Title: Killing Loneliness
Pairings: ItaNaru SasuSai
Warnings: Let's see…we have yaoi and vampires and blood play oh my! Plus some probable OOCness…it just happens okay…oh and some swearing, yep definitely swearing. And cutting though it is very minimal.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I claim to own them. So please draw some more yaoi fanservice Kishimoto. That one SasuSai panel was not enough.
A/N:
Ruki: I can't believe I actually wrote this….damn.
Shadows: Damn is right.
Twi: (shakes head) We can't believe we wrote Akatsuki Randomness but you guys don't act like this.
Shadows: That's because it's so damn good.
Ruki: (nods)
Twi: Well, anyways enjoy the chapter that Ruki considers her best work at this point in time.
Chapter IVMemories That Haunt
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Leave Out All The Rest, by Linkin Park
The blizzard had passed and had left everything covered in pure white snow that glistened in the sunlight. It looked so beautiful and clean. And yet it would melt and be tainted by the dirt and mud that lay underneath it. Could this situation I was in be the same as the snow outside the window? It wouldn't surprise me if it were. The kindness I had received from the vampire could just be hiding a hateful and bloodthirsty nature. This could all just be a trick.
My hand reached up and rubbed the mark that was now partially hidden by the black oversized shirt Sai had found for me to wear, along with a pair of black lounge pants. I continued to stare out the floor-to-ceiling windows I had discovered behind the drapes from one of the armchairs set near them. Sai sat across from me in the matching armchair, that obviously fake smile still plastered on his face.
"Sai…" It was too quiet and Kyuubi had hidden himself somewhere in the recesses of my mind.
"Yes?" I could hear that damned smile of his in his voice.
"Are you a vampire too?" My eyes flickered to his face briefly before returning to the window.
"No, I'm Sasuke's kataho."
"Kataho?" I shot him a curious look.
"A vampire's kataho is the one person a vampire is fated to love," Sai explained. "At least that is the definition. A kataho is much more than that, though. A kataho is a vampire's other half; they in fact complete the vampire. They also have the power to destroy a vampire." Sai's voice grew sad and I was shocked by the real emotion I heard. "If a kataho refuses the vampire's eternal bond, the vampire will lose his heart and all that is left is a quick descent into madness followed by a mercy kill from one of the vampire lords. But even if they do become eternally bonded they can still destroy the vampire. The hearts are connected and if one dies so does the other."
"But a human has such a short lifespan in comparison with the vampire." I pointed out. "Making that bond would give the vampire a certain death sentence."
I saw Sai shake his head no. "When the bond is made the human gains the vampire's lifespan. They basically become a human with an eternal lifespan. Many gain some vampiric powers as well to help protect themselves. Also the connection between the two alerts the vampire when his kataho is in danger and believe me, hardly anything can stop a vampire from protecting his kataho."
Sai fell silent after that. I simply continued to stare out the window. The perfect, undisturbed show was calming to me. Yet, the snow was no longer undisturbed. Two blobs were walking through the snow towards the mansion. I stood up and pressed myself against the window trying to see what the two blobs were. They became two humanoid figures as they swiftly walked through the knee-high layer of snow. The figure in front became a raven-haired man who looked to be only in his thirties. His hair was made up of long, ebony spikes that seemed to be under gravity's strain and fell limply to rest on the man's shoulders and back. His face was almost as pale white as the snow.
"Does Itachi have an older brother?"
I felt Sai come to stand next to me so he could see what I was looking at through the window. He might've answered my question but I didn't hear him. All I could do was focus on the second figure. He had shoulder-length blonde, spiky hair that framed his tan face. Sitting in that face were two crystal-blue eyes that I saw everyday in the mirror. It was the man I was always chasing in my dreams, the man I hadn't seen in fifteen years.
"Tou-san…" It was barely a whisper but that word felt so strange coming from my mouth; like it was someone else who said it. Soon my father and the other man had neared the mansion, and my father looked up, suddenly staring straight up at me. A look of shock passed his face and he stopped dead in his tracks. My heart panged with a feeling of rejection, and I wanted to move away from the window but my legs wouldn't let me. His face suddenly softened and a relieved smile appeared bringing a feeling of warmth to my heart. Tou-san was happy to see me!
