into a dangerous squint, the color of her whole face slowly turning into a deep shade of red. "Are you completely unaware that Effy flirts with you, or do you just enjoy it so much?" She snapped, out of nowhere, and it caught Naomi entirely off guard that she dropped Emily's hand in an instant, like Emily's skin was suddenly burning hers.
"What?" Naomi exclaimed as she struggled to keep a straight face, though her clenched jaw pretty much indicated her already agitated state, because, really, she was feeling extremely knackered and was slightly expecting a warm welcome, but she came home with a hostile one instead. "Jesus Christ Emily, I just came home yeah? Don't start."
"Why not?" Emily spat back, almost too harshly, a tone she had never used before. "Because it's true? That you're actually enjoying it?" She could feel her whole body shaking, the bottled up emotions starting to spill, bit by bit.
"Fuck's sake."
"See, you--"
"I said don't fucking start." Naomi shrieked out loud, making Emily flinch, and she could feel a pang of guilt rushing all over her for shouting upon seeing the way Emily's face faltered, that for a moment Emily looked like she was under such excruciating pain and somehow Naomi thought that she was going to cry, though Emily's face hardened in an instant before she could even utter another word.
Emily was fuming from where she was stood but decided to drop things for the betterment of it, and she turned to leave, this time heading to the front door and not the staircase.
"So now what? You're going to leave after having a go at me? Just like that?"
"We're both not in the mood to talk about it." Emily answered in a heavy tone without looking back.
Naomi snorted out frustration; rolled her eyes as she propped her arms against both of her hips. "Talk about what?" She dislodged one hand, letting its fingers run along the length of her temple and forehead, then sliding them down to pinch the bridge of her nose, her whole body almost shaking with weariness and agitation. "I don't even know what your problem is. Why you're acting like this." She watched as Emily's squared shoulders slump down, trembling a little bit, although she could see the fight that Emily was putting for the shaking to stop. She took a tentative step forwards, bringing her closer to Emily, yet still with a fair distance away, just in case something would happen, but not like she was actually expecting something to occur, because, really, she had just arrived and could really use a good rest, and a fucking kiss she'd been craving the whole week, though she was in denial of it. "Emily, will you--will you just tell me what the fuck is this all about?"
Emily closed her eyes and blinked a few more times, feeling the stream of tears threatening to fall, and she had to swallow hard to push them aside, because she knew she shouldn't cry, because crying somehow meant defeat, meant conceding, and she just about lost almost every battle she had gone into by shedding tears.
"Emily." Naomi called out, again, in a rather impatient manner."Is this about--"
"It's about everything." Emily interjected, breaking Naomi off, and she spun around in haste, her eyes already brimming with tears but the look on her face was saying otherwise. "About you. About me. About us. About Effy." She huffed out, punctuating each phrase with a sharp breath. "Everything."
Naomi blew out an exasperated breath as she ran a palm along her whole face, neck tipping back, her temper slowly slipping from her hold. "What's wrong with us? Because as far as I can remember, we were okay before I left."
"Yeah." Emily answered sternly. "But that was until you created that fucking Twitter account and--"
"That was for marketing and promotional purposes for Christ's sake!"
"Were the pictures for promotion purposes as well?"
Emily's tone was so accusing that it surprised Naomi entirely, and for a moment she wondered where all of these things were coming from, until it suddenly hit her, how big of a deal this was, not just some petty, random fight that Emily was trying to start, because in the first place, Emily was never the one to start a fight between them. "What the fuck?" She pushed the words out through gritted teeth. "We were just messing around because we were bored. The fuck are we supposed to do?"
"Right." Emily snorted. "Messing around."
"Why are you even making a big deal out of it?" Naomi snapped back, her patience reaching the end of its thread.
"What?" Emily hissed. "I'm not."
"Then what are you doing?"
"I am asking you, if you were really unaware of it, or you're just that daft to notice."
"Notice what?" Naomi's voice rose up a notch, the shrill sound bouncing on all the corners of the house.
"That Effy is flirting with you and you are enjoying it!"
There was a minute of silence that fell between the two of them, as the tension grew stronger, and Emily's hand crawled up to her lips, covering them upon realizing what had just came out. She never meant to say it in that manner, would actually opt to resolving things calmly, but everything just became too much and she was as confused as ever, could feel like she was hanging by a thread and that she was bound to fall into a cliff the moment Naomi would let go. Then, suddenly, it wasn't a matter of if Naomi would let go anymore, but rather, when.