The man with my father must have called his name for his head suddenly turned to look at him. He resumed walking toward the mansion but as he turned his head slightly to look back at me I could see fear in his eyes. That man with Tou-san was dangerous. Now that the raven-haired man was closer I could feel his unmistakably evil aura engulfing the mansion, making chills run down my spine. But I knew deep in my heart that I would risk coming in contact with that man if I could finally see my father again.
"Sai, I need you to take me to see that blonde-haired man," I turned to him preparing to beg if he refused. "I have to talk to him. Besides Itachi told you to show me around, didn't he?"
Sai thought for a minute, clearly debating the situation in his head, before giving me his answer. "Okay, but you'll have to do exactly as I say. The man he is with, Madara, is not someone Itachi-sama would want you to come in close proximity to."
I nodded and followed him out of the room. I had to talk to Tou-san no matter what happened, even if I did run into that man named Madara. I had to stop the memory of him leaving me from haunting my dreams.
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The memory of those October days would always haunt me. And I no longer had the easy escape of death to get rid of them anymore. This was the life I had chosen and I could not regret the choices I had made. If I hadn't made those choices, he would have never lived. He would never have known the joy of life. He would have never left a mark on this world.
He would have never truly existed.
Fragments of that first October day invaded my mind's eye. The remembered smell of harsh antiseptic and coppery-metallic blood blending together recreated itself as if I were actually smelling it. The bright, blinding lights focused on one point, crowded by doctors and nurses. The deafening silence of the monitor rose above the murmurs of the medical personnel. The head doctor turned to me with sorrow clearly evident in his eyes. I felt my heart dying. But hadn't it just died a few minutes ago when another one of these doctors, these healers, had pronounced Kushina dead?
"I'm sorry sir." His voice was so cold, cold as the feeling of death that seemed to permeate this room. "Your son was stillborn. We tried everything we could to make him live but it's been too long."
I wanted to cry, to outwardly mourn for my only son who had been denied the breath of life. But all my tears had been used to mourn Kushina. There were none left.
I walked over to the unmoving newborn, all the medical personnel leaving the room except for a solitary nurse. The newborn's skin was so pale, not flushed red with life like it should be. The deafening silence of the room pushed my mind to its breaking point. As the nurse briefly left the room I reached my hand out to gently caress the tiny, cold face before me. As my fingers touched the cold skin, the room froze – literally, not figuratively, literally. The humming of the lights stopped abruptly as did the nurse who was walking back into the room. A chill crept up my spine and my eyes looked up to find cold crimson ones.
"Do you want him to live?"
A simple question. A simple answer.
"Yes."
"I can make him live but you have to agree with my terms."
"Yes, do it." Did I truly believe this strange man was real and could bring my son to life? No. Did I want to believe him? Yes, with all that was left of my dead heart and my sanity.
"You haven't heard my terms yet and you're already agreeing?" I could feel the man's cold smirk without even seeing it.
"Yes. I don't care what I have to do as long as he gets to live." It was true; I didn't care. All that mattered was that he lived.
"Fine, I'll take that as you agreeing and bring this one to life."
The man's mouth twisted into a terrifying thing that I assumed was supposed to be a smile. He pulled out a fiery red-orange orb from the depths of the shadowy fabric that cloaked his body from my sight. It floated over his palm, and I briefly thought I saw a glimpse of a fox in it before it shot out of his hand and delved into my son's body, through the skin of his stomach. A strange seal appeared on his small belly around the remains of the umbilical cord that would eventually become his navel. His skin started to gain color, spreading from the seal. And then…he started breathing.
"You are my servant for the next one-hundred years or until the fox demon comes out of you son. However I'll let you spend the first four years with him since I am not that evil." He disappeared as if he had never been there.
The room unfroze and the previously silent monitor started beeping. That was a wonderful noise. The scream from the nurse was not. It was shrill and unpleasant and made my son cry.
"It has the mark of a demon! A demon had possessed its corpse! It should be dead!" The woman screamed out causing the doctors and nurses who had left the room before to return.
I stood in front of my son defensively. Now that he had finally been given a chance to live I would not let these people, these so called 'angels' in medical garb, take it away.
"He is not possessed! He is not and 'it'!"
"It is a curse for it to be alive! A curse!"
"It is not a curse! It is a blessing! He is alive! Naruto is alive! That's all that matters!" It was true. That was all that mattered.
The nurses dragged their coworker out of the room and one of the doctors quickly checked Naruto over, shockingly deeming him perfectly healthy. As I later held him in my arms Tsunade and Jiraiya came in bearing a newspaper that said my son was a demon. They were outraged and worried. I was not. I knew the truth. He was not a demon. The demon had just given him the opportunity to live. I had four years with him and I would make them count.
"Minato," that all-too-familiar and cold voice brought me out of my memory. "It's time to go."
I followed without question, without hesitation. This 'man' had made clear long ago that he held Naruto's life in his hands and I would do anything to protect Naruto from Madara's wrath. Soon we were walking through newly fallen snow and I lost myself again in the memory of another October day.
"It appears you are not a coward," the man stated icily, yet it also held a tone of pleasured surprise. "All for the best though, because if you had decided not to come I would've killed the boy."
I made no comment. I just stood there, head bowed submissively under his aura. I had chosen this fate long ago and I would take all the consequences that came with that choice, no matter what they were.
"It's time for you to become my servant." I flinched. He had suddenly appeared next to me, his mouth hovering over my neck. "You will make a good slave. You will always obey the orders of Uchiha Madara or your son will die a very premature and painful death."
Sharp fangs tore through the skin of my neck and into my jugular vein. I felt my blood being drained from my veins and my heart slowed with each gulp he took. As soon as I thought he was going to take all my blood and kill me, a new liquid started to fill my veins. It burned.
IT BURNED!!!
I collapsed on the floor, writhing in agony. I was consumed by the pain that flowed through my veins. I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to end.
I wanted to die.
Madara dragged me to the open window and grabbed my head to force me to look outside. If I hadn't wanted to die from the pain I was experiencing, I would've wanted to die at the sight I saw before my eyes.
"Look at what this pain had bought you," His grip in my hair tightened, forcing me to keep looking at the sight of my son being tortured by a mob of people in the streets below. "You've bought your son this life. He will always be treated like a demon, like a monster. He will go through life alone and unloved. He will live in misery and you are the one to blame for it. It would have been better if he had never lived, don't you think?"
I never answered that question. I spent my last day as a human watching my son being tortured while I burned.
My mind came back to the present as we neared Itachi's mansion. For some reason I had an urge to look up at the windows on the higher floors of the massive building. I stopped dead in my tracks. There in a third-story window was Naruto. I hadn't seen him since my last day as a human but there was no doubt in my mind that the blond-haired youth was my son. I let my face relax, from the shocked expression I was unknowingly wearing, into a soft smile. I saw a smile start to form in return on Naruto's face when that icy voice sounded in my ear again.
"Minato, why are you dawdling?"
I started walking again. I couldn't let Madara know that Naruto was here. His sadistic nature would probably lead to things better left unthought of. When I was sure Madara wasn't looking I glanced back at Naruto out of the corner of my eye. I would have to talk to him once Madara was gone.
We finally entered the mansion through the large oak doors that served as the main entranceway. Itachi was there in the foyer waiting for us, Sasuke once again absent. I had only seen the younger Uchiha brother when Madara had sent me here alone, which had been a rare occurrence. Whether Madara cared about the constant absence of Sasuke or not was never visible in either his body language or his voice. He just acted like there was absolutely nothing wrong.
"Why hello there Itachi-kun." That sick smile of his appeared on Madara's face.
"Hn." Great. He was already at grunts. Itachi was definitely not in the right state for dealing with Madara today.
"Well I've brought Minato here to begin his training," he nodded toward me. "While I'm here though, why don't we talk some? It's been a while since we've last talked in person."
Itachi nodded. "We can talk in my study." His gaze moved to me and I thought I saw a curious gleam in his eyes. "Minato, you can wait in that room over there while we talk. Your room isn't ready yet and I would like to show you around the mansion personally."
I bowed my head in thanks and dismissal, before I went to the room Itachi indicated. It was a grandiose sitting room, furnished with opulently upholstered chairs, intricately carved wooden tables, and French doors unable to open to the outside world due to the thick layer of snow that came a quarter of the way up the door in height. Surprisingly the fireplace with its clay hearth and marble mantle was lit. Was it to make sure Naruto would be warm in any room he was in? Or was it for Sasuke's katahō?