Naomi's jaw slackened, hanging loosely, as she was completely taken aback of Emily's unexpected outburst, but it didn't last long before her brows lined up into one straight line, her eyes squinting dangerously. "Christ, you're unbelievable. Where do you even get those ideas?"
"It's fucking everywhere." Emily's fingers curled and uncurled into tight fists as she spoke. "The tweets, the pictures, the interview! Jesus Naomi, I'm not blind yeah?"
A hand soared from Naomi's side, pinching the bridge of her nose as her teeth grinded against each other. "I told you already Emily, we do this all the fucking time. Why are you even that bothered?"
"Because I don't like it okay?" Emily exclaimed, almost standing at her toes. "I don't fucking like it."
Naomi snorted disbelief. "And what do you want me to do? Back off? Stay away from her? She's my best friend Emily. She's been in my life longer than you have been. I can't just drop her like that!"
Emily didn't speak for about a beat as Naomi's words reverberated inside her ears, and Naomi took the silence as a sign to continue.
"You know, I don't even know why we're fighting about this. I don't even know what you're so mad about. If it's that damn fucking Twitter, I'll take it down if you like if it's that of a huge deal for you." She retorted before spinning around on her heels to head upstairs.
Emily slumped dejectedly against the front wooden door as she watched Naomi slowly disappear from her sight, the slamming of the door being the last thing that she heard before everything became awfully quiet.
***
It was late in the evening when she decided to watch and actually finish the interview, since Naomi didn't come down for dinner and she already had enough of the silence looming inside the house. Even the stale tension could still be tasted and breathed in the air.
She turned the telly on and hit play, though fast forwarding through the first few bits she had already seen, and as she hit the play button again, she braced herself for whatever scene was coming her way, may it be terrifying or heartbreaking or something else unexpected.
The interviewer's voice rang through the whole living room. "What do you least enjoy about being popular aside from the lack of privacy?"
The question was directed to Naomi, and Emily felt like her heart was being squeezed tight when the camera zoomed in to show a clearer view. "Uhm, let's see." Naomi started, pausing for a little while, probably to think of a decent answer to give out. "It's when everybody treats me a little bit extra special than the others, although I'm not complaining about it. I just hate it when it's too much, and then everything I do becomes a big deal, even the littlest things. It's just that, I think, at the end of the day, I'm still an ordinary person with the same needs as the rest. You know?"
"Yeah, I get what you mean."
"I'm just thankful that Emily's there. She keeps me sane." Naomi added, and it was followed by a little laugh that somehow sounded sheepish into Emily's ears. And she heard Katie's voice in the background. "God, you're blushing." which earned a playful nudge to Katie and an off-hand comment to the interviewer, "She's gonna be teasing me for the rest of my life."
The next question and Naomi's answer to it was what shocked her more.
"What's your new hobby?"
"Uhm, kissing Emily?" Naomi laughed loudly along with the interviewer, before following it with a "No, really. It's--I'm back to playing the piano again after stopping for ages."
The rest of the words went distinctly faint as Emily quickly heaved herself up from the couch, suddenly feeling a little bit guilty and stupid for the most part, for picking up a fight with Naomi when apparently, she had better reasons as to why not to.
***
"Shit." She cursed under her breath as she raised her fist to knock on the door, dropping it down immediately, because it was a little bit awkward and weird to knock at your own room. She took a deep breath instead, and twisted the handle gently, her hand shaking as she pushed the door ajar, leaving just enough space to pop her head in and take a look around. She could see Naomi lying in the middle of the bed from where she was standing, an arm draped along Naomi's head while the other was laid down, fingers crumpling the sheets. She could guess that Naomi was still fuming mad by the scowl still evident on her face, and it was enough to send her cowering with fear, her words of apology bundled up in her mouth in the end.
Naomi shifted on the bed, rolling onto her side to face away from Emily, and it just about told Emily that Naomi was awake, and still fuming. She decided to push through with her apology, since she had no any other choice anyway, slipping quietly inside the room, her movements light but slow, and rather deliberate.
"Nai." She softly called out as she walked to the edge of the bed, the side where Naomi was faced, squatting down in front of her, and she had to clench her fists tight to stop herself from reaching out and smoothing the scowl prominently invading Naomi's beautiful face.
"I don't want to talk to you." Naomi answered sternly, with closed eyes, though she didn't move from her position which pretty much made Emily sigh a small breath of relief. "Go away."
"I'm sorry." She murmured. "I was stupid. I shouldn't have had a go on you."
"I said I don't wanna talk."
Emily took a deep breath. "Okay." She whispered before leaning forwards to reach up and plant a soft, chaste kiss at Naomi's lips, and she could feel them twitching under her own but decided not to say anything regarding it, so as to not send Naomi's temper off escalating to a higher degree.
She was on her way out, after she decided to spend the night at her old room to give Naomi some space, when she felt a couple of fingers encircling around her wrist, tugging on her hand, and before she knew it, a pair of lips were invading hers, almost too hungrily, too harshly. She knew Naomi was still angry at her somehow, could tell it by the way Naomi was kissing her, and she could taste the rusty flavour of blood at the tip of her tongue because Naomi bit on her bottom lip too hard.
But she was taking it all, the harshness, the callousness and everything, even though it felt like physical punches thrown her way, blow by blow, the way Naomi's nails were digging into her skin, that she was sure would leave marks and dents right after this.
Her back hit the bed with a loud thud as Naomi pushed her down, no, shoved her down forcefully, Naomi's wandering hands almost everywhere at once, under her shirt, running along her sides, or probably she was just feeling her everywhere. A sound of cloth being ripped apart filled her ears and she found herself half naked in a matter of seconds, her bra soaring up high and the only thing she could do was watch it fly across the room.
In an instant, Naomi's lips were on her already hardened buds, licking and nipping and sucking alternately, the edge of Naomi's front teeth grazing against the skin, and she breathed out a sharp gasp, because Naomi was biting too hard, but didn't say anything about it, feeling like she deserved how she was being treated, in some way.
But then, eventually, everything became too much, because all the gentleness was gone, and all that was left was this hungry, careless creature hovering above her. It was far so different from the numerous times they made love, she didn't even know if she could still call it the same, because it felt like just random, plain fucking in some sense, like how one night stands and quick fucks probably felt like: rough, hurried, callous.
She didn't know when exactly she started crying; only realized it when Naomi stopped moving above her, feeling the pads of Naomi's thumb brush along her already wet cheeks, and when she opened her eyes, the first thing her gaze met was Naomi's blue orbs, the hunger in them gone, replaced by a certain glint that Emily could only hope for as affection. "Nai-Nai." She murmured between silent sobs. "I'm sorry."
Naomi didn't speak, dipped her head down instead to dry Emily's fallen tears away with her lips, kissing each trail so tenderly that it made Emily somehow forget everything going on in her mind, momentarily effacing the fear that she had, and it was enough to send her crying again, for no definite reason at all, except for the overwhelming feeling of things, which was all too much for her to bear.
"You're such a dweeb sometimes, you know." Naomi finally spoke, her lips twitching up into a half smile.
"I'm sorry." Emily murmured again, hands snaking around Naomi's neck.
"Save it for later." Naomi replied, dipping her head in once again to capture Emily's lips, kissing her with such earnestness and Emily could easily distinguish the huge difference from Naomi's earlier kisses.
Emily kissed back, feverishly but as tenderly, despite her swollen, bleeding lips, sighing Naomi's name every time she could, her fingers finding Naomi's already bare back, gliding along the whole length of it while her nails grazed against the smooth skin.
Their movements trickled off from an alarming pace into a slow, tender one, just like the way making love was supposed to be.
***
When everything was all over, and Emily was lying on top of Naomi's naked, sleeping form, with Naomi's light snores filling up the room, she pressed a kiss at the space right above Naomi's chest, basking on the feeling of Naomi's heart beating underneath her lips, and whispered "Don't ever leave me." ever so softly before pressing her ear against it, just because the sound of Naomi's heart was the most beautiful lullaby she knew she would ever hear.
As she was slowly drifting to sleep, she felt Naomi's hold on her tighten, almost squeezing, and she couldn't help the smile that broke forth her lips, because it felt like a comforting answer in some way, and it was enough to make her feel secure for the coming days.