A click and a whoosh disturbed me from my thoughts about the fire. The noise had not come from the door opening or a window. I turned to find a bookcase I had not spared a glance at had moved, revealing a secret passage. And standing in that passage, beside a raven-haired male I recognized as Sasuke's katahō, was Naruto.
"Naruto…" His name escaped my lips.
"Tou-san…"
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Burning. Nothing but burning. No, there were screams. Screams from who? The people of my clan? No, they were dead. They were all dead. Was it their souls screaming? Oh, god the burning. Why hadn't I died yet? Something was still screaming. What was it? My throat is hurting. It's burning like everything else but it feels so raw. Oh god, I'm screaming. I'M SCREAMING!
"IT BURNS! IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT FUCKING STOP! ANIKI! HELP ME!"
A new pain in my head. My hair twisted in an iron grasp.
"There is no point in screaming for your brother Sasuke." An icy voice, but there was no relief from the burning. "Open your eyes. He's in as much pain as you are."
Vision returned to my eyes. Itachi writhing in agony on the floor, the spilt blood of our parents surrounding him. The world went dark again and my screams became whimpers.
"Poor weak little Sasuke, you'll never be more than a sniveling babe. Males your age are supposed to be hunters and warriors yet you were nothing but a defenseless child who couldn't protect your clan. Their ghosts must be watching you with disgust and disappointment. But I'm saving you from their wrath. I'm making you into a monster that won't die and you'll have an eternity to repent."
I'm screaming again and there the memory faded.
"Damn you Madara," I said through gritted teeth. "I'll repent by killing you. Even if it kills me as well."
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"I only do this for you because you are one of the Ten, Madara." I wanted this demon gone. Every second he was here was another opportunity for him to find Naruto. "I know you are using him to spy on Sasuke and I."
"Still as sharp as ever I see." Deviousness flickered in his blood red eyes. They darted around the study searching for something. "Is Sasuke going to join us? I was so looking forward to seeing him. It's been at least a century since I talked to him last."
My body tensed with anger. How dare he ask about Sasuke so casually. "You know damn well he's not going to join us."
"Such language Itachi," a smirk graced his demonic visage. "Didn't your parents teach you to not use such language in front of your elders?"
I was going to snap. I was going to snap and attack this 'man'…and I would do it with pleasure. But I had others that came before my selfish need to kill Madara. It was a terrible shame that killing one of the Ten was an extremely large taboo.
"Get the FUCK OUT!" I yelled. I never yell. I could feel the snap coming. "I'll teach your fucking spy for you, but I'll be damned before I let you insult my parent's memory!"
That damn smirk stayed on his face but he was soon walking out of my study. As the door was closing behind him I heard him say one last thing.
"Silly boy, you're already damned."
The door closed and a second later something glass shattered against it. It was all I could do to relieve the tension I felt from not being able to snap.
K.I.L.L.I.N.G.L.O.N.E.L.I.N.E.S.S.M.E.M.O.R.I.E.S.T.H.A.T.H.A.U.N.T-E.N.D-
A/n:
Ruki: Well Minato and Madara have both entered the plot. Each will play pivotal parts in the chapters to come. This chapter also stressed the themes I have tried to incorporate into the story. The first is what defines a monster and are the people who call others monsters and evil in fact the monsters. The other one is how the best of intentions and sacrifices can turn ugly as evidenced by Minato's sacrifice which gave Naruto a life most would rather die than have.
Shadows: Madara was purposefully portrayed as a coldhearted bastard in this fic though I really do like him in the Naruto manga. Madara (in this fic) has a unique way in which he unleashes his sadistic nature. He either breaks the person's mind or takes advantage of someone when their mind is at it's weakest. The effects are usually long lasting and he delights in the mental anguish of his victims and any physical pain they do encounter.
Twi: In conclusion this chapter is immensely important and pivotal to the plot of this story. We hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review. You know you wanna!
Next – Where Itachi screws up majorly and I take lots of creative liberty with an only-mentioned and never seen Naruto character. And when I mean lots I mean I'm pretty much just using the name and that's it